Am I crazy to consider a home birth?

[nicola7865]

Hello, I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant with my second child. My first birth was absolutely not the most ideal situation and to be honest, I think I was totally underprepared for it.

To try and be brief: it was 38 hours from first contraction to my baby being born. The baby compressed on my urethra so I couldn't naturally pass urine, made my contractions more uncomfortable due to the feeling of needing to wee, had to beg for a catheter. Went to hospital 3 times before being admitted (2cm, 3cm then finally 4). Ended up with an epidural after 30 hours as I was just so tired. This lead to me needing the drip to speed things along and eventually the use of forceps which caused my baby to have a pneumothorax and end up in NICU for 4 days.

When I went for my initial midwife appointment with my second she said I was low risk and could even have a home birth if I wanted. Myself and my husband laughed it off to begin with after thinking about the first labour. However I'm really trying to approach this one with a new frame of mind. I'm getting into hypnobirthing (not so much the affirmations, but the meditation and the science behind it I really agree with) this has started to get me thinking maybe... just maybe I could do a home birth?

My reasoning for wanting one is because I've identified the worst part about the first labour was the car journeys, I found them excruciating. Having to do 5 of them there and back caused me the most trauma out of the whole labour. Learning about oxytocin and how it helps us progress, has made me quite confident that these journeys prolonged my labour. A home birth would prevent all of this.

But I'm just concerned that I couldn't birth at home, what happens if I can't pass urine again? What happens if my labour is just as long? What if this baby needs help? Also my husband bless him (a little traumatised from the first I think) has it in his head that if our first wasn't in hospital when she was born she would have died, 50% true she needed the help immediately, but also 50% I think false as all the medical interventions were the result of going to and from the hospital in the first place.

Anyway I'm not sure what I'm trying to get from this post... maybe some positive thoughts, some way to convince my husband it's a good idea. Someone to say no, go to hospital. Just any advice would be appreciated. Especially if you've had a rough first labour and a second home birth. Thanks for reading if you've got this far!

You want someone to say “just go to hospital”. So I will. But that’s not to say a home birth wouldn’t be right for you. DH ruled out a home birth for us because all his medical friends would say: labour in hospital just in case you need the support. I was disappointed. But in the end I lost a lot of blood and it took them an hour to stabilise me. We live rurally, about an hour to the nearest hospital (which is in a different NHS trust and I worry that could have complicated things). I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t had an obstetrician with me within minutes but it would certainly have taken exponentially longer as I’d have probably lost more blood. My birth story doesn’t feel traumatic and it doesn’t bother me at all. But had I had a home birth and had the same “complications” it would have been traumatic I think. FWIW I had to call 999 for an ambulance last week and we were graded as Category 2, they aim to be with you in 20 minutes. It took them 1 hour 20. Plus the journey to hospital which was still over 30 minutes on blue lights, then the hand over etc. Had I been within spitting distance to the hospital then I would be looking at it differently. I know loads of people who have had lovely home birth and one who has had 5(!) my SIL is planning one for her next too.

Is the midwife led option possible at all? I had that and it was brilliant. It also meant that, after a straightforward labour, when ds 1 came out needing immediate medical attention (unexpected) that it was available too. Half a dozen paediatric nurses and docs racing in wasn't fun but it was a massive relief. The birth process was good. There was basically no downside. Had I had a home birth it would have been plain sailing until his birth. He could have ended up with cerebral palsy or dead. I think normal birth is a good thing to aim for, but it's best to have medical things available! Good luck. Second and third births for me were very easy and the kids were perfect. God bless!

Given the medical complications in your first birthing, why in earth would you not want to be near expert help?

Also, don’t go to the hospital so early that you keep getting sent away!

That sounds like an awful time for you.

In your shoes, I’d be considering a home birth too. Car journeys in Labour are awful.

