Struggling to decide ELCS or risk further damage below?

[pampam24]

What did you do?

1st baby - Natural birth on gas and air, struggled at the end and almost turned ugly but we got there with just a 2nd degree tear.
Baby boy was big.
Prolapse symptoms still present despite plenty of physio. Not as tight obviously, but can't feel sex as much as I did, not horrendously so but still bothers me.
Also, prolapsed haemorrhoids still present and annoying every time I open my bowels, but manageable.

2nd baby boy, due to be bigger but not too big. Consultant said another vaginal birth may make things much worse, or they might not get worse at all. They can't predict that which I understand, he did however say I could have an ELCS if I wanted to protect my pelvic floor.

I am stressing as can't decide. So many risks with both. I have a few questions if anyone has time?

.Did a second vaginal birth make your prolapse worse?

.Did a second vaginal birth make sex even worse/much looser?

.If you opted for ELCS the second time, did you feel robbed of the spontaneity/excitement of going into labour? I loved my birth story (bar the prolapse).

.Struggles bonding or breastfeeding after ELCS?

.Do you get a c-section pouch or is that a myth? My tummy went back to normal after my 1st. Can't say the same for the two dog ears that drop above it!

Thanks xxx

Tough one... I had a second degree tear but no prolapse on the first. Hoping to go spontaneously again on this one.
The one question I feel I can answer (albeit through second hand information) is that mum friends who had an ELCS second time around had no issues with bonding/ breastfeeding, apart from the logistical hassle of trying to fit it all in with a baby/ toddler also needing their attention. But that would still be a hurdle after a vaginal birth.
Hope you get more informative answers from others, I don't like to read and run.

Thanks for replying anyway!x

I don’t think bonding or breast feeding will be an issue as it’s your second. I had an emcs for a too big to exit and then a VBAC with episiotomy. VBAC and episiotomy healed fine no issues. I’ve got the dreaded over hang and I suffered incontinence and painful sex after the emcs. I did however plan to have an elcs second time but baby had other ideas. I have quite a bit of muscle damage in my abdomen but I think that was more due to being pregnant with a heavy baby
Moving around is difficult after a cs. Getting up from a chair has to be planned! Pain was controlled with paracetamol and ibuprofen after the cs and I also needed painkillers after the VBAC.
It’s a very difficult one.

I had a v small second degree tear with my first and no post-birth issues. After my second vaginal birth I now have a mild prolapse and haemerroids even though it was a straightforward birth. But I’d still absolutely go for a vaginal birth for #3 rather than an ELCS.

@Whyohwhyohwhy123 ahhh that's rough. I've heard that EMCS whilst baby is engaged can cause such problems. How are you now re sex? Especially after the VBAC?

I was immobile for weeks after my VB, and I would wet myself and not be able to stop the flow even 5 weeks after! Too scared to go out and if I walked more than a few metres I felt as though my uterus was going to escape out of my, erm, you know. It was vile. I thought only CS made you like that.

I had an elcs after very nearly losing my first baby during an emcs due to a combination of circumstance and medical error. It was an absolute breeze. I have had such a strong bond with my little girl from the moment she was born. And I was able to breast feed her. We had a little blip in her feeding but that was because she became week after falling ill with meningitis. A bit of perseverance and she was breast feeding again.

The head wasn’t engaged with my emcs it was too big to engage.
Im fine after the VBAC, it’s not as good as it originally was but better than after the emcs. More time has passed though
i had similar issues with wettting myself. It did stop though and I had no issues after the VBAC at all.

I did get much better care second time round. Very senior midwife in during delivery and they would have intervened much sooner than the did before.

I had a nasty third degree tear with my first after long labour and forceps, very large baby. Went for vaginal second time as had healed well and had second degree tear. I have healed very well again and can't say I think it's caused any long term issues.

I had two vaginal births and had a lot of internal stitches but didn't tear. Babies weighed 6 lb 8 Oz and 7 lb. I was looser even after exercise to tighten up. I was told my third baby was very large. I was offered a C Section and was trying to decide what to do but got pre eclampsia and had to have C section. It was so easy. Baby born 3 1/2 weeks early and 9lb. I was home 2 days later. My Mum came to stay for a month to help with my other DC. She did all the cooking and cleaning and most of the shopping and childcare. I didn't have any problems bonding with any of them. I breastfed them all. I was walking about the day after section and had a shower. I had this bead thing that had to be cut but really if I'd had another baby I'd have begged for a section. It was all over in about 3 minutes. My Midwife told me if my baby had gone to term or a week over like my first two it would have been up to 11lb. I'm sure I'd have ripped. C Section is safer for baby too. I've got a small overhang but had that after first vaginal birth.

I had a c section for my twins.

No issues with either bonding or breastfeeding - fed them just as long as my eldest, who.was a textbook easy vaginal delivery. No overhand either.

I did find recovery tougher for c section. But in your case... I certainly didn't find it as tough as what you've been through!

Didn't feel that it robbed it of spontaneity. I think I was just relieved that I could sort out childcare for my eldest so easily. My DH got her settled with my parents (I had to be admitted the previous day) and then came to join me in plenty of time. Very relaxed. So defintiely less spontaneous, but I didn't feel that was a loss second time round.

