Shoulder dystopia experiences anyone?

[scrabbledabbl]

I am genuinely shaken to my core mums.

This morning I delivered my baby after having my waters broken and what was quite a straightforward labour only to end in the midwife calling for help what felt like 1000 doctors appearing out of nowhere and grabbing me putting me in a positive pulling the baby out of me then surrounding him with tubes masks needles papers. All the while I lay there stunned still in pain exhausted. It was actually horrific.

He's now on the neonatal ward because he wasn't breathing properly, pale and limp at the time of birth. I am just so upset thinking about it and how scary it was / how close we were to potentially loosing him which is has been my worst nightmare from day one. I didn't even know shoulder dystopia was a thing - I've googled it and understand now it is quite an uncommon medical emergency but why me? Why did this have to happen to me. I can't bring him home for a few days and I'm sick of this hospital :-(

I'm sorry you've been through that. I don't have any experience with that but a few of the NCT mums had harrowing births with various interventions too. One was slow to bond afterwards, one did the thing where you speak to the midwife group afterwards and one was a long recovery and was laid up a while.

But you see us all now and all the toddlers and you would never know who had the lovely water birth and who lost nearly 2L of blood. You wouldn't know which child had a serious allergy to breast milk and was very ill.

All you will see is seven of the cutest hooligans and 14 tired, but happy and proud parents.

It will get better. But don't be hard on yourself. You didn't cause it and these things just happen. Your baby will be home soon and you can start a new life together.

Agree with the above, do a birth debrief, someone on the ward may be able to do if before you leave. Understanding why this happened may help you. E.g. was it babies position, did their shoulder get stuck under your pubic bone etc
I had a really traumatic first birth, waited until I was pregnant with my second for a birth debrief and wish I'd done it much sooner, it helped me realise that what happened wasn't my fault, it was babies bad position and the intervention etc (different problem, not shoulder dystocia) and made me believe in my body again. Can you leave a Muslim or teddy with baby and swap it over so you have something and they have something so when they're not with you, you can smell them etc? May help if you want to bf too x

@Loulou1712
will any Muslim do, or does it have to be a specific one? 😂

OP, congratulations on your new arrival. Sorry you had such a tough time. Ask for a debrief, and hopefully the shock will subside as you get to know your little one.

Omg 😳
Original reply edited!! 🙈

It’s horrible when you have a traumatic birth. My first was traumatic with sepsis and emcs. To your question- why me- it just can happen to anyone. To be honest out of my friends about half of us had traumatic births- 4th degree tear, pprom, blood loss etc. but as a pp have said- the babies are ok and years on you wouldn’t know which ones had the traumatic entries into the world. Talking it through with the dr might help

Midwives suspected DD was stuck with shoulder dystopia so I was packed off to theatre very quickly, and the relief in their voices when they managed to turn her and get her out with forceps, I won't forget quickly.

Of all the women I know, only two have had the sort of birth everyone hopes for. Everyone else's is a compromise or a case of keeping all parties safe and alive so birth plans go out of the window.

Birth can be unexpectedly and suddenly terrifying; take it as easy as you can and look after yourself.

Hi OP,

I had shoulder dystocia with my second. He’s just turned 9 and to be honest I still find it very traumatic to think about how close it was. Just like you, they suddenly pressed the button and lots of people ran in. I was terrified. The staff were amazing though and knew exactly what to do. They were very clear afterwards that sometimes it just happens. I felt in shock for a good while afterwards. I hope you’re ok. I would recommend talking to the staff about it and maybe ask for a debrief.

Thanks for all your replies girls I really
Appreciate it makes me feel like I'm not alone I have convinced myself it was my fault and there was something I could have or should have done differently I haven't had a debrief yet I've asked for one hopefully they will give it soon I think what makes it worse is still being in this hospital I've been here for days cos I was waiting for an induction and kept being put back in the queue I think I will feel much better if I can get the hell out of here and take him home safely :-(

@Stygimoloch hey thanks for your reply I wouldn't wish SD on anyone but it's nice to be able to speak to someone who went through the same thing I am a very anxious person anyway with a history of mental health issues so I am pretty sure this is just going to add to and worsen my general mental state I already feel so traumatised I'm under perinatal care maybe I can process it with them. @Stygimoloch did your LO have to go to neonatal afterwards? I think the idea that it was SO close is what is crippling me because my biggest fear has always been stillbirth or complications after delivery I've obsessed over it my entire pregnancy and to think your worst fear almost came true is just paralysing :-(

It happened to me with my eldest. It is very frightening and you will need help and support. Be very kind to yourself and ask for as much help as you need.

