First baby and requesting homebirth - how did you go about it, what was your experience?

[iampgatlast]

hi i am 21 and expecting my first baby on 29th of this month.

i have been trying to plan for a home birth since 28 weeks but i kept getting told i needed to wait until i was further along so here i am 37+1 and saw my midwife yesterday. She asked me why i wanted a homebirth and that did i realise that my only pain relief option really was gas and air and i have to make sure this is really what i wanted as i have to consider the cost involved in transferring to hospital in an ambulance i found this very patronising and i feel she only spoke to me in this manner because of my age.

i now have to wait to speak with another midwife and she may not see me until 38+2.

i just wondered what your experience was of actually getting the ok for your homebirth?

i am under no illusions that the birth is going to bloody well hurt but i have my tens machine, considering a pool and i will have gas and air, how did you cope with the pain at home?

i guess i am just looking for a little bit of reassurance as i have my heart set on having my baby at home ( i am aware that if the pregnancy doesnt stay problem free i will end up in hospital and also during labour if there are complications i will end up in hospital) but the feeling i got from the midwife was she just looked at me as if to say i wont be able to manage.

look forward to hearing your responses xx

oh i forgot to mention that the reason i need to speak to the other midwife is because she will be the one doing the home visit but she is very busy at the moment and will only be visiting when she can "slot" me in

I had a homebirth with my first baby when I was 21 - had no real problems getting the ok for it.

You need to be very determined if they are being like this with you. I would suggest writing to the local Head of Midwifery Services stating that you are having a homebirth and reminding them of their legal duty to provide you with care.

Look here for more information on your rights, and here for sample letters.

Hope it works out well and take care x

Oh and homebirth is considerably cheaper for the NHS than hospital birth. She is being ridiculous and should not be trying to change your mind.

You have the right to a homebirth and you sound like you have thought it through and know what you are doing.

the homebirth.org site is great.

i have been at home births and there is no doub the are fantastic.

good luck with getting one - and if your pregnancy has been great and no major issues then they cant/shouldnt say NO, and if they do, TELL them you ARE having a HB - go and spk to head of midwifery aswell.

cx

I had a homebirth with first and had no problems asking for it.

You have the right to choose where you give birth.

As regards the cost involved in transferring to hospital - this might be a concern for the midwifery team, but is not your problem and should not have been used as a reason to put you off HB.

If you want to get a pool at home, you need to organise now (today!). I have to say that without one I probably would have gone to hospital. It was the best pain relief for me.

There are other options for pain relief at home. You can request that your GP give you pethidine to store in the fridge at home. Midwife can administer if required. However, pethidine is not really encouraged (makes both you and baby drowsy/can make you sick etc).

There is absolutely no reason (given that you have no complications or identified risk factors) why you should not successfully give birth at home. Sounds like you will have to fight for it though.

Good luck

I was 21 when i had my first also, (i now have 4) i also found the midwife to be very patronising, when i said i didn't want any drugs she kept trying to push me, i was in labour at this point. I had gas and air and managed just fine 8 hr labour in hospital. I considered it with my second and third babies and talked myself out of it. But when i got pregnant with my fourth there was a lot of press about mrsa, so that made my mind up and i decided on a home birth, it was fantastic and i wish i had done with all of them. My own surroundings, my routine and with the other children downstairs with nan it was great cause she was born 3.29pm, just after they were back from school so they could come straight up and meet her, i would recomend it to anyone, just make sure u do have a bag packed just incase you do need to go to hospital. You can have you fav music playing or whatever relaxs you. Good Luck whatever you decide to do!

i had a hospital birth with my first and it was horrendous (the care etc) so for my second i decided i was having a home birth...they were a bit funny as i'd torn badly first time round due to a silly midwife not guiding me properly, just sat at end of bed watching me(nearly theatre stitches) but i just said that if they didn't set me up for a home birth i'd just deliver my baby at home on my own (as dh is a hemophobic so cant help) and then just ring them afterwards....so they set me up the next day!! but i was 37+5 then...and at 38wks exactly she arrived!! it was the best experience ever!! i whole heartedly reccomend it!! i'd never have a hospital birth now unless mine or my babies life would be at risk without it!!

good luck!!

I forgot to say, regardless of any cost to the nhs, you have the right to decide where your child is born. Stick to your guns if thats what you really want. I think it is just pot luck as to which midwife you get some are fantastic and others well, they don't deserve to be doing the job. Apart from my 1st baby all the midwifes have been fantastic, one student midwife actually took the time to come and say goodbye at the end of her shift. you can also request a different midwife if you are not happy!

