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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Hidden pregnancy

37 replies

Worried5432 · 01/08/2022 01:50

Soo… I’m basically full term. No scan. No help no intervention. I literally thought this pregnancy wouldn’t make it the whole time after loosing babies left right and Center. I shit myself and just hid. Now it’s too late to ask for help. What do I do? Go into labour naturally or walk into a labour ward and cry. My partner of 10 years has no idea. My son who’s 7 doesn’t either. I appreciate this is crazy but to me I don’t carry big. My partner is a massive stress head and after loosing 5 pregnancies 3 traumaticly I resisted saying anything because I want to protect him. I’ve literally carried on regardless but now obviously shitting myself . Please don’t judge

I’ll add my first was a section at 36 weeks. I have no actual experience of labour. I lost all water and was admitted for a section.i appreciate I’m stupid. Crazy and unbelievably up a creek without a paddle. My relationship is probably on the line because I’ve tried to protect the very same thing. Im

OP posts:
TheRookie · 01/08/2022 01:56

Wow what a story op, I think you need to swallow your pride, and go to labour ward/pregnancy unit and explain everything. Previous section means you are high risk for vaginal birth so the sooner you confess and get checked, the better for you and baby.

Are you ok? Can you tell your husband or even a friend for support first until you are comfortable.

PleaseGoDontGoAgain · 01/08/2022 02:16

You ring the ward and explain it, if you are in labour then you go.
Your relationship being in trouble can be dealt with later by telling him to deal with it

GordonBennetttt · 01/08/2022 03:17

Hope you're ok Flowers
Can you feel baby moving etc? I'd start by telling your partner, then ring the doctors asap and ask for an emergency appointment, even a telephone appointment just to get the ball rolling.
Hope everything turns out well for you.

Original poster
Worried5432 · 01/08/2022 03:29

Wriggling like a trooper. I feel fine genuinely. In fact I think hiding it has made me carry on regardless and not moan about backache bla bla. I felt happy and not constantly panicked about what will happen this time for being so quiet about it but now I realise that obviously I can’t hide a birth 🤦🏼‍♀️ Prep wise we have everything just not prepared. There’s room. We’re financially stable (luckily in this climate) I know we’ll be fine as a family unit. I guess I’m panicking more for going into labour with someone who has no idea more than anything.

OP posts:
Rainallnight · 01/08/2022 03:35

Please get medical help, OP. Any healthcare professional would just be happy that you were, no matter what stage you were at. You could start with the GP. Can you ring tomorrow?

My son’s birth mother (we adopted him) concealed her pregnancy because she didn’t want SS finding out, tried to give birth at home and ended up in a very traumatic situation. You don’t want that for you, or anyone in your family.

Babyboomtastic · 01/08/2022 03:49

I'm confused. Does your nearly teenage daughter know? And there's also a toddler seemingly...

I'm assuming the situation is a lot more complicated than you've told us so far ...

Original poster
Worried5432 · 01/08/2022 04:01

I think you’ve replied to the wrong thread! No teenage daughter and I can 100% assure you my partner of over 10 years is loving and caring. He has a stressful job. I have a history of mental health issues of which are under control (mainly related to baby loss) hence the fact I’ve most certainly spent 9 months refusing to accept I’m going to actually give birth.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worried5432 · 01/08/2022 04:12

I need to stress the fact I’m not hiding because I’m scared of my family situation. I know we’ll be fine. This baby will be welcomed with open arms. I’ve basically hidden this pregnancy from myself because I refuse to admit it. As stupid as it sounds I refused to believe I’d make it after several losses. And to people who say you can’t hide being pregnant my mum lives around the corner and sees me daily! I carried small with my first. I guess I’m lucky. I sleep naked in bed next to my partner every night. We’re not intimate daily although still at least weekly 😊 I guess he just thinks I love food 😂

OP posts:
AfricanGal · 01/08/2022 04:22

There are some women who choose not to have intervention of any type with their pregnancies. That includes scans etc medical examinations. So the medical professionals will have seen or heard it all before. Pls just call the GP and get the ball rolling and once you explain to your partner what your mindset was, am sure all will fall into place.

azimuth299 · 01/08/2022 04:22

Well congratulations OP. It's going to be hard but you will feel so relieved when you've told someone. Tell whoever feels easiest first. I think I'd phone the maternity unit as there wouldn't be so many strong emotions linked with disclosing the pregnancy with a midwife. Then you can come home and say "I've suspected for quite a while but now it's been confirmed that I'm x weeks pregnant."