Oh you poor thing. I remember seeing an episode of One Born Every Minute where the baby had shoulder dystocia and it looked absolutely brutal for both mum and baby so you must still be in shock. Thank goodness baby and you are both safe and you're in the best place, even though I know it won't feel like it. I really struggled with a longer stay in hospital with my first DC and was close to cracking up when we got discharged, so I understand how you feel and how desperate you must be to get home.

Do you have support from a partner? Good snacks and stuff to watch on phone was a lifesaver to wile away those seemingly endless hours on the ward.

I had SD with my first baby. It is very very frightening for you and the midwives. Yes they train for it and know what protocols to put in place but it’s still scary. Take care of yourself OP, and be kind to yourself. You didn’t cause it (how could you? His shoulders got stuck in your pelvis, it’s what happens sometimes and it’s spontaneous). For what it’s worth, with my second baby I had an ELCS (my request) and it was a lovely, calm experience. Definitely go for a birth debrief and ask for counselling too if you need it.

I had a shoulder dystocia with my oldest. She is now 10. It is very traumatic and difficult to come to terms with.

I would recommend a debrief but wait a few weeks / months first so you can think of any questions you might have. Counselling May be useful too especially if you may want more kids in future.

sending love and healing to you both

Looooool 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I had SD with my second DD. She is now 25.
I went on to have 2 more children and didn't have it with either of them.

My DD is a very strong character- I'm not sure if this is due to the SD!

It is very traumatic as a birth and quite brutal. I hope you get the help needed.

I had shoulder dystocia with number 3. No one has predicted he was going to be a whopper, I already had 2 X 7lb girls, so was expecting another 7-8 lb baby. He was 10lb 5oz!. Was meant to be a home water birth but I ended up with an ambulance transfer at 10cm.

He's 10 now and no one would ever know, it's not something that even comes to mind any more.

If asked though I will say I am so so grateful for the NHS and what they did to get him out. His birth was absolutely brutal and barbaric they even took the gas and air away for the last 15 mins. They ended up doing a wood's screw manoeuvre when the more usual techniques didn't work. It was horrific but absolutely necessary. There were 2 midwives in the room when his head popped out but they pressed that emergency buzzer and by the time he was born 3 minutes later, there were 17 people (all named in the notes, I didn't actually count them at the time!). That's 15 people who were just going about their jobs all over the hospital who stopped what they were doing and ran to help us in an instant. Just amazing and I will be forever grateful.

His apgar at birth was 2, he was lucky and perked up pretty quickly so we avoided NICU or SCBU. I didn't actually see him for a few minutes while they worked on him but DH was a bit traumatised as he did see how blue/grey DS was when he was born.

Once you get out of hospital things will get better and more normal. Hospitals are not nice places to stay, made even worse by you felling like you've been hit by a bus both physically and emotionally. Be kind to yourself and see how you feel in a few months, you can ask for a debrief of your birth if you think it might help you come to terms with it.

This is why is never home birth. I know it's for some people but I just couldn't risk it. It sounds like you have done amazingly , wishing you and baby all the best!

I had a shoulder dystocia with my first baby at home. Very traumatic and fast delivery, my ds had to be resuscitated on my dining room table.

I didn't have a birth debrief in the end, I booked one in my second pregnancy but that turned out to be twins so I had an elcs with them which was obviously the polar opposite to my home birth.

I would recommend waiting about 6w before you have a debrief, I wouldn't have got any value from it before leaving hospital. My trust also offered counselling. In my second pregnancy I was treated absolutely amazingly, they had all clearly read my notes and actually I found that empathetic reaction very healing, even 6 years later.