I do wonder about sex.... opting for for vbac this time (assuming all goes to plan). But I do wonder if its going to make things looser.... especially as I'm 7 years older than for the first one.

@Beebel gosh, so lucky no long term issues down there after that. Not even a bit looser? So envious!! I'm a car crash!

@caringcarer wow, what a story. Really glad to hear from someone who's had both. And nice to hear a positive CS story.
Have you managed to tighten up at all down there since? I don't think any amount of physio can help me now!

I was immobile after my VB, couldn't get off the couch without help and DH passed baby to me all the time. People keep telling me CS recovery is worse and will be worse, but I can't imagine worse than being immobile whilst screaming in agony every time you pee and having to combine every pee with a shower so the urine isn't like acid on stitches, and of course wetting yourself on occasion. Not to mention the permanent problems!

Anyone here with a bad prolapse which made them contemplate a CS, like me!? Xx

I would choose ELCS.

First birth was vaginal and horrendous.

Second was ELCS. I was scared beforehand but it was really positive and SO calm.
No lasting damage. No c-section pouch and I recovered so much quicker than I thought I would (and much quicker than my first birth).

I won’t have another but if I did I would go for ELCS in a heartbeat.

I wouldn't take the risk.
My elective was amazing and I would do it again any day over risking damage to myself that could last the rest of my life

@TinyTeacher I think my looseness is caused by my prolapse, which actually happened whilst pregnant (it just got REALLY bad due to the VB). I didn't have a strong pelvic floor before pregnancy, and didn't know much about it, the weight of the baby combined with nursing on my feet just made it go. As long as yours is strong and you're doing pelvic floors now I'm sure you won't have this issue x

Thanks for replying with your CS story. Relieved that no one seems to have BF or bonding issues after having CS. x

I had two ELCS. Up and about in a day or so, short walks within a week, basically fine in two. Bf all of them (second birth was twins) and no issues at all with bonding. And best of all, everything down below functions exactly as it did pre-babies. No looseness, loss of sensation or incontinence. I did have nasty complications with haemorrhoids during my twin pregnancy and got them operated on while still 34 weeks pregnant. Compared to that, both sections were an absolute breeze. If you've already suffered damage with a VB, why risk making it worse?

ELCS is generally a much faster recovery than EMCS.

I could have written this myself....

1st baby. Induction, forceps, pph, multiple blood transfusions, prolapse that needs surgery. But no incontinence.

2nd baby wasn't sure what to do. But my number one priority was no more damage. Uro gynaecologist strongly hinted that a c section was a good idea. Had an elective c section 3 weeks ago. Recovery has been significantly easier than my vaginal birth. Only needed paracetamol and ibuprofen. Feel pretty normal at 3 weeks. Occasionally my scar aches if I do too much, ie a 3 hour walk. But not enough to take painkillers. Frustrating that I can't pick up the toddler but it's a small thing.

I have zero regrets. It was a calm, peaceful experience and I can remember it all.

@pampam24, yes tightened up nicely down below. It took about 4-5 months of squeezing, with pelvic floor exercises every time I was sat in the car. The whole process was super easy and I wished I could have had one for the first two births. So much easier, no contraction pains. As you already have some damage I'd not be risking any further damage. I was awake through the process and didn't feel a thing. I got my baby given to me immediately after birth then whisked off as premature.

Should have added, I am exclusively breastfeeding. My milk came in on day 3, took until day 5 after my vaginal birth. No issues with bonding.

I had your exact issue but was due twins second time round. It was awful and I regretted it for a long time. The prolapse is still there anyway.

I had a third degree tear, some incontinence and really painful sex for at least a year after my first. Second I was given the option of ELCS, which I took, and it was so easy in comparison. I was fine walking around outside by 2 weeks (not the case at all after a third degree tear). Also dd latched on straight away and was much easier to feed than my ds had been. Way less pain, no issues feeding and no c section overhang. It was definitely the best decision for me.

I had similar issues with my first DC. Induced, forceps, 2nd degree tear with repair in theatre after PPH. Felt very battered and bruised and had prolapse symptoms and some incontinence afterwards. Was unsure what to do about second birth. Went for a vaginal birth in the end and avoided induction. Had a very quick Labour and pushed him out in a couple of pushes. Only one stitch needed for a tiny tear. Despite another PPH and a trip to theatre, things down there feel surprisingly normal and absolutely no pain or discomfort. Ultimately I’m glad I chose to try for a vaginal birth as luckily it worked out well for me, but I also appreciate that a c section would have been more of a certainty in terms of further symptoms. Good luck with everything.

I had ELCS, and would do it again in a heartbeat. Really calm, lovely birth, breastfed my baby for the first time on the operating table after she was handed to me, and having had the baby after lunch, i was up and walking around (though very slowly and carefully!) by that evening.

(My main reason for wanting an ELCS was to protect my pelvic floor. I think not fancying a prolapse is an excellent reason for a CS!)

Oh, though I do have a slight pouch! It's not at all visible through clothes and not too bad when I'm naked, but I don't love it. I did put on quite a lot of weight while pregnant though, having been very slim beforehand. And I still haven't lost all the weight (2 years on...)

(So it might improve once I've lost weight)

I had no labours at all - 2 C-Sections, and I still have prolapses.