Prolapse at 27 after quick birth

[Mboor]

I am 27 years and I had a traumatic birth. Ended up with baby clavicle broken and me with a prolapse. I lost the hope to live and do anything. It has been three months since birth and for three months I haven’t left mums house or go back to my husband. I am hiding in my mum’s house. I am scared. I gave up.
I was so happy and I had the best life and best career. I was so confident. Now I have anxiety leaving my mum house or doing anything.
my mum gave birth to 6 kids and she’s fine and healthy.
my husband cannot wait for me and for intimacy. What can I tell him ? My inside fell out. We are so young. We just started a family. How am I going to survive this. I am 27. I cannot do it. There are many and many years ahead.
all my inside feels like about to fall out. I have cystocole. I have rectal pressure and I feel like I cannot poop and something comes out when I poo. I am bleeding from my back passage. My perineum is so short and cannot support me anymore. I went Gp and got dismissed. but after many crying etc they referred me.
I want to enjoy my newborn.
we meant to move to new house next week with my husband. How can I move to a Newhouse when I cannot even carry a car seat.
i am waiting for my referral and physio but is this my life now ? Please anyone went through this at young age.

I am so sorry. The way you've have been treated is horrendous, you should have been referred postnatally by the maternity services. How old is your LO?

This isn't your life now. There are solutions. Please try and hang in there until your appointments come through. X

I obsessively read every prolapse thread. I joined FPOP in Facebook and read everything. I read all articles in Google. I done my kegels.
I forced my Gp to refer me to physio, urogynr and colorectal surgeons.
what else I should do. How can I survive this ,?

Sorry I just noticed you said 3 months ago x

its Okay ❤️
anyone had similar experience. Anyone can reassure me there is hope at the end of the tunnel. How can I survive this. Can I have my life back , my marriage, happiness, career, social life, confidence. Please tell me the truth so I can grief this now :(

Can I ask you what is it in particular that is really getting you down?

I have broken vagina and I have prolapse. My vagina is so loose and there is a bulge that’s gonna come out. I feel like my inside about to fall out. I have big fanny gape and you can see everything inside. I have no perieum to
cover my vagina opening.
I cannot poop and I bleed from my anus and it feels there is something stuck in my anus. All I think about for past three months is trying to empty my bowels. When I go to the loo I cannot empty everything.
:(

That sounds very uncomfortable and it is good that you are going to have an assessment by the he women's health physio. They are the experts in this .
Some of what you describe is common in the first 6 -12 months after being pregnant so there is still time for at least some natural resolution. If exercises and time are in sufficient then surgery works well. It sounds as if it is making you depressed.Have you discussed that with your Dr or HV?

See your GP so he can help you with pain management , and make sure that you have no further damage to promote healing. ( loose stool at every turn). There is hope at the tunnel OP. It take lots of patience.

Sorry no idea why the letters went big !

I'm so sorry about your experience and your feelings are completely valid.

I had awful damage, I also have a rectocele, near non existent perineum and torn uretha.

The mental and physical trauma has been horrific. I still battle daily with my mental health nearly 4 years on, but I got great physical care.

Women's health physio was absolutely life changing. I credit that woman to keeping me continent and having confidence to poop normally. I use something called a qufora to support if I get too much pressure. I also use suppositories if I feel a bit constipated and take my time with feet on a stool.

Do your pelvic floors, alrhough until I saw womens health physio I actually hadn't done them well/effectively. My physio got me to pay for the NHS squeezy app which is good.

Ask for a referral to the physio, even if not available locally. Refer to surgeons too, as surgery was an option for me too. Get your mum to do some of that fighting for you if needed as it is so exhausting.

Speak to your husband and be honest you might need some trauma counselling and referral to mental health services which your GP can do. You can self refer to IAPT (Google it)

It's a tough journey, one I'm still struggling with, but I feel better in my physical health, sex took a long time to get back to, I was scared and grateful my husband was patient. Took a few attempts to feel a bit better.

Sending you lots of love

If you have the money, maybe pay for a session or 2 with a private women's health physio? She'll be able to give you some suggestions. It's hard to be positive but things can get better.

I know this isn't what you want to hear but I'm nine months into private women's physio and it's really finally paying off. You shouldn't have been dismissed but equally it does take time and kegels are not the only answer by far (or even the right thing to do for some injuries)

Sorry OP that you are feeling like this. You have my deepest sympathy.

I am in the same boat, although about 2 months behind you. I had a baby about a month ago with forceps/episiotomy which took about 2 weeks to recover from and then I noticed something else wasn’t right. I definitely have a prolapse, probably two types if I have diagnosed myself correctly from Dr Google. I will find out for sure tomorrow as I have a GP’s appointment.

ive spent the last week in tears. I now have constipation issues which I never had before. I’ve every type of laxative/stool softener because I have the same feeling of not being able to go and then when I go, I don’t feel like I’ve really gone fully. I am sure this is a rectocele.

yesterday, I took a proper look with a torch and mirror to see what I could see. I think my prolapse is even worse than what I thought. Sorry that I don’t have any advice. Just wanted to say thst you are not alone. I’ve also read and joined all the support groups, etc.

everyone seems to strongly suggest a woman’s pelvic floor physio. I’ve just bit the bullet and booked a private appointment £90 in mid-August. Was the first appointment I could get. I feel slightly better for having something booked.

it’s horrible. I’m also trying to shift my baby weight and extra poundage to take the pressure off my pelvic floor. The diet starts in earnest tomorrow.

as for sex, I can’t even imagine this for now.