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I did not need to convince my mw, that you do.

I had put in my birth plan that I did not want Pethidine at home for reasons stated below but here in Oxford they use Meptid, which only makes baby drowsy after 3 doses and is much safer.

If you cannot get a pool (you did leave it a bit late...) the bath will also work, my mw will even deliver my baby in the bath if I can spread my legs enough!

I have said this in other posts, as long as it is normal and acceptable to be ferried to hospital by ambulance because you fell over while pssed on a Saturday night the cost of you needing* an ambulance is not your problem.

Go for it. And your age has got nothing to do with it. You may well have more stamina than me (12 years older ).

PS I am due 1 day after you! I have had my home birth visit and a box has been delivered!

have a look at www.aims.org.uk and the homebirth site that has been mentioned

your PCT are legally required to accomodate your request for homebirth

making you wait until later to request it is a good way for them to be able to say, we don;t have the staff for it.

if you go into labour, before it is sorted, calmly state you have requested a hombirth, adn will not be coming in, and you wil await a midwife to attend the birth at home, there is a good example of what to say on the AIMS site.

being at home, able to move, vocalise, eat and drink, be comfortable will go a long way to making it a more pleasant experience.

you DO NOT have to consider the cost of a possible transfer in.

phone head of midwifery and get this sorted ASAP , stick to your guns, you are entitled to have this.

hi I had a homebirth with no2 and am planning another with no3. I got a prescription for Diamorphine from the GP and got it from the chemist myself, ended up I never used it just used gas and air.

I can't believe they have kept you waiting and waiting, here I am only "allowed" a HB from 39-42 weeks as thats all they will provide MW cover for (always wondered what would happen if I was 38+6 days) a HB kit was delivered from the hospital at around 37 weeks with the gas and air, oxygen and various other bits needed.

Personally I wouldn't have had a MB for a first baby I was in a tiny flat at the time and I was scared of the unknown the first time but that doesn't mean that it's not safe to have one. I could have had one fine.

best of luck hope you get the birth you want.

Hi,

I think you have been treated quite badly by your hospital, continually putting this off etc, and if they have fobbed you off for the past 10 weeks, you can bet that 'the other m/w' will not find time to sort this out before you deliver.

The cost of anything to do with childbirth is just complete bullshit and is nothing whatsoever to do with you, so tell them that next time they try that one on

I agree that its probably got a bit to do with your age, but now you really need to be quite assertive, not in an aggressive or whiney way, but in a 'this is what is going to happen' way as time is fast running out. Its very much easier all round to have things organised, kit delivered, midwives on call etc prior to the event, rather than waiting until you go into labour at 3am and then the hospital trying to find someone to come out to you with all the gear. And judging by what you have already said about the level of entheusiasm from the midwives..........

The other posters are right that you need to download the letter from the linked website and send it to the head of midwifery tomorrow (if not today) and back it up by a phone call to the head of midwifery stating that you intend to have a homebirth and that you are now at term and it still has not been organised through the antenatal clinic and can she please look into it. Ask her to confirm your call by letter, and to expect a letter from you confirming that you are planning a homebirth and fully expect to be supported in your choice. I would also tell her that you will be putting in a formal letter of complaint if this all falls through due to her staffs' reluctance to do their job properly.

That ought to put the ball right back in her court, and if you do it by phone, they cant tell what age etc that you are. The response to that will almost certainly be a 'ok we will get this sorted out', so next, phone the midwife in charge of the antenatal clinic, tell her you have just had a long talk with the head of midwifery over the lack of planning of this homebirth and you expect her to get something sorted out urgently to facilitate you. If your phone call is followed closely by a 'whats going on' phone call from her boss, I think you will find it all starts to fall into place very quickly!

Its sad that you have to resort to this, but be strong and positive and hopefully it will all go smoothly. Even if you do transfer in, you know that you have given it your best shot. Also get the diamorphine / pethidine from your GP asap also, and ask him to give you a scipt for neonatal narcan,(which will reverse the effects of the Diamorph on baby if need be. The m/w should really carry some, but as a midwife, having done some homebirths, I would be a bit reluctant to give diamorph without narcan there too.

All the best - let us know how it went.