I have to say that in my subsequent births I was much more aware of how far through I was, and what help I needed. And I felt listened to more as well. So, in your position I would plan for a MLU but to go in as late as possible. But that’s me, not you :)

Thanks for the replies. The other option is the MLU and I'm more than happy to go there. It's just the getting there that's really playing on my mind, to the point I'm thinking about it every day. Maybe I just need to get my head around this section of my labour and everything else will slot into place.

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy I didn't go into hospital for the fun of it. I'd been having contractions for 20 hours prior to going in the first time. The timings of them justified me thinking I was further ahead than I was. It was my first labour, it's all a new experience! I know now for the second the signs of how far along I was and will therefore hopefully not take the unnecessary journeys like last time.

I have had 2 homebirths 1 hospital birth and 1 transfer.

So I answer to your question of what happens if you cant pee again and need a catheter. You transfer to hospital.

The midwives will drop of a kit and they will bring with them a resuscitation unit so if baby struggles to breathe they will deal with that and call an ambulance to transfer you both.

For me I had positive home birth experiences not as positive a transfer and a positive hospital birth (with an epidural) the not so positive transfer was due to a consultant who threw a tantrum (he actually stormed out slamming the door when I was not wanting to speed up labour ) and a midwife who only understood what I was aiming for at the very end of the labour. In retrospect we should have asked for a different midwife.

My homebirths were calm and supported experiences after dd2s birth (first homebirth) i looked up at dh and said "I want to do that again!" I was on such a high I felt the highest rush of achievement I've ever known. I've never done "that" again as each birth is different. If you go with a homebirth i would recommend you get a 2nd person there as support who will take over the tea making and toast making etc ensuring dhs job is to remain close to you. Someone you trust ( mum mil best friend or a doula) this also means dh has someone to support him if he is feeling off.

Dh was not fully on board first time I said I wanted a homebirth. By no 2 and 3 he was very on board. He felt far closer involved and a part of at home than in hospital.

Dd2 was born in the bedroom dd3 was born in the dinning room. Dd1 and ds in the same room at the hospital. All of their birth certificates says the town hospital.

I'm having a homebirth this time around for very similar circumstances. Hes due in a week and some days and I'm still very comfortable with my decision. Everything has been way smoother this time around and I'm not so stressed thinking about getting to the hospital. Everything is on my terms, (that I can control) and that brings me so much peace.
I've been told they always have an ambulance spare for emergencies with births and babys so will get to hospital ASAP if needed. I would say go for it. Planning a homebirth this time round compared to planning for the hospital has just been so much more relaxing.

I had my first baby at home. I knew that if I didn't opt for a home birth antenatally it wasn't an option but whatever plans I made for a home birth, if I wanted to on the day I could go to hospital. As it was my labour was 10 hours start to finish. I caught the midwives on the hop and delivered at least 6 hours before they expected me to so I had no medical support in attendance. Even with that I'd still opt for a home birth next time. And I still know I can go in for any reason if I feel I need to. Transfer isn't failing. It's sometimes very necessary.

Like you say, oxytocin and the ability to relax is vital. I could not relax at all knowing I might be facing an ambulance ride to hospital with a baby in distress at the most critical point in the birthing process, so I’d choose (and did have) a hospital birth. Could you really relax at home? That was the most important question to me, when I was in your position.

Also your husband can be there the entire time, and whoever else you want to be there. Whereas in hospital that can't happen. Covid is rife in hospitals right now too. I think opting for a homebirth is a very sensible decision in these times. But above all you honestly need to do what makes you most relaxed, a relaxed mum makes for an easier birth!

I would not recommend a homebirth by any means for you. Please reconsider.
You past previous experiences would put me off, without trying to freak me out, but from seeing other home births
Go wrong I cannot recommend them. I know they work for some but no, I wouldn't if I were you.

MLU was fantastic for me. I'd heartily recommend it. Yeah, the journey is crap but it's honestly nowhere near as bad second time! Plus you know it's going to pass in waves!

MLU attached to a hospital - best of both worlds. There is no way I would risk a home birth and I’m a fan of hypnobirthing. I just can’t shake the feeling of “what if”. Especially with horrendous wait times for ambulances at the moment.