Honestly it usually gets much better. I had 3 prolapses - bladder, bowel and uterus. They've all healed up to a great extent and I don't even notice them much anymore. I felt like you at 3 months post partum but a lot of it is to do with hormones. After birth you have a hormone called Relaxin that makes everything floppy. Also if you're breast feeding it leads to low oestrogen which also makes prolapses worse. I noticed a huge improvement when I stopped breast feeding at 11 months. It can take a year or even 2 years to heal. Please don't panic at 3 months. You'll feel much better as time passes.

Thank you for your replies. I think I am going crazy. For the past three months all I done is Google prolapses. I haven’t been on Instagram or TikTok’s or watched a movie or being out. I think this is the worst thing that can happen to a woman.
I never ever been health conscious or cared about anything. I never had anxiety or mental illness. I cannot process what I am feeling or my thoughts. My mind and body is in utter shock :(
I feel this has broke me and shifted my life. I thought I am strong.
WHY NO ONE TOLd me about prolapse. Why did I hear about it after it happened to me :(

@Kabuki please update me when you see the gp tomorrow!

The worst thing is not feeeling broken. The worst thing is feeling your body is on edge. Like any second or any wrong move, your inside can pop out. So I cannot travel, carry suitcases, carry my baby, go funfair rides, enjoy my marriage, go gym, clean my house, live my LIFE.
Do I just wait for menopause? Do i just stay at home? What did you do to survive this? I read physio is not helpful for everyone! I read surgery has high fail rate and Gp said no chance at my age 😰

Ok, don't panic. 50% of women experience prolapses. It's very common. It definitely gets better in time. Things slowly go back after birth, and improvement continues for at least 2 years and after you stop breastfeeding.

You absolutely MUST see a specialist woman's health physio. GPS are not experts in this area and their knowledge is often not up to date.

If you can't get referred on the NHS then please prioritise this to find a way to pay for a private woman's physio. They will assess you and prescribe specific exercises. There are non surgical options - lots of different pessaries that can be worn to improve symptoms. It can be helpful for women to wear these as their body recovers for a couple of years after birth. As the tendons etc tighten up again, they hold the organs in a natural position. Then you might not need to wear a pessary anymore. Or you might only wear it for sport / days of heavy lifting.

OP, I'm so sorry that you are suffering so terribly. I had a traumatic birth 10 months ago and was severely injured, so I understand what you are feeling. Don't lose hope! It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel now but I promise you things will get better. Here's my advice:

1. DON'T google prolapses. It can get really dark really fast. None of the info will help you. You'll only know the true state of things when you are assessed by a medical professional.


2. DON'T look at it! There's no point and you'll only make yourself more upset.


3. Focus as much energy as you can on your baby. I know it's not easy when you feel so physically and emotionally traumatized but I found that my baby lifted my spirits.


4. Rest. Don't push yourself physically. Let those tissues knit back together.


5. Focus the rest of your energy on getting the care you need. You need help from specialists. It sounds like you should see a urogynecologist and a colorectal surgeon. They can assess the state of the repair you've been given. If your perenium is too short, they can repair that. The colorectal surgeon can figure out what's going on when you poop. Yes, repairs can fail, but women get them every day and are fine. Plenty of women on mumsnet can attest to that. Also, you must see a women's physio. Mine was a godsend. She was able to tell me what the state of things was and what I could expect going forward. From my first visit, I started feeling better mentally and physically. Finally, you should seek mental health assistance. You have every right to be angry and traumatized. And don't let anyone give you that crap about "baby blues." You need support from professionals who know about birth trauma. I was also SO angry that no one talked about prolapses (or injuries from vaginal birth in general) when I was pregnant. I've come out of this experience angry at the state of women's healthcare.


6. Three months is too early to know what physical issues may or may not be permanent. Your hormones have not returned to normal yet and you need your estrogen back to heal internally. I felt like my guts were falling out until I had my first period and then, little by little, it improved every month. I've had seven cycles since then and I now feel normal. The physio and urogyn say I have no more prolapse. And you are ten years younger than I am, so you've got good hormones!

Take heart and don't despair!!! Fight for the care you need. You will get through this ❤

OP - you're not broken! You need to calm down. As a PP said 50% of women have this. We're not all sitting at home letting life pass us by. You need to let time pass and it will heal a lot. Seeing a pelvic floor physio will help a lot but to be honest mine pretty much healed through time. It's hormones - as relaxin gradually leaves your body and your oestrogen levels rise (after you finish breasts feeding) you'll feel a huge improvement. My life's completely normal now (and I had 3 pretty bad prolapses). I have a normal sex life, lift heavy things etc. I guarantee you won't be feeling this way in a year's time.

