Requesting an elective c-section

[Mumm1993]

Hi all,
I am around 8 weeks pregnant but have a severe debilitating fear of childbirth. This is to the point that my partner (desperate to be a dad 😭) has suggested we end the pregnancy because of my panic attacks, constant crying, lack of sleep and severe violent nightmares I’m having over it.

I’ve just found out elective c-sections are possible and even just knowing this is a possibility has already resulted in me feeling actually a bit excited about the pregnancy for the first time.

how early can I be guaranteed an ELCS and who do I initially go to to request one? My Gp or my midwife?

and am I guaranteed one if I request it? I genuinely believe that if I am refused I am going to end this pregnancy 9 months of panic attacks and guaranteed PTSD/PND after a vaginal birth is not something me or my partner are prepared to live through, although we both genuinely want to start a family.

i am now less anxious knowing an ELCS is an option but worries they’ll make we wait before guaranteeing one and then it being too late to end the pregnancy :(

thank you all <3

Honestly as long as you can show you’ve thought it through and aren’t just “demanding” a section for no reason it’ll be fine.

my elcs was an absolute bitch though and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. So I would suggest you do actually consider your options and talk it through with a m/w. If you’re still convinced then you know you’re doing the right thing.

I think they are more willing and understanding to allow mothers to make the choice to have them these days. When I asked for one with my DD in 2010 I was almost laughed at. I'm glad I didn't as her birth was amazing. When I had my DS 2021 it was offered as an option in my birth plan. Good luck OP. Stand firm.

You sound exactly like me OP. I mentioned that I wanted elective CS from very first booking appointment. They've never tried to dissuade me, cause I was pretty firm from the get go.

Mine is booked for 10 days time. It's definitely taken a HUGE weight off my mind during pregnancy, as I wouldn't have coped well otherwise. However there's still the anxiety of going into Labour before CS date and having a rapid birth for example. VERY unlikely things to happen, but just warning you as this is what's worrying me on a daily basis at the moment 🙁. Getting freaked out by every twinge or pain atm is not fun!

@inky1991 hope you hang in there, that’s exactly how I felt and looking back the worry of not getting the section and then that worry just took over my whole pregnancy. I didn’t go anywhere far away in the last 2/3 months in case I went into labour and packed my hospital bag months in advance. I made it in the end and I’m sure you will too, I strongly believe that my anxiety was what stopped me going into labour though. I was never relaxed and your body has got to be relaxed to go into labour. A midwife told me that I wouldn’t progress normally in labour because of the state I’d got myself into over it anyway so she was glad I was having a section.. that made me feel better in a way! You will look back and this will all just be a memory and you’ll probably love the section! Ive got 4 months til I do it all again and I’m trying to make the most of my lack of fear of early labour at this point before it kicks in again nearer the time and I’m housebound again 🙈

Glad to hear you didn’t meet any resistance! But I will be exactly like you when I’m at your stage 🙈
this thread has definitely made me feel better 🤗

Thank you so much for opening this thread, and to everyone for sharing their stories. I feel exactly like you Mumm1993, and knowing I'm not alone feeling like makes me less anxious.

just an update for anyone that’s feeling the same -I just had a phone call with an NHS birth choices midwife and she was LOVELY. I obviously burst into tears sitting 20 seconds and after 5 minutes she put forward a referral for a consult with a surgeon to book in an elective c section.
we also had a long chat about why I’m scared, the risks of both c sections AND vaginal births (ngl she made the c section sound lovely!) and also referred me to a mental health charity to help with any perinatal anxiety.
we also discussed that I can change my decision any time, and reassured me that I will absolutely get the birth choice that’s best for my mental health.

feeling like a blotchy mess after the call but already so grateful for the wonderful NHS ❤️

That's great news! I hope you feel a bit better now.

@Mumm1993 so glad you got someone so understanding 😊 I don’t think they realise what a huge difference it can make, especially when it’s all you think about while pregnant! The consultant will most likely read you the risks and might even try to put you off but all you have to say is yes to everything. I looked up all the risks myself so I just said yes until they got to the bit where they’d book it! It’s a huge weight off your mind knowing you CAN have one but will be even better when it’s booked no doubt. Hope the consultant appointment goes well 😊

This is wonderful to hear. Thanks so much for sharing ❤️❤️❤️

Speak to your midwife at your booking in. Maybe they can signpost you to the peri mental health team.

I had a rubbish first birth and two elective C-section. For my first c-section my consultant appointment wasn’t until 38 weeks but my midwife wrote to them and asked them to see me earlier due to the anxiety I had around birth.

You do realise an ECS is done under spinal anaesthetic, you'll be conscious throughout?

Although you can plan an ECS on an agreed date , it will require an anaesthetist to be available; and there is always the chance they will be fully occupied with surgical emergencies.

I can promise you there is nothing about a c section I don’t know about. FYI I am a veterinarian, highly medically/surgically trained myself just with animals and am aware of everything that could go wrong. I also have had no previous anxieties/mental health issues ever before and never realised what a complete phobia I had!

We're all different OP. Funnily enough I can't bear the idea of a C-Section - it terrifies me!
I remember when you originally posted this thread. How are you getting along with your pregnancy? Hope you get your wishes!
For me personally I wouldn't want the longer recovery time of a c-section - I only had a few stitches with my 1st birth so I was very mobile again very quickly! But as you have said in your post you've researched all of this so if the aftercare doesn't bother you then go for it :). Fwiw I'm terrified of flying and I'd do things other people wouldn't do in order not to fly!

Hi,
I found out I was pregnant with baby no4 yesterday. My first Labour wasn't easy but my second baby was an absolute dream delivery so when I fell with my 3rd I was so chilled and expected the same again, unfortunately that wasn't the case and I ended up with a forceps delivery and it was quite traumatic. I am hoping this time around I can request an elective c section because I really don't think I can put my self through that again!

I found a lot of comfort reading this thread, being in the same position of the OP. For anyone reading now, a few months on, and having similar feelings – I also wanted to share my experience. I have been to my birth choice appointment today, and I feel so relieved after a lot of anxiety and anticipation. The NHS guidelines have changed – mental health concerns are just as valid as physical health concerns, and it's all about maternal choice. I was extremely anxious I'd have to put up a fight, jump through hoops, and still be pressured towards natural birth (even if my community midwife tried to reassure me it wouldn't be the case!). There has been a push to avoid c-sections at all costs in the past (for insurance reasons, hospitals were audited on their C-section rates), but that's not the case anymore – the new guidelines recognise the importance of women's choices. You can choose to have an elective c-section, you can change your mind on the day, you can even start labour and then decide you want a c-section (unless you're literally at the final stage and it'd be silly to push the baby's head back in and move to the surgery room!). I hope this helps put your mind at ease and make the choice that works best for you xx

@Als93 thank you for your post :)

I am now 12 weeks post c-section and I am so grateful for the amazing care I received from the NHS during my pregnancy, on the day of my c-section and post partum <3

My baby girl was delivered to the same song as our first dance, I had a lovely chilled chat with the surgeons and anaethetists during the op and was home after 24 hours.

Ngl the first 2/3 weeks of recovery were PAINFUL physically (hot poker iron pain to the lower abdomen every time the ibuprofen wore off) but honestly they were still the best and happiest 3 weeks of my entire life because all my fears totally evaporated and my beautiful girl was delivered safely and handed to a very in love and happy mummy!

12 weeks on theres still a bit of pain in my scar but my mental health has been fantastic. Didn't even get the baby blues!

Best of luck for your section in the future :)