Talk to me about homebirths - 2nd DC

[Margo34]

I'm still early (16w) so plenty of time to decide, low risk so it's an option, and this is my second DC, first being a (30hr long) labour ward birth with episiotomy and suction.

With childcare to think about this time for the 2yo, I'm seriously considering a home birth. I love the idea of it. I've just no idea how it would work from a practicalities perspective.

Can anyone talk me through what to expect? (Including the clear up afterwards 🙈 )

Bonus points if you can talk me through the practicalities of having a home water birth, too.

TIA!

I did all that.
Didn't feel well enough to use the pool & it nearly overflowed.
Should not have bothered with pool.
We had a Tile floor. DH had to clean it up (he's good with mess, not squeamish).
MW struggled to get colleague to come.
Baby was fine.
There are changing protocols about birthing babies in water, you need up to date info on what MWs expect or want. They don't want baby to take a breath & then hit the water.
Labouring in bath I can recommend, though.

Standing is the best for birthing a baby, at least for me. Just need something to lean on,.

You still need to arrange childcare in case you are transferred to hospital. And you may not want your 2yo there anyway.

My hospital let you borrow inflatable birthing pools, just pay £20 for a liner. I think it took maybe 1-2 hours to inflate and fill...for my first 40 hour labour it sat empty waiting for me for a long time, whereas with my second 5 hour labour I only hopped in for pushing!
My husband dealt with getting if ready and emptying it afterwards and didn't complain about it!

I rang my hospital triage when I was at 3 contractions in 10 and they sent a midwife within 15 min - it was actually my community midwife who I'd seen throughout and it was so reassuring to have her there. Another midwife came a bit later so there were 2 for the birth. I just wandered round the house in my PJs and tens machine until I got in the pool to push.
Afterwards I sat on my sofa and fed my baby and ate toast and drank tea!

I loved my homebirths! Do you have any specific questions?

I had a lovely home birth. It was 16 years ago so some things may have changed but the basics will be the same.
I was told it could be one of four lead midwives who would come, depending on who was on shift, and only one was trained for water births, so we didn’t bother with a pool. As it turned out, the one who was trained came but never mind.
They brought a home birth kit round when I was 37 weeks, so they would have everything they needed. You need to buy a plastic sheet for your bed. One midwife comes first then they get a second round for the later stages.
Once I’d said I was having a home birth, all my midwife appointments and checks (except for scans) were at home.
After the birth they ran me a bath and put me in it, while they cleaned up my bedroom. Then I got out and into my own bed with fresh sheets and matress protectors.
We only lived a few minutes from the hospital so I felt safe if we did need to go in, but fortunately we didn’t. I dropped my oldest off at my mums when I was in early labour and she brought him home a few hours after the birth to meet his baby brother.
Id speak to your midwife but I’d thoroughly recommend it.

@DuchessSilver Hadn't thought that I might not want DC1 around at the time, just assumed they'd be asleep in bed! But of course baby could arrive any time not just at night 🤭

My husband would be here too so he can help with childcare and we will have neighbours and a local friend on standby to watch the 2yo until the grandparents can get here from an hour away if I need to transfer to hospital.

Was there a lot of waiting around by the midwives I guess? I don't know but I feel like I'd need to entertain them as guests as it's in my nature, and wonder if I'd feel more awkward birthing at home than at hospital? If that makes sense?

@TheSausageKingofChicago your experience sounds lovely!

My 2nd was born at home 22yrs ago - yikes! Planned but the birth wasn't straightforward and because of the lack of monitoring, the MW didn't know what was happening. Apparently, he would have been a CSec if I'd been in hospital.

But he turned up eventually, looked rather odd, but turned up!

I birthed him in bed and the midwives, XH and DM did all the clearing up whilst I had a bath. I went from the bath to a nice clean bed with my funny looking beautiful son.

I've had two home births, but I labour very fast, so not really any hanging around. We bought a pack of very cheap plastic decorating sheets to cover floors and furnishings. The midwives cleaned everything up and took it away.

Midwives will provide a list of things you need. Top of which is biscuits and tea for them

I found it mush calmer than hopsital.

