Requesting an elective c-section

[Mumm1993]

Hi all,
I am around 8 weeks pregnant but have a severe debilitating fear of childbirth. This is to the point that my partner (desperate to be a dad 😭) has suggested we end the pregnancy because of my panic attacks, constant crying, lack of sleep and severe violent nightmares I’m having over it.

I’ve just found out elective c-sections are possible and even just knowing this is a possibility has already resulted in me feeling actually a bit excited about the pregnancy for the first time.

how early can I be guaranteed an ELCS and who do I initially go to to request one? My Gp or my midwife?

and am I guaranteed one if I request it? I genuinely believe that if I am refused I am going to end this pregnancy 9 months of panic attacks and guaranteed PTSD/PND after a vaginal birth is not something me or my partner are prepared to live through, although we both genuinely want to start a family.

i am now less anxious knowing an ELCS is an option but worries they’ll make we wait before guaranteeing one and then it being too late to end the pregnancy :(

thank you all <3

They don't normally discuss this till the later stages of pregnancy but if you bring it up at your midwife appointment when you next go I'm sure you'll be able to have an elective section.
I asked for one for my third baby and nobody really tried to convince me otherwise.
Just explain it how you have here. I'm sorry it's so scary for you but congratulations on your baby and I hope you can relax when you've spoken to your midwife

I mentioned it at my first midwife appointment although the date wasn't confirmed until after my 20 week scan. There was never any question that it wouldn't be granted though. One thing that did help was talking to the perinatal mental health consultant because she was 100% behind me and, had I of needed her to, she would have demanded I have one. As it was, my consultant and midwives could not have been more supportive and went out of their way to ensure that I was comfortable and that potential triggers were minimised as far as possible (I have PTSD and was concerns that birth would trigger it hugely). You should absolutely get your ELCS though, please don't worry about that and just focus on keeping yourself as healthy as possible.

One thing that I also did - which I appreciate may not be feasible at all - was work out how I could make the finances work for a private ELCS if needed. I was very glad that I didn't need to go that route, and it shouldn't need to be an option, but just knowing it could work gave me a lot of comfort.

I had elective sections with my kids. It is actually planned later in the pregnancy but I think I brought it up with the midwife fairly early. I found that the consultant just wanted to know that I was aware of the risks. Don't worry, you will get your section. Try to enjoy your pregnancy.

I brought it up at my first midwife appointment- they told me it would never be a "no" if I wanted one.

Do you think you are ready to be mum?

I was petrified of giving birth - ended up being induced with just gas and air and it wasn't as bad as expected. Recovery was pretty quick even though I had a lot of stitches.

I've also recently had abdominal gynae surgery - recovery was much longer, it was more painful too. I'm still not healed after over three weeks, and it was keyhole, albeit 4 incisions. My stomach muscles still ache, my wounds still hurt.

My point is surgery isn't an easier option, just a different one. Yes the delivery is painless, but afterwards it is more painful, for longer.

If I were to have another baby I'd choose to deliver vaginally again if possible, because the debilitation post surgery was much worse for me.

Speak to your midwife. Whichever way you choose to deliver you need help with your anxiety.

What an utterly ridiculous and hurtful comment. There was no way in hell that I was having a vaginal birth but I still manage to be a fucking amazing mum to my son.

Thank you everyone.
im not scared of being in pain. It’s a phobia I can’t control and I think it’s more of the unknown. I am a veterinarian and know how to evaluate evidence based medicine and for me an ELCS seems like the only way this baby is coming out of me with my mental health in one piece.
I have never had any other mental health issues, no anxiety, no depression no nothing! It’s a phobia and it’s currently ruining my pregnancy.
Obviously im not sleeping again as up at 4am 🤣 but I have found this reassuring thank you 🤗

It is your choice. You have the right to choose it. Bring it up asap so your midwife can alleviate this worry.

You just tell them what you’ve typed here, they can’t refuse you. They may try to dissuade you so you must be prepared to stand firm.

I had elective, (breech, I refused ECV). I saw two doctors who tried to persuade me to have vaginal birth, I just reiterated my stance. On the day, I was taken in first as the only ‘non elective’ … strange!

Try not to let your fear ruin your whole pregnancy, you have the ultimate say. This should be a happy time for you both.

