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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Feeling guilt for giving birth at 37 weeks after a sweep

74 replies

AOMum · 07/08/2023 18:03

I have a beautiful 7 week old baby at home and despite this, I am feeling some guilt and worry after her labour.

She is my rainbow baby (I dislike this term but don't have a better term) as I lost my son last year at 33 weeks. As a result, my pregnancy with her was incredibly difficult as I had a lot of anxiety and I was so worried I would not get to take her home. I would go into triage often for heartbeat checks as I was so worried her movement had reduced, even though I feel this was mostly anxiety induced rather than actual reduced movement and I would openly say this to the midwives.

At 37 weeks on the dot, I had another anxious episode, went into triage and as they checked her heartbeat (which was fine!) they noticed I was having some tightenings which I was not feeling. The midwives and a doctor then suggested I have a sweep. I'm not sure why this was suggested to be honest - I think it was that I was having tightenings, I had been on such a journey and my fear of reduced movements. The midwife said "I think you need your baby now, it's been one hell of a journey for you"

I asked if having a sweep at 37 weeks was harmful to the baby. I was reassured that baby was fully developed and from the looks of it, something was happening anyway. I said yes and during the sweep I was told I was 3cm dilated. I had some period cramping until about 5pm in the evening and then everything stopped. I then woke up at 3am with a mild pain, was in hospital at 4.10am where I was 4cm and gave birth at 5.56am. I had an hour and a half labour and pushed for 4 minutes (so quick!). She was born a healthy weight but did have jaundice which she needed to be under the lamp for.

Since then however, I have a lot of guilt. I've read that at a baby born at 37 weeks is at more risk of developmental delays, health issues ect. I'm annoyed that I allowed my anxiety to lead my brain. Lots of questions are now unanswered for me. Did the sweep work? Would I have made it to 40 weeks with tightenings and 3cm dilated or was she on the way anyway? If she was meant be born at 37 weeks I can accept that as it was naturally her journey but I feel guilt if the sweep brought her birth forwards by weeks.

Hoping for some reassuring words of wisdom (please only comments made out of kindness - us mums kick ourselves enough already)

OP posts:

Blahblahgingerbreadlady · 07/08/2023 18:04

Hi, just wanted to say that there is incredibly poor evidence that a sweep brings on labour. It sounds like the baby was coming anyway. I’m so sorry for your loss and congratulations on a beautiful healthy baby.

Alwaystired2023 · 07/08/2023 18:05

Big hugs xx I think your baby was just ready to come and meet you mama

I don't think there's loads of research for sweeps, and certainly did nothing for me at 42 weeks! So many different stories for sweeps but there's no 90% of labours start within 6 hours of having a sweep stat for a reason!

IamChipmunk · 07/08/2023 18:07

Agree with the PP, I declined a sweep several times with my first as when I researched it the evidence seemed to suggest that they were useless unless you were already going into labour anyway.
Also doesn't 37 weeks count as full term?

Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand · 07/08/2023 18:08

My dd was due one Xmas eve. MW did a sweep every tea time for a week so she would be here for Xmas and not us stuck in hospital.. Little buggar arrived NYE!!
I also had a prem ds born at 35 weeks and no delays or health issues at all and he is nearly 9..
Whatever situation a dc is born in we have weird worries!!
Congratulations on your dc op. Enjoy the early weeks . They really don't last long!

gingercat02 · 07/08/2023 18:12

38 weeks is classed a full term, so I very much doubt your gorgeous baby will have any issues being a few days before that. Understandably, you are scared after your loss, but try to enjoy her

Mushroo · 07/08/2023 18:12

Honestly it sounds like you did the right thing. 37 weeks is pretty much fully cooked and it sounds like labour was starting anyway.

If it makes you feel better, I was born at 32 weeks way back in the 80s and I’m absolutely fine. No long term impacts whatsoever. Enjoy
your new baby!

ShirleyPhallus · 07/08/2023 18:12

You poor thing, you’ve really been through it haven’t you

Tbh, a baby at 37 weeks is full term, so she’s absolutely fine. Given you were 3cm dilated anyway then it sounds like you were well on the way.

There is debate as to whether sweeps are actually efficient at bringing on labour. I had several in my pregnancies and they resulted in nothing. So there’s no scientific evidence to say that a sweep actually did anything for you.

Would you benefit from a post-birth debrief and some counselling?

SylvanianFrenemies · 07/08/2023 18:13

Sounds like your baby was ready.

I had my DDs induced at 38w and 35w for (my) medical reasons. It took a hell of a lot more than a sweep to get them out! They are now bright, healthy schoolgirls.

It's normal to be anxious after what you've been through. Congratulations on your lovely baby, enjoy her.

Bells3032 · 07/08/2023 18:13

Ok 1. Sweeps only really work if you're basically there anyway. So you would have had her within a couple of days probably anyway.

A baby born at 37 weeks is classed as full time. It's unlikely to cause any developmental delays and if it the risk is slightly higher you're talking a fraction of a percent.
Plenty of babies are born much earlier (including mine) with no developmental delays
I have a friend whose as in similar position and they induced her at 35 weeks as her mental health got so bad. So honestly good for you for getting to 37.
They would not have given you the sweep then if they thought there was additional risks to baby.