That's very interesting about the narcan mintpurple thats why I wasn't keen on having diamorphine at home because of the effects on the baby. I did have stematol (spp) on prescription to stop me puking and also asked for cocodamol for afterwards.

MWs also brought the syntometrin a few weeks before but I had asked for them not to use it but they wanted to have it just in case.

I had two community MWs at my delivery both with over 20 years experience each and it was the first HB either of them had done and they were v excited but a bit nervous. I would have loved a MW a bit more experienced in HB.

im having a home birth with my 3rd and the mws wont book it or do the visit until 36/37 weeks. i can get pethidine on pescription and they bring out the g&a when i call them. they also mentioned that they try and advise against 1st timmers having hbs as they dont know what to expect. personally i dont see problem with first babys being born at home, mine was a hospital birth but i could have managed pain wise at home. it was more the unknown that sent me to the hospital.

good luck for the birth and i hope you get the home birth you want

we had home birth .... was planned kind of, he was three weeks early and came quick so even if i had'nt wanted it the choice was not mine!!! If you have a good mw and your pregnacy and health are normal i cant see any problem. we live 30 mins from maternity unit and that was my only concern should things go hay wire.
it really was a good experience for us. totally led by my needs and 'DEMANDS!!!!!!'.
The only thing i regretted was that we dont have any family local and it was a good 12 hours before we had any family support come to the house..... i really could have done with someone coming to the house to 'hold the baby' so to speak once the midwife left.
Good luck and enjoy!

forgot to say.... yes the pain was horrible but you do have gas and air if you want it and because you are at home you know you have no other options and you dont yell for alternatives. I think for me the pain was bearable because i was in a relaxed/calm environment. And if you have a partner/ mother etc helping with the labour they feel more relaxed and able to get involved because it becomes their responsibility. That said because it was fairly quick i did not have hours of contraction pain to deal with.... might have been a different story if i had had a longer labour!

hi ladies

thankyou for all of your messages, you all raise some very valid points and the care i have received up until now has been rather shocking and up in the air.

well on saturday i phoned another midwife who was the community midwife and specialised in home births, she came round and saw me at 11. she was fantastic so caring and genuine and really did believe in homebirths being a fantastic experience and couldnt have offered more support and advice. after a long chat and a cup of coffee she said i met all the criteria and has agreed to my homebirth.

so i am now officially booked in

thanks again for your messages and giving me that little bit of oomph when i really was just losing the plot and considering just having a hospital birth for a peaceful life.

i will let you all know when my little boy arrives

way to go iampgatlast, soooo pleased, here's hoping for a straightforward homebirth. Let's see who pops first, my edd is 30/1, been having some pains and tightenings over the last few days .

I was 20 when I had my DD and I felt that I wasn't being taken seriously when I mentioned that I might like a homebirth. My midwife asked me if I usually took painkillers for a headache; i'm not sure why this made a difference. Everyone I told tried to put me off (and was also keen to tell me their horror birthstories - making me want to be at home more to avoid intervention!) I got everything ready for a homebirth but DD was 40+14 overdue and I didn't want to take any risks so I ended up being induced. I hope you get the birth you want. Good luck!!

I forgot to say that my sister had a homebirth with her second and couldn't be more supportive of others who want to do the same.

ohhh madhouse theres a day between us! is this your first baby? i have been getting the odd niggly period pain and i sit and wait for it to get stronger but it just fades...still early days i guess i have ordered my pool from birth pool in a box which will be here on wednesday, there is no kit to be delivered as the midwife brings everything with her at the time...lets just hope that is true! knowing the way my luck goes il be without gas and air and everything needed for the delivery! i have decided to opt out of using pethidine altogether. i have tens, pool and GandA. hope everything goes smoothly for you too!! pop back and keep me updated

with a normal labour where baby is head down and not back to back and because of your age, you will probably be an ideal candidate and is no more risky for a first baby as every pregnancy and birth is different.
I had a home birth planned but dd was back to back so after 33hours going from 1-9cm at home I transferred to hospital. I had a tens machine, birthing pool and gas and air until then through an extremely painful and difficult labour. I don't regret trying this for a moment. The transfer to hospital took 30mins. I ended up having a c section under general anaesthetic.

You can refuse to go to hospital. Your choice. Unless you have complications such as gestational diabetes, pre eclampsia etc then they have no grounds to refuse unless understaffed. There is no point waiting as babies can reposition themselves right until the last minute so she won't know how things will go until the labour, unless baby is breach.
Put your foot down about this.