Struggling to decide ELCS or risk further damage below?

[pampam24]

What did you do?

1st baby - Natural birth on gas and air, struggled at the end and almost turned ugly but we got there with just a 2nd degree tear.
Baby boy was big.
Prolapse symptoms still present despite plenty of physio. Not as tight obviously, but can't feel sex as much as I did, not horrendously so but still bothers me.
Also, prolapsed haemorrhoids still present and annoying every time I open my bowels, but manageable.

2nd baby boy, due to be bigger but not too big. Consultant said another vaginal birth may make things much worse, or they might not get worse at all. They can't predict that which I understand, he did however say I could have an ELCS if I wanted to protect my pelvic floor.

I am stressing as can't decide. So many risks with both. I have a few questions if anyone has time?

.Did a second vaginal birth make your prolapse worse?

.Did a second vaginal birth make sex even worse/much looser?

.If you opted for ELCS the second time, did you feel robbed of the spontaneity/excitement of going into labour? I loved my birth story (bar the prolapse).

.Struggles bonding or breastfeeding after ELCS?

.Do you get a c-section pouch or is that a myth? My tummy went back to normal after my 1st. Can't say the same for the two dog ears that drop above it!

Thanks xxx

I had an ELCS second time due to concerns over DS’s size, he ended up being pretty much 10lb so it was the right decision!

An ELCS is a more medical experience I can’t lie, I had a natural birth with DD and was in the birth pool most of the time with my own music etc. However, hand on heart, both experiences were magical when baby arrived. With DD I was exhausted, I ended up needing an episiotomy and had a second degree tear plus internal tears, I felt rough. But meeting her was amazing and I felt so proud of myself. With DS I had been happily chatting to the anaesthetist about my DD’s first day at school, totally relaxed and then DS arrived. I was overwhelmed at how quickly a baby could arrive and so happy to meet him. Both different, no one less amazing and magical. I feel lucky to have had the chance to experience both types of birth. It is a hard decision I agree, but if bonding with baby is one of your concerns I wouldn’t worry at all.

I decided not to breastfeed DS due to lots of previous issues with DD but I know if I’d have wanted to I would have been very supported.

I’d have the c section if it’s been offered.
I can’t answer your questions relating to second baby/birth as I’ve only had one baby who was born by planned c section, but in answer to your final two questions-

I haven’t got a “pouch” (despite being a bit overweight), my scar is thin and neat - visible but I actually love it and it’s in no way a problem for me (clothed or naked!)

No issues bonding with baby- he was placed on my chest as soon as he was taken out and that first cuddle in theatre covered in blood and amniotic fluid and vernix was just magical. Lots of skin to skin and help establishing feeding. Sadly breastfeeding didn’t work out for us (I had an oversupply problem so he kept getting violently sprayed in the face which upset him and led to his ultimate refusal to continue breastfeeding, also it was hugely painful for me. I don’t think this was anything to do with having had a c section though, as I think under supply is supposed to be the potential problem there).

Overall a lovely experience and whilst I totally understand the loss of excitement going into labour, on the flip side it was also lovely knowing my son‘s birthday in advance and counting down the days to meeting him 😍

Congrats and good luck with your decision! Whatever you choose I’m sure it will be the choice that’s right for you

I know this is very old but what did you go for @pampam24 and how did it work out?

I had a CS for first birth (breech), lovely VBAC for second but ended up with minor prolapse. So although the birth was better and initial recovery easier- the long term recovery was much much harder and have this constant prolapse issue to worry about, Has got worse already in third trimester with final baby so I’m considering C-section to hopefully avoid any further damage. Interested to know your experience

@SleeplessInSuburbscongratulations! I went with an ELCS for my second (actually 8 weeks pregnant with 3rd, so will have this decision to make again!). Part of me regretted having an ELCS to be honest. The excitement and magic of spontaneous labour wasn’t there, and boy oh boy the recovery was vile. 3 weeks before I could walk around but it still hurt. I remember being so mobile the same day I gave birth naturally. My prolapse symptoms returned during pregnancy but that’s only because of the hormones making everything looser, and the baby’s weight. I was surprised how quickly with pelvic floor exercises it went back to normal. I’ve had no prolapse symptoms for two years now (I was initially grade 3 I think - a lot worse than minor). Last time physio checked she said you wouldn’t tell you’ve had two babies by the strength here. On that basis I’m thinking VBAC for my 3rd. Disappointed that despite my slender frame I still have that C-section pouch and I don't want it getting worse! Good luck xxx

@pampam24 Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me! And congratulations on your third pregnancy. So good to hear that you have been symptom free! I'm still very on the fence. I much preferred VBAC to c-section- it felt obviously less medicalised and less scary in general. Plus I think helped with bonding and my VBAC baby had no issues with allergies, eczema etc which my first did (could be coincidence). BUT I'm still v worried about another vaginal birth making my prolapse worse or just in general having a worse vaginal birth (forceps etc- my birth was actually very straightforward but nonetheless ended up with prolapse 🙄).Such a tricky choice and nobody seems to have any solid evidence on it. Lots of luck for your pregnancy.