First was a home-birth, laid plastic sheets everywhere, topped with old bedsheets/cloths, and then had the pads from home-birth kit too. All I had at hand was my birthing ball. Called midwife's once contraction came regularly, they'd already left a birthing kit a few weeks before. Had no idea who the midwives were but they were lovely. Had one who stayed till I hit toward transition then had another come and 2 students (they'd asked my permission). I didn't have space for a pool but wish I did as I had a back to back baby and labour was 22 hours. Clean up was super quick, literally rolled up the floor things and in bin bags (done by then time I had a 5 minute shower), could never tell a baby had been born. Overall it was painful but lovely, would have been painful in hospital too and I'd have been more panicky and pushed for forceps as baby took so long to turn back around again. Before he turned back to back though her contractions were a breeze 😅

Midwife also filled my tub for me so I can get some relief and it did nothing as it was too narrow and hurt my knees sitting on the hard ceramic floor, I was also 7cm by then so I didn't even last a few minutes in it till I wanted to be out again.

This was a few years ago so still similar protocol. The only downside was I didn't get much breastfeeding support but baby was born at shift change so the midwives were shattered from staying with me all night. Ended up getting support from the hospital a few days in and all was well.

I had a HB 9yos ago. Never fancied water.

My original plan was to just have the midwives with me while my mum looked after DD (18months) in the house elsewhere, but a neighbour found out and took her (same age son). DH was out of the country with the Army.

First midwife came to check on me, second was called straight away as my first birth was quick. 2nd brought a student with her (I was asked first- they need to do homebirths but they can be hard to fit in apparently) We did just sit around drinking tea and eating biscuits for a few hours. Then it ramped up (I go twinges to full on birth very suddenly). They helped me shower and change sheets, taking away the mess. I had gas and air available (tanks dropped round in advance, they just bring mouthpiece on day) but just used it for stitches afterwards and didn't like it.

Best bit... my mum went and got DD1 an hour after the birth and the three of us got snuggles together. She was enthralled with her Baby from that moment.

I recommend it but do have a childcare plan unless you don't mind not having a birth partner. Even just for the actual final stages.

Good luck.

My homebirths are. 19 (next week) 21 and almost 23 years ago.

Dd2. Was a 7 hour labour she was born at home on the bedroom floor with a student midwife present who bawled her eyes out when ds was born.. (was her first natural birth as all others she had been to had ended up with complications)

I remember laughter fun sh holding my hand and counting the contractions with me. My leaning against him as I was pushing her out. Dd2s birth was without a doubt the most amazing experience of my life. When she was born I turned and said to dh "I want to do that again" I felt on top of the world and like I had done the most amazing thing ever.. midwifes cleaned up and after 2 hours best friend arrived with dd1 who was utterly uninterested in her sibling.. bf and I sat on my bed drinking tea with her holding dd2 (dd1 later did get interested in dd2 and at age 22 and 24 they are close) this labour was 7 hours from start to finish.

Ds is almost 21 years ago. My waters were leaking. Drippi f and contractions came on and off I went through 3 sets of midwife shifts. A friend was with us too. I can recall sitting on the ball a lot. And I had hired a birthing stool. At home things were nice and pleasant and I felt safe but labour did not progress so after 24 hours I transfered to hospital. The actual.transfer was good but the consultant was appalled I had transfered due to the water leaking so long not due to my wanting to speed up labour . This birth ended up a huge battle and we submitted a 11 page complaint at the end. Ds was born naturally and we now know had we agreed to speed up labour he would have been a crash c sec . I had a very supportive 1st birth at hospital so I am not dishing hospital births. This birth was mismanaged. Including some notes that claimed stuff that had never happened. This labour was 31 hours from first leaking to his arrival