You will get your c section as other posters have said. Also as other posters have said it isnt the easier option - after a vag birth I recovered far quicker than the people I know who had sections.
I'm not for one second trying to persuade you otherwise, you know your own mind, but I highly highly recommend reading some hypnobirthing books. It isn't all silly wishy washy woo woo (unless you want it to be) but it explains the biological processes behind labour and childbirth and there are breathing exercises and guided meditations you can do. Helped me IMMENSELY with my first baby and I'm now pregnant with my second.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and I wish you all the best. It is terrifying doing it first time around but its all worth it in the end:)

Get an elective and get reffered to the maternity psychiatry dept, I did due to PTSD/DV where I couldnt even imagine the birth. It really helped. They made sure I had an elective and a private room.

ok. Be aware that HCP’s need to ensure you make an informed decision.

so they will talk you through all the risks. This is not trying to persuade you, but you need to understand what the risks are.

if you can demonstrate that you have given proper thought and consideration, and for you all those risks are outweighed by the benefit (I.e to your mental health), then you will get your section.

Maybe it depends on which hospital or things have changed since I had mine but I was refused a c section when I asked for my first child as there was no physical reason that I couldn’t give birth vaginally. I fought it on MH grounds & won but I definitely wouldn’t have got it otherwise. As I say maybe it’s different now. I can only assume they were also reluctant due to the cost of what they considered an unnecessary procedure

I'm not sure when you gave birth but the NICE guidelines state that women are allowed their choice of birth. If a consultant refuses, they have to refer you to someone who will do it. Plus mental health reasons are equally as valid as physical health reasons (as indeed is any reason).

I had an elective, I mentioned it at my first appointment with a midwife and then at every single appointment there after, I was consultant led and mentioned it at every single one of those appointments as well and the scans for good measure. I was like a broken bloody record with it to be honest but I wasn't taking any chances. Every time someone tried to 'talk me round' for want of a better phrase I would state that I was aware of the risks but on balance I felt that in my situation the benefits far outweighed them. I was suffering PTSD after an extremely traumatic and complicated first birth and loss of my eldest daughter and the very idea of going through natural birth again was utterly abhorrent to me.

I got my section, mostly to shut me up I reckon they didn't book a date until
I was about 34/35 weeks I think? And I had her bang on 38 weeks as I had started to suffer with kidney issues and her growth was slowing down.

For what it's worth, my section was calm, straightforward and my recovery was relatively quick, after two weeks I felt pretty much back to normal (so much so I went to see the cure with my dad). My incision healed beautifully, no infections, I took my pain medication every four hours (don't be a trooper, it's far better to take it when you think you don't need it than to wait till you do) and moved around little but often, standing up, having a little potter around, gentle walks etc. I could lift my baby with no trouble (except during the first night as I was still a bit numb, the midwives were great though) When compared with the 16 week recovery from my vaginal birth I'd take a section every single time.

Good luck to you, stick to your guns and congratulations on your pregnancy.

My first child was born in 1999 so may well have been different over 2 decades ago. The whole experience was rotten back then so hope NHS has improved standards since then

Just told this story on another thread but due to vaginismus I chose elective section for second birth, explained why and it was never questioned, I had to have a meeting with the consultant surgeon and told him why too and he approved it.

You are absolutely allowed even if you have no medical reason. You have very good medical reason, it's a mental health condition and they can't, and won't, refuse you. Please try not to worry x

I had an ELCS because to me (and I appreciate this is totally personal) the risks were less than those of a V birth which might end up being an emergency section anyway.
I mentioned it to the consultant when I was 16 weeks (I had to see him due to diabetes in family, my trusts policy)
He told me it would be fine but I’d need to speak to the birth choices midwife to go through correct process. That was booked for week 23, in the appt (which actually ended up being a different consultant instead of midwife) she ran through facts and at the end of the appointment booked me in for the section with date tbc although gave me a strong indication of when it would be, at 39 + 2 weeks. The letter confirming date came through the post about 2/3 weeks later. Easy.
as it was I had to have the section one week early due to reduced movements but it was the best thing I’ve ever done (again, everyone is different) but pain was bad for 24/48 hours but then fine, off paracetamol by day 5, was out and about after a week, scar looks good with minimum overhang and what is there can be dealt with when I’ve finished the chocolates. I am now 11 weeks pp and and I already know I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

