Prolapse at 27 after quick birth

[Mboor]

I am 27 years and I had a traumatic birth. Ended up with baby clavicle broken and me with a prolapse. I lost the hope to live and do anything. It has been three months since birth and for three months I haven’t left mums house or go back to my husband. I am hiding in my mum’s house. I am scared. I gave up.
I was so happy and I had the best life and best career. I was so confident. Now I have anxiety leaving my mum house or doing anything.
my mum gave birth to 6 kids and she’s fine and healthy.
my husband cannot wait for me and for intimacy. What can I tell him ? My inside fell out. We are so young. We just started a family. How am I going to survive this. I am 27. I cannot do it. There are many and many years ahead.
all my inside feels like about to fall out. I have cystocole. I have rectal pressure and I feel like I cannot poop and something comes out when I poo. I am bleeding from my back passage. My perineum is so short and cannot support me anymore. I went Gp and got dismissed. but after many crying etc they referred me.
I want to enjoy my newborn.
we meant to move to new house next week with my husband. How can I move to a Newhouse when I cannot even carry a car seat.
i am waiting for my referral and physio but is this my life now ? Please anyone went through this at young age.

Also sorry just to add like you I’ve never had any real medical issues before which just makes it even harder I think to process xxx

@Twooforjoy @Lulu1027 thank you sincerely for both your posts. Such sage and calming advice.
By just being calmer and accepting it will take some time to see if I can make any improvement, I feel like today I’m noticing the prolapses less; although truthfully I keep checking in subconsciously (or consciously) to see do I still have that strange feeling down below - which I do. But I feel more positive mentally. Of course, I also have the lurking constipation issue thsnks to the rectocele so it’s a bit of a constant reminder that something is not right. however, I am not crying and weeping as I was all last week upon discovery of these blasted things.

I will book in with a private gynaecologist. I am also breastfeeding. Ideally, I’d like to bf until 9 months or so. I will be praying that my hormones surge when I stop, although I am an older mother so I hope I’m not too perimenopausal. Really, really want to return to my normal self and I will never take my health or pelvic floor for granted ever again.

@xxcatcatcatxx sending sympathy. I’ve only looked once down below with a torch and mirror and I won’t be doing it for months…or at least until I have mastered pelvic floor exercises. And, as for sex, this is a long way off for me. That is certainly what it feels like for me now. I am lucky that I have a very supportive partner. Normally, I’d keep something like this to myself (not very healthy I know) but I found this all so traumatic that I had to share it with him. Not all the details but most of them. It makes it easier for me thst he understands what I am going through. He has also ordered me to stop researching prolapses on Google. Do go and get checked out by a GP. I went this morning and feel better for knowing what I have (so I can also research them later 🙈). You also sound much younger then me so hopefully that’s on your side.

I completely sympathise with you, I feel like my GP was dismissive as well.
I had 2 small babies with fast ish deliveries and I too have a rectocele (self diagnosed as used to be a urogynae secretary so I do have experience in this area!). After I had my first child (5 years ago) I thought I was horribly constipated but soon realised I had to push externally on the perineum. I have thought about surgery but didn't see how I could ideally not lift etc..with 2 young babies. Now I manage my fibre intake and 9 out of 10 times when I poo I have to externally help things along. It's gross but doable. I also think it will worsen as I age so will rethink surgery at that point. I think each prolapse is different but if it's traumatising you and you feel it's affecting your life then put pressure on the GP. Good luck

@xxcatcatcatxx sending you lots of love :(. Your story is hard too. Regarding sex, you said you don’t feel anything.
What about your husband does he feel anything! ( it’s okay if you don’t want to reply)

I feel like I am grieving, I am grieving the loss of my body and the kids I cannot have :(.
I wanted a full house of kids. I wanted a daughter. When you give birth to a girl, you gave birth to a life time partner and a friend.

I pray we all heal and come back stronger.
my husband came to see me today to take me home but I couldn’t leave with him :(. I tried telling him but I don’t want him to see me differently. Am I going to end up alone ? My husband is very handsome and young, what’s going to happen to me.

i am sorry 😞 but I haven’t opened up or said my feelings to anyone. Writing this anonymously helps and connecting with someone. I don’t know how to turn off my feelings and anxiety.

@bluebellinthewood How bad is your rectocele, does it come out?

To those who have had a prolapse, how were you diagnosed? I definitely have two bulges in my vagina after having my daughter 6 weeks ago but when I went to get checked they couldn't see anything. It's definitely worse if I am squatting down.

OP, I too am 27 and I'm sending you lots of hugs. We will get better and life will be somewhat normal again. I'm sure. Xx

Dear OP, you seem to have decided that you can't have more children and your relationship is over. I am confused by this. Many of us have told you that the prolapse will improve a great deal. I have 3 prolapses and a very healthy sex life! My husband can't notice any difference (although at 3 months post partum he would have noticed). Many, many women with prolapses have more children. I had another child, no problem! You can even request a c-section (I had a vaginal birth and it didn't do any further damage. The damage is usually caused my the first birth only ). Please don't believe this narrative you are feeding yourself that your life is over. Most likely everything will go back to normal or nearly normal and you won't even notice it in the future.