Medicalisation of labour has saved millions of lives. You might be more likely to have intervention or whatever it is that the stats say about hospital vs home, but if you or baby experience a life threatening complication… I know where I’d rather be.

I understand where you're coming from as my baby would have died if I hadn't been in the hospital BUT they caused it in the first place. If I'd been left to labour naturally I don't think I'd have ended up in the mess I was in.

I've just had a second baby and no way would I have ever considered a home birth. They aren't doing them in my area anyway but I personally think it's too high risk as there's so many things that can go wrong.

I only know one person that risked a home birth but her mum is a midwife and was on hand to deal with it.

I wanted a home birth for my first, and stayed at home with a birth pool and midwives until I was fully dilated. My baby then got stuck and I was transferred to hospital and had a forceps delivery and a haemorrhage. I’m pregnant again now and although I was so relaxed at home during labour, I don’t feel it’s worth the risk of complications at home and the unknown wait for an ambulance (last time was 45 mins) and I’m only 5 mins from the hospital.

That’s really interesting @Enko about the place of birth. I wonder why it’s done that way? On the other end of the spectrum my DGM died at home and when I registered her death our address was put on the certificate.

OP, I haven’t given birth before so feel free to disregard my thoughts, but how far are you from hospital? The journey seems to be a sticking point. My SIL had her second as a homebirth and couldn’t speak highly enough about it. She said the atmosphere was so much more relaxed and the midwife only had to focus on her, instead of lots of other ladies. I think a second midwife came towards the end. So can definitely see that the environment helps with suppressing adrenaline.

Dd2 was born in the bedroom dd3 was born in the dinning room. Dd1 and ds in the same room at the hospital. All of their birth certificates says the town hospital.

My home birth was registered with the home address as place of birth.
The registrar was very specific in checking exactly where they were born asking if it was definitely at home not in an ambulance on the way to the hospital etc.
I always wonder if we'd decided to drive in and not call 999 where exactly we'd have had to put as place of birth as I'd have given birth in the car.

Three of mine needed extended hospital stays due to jaundice and low blood sugar so I never planned a home birth. Although I'd probably have one if I had another baby as my last labour was 20 mins.

It is an odd one with the registration. Around the same time as DD3s birth, another friend birthed her 3rd in the ambulance on the way to the hospital on her dd's birth certificate it says " the roundabout by Shell garage on xx town" so I wonder if it has to do with different councils? I queried it at the time as I really minded it saying hospital when we had not been there.

Regarding the not being able to pee thing, I had an in and out catheter during my labours as after a certain point I couldn't empty my bladder properly. I was in a MLU so not at home but it may be something the home birth midwives are able to do.

Our second was hospital after a very complicated first birth. Was over and done with in two and a half hours, no pain relief, no complications. I still felt happier being in hospital, though.
My friend had her third at 40 in a MLU and said it was the best experience by far.

I had a homebirth with my first nearly 16 years ago. I wouldn't risk it now though because of the wait for an ambulance.

I've done all three methods but a long time ago. First induced hospital, on my back, gas and air only, hated the medicalisation and couldn't sleep at all in there. Second insisted on home birth , much more relaxed able to walk around, didn't use any painkillers but midwife taken by surprise at speed of last stage, wasn't ready so ruined new mattress and cream carpet🙄did lose quite a lot of blood and had some momentary worries about things going wrong with baby but was only 10 mins from hospital. Third midwife led unit attached to hospital, went to hospital 4.00am with midwife, had him by 9.30, stitched up and home for 2.00pm. All in all home was easiest labour for me but for reassurance of safety and less mess at home I think midwife led unit attached to hospital would be my choice.

I had a homebirth for my first and planning a other for my second. I am terrified of hospitals and know that I will panic and will end up with intervention after intervention and won't be able to stand up for myself as I am terrible at it especially when frightened.

Homebirth was a wonderful experience for me.

I