This was exactly me. I had spent my whole life thinking I wouldn’t have kids as I just couldn’t face the idea of giving birth. It wasn’t even like a maybe for me, I just wasn’t going to do it. It was like I had a sixth sense I’d die giving birth or something and I was terrified beyond belief about the entire thing. At my 6 week midwife appointment she went through the standard stuff and said I’d be green pathway then went onto say I’d be giving birth at the birth centre of my hospital. I knew it was way too early but just couldn’t even let her write that down when I knew there was no possibility I could ever do that. I explained my fear and I felt like she just kind of laughed and went ‘yeah everyone is like that, we’ll deal with that nearer the time’. She did assure me that a maternal request c-section was possible though and I would get one if I wanted one so I felt a tiny bit relieved but also that she’d brushed me off.

I didn’t see her again until 16 weeks. By this point I was starting to wake up at night having nightmares about having consultant appointments and them saying no. I asked again and got the same answer again. My next appointment was 23 weeks. By this point I’d considered going to my GP about how I was feeling as I just needed someone to give me reassurance or tell me it was booked. I went to my 23 week appointment and burst into tears. This one was with a different midwife and she could see the state I’d got myself into over it. This time she did listen and she referred me to a consultant. A few weeks went by and I hadn’t heard anything back about an appointment so my anxiety was rising again but I did eventually get one through.

The consultant appointment was completely fine. I’d already read all the risks and how rare most of them were so she could tell I’d done my research. She said she’d book me in for 34 weeks to arrange a date for my c-section in the 39th week. I did relax quite a bit knowing she’d taken me seriously and I relaxed more when I knew it was booked. I still felt very on edge that I might go into labour early though and they might not be quick enough to do it so I didn’t breathe until the baby was actually here.

But I didn’t go into labour, I made it to my date. It was the most wonderful experience. I can’t emphasise enough how much I loved it. The sorest bit of the whole thing was the cannula going in my hand! Within 90 seconds of the curtain going up, my baby was here. Even the recovery wasn’t bad, I just took all the painkillers. I think I was just running on sheer relief at not having had to go through labour or experience a traumatising birth that I didn’t want when I’d been saying from the start about a c-section.

It was so good I’m brave enough to do it all again in a few months time! 😊 I have a massive relief this time and my pregnancy is completely different as I’ve already had one so I just get the option this time rather than feeling like I have to fight for one. It’s taken away so much of my worry, which completely ruined my last (otherwise quite easy) pregnancy for me. Honestly if I can get through it you can too. Focus your energy into writing notes to use when speaking to the midwife and consultant about your decision. Look up your hospital on birth rights too. I can send you my notes if you like. I’m sure itl all be fine

Thank you so so much for this. Honestly I already feel slightly better and even a bit excited 🤗 I’ll probably be up having another panic tonight but it’s so reassuring knowing that everything should be ok.
x

As everyone has said, they won't discuss this until much later in pregnancy. I was consultant led and they didn't actually book me for my elective until I was like 37/38 weeks (Delivery usually at 39 weeks for an elective) - that was my 2nd section though (1st was emergency).

In my experience, the consultant obstetricians seem to prefer sections over vaginal births (I guess they are surgeons so that's their thing) and certainly more than midwives seem to. If you get any push back from midwife, ask to be referred to the obstetrics clinic at whatever hospital you'll have baby at. Explain what you have explained here though and I doubt they'll refuse. Managing your mental health matters and your antenatal health care team will be very aware of that.

I would add that it's not an easier option. Delivery wasn't painful (obviously with spinal) but recovery from sections can be really rough. It's major surgery don't forget except it's the only major surgery that you're expected to be up and about within a matter of hours taking care of a newborn completely sleep deprived - so take that into consideration too.

How awful! I am a mum who had an emergency section and if anyone tried to convince me to have a VBAC I would be the same as the OP.

I also have an irrational fear of another chronic condition flaring up, but I am also a HCP that knows when it flares I would be fine, but that fear alone has kept us as 1 child family as I don't want to put myself through 9 months of anxiety.

OP talk to your midwife team and the mental health midwife, hopefully they can put a plan in place for you.