I knew I had a prolapse as I could see the bulges and had a sense of something hanging out (like a tampon falling out). My doctor refused to look before 3 months. Then she thought she could see something. I was referred to a urogynpcologist who diagnosed bladder, bowel and uterine prolapse. All healed up greatly when I stopped breastfeeding and just let time pass (around 1 year post partum). I'm really not aware of them now and life is completely normal for me.

OP , do you feel any better after reading these posts? A weakened pelvic floor soon after pregnancy is almost normal, it isn't an issue to be more than inconvenienced by. With time and the physio's help you will feel better and your symptoms will subside. Your sex life will get back to normal, albeit you won't feel exactly the same as you did before your delivery , but that is to be expected.There is no reason why you shouldn't have more DC.Yes, some women need surgical intervention but it is way too early to know whether this is likely to be the case for you. Your worry about this and the fact that it is interfering with your life in this way suggests to me that you are depressed and I think you would benefit from talking to your HV or GP. I understand that you have symptoms but that doesn't mean that they aren't taking a toll on you .Seek advice if you can .

Try and see it like this. You passed a very large object through your vagina. Your vagina walls are all stretched out and as a result your bladder is bulging in. The post pregnancy hormones and low oestrogen are all contributing to everything staying floppy down there. It can take a year or 2 to heal and for hormones to normalise. This time next year you'll be in a radically different place.

thank you I will try to stay positive.
Thursday I have physio appointment. I am soooo excited. Something to look forward to.

I think I am depressed I agree. I never struggled with mental health so I am struggling to process this and turn it off.
thanks again for your support. I have been going to A&E since I gave birth because of the panic something about to fall out. I think my mum had enough of me :(

@Mboor that’s great that you have a physio appointment. Good luck! Please let me know how it goes - if you don’t mind sharing. My appointment is three weeks away.

I’m feeling less positive today. Mostly because this rectocele is giving me bad constipation, something which I’ve never suffered from before. The darkness descends when you think - is this it, is this going to be a feature of my life forever now? But then rational Kabuki thinks “it’s early days, give it time, etc, etc.”.

Me too - I’ve never had any mental health issues but this prolapse is giving me proper anxiety. it is crazy that this topic isn’t discussed more. All health professionals are very keen to encourage pelvic floor exercises but I don’t ever remember anyone telling me the consequences of a really weak pelvic floor apart from incontinence.

anyway, best of luck on Thursday!

Hello, I got a prolapse (rectocele) after the birth of my first baby (forceps and a bad tear). I felt the same way as others have described, so depressed and like my body was broken. I went on to have two more babies, all vaginal births, though no more forceps thankfully! In between each birth I rehabilitated my pelvic floor and it got so much better. The NHS physio was really helpful - you can self refer.

The most useful thing I did was these exercises www.hab-it.com/. The one called Hab-it Pelvic Floor Exercises Digital Download that costs 12.95 dollars. I cannot describe the difference it makes. When doing them regularly I notice such a difference. There's loads of information as well on her website.

I definitely found through my physio and the hab-it exercises that working on the whole pelvic basket made a massive difference. When I strengthened my deep core muscles and bum muscles it improved my prolapse. So it's not just the pelvic floor muscles that will help. Paying attention to my posture also really reduces my symptoms.

Don't despair, it does get better. There are things I don't do as I know the discomfort it will cause and potentially more damage , like going running or high impact workouts or carrying heavy stuff. But for everyday life, running around with my children, carrying stuff, sex etc there are no issues. As long as I remember to do my exercises regularly (kegels and the hab-it ones), avoid stuff that I know aggravates the prolapse (eg going for a run), and making sure I don't get constipated.

Also something that really really helps, and especially in the first year or two, is lying down occasionally during day to give the muscles there a break. Literally just five minutes makes a difference.

I think it takes a while (took me a couple of years....) to work out what works for you to be able to manage the prolapse to the point that it doesn't interfere with life. Paying attention to my body and adapting things dependent on how it feels also makes a difference. Eg if it's the time of the month I feel mine most or I'm very tired or I haven't had a bowel movement recently, I take it easier eg no long walk or heavy lifting, and I will try to fit in a few minutes here and there of lying down to take the pressure off.

So essentially the prolapse remains, but with management it has a pretty minimal effect on my life. I hope it's the same, or better!, for you. Give it time and work - mine took a couple of years and lots of exercises to get to a place where I feel it doesn't interfere with my life.

Good luck!!

@SoEffingWhatNow By a specialist women's health physio. The GP was pretty clueless.

And the midwife was clueless too, surprisingly.

I had my physio today. She thinks I have partial puborectalis avulsion to the right side. This explain my back passage symptoms and prolapse symptoms.
she said currently I don’t have prolapse but it can progress into prolapse. I don’t know if this is a good news or bad news :(
I read puborectalis Is love muscle and can progress to rectal prolapse :( please someone tell me prognosis and similar experience !

She said my perineum is 2.5cm, and my hiatus is abit wide. She said give it time and with physio. She said after some physio sessions, we will do another assessment to confirm diagnosis and establish management strategy.

Blimey, you're only 3.months post partum, give your body time!