Dd3. I was adamant she would be born at home. Ds birth had been traumatic and I needed. Birth debriefing. I longed for a birth like dd2. But it qas not fully to be. Dd3. Was born at home and the midwives were very respectful of my birth plan. Supported it and went with what I wanted (hands off approach) she took a long time to do much. They were encouraging me to get out of the birthing pool. Saying she was too comfortable in there. Then said I could always go back in to. Birth her. So I agreed. I can recall clinging on to dh and my friend who was there to get out and being unable to talk (I cant when I hit pushing stage) feeling rather out of control. Then sunk to the floor and dd3 was out in 2 pushes. I had asked to not be told the sex and I can recall looking down as dd3 was born. Seeing dd1 and 2 holding hands watching (they were almost 6 and 4) ds was watching toystory in the lounge..(age 2) and then saying "oh it's a girl " someone joked she had waited for my named midwife to arrive and I said "what took you so long' people laughed. Dh called my friend after he had spoken to mil and she vecame the 2nd person to know before my mum and dad even
Dh made everyone bacon sandwiches I sat in a chair having been cleaned up and held dd3. The midwifes cleaned up most of the stuff (not pool off course) took 14 hours total

And then we were left alone.

I have never got to experience the high of dd2s birth again it was a undescribeable. Experience. The homebirth part of ds birth was good and supportive as was the transfer. The hospital part was not good. Dd3s birth was a positive experience but oh so different from dd2s.

I have never regretted homebirthing. Not even the transfer I felt heard supported and the feeling after of snuggling up in your own bed with your own stuff around is amazing. I do not regret dd 1 and 2 seeing ds3s birth though this was not planned. Dd2 has no recollection of it dd1 can recall her being grey with weird white stuff on her and the bacon sandwich 😄

Dh preferred the homebirths as he felt more involved. He also preferred the 2 births we had a friend present for. So did I actually. There was something comforting in having a friend on my side.

I loved mine. My first birth in hospital required quite a bit of intervention but DS2 was a calm, peaceful experience.

The crucial factor is the transfer time to hospital if things go wrong - severe fetal distress, cord prolapse or maternal haemorrhage.
How far away are you from your nearest hospital obstetric unit? What is the current ambulance waiting time? And transfer time - possibly during rush hour?
Emergencies in labour are not predictable. My own second baby would have died as a home birth, despite being a full term eight pounder with a short, drug free, normal labour.
She arrived with an Apgar score of just one, barely a heartbeat, apnoeic and having multi focal fits. Her survival unscathed required a paediatric crash team, immediate intracardiac adrenaline injection, three different anticonvulsants, intubation, ventilation, and a week in intensive care.
None of which are available within four minutes at home.

I was told ‘there isn’t much mess’. Such a lie!! My room was covered in bodily fluids, as I was walking around so much trying to expel placenta. DH managed to clear up though.

Birth pool is brilliant for pain relief in early labour but I’m not sure I’d have one again, I got a post-birth infection and I do wonder if it was from the pool water. The company said it would arrive clean but in retrospect I wish I’d cleaned it myself as well! My labour failed to progress properly until I got out of the pool, I think it slows labour.

I was told by NCT to stand/squat, not lie down. All very well until you’re exhausted. I would have killed for a bed! Ended up giving birth uncomfortably on a floor mat while struggling to support myself. Would have loved a waterproof bed with a raised end.

You won’t want your child there, you do need childcare especially as you may need to suddenly transfer to hospital for eg stiches. Children ask lots questions and can be mind-bogglingly selfish! You don’t need to be arguing with a toddler while trying to relax and deliver.

Best thing about home birth is being able to labour at home, and being in charge without bossy strangers. Want a snack? Go to pantry and have a snack, you don’t have to beg people to get stuff for you.

Honestly I’m not sure I’d have one again. I did have to transfer to hospital after the birth and feel very lucky it wasn’t the kind of situation described by @Babdoc.

My second was a home birth. Heaven compared with my first (34h with forceps). And the pain was nothing like as bad as I expected. Only had tens machine (on 1/3rd strength) and gas and air.

Shower liners! (not shower curtains). Lay them out anywhere you think you're likely to labour.

Didn't have a pool but I understand plenty of extra towels are needed.

Apologies haven't RTFT so I'm sure I'm repeating. Both mine were born at home in water. Was amazing both times! My youngest is 10 so please take what I say with a pinch of rose tinted hindsight 😁

The pool makes clear up easier as it's all contained in a liner. My DH does tell a tale of the water pump (that you use to pump out the water afterwards) getting clogged with 'matter' 🤢, but as I say every time he does, I birthed a whole person from my vagina so I really don't care!!