@Mboor
i saw my GP this morning who confirmed I have both a rectocele and cystocele, both moderate. She essentially told me to give it some time for my post partum hormones to settle before I started panicking living with this discomfort/constipation was a forever thing. It is possible that things will readjust, lift up with time/pelvic floor exercises. We will see….but I’m trying to be positive.

She has also referred me to a nHS gynaecologist and NHS women’s pelvic floor physio but advised that there are some significant wait times. At least I have my private women’s pelvic physio booked for August. So I’ve decided not to panic because the past two weeks were so dark, I just can’t live like that. Better to get diagnosed and try and see if I can fix it.

I am so heartened by some of the other posters on this thread, particularly the lady who said stop looking at Dr Google. Absolutely. Great advice. And not to look down below. Am doing this. I’ll also be monitoring all threads on prolapse though in case any other mumsnetters have wise tips/advice.

Go private. I went thought the same as you - you will be dismissed and put off at many corners of the NHS. It’s not good enough from the NHS.

it WILL improve. Mine really did. Are you breastfeeding? Mine almost disappeared at 12 months once I’d stopped feeding. It was incredible. I also saw a womens physio privately, as well as a Urogynaecologist (mark slack). You have surgery options of course you do, but you need to be the best you can be before looking at surgery. Plus additional kids can undo surgery.

I did weekly Pilates 1:1 privately. I got myself built up. It took ages for the sick feeling of fear to go away. I completely understand how you feel. It is the pits, the absolute pits. it’ll get better, honestly it does.

at about six months I had managed to mentally put some of the north trauma behind me (forceps, episiotomy, prolapse) it was all so terrifying and I was left for two hours with his head stuck because the theatres were under pressure and they were taking it my the most babies at risk - so my body was in final stage pushing for almost three hours while we waited with me in absolute agony with my son in the wrong positions and stuck. He waS then whipped out on the table but the damage was well done to my body.

i don’t think Google is the enemy. You need to know what you need and you need to push the NHS for it, in my particularly horrible experience.

I agree with @Twooforjoy. Go private if you can to get the care you need. And by all means, research healthcare providers online but don't bother reading about prolapses in general. It can become a compulsive behavior. I know the panic and despair you are feeling. Of course, you are searching for answers about what happened to you and what you can expect in the future but you won't find them in other people's stories. That's their story, not yours. Only a healthcare professional can provide you with information that is specific to your circumstances. You can drive yourself nuts reading about it. My husband said I was like Victor Meldrew with his medical dictionary. The fact is that prolapses are common and CAN heal. And if not there are medical interventions that can help you. Mine basically healed on its own through hormones. I was pumping because my son never latched anyway (due, I'm sure, to the traumatic circumstances of his birth) so after 3 months I put him on formula. My period returned a few weeks later and it improved from there on out.

Mine basically healed on its own through hormones. I was pumping because my son never latched anyway (due, I'm sure, to the traumatic circumstances of his birth) so after 3 months I put him on formula. My period returned a few weeks later and it improved from there on out.

I had a very similar experience. I don’t know what to attribute to the huge improvement suddenly but my guess is hormones once I stopped feeding. I now feel something very slight/low pressure around the time of my period, but the other weeks I when no issues now. Remarkable!

this might sound a bit hippy dippy, but I was in such a rage and hating my body below the waist, raging about my future, and the Women’s physio noted feeling something - scar tissue or something - and I had replied along the lines of “I don’t know, I’d never touch down there” - like it wasn’t part of me and it disgusted me. She too a bit of time to tell me, my head has to connect with my body to get it to heal. i suddenly felt sad. I was beefing myself up so much. I can’t even articulate it, but it made sense. I’d been practically disowning that part of my body. She was right. I had put my pelvis in the bin, dismissed it, hating on it. Something also shifted that day in my mind. I remember I walked home, unheard of! - after being unable to walk for any length up until then.

sorry OP for the derail. It’s a really tough time. I honestly get it.

*beating myself up, not beefing! Sorry!

Oh my goodness it’s so hard isn’t it. It’s such a shit feeling especially when men and intimacy are so closely linked.

Just to share my story for context, I had quite moderate incontinence initially with poo and gas which has got a bit better. I have a bit longer to get to the loo and can control gas a little better but can’t feel anything when I’m actually passing poo if that make sense. Not sure if I have prolapse as I haven’t even looked, you’re so fucking brave! I always tell DP to date someone else if he wants. It’s been 4 months, we tried to have sex a few weeks ago and I can’t feel anything at all down there. Terrified and in such denial. I just don’t have the energy mentally to get it looked at and I’m not in the right place yet to have a breakdown in front of the GP just yet 😅

Sending so much love. I know a lot of people have pointed out you have a lot to be positive about but as women and especially young women, so much of our value is linked to what we can offer sexually to our partner. I’m really not sure what to say other than you should definitely get the ball rolling with things medic wise and time I guess. Love you lots xxx