You did the right thing for you and baby. Baby is fine. Go enjoy those snuggles

FlipperSkipper · 07/08/2023 18:16

Please don’t do this to yourself. I understand how you feel, My son was born at 35 weeks as I was induced due to pre eclampsia. I felt guilty for a long time, that he was early and it was my fault. I felt like I’d let him down. I didn’t. He’s now a perfectly normal happy healthy 6 year old. Mine was also a very anxious pregnancy (ivf and I’d had 2 previous losses) so your post really resonates with me. If you were already 3cm when they examined you it sounds like she was ready. 37 weeks is classed as full term. Please try to enjoy your daughter. It might be worth asking for a birth debrief if you think it would help, or go to your GP and ask for some talking therapy.

PettsWoodParadise · 07/08/2023 18:16

My DD was born at 37 weeks after I had a placental abruption due to a trip on a paving slab a few weeks earlier. I had a heart beat check after the fall and just carried on when told (incorrectly) all was ok. I had a scan at 37 weeks when I had been bleeding for two days. Turned out she had swallowed blood and placenta hadn’t been working at 100%. I had to have an emergency c-section. I felt awful that I hadn’t pressed for a scan after fall etc. She has just turned 18, has been bright, energetic and fit all her life and hopefully about to head off to a top top Uni in September.

Try and enjoy your new born OP and just take each day as a special experience, it all goes so very very quickly!

DelphiniumBlue · 07/08/2023 18:17

37 weeks is full term for a lot of women, including me.
There's no way of telling whether the sweep helped kickstart things, but rest assured that the hospital would not have done it had they not thought it was the most appropriate course of action. They may well have taken the view that this baby was better off being born rather than staying in utero, and who knows what would have happened if it didn't work, or what else they might have tried.
You have a healthy baby, that is the best possible outcome.
The birth of this baby is bound to have brought up deep and conflicting emotions, I can only imagine how difficult this pregnancy must have been for you. You followed medical advice and have nothing to feel guilty for. Congratulations to you, and remember to be gentle to yourself.

domesticslattern · 07/08/2023 18:19

Hello lovely
Congratulations on your new baby.
I have absolutely no worries about your baby- 37 weeks is counted as full term. I do know- from experience- that an anxious pregnancy, a speedy birth and being separated from baby when they lie under the jaundice lamp can be a bit rough on the mother. And for you of course the loss of your beloved DS last year- I am so sorry.
So for that reason, please seek all the help you can for yourself. Tell your HV or GP about your worries, chat to your friends, family... wherever you can get support. Post-natal anxiety is no joke, and the sleep deprivation and hormones swirling really don't help. Eat regularly, try to get out for walks, talk to people. Try to avoid it spiralling, and if it really does, there are lots of us here who have been through it and can offer support. 💐

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 07/08/2023 18:19

Love, instead of worrying about these details before finding different ones to worry about, I think you should seek some help for your intrusive thoughts and anxiety. Cbt can really help.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/08/2023 18:20

I do get your guilt op, I had a planned c section with my twins at 36 weeks, I hadn't "dropped" and second twin was forced delivery cos he didn't wanna come out. I feel guilty I didn't let them cook until they were ready to come out. I wonder what they'd be like born a month later.

Bit it sounds like your baby was on her way, you'd started to dilate etc
At most it's a difference of hours / days

sameoldlove · 07/08/2023 18:22

As a mum of 4 I can honestly say I bet baby would of been there anyway in the next day or two so please don't feel any guilt. Also my most clever child is my one that was born at 37 weeks so makes no difference. At 37 weeks onwards baby is fully developed and literally just putting on weigh shedding the fluff in there xx

GettingStuffed · 07/08/2023 18:23

My daughter's first came at 37 weeks , apart from high functioning mild autism he's fine, I was born at 36 weeks no developmental issues. 37 weeks is full term. TBH I wish we were give a range of due dates so you baby is due between 37 and 42 weeks.

nocoolnamesleft · 07/08/2023 18:33

3cm? Sounds like your baby was already on the way. Congratulations.

sarahc336 · 07/08/2023 18:36

If you were already 3cm then I'm pretty sure your baby was coming anyway op 😁

stealthbanana · 07/08/2023 18:46

37w is full term. I had both of my babies “naturally” (ie no sweep) at 37w on the dot. Both babies were over 8 pounds and perfectly healthy with perfect APGAR scores. There is no reason to be concerned at all.

congratulations on your rainbow baby and managing what I’m sure was (rightly) a very anxious pregnancy and birth.

Shergill15 · 07/08/2023 18:50

Bless you, sounds like baby was on her way anyway if you were already 3cm. My daughter was born at 37 weeks and I was told she was classed as early term. She's 8 now and no health or developmental problems at all.

Congratulations on your lovely baby xx

Lifeinlists · 07/08/2023 18:51

After all the trauma and anxiety you have been through, you would probably be best speaking to your GP/ midwife / health visitor. You sound like you really need some kind and sympathetic counselling at least, and some ongoing support.

You know your baby's fine but you're having trouble believing it which is very understandable.

Mischance · 07/08/2023 18:54

Oh please don't feel guilty! Enjoy your lovely baby - and many many congratulations.

ThreeLocusts · 07/08/2023 18:59

Hi, I was born at 35 weeks and fine. Had sweeps when pregnant and they did not induce labour.

You've had a very difficult time but you have nothing to reproach yourself for. Enjoy your baby!

Mummy08m · 07/08/2023 19:01

Congratulations on your baby.

You were 3cm dilated - you were going to have that baby!!

I never got more than 2cm dilated even after 24h on a syntocin drip. So for me, 3cm is incredibly dilated.

Think of it this way - perhaps the sweep helped you have a quicker labour which is better than a very long protracted labour which can be bad for the baby's oxygen etc. So it was the right thing to do!

(Or perhaps the sweep did literally nothing)

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