The pool itself was relatively easy to set up - inflate it, fill it with water using a thermometer to check the temperature. That's it. Both times I found it gave DH something to do which was good for him as he's very practical.

Best bit was afterwards being able to get into my own bed.

I had a lovely homebieth with my 2nd. I said at booking in that I was interested and the community midwife was so supportive, and i was very lucky she was on call that day.
My eldest was at school so my grandparents picked her up and took her to macdonalds.
After my birth I got in the bath, husband made tea, midwives cleaned up and even put the washing machine on, then I got back into a nice fresh bed with my brand new baby. Perfect

I had an unplanned home birth but it was actually perfect.
I’d had back ache and cramps through the day so I had a bath in the evening which seemed to ease things for an hour or so but then they started up again so I went back to the bathroom as I felt pretty uncomfortable. I was sat on the toilet for about half an hour feeling like I had a stomach bug but nothing was happening so I called my midwife who told me that wasn’t a stomach bug, that was labour!
DH got everything ready to go to the hospital then I stood up and just knew I couldn’t get to the car. DH looked slightly concerned when I said this but laid some towels out on the bathroom floor and called the midwife again while I got myself comfortable. It wasn’t at all what we’d planned but I felt really calm, even when I started needing to push about 10 minutes later.
The midwife did arrive in time and DS was born after just over an hour of pushing, I was crouched on the floor leaning against the bath.
I had another bath afterwards and DH put the towels in the wash, then I was in bed with my baby.
No complications, very grateful.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do 😘

Ahhhh thank you all for sharing your stories of homebirth, the pros and the cons! So many of your stories sound so lovely, I think the idea of snuggling with a very newborn in the comfort of my own home and bed is very appealing.

Thank you @Babdoc for your very key questions, definitely some things I will look in to and have a good think about. I have just checked out the local ambulance service call out targets now you raised that very good point and the quickest response time for top priority category here is average of 7mins with most coming in under 15mins. My DC1 also spent 5 days in NICU but without the same immediacy as your second born (after failed Obs) so I know the worry and helplessness of that experience and it does play on my mind if I was to go for a home birth. Questions to ask at my next MW appt.

Sorry to spoil the vibe, but at the moment people having heart attacks are waiting over an hour for an ambulance. Have any sort of complication at home and you won't have a speedy transfer to hospital. That delay could be the difference between healthy baby and brain damaged for life baby.

And even if the response time is 7 minute, that's 3 minutes to get through to a 999 operator, maybe 5 minutes to tell them the problem and them call the ambulance, so 15 minutes from picking up the phone to the ambulance being at your door. Another 10-15 for them to load you in plus the journey.

Anything going on that blocks oxygen, you've got about 3 minutes before irreversible brain damage.

Agreed that distance/time to hospital should be the most important thing to consider. My HB was recent and my midwife said we'd most likely be better off driving ourselves there in an emergency. But we're quite rural and the hospital isn't too far inside the nearest city.

The hospital distance does concern me tbh, we are an hour from nearest hospital and our ambulance response times are absolutely shocking.
But the midwife doesn't seem concerned about it and I reckon my DP would end up driving if we had to but it depends on what the problem is I guess

Homebirth 2 years ago. 4hrs from first contraction.

I had both my DC in bed they didn’t wake until the very last 5 mins. I did transfer for stitches but that was due to crappy lighting in my house so midwives couldn’t get a good look so a good torch will be on the list for my next one as transfer could have been completely avoided. Was done and home again in an hour.

Clean up wise it was super quick. Midwives and husband literally rolled everything up (towels and shower liners into black bags and it was back to normal in no time.

In terms of equipment, you will have almost an identical set up at home as in an MLU. Suction machine that needs to be plugged in continuously. Full resus equipment with oxygen. And tons of other stuff.

I loved having the security of two midwives being there solely for me and baby. Have a look at the official homebirth stats for overall safety breakdown.
Although my stats are NI based I imagine it will be around the same across the UK. I think most people would be surprised to see just how better women do at home.

It’s not quite call the midwife and they turn up with just a bag.

This is the some of the equipment, the midwives had extra stuff when they arrived also.