It sounds like you've had a really rough time of it, please do accept any help offered to you. You don't have to carry this worry alone now 💐

Yummymummy2020 · 01/08/2022 04:28

Don’t panic op! It’s totally understandable why you have not wanted to face up to the pregnancy, of course you didn’t want to risk even more heartache by accepting the situation. I would be the same I think. Don’t worry about letting the maternity unit know, they will be glad to see you. Congrats on the baby, and I wish you well with your upcoming birth, you will be so glad to have told people that can support you through the final leg of the pregnancy!

ChrissyWakeUp11 · 01/08/2022 04:41

How pregnant do you think you could be? Antenatal care in the UK is not compulsory and some women do opt out, as is their right but concealed pregnancies are different and you might find you’re referred to children’s services. The best thing you can do now is be honest with everyone and accept the support you’re offered.

ChrissyWakeUp11 · 01/08/2022 04:43

Just to add to my post, I’m not saying this to worry or upset you! I think if you’re honest with professionals about what you’ve been through and how you’ve felt you’ll find they want to support you. Wishing you all the luck in the world for your impending arrival.

BlodynGwyn · 01/08/2022 05:03

Congratulations and well done. Now turn yourself over to the medical people so you can have a safe birth. Because you had a C Section before, VBAC is risky. A uterus may rupture during labour - depending where the first incision is. ( I was told this when I tried to have a VBAC).

I knew a woman who didn't tell anyone she was pregnant and showed up at our tiny rural hospital in labour. Everything went fine, although the doctor was cross he wasn't given the heads up. The baby is married himself now with children.

Your family will be excited and happy to have a new addition.

Palg68 · 01/08/2022 05:07

It's not too late OP. Contact your GP ASAP explain and have a scan. You need to look after yourself.

Eek3under3 · 01/08/2022 06:00

As someone who was also traumatised by baby loss, I get you. I am 37 weeks now and totally in denial. I just about packed a hospital bag yesterday. Due to your previous section, you really need to talk to someone before you go into labour. I would go to your local MAU and explain everything. They will totally understand and take care of you.

bubblescoop · 01/08/2022 06:14

As I said before, please do seek help. It is not too late and it’s the safest thing for your and your baby.

NCgoingdry · 01/08/2022 06:28

Probably an unpopular opinion but can't you just act like you didn't know?! If you're not showing and had "no symptoms" can you just suddenly get "heartburn" or miss a period, suggest the idea to your partner and do a test - oh look I'm pregnant. Book a private scan and find out how far along you are.

HammerToFall · 01/08/2022 06:36

I work on labour ward. We see this all the time you’d be surprised. Firstly you need to be Brooked So that they can create a fetal
pathway and get your notes as they are probably files away at a library. Ring
your community midwives ana explain and they will take it from there.

good luck!

Whoatealltheminieggs · 01/08/2022 06:44

Having not long had a baby I can tell you they don’t do that much anyway even if you do get the ‘proper’ care. I don’t think anyone will bat an eyelid

TriciaMcMillan · 01/08/2022 06:46

I think the previous poster is confused because on your other threads there are different children...

cantcomplainabouttheweather · 01/08/2022 06:48

Concealing a pregnancy will get you all sorts of social services referral especially given a history of mental health issues. You need to get yourself seen sooner rather than later and explain your reasoning

exnewwifeproblems · 01/08/2022 06:59

You need to go to the gp and get case asap.

slashlover · 01/08/2022 07:00

TriciaMcMillan · 01/08/2022 06:46

I think the previous poster is confused because on your other threads there are different children...

This is the only thread under this username. Why do you think OP has NCed?

loislovesstewie · 01/08/2022 07:00

To ask a stupid question; aren't people noticing that you are pregnant? Unless you are very lucky most women have a bump, get bigger boobs ( mine turned a corner about 5 minutes before the rest of me, so it was fairly obvious) , did you have no morning sickness, food cravings , no other signs of pregnancy? I just find it hard to believe that my DH, who could be fairly obtuse, wouldn't have noticed and got me to contact the GP. Has no-one questioned you about the happy event?

And please make contact with your GP today.