Hope you are ok xx

So I spoke to the doctor guys finally had my debrief she was SO supportive and understanding and totally validated my concerns / trauma / how difficult it must have been for me. I'm so grateful. She did admit having looked through my notes and growth chart that he was a big baby relative to my size (basically measuring over the top centile continually on serial scans) and that I should have been warned / advised of the risk but I mean there's no point in complaining about it now or harbouring resentment what is done is done. I feel better I don't think I will get over it easily and will require counselling (which I already have for anxiety) or specific PTSD counselling to help me overcome it.
Thank you for all your stories and support on here really really made me feel
Like I'm not alone xxxx

I actually think you should complain, you don't need to sue anyone but if it should have been picked up on and wasn't then it should be flagged. It might help provide a bit of closure on it, and help the next woman down the line.

One of the reasons this is such an emergency complication is that it's rare, it's difficult to predict and happens at the very last moment. My shoulder dystocia was at 38+5 so not overdue, wasn't measuring big, no gestational diabetes, no indication it would happen at all. My baby was big (9lb 5 at 38+5) but it happens with smaller babies too. Worth looking to see if it could have been predicted but in the main it's almost impossible to know.

I had SD with my second, she's was fairly big at 9lb 6.5oz and the delivery team had to break her collar bone to get her out. She was in special care for a few days and looked like she'd been dropped down a flight of stairs.

She's now a healthy 5'7 15 year old and has suffered no ill effects.

Like someone mentioned above, it's an absolutely brutal delivery and situation. I was ok but found it pretty hard when my due date for my third approached as I was terrified something would go wrong again. Spoiler alert, it didn't, she was a standard vaginal delivery with just gas and air and arrived in less than four hours from start to finish.

Try and focus on the fact that your baby is here and the end result was worth it. Perhaps if you have recurrent issues as time goes it, it would be worth seeking some counselling to work through your emotions and worries.

Congratulations on your new arrival.

I had a SD in January. I gave birth alone while DP looked after ds 3 years old (he wasa c section due to breech).

I had a precipitous labour, they said I was managing the pain very badly on diamorphine so let it wear off for an epidural which never happened. I was leaning facing against the back of the bed pushing very much against my will (I was confused by the speed of labour, the sensations weren't as expected, etc) so didn't see the button pushing, just became aware of being lifted onto my back with a room full of people and a Dr putting her arm up to move baby girl. I'm so very grateful they freed her so quickly, I got her out on the next push. She had to be resuscitated next to me, but was otherwise fine. She was 7lb 12oz at 40+6, spontaneous labour, so not a size thing.

They kept us overnight due to her resuscitation, but she was fine, fed like an absolute dream within the hour. She wasn't away from me bar those first 10 minutes being made to breathe and checked over. No damage to her limbs from the SD. And I got away with a bad 2nd degree tear.

I still think of it often, and was shaken for a while. But we are all healthy, she is a super easy baby, and I'm just grateful. I have anxiety/depression too, but had already re started medication late in pregnancy.

You'll be home before you know it OP, and the strangeness does pass. Just concentrate on you and your baby being healthy :)

I had it, but only found out afterwards what the actual problem was from my notes. At the time they just said “we’re going to need to use the ventouse” and then “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to cut” (very neat episiotomy, healed completely in like a week). So I just thought it was standard big baby-first birth-exhausted mum.
Baby was fine initially but then had to go to neonatal for five days of intravenous antibiotics (swallowed dirty amniotic fluid due to panicky exit). Took it like an angel, we were still allowed to be in the same room and skin to skin etc, and was and continues to be the most calm, charming child.
When I read it was SD afterwards I was retrospectively really scared and so glad I didn’t go for a home birth or anything like that. The team were so great for keeping calm and keeping me in my bubble. Your obstetrician sounds great too.

@anotherscroller thanks for your comment. My boy is now also on IV ABs because of raised inflammatory markers - I've been constantly confused as to where he got this infection from but maybe he too swallowed dirty AF when stuck? But then there was no maconium or whatever the green poo stuff is called in my waters when they broke so still it doesn't make sense. Having to sit on a ward waiting for doctors to report test results to you is one of the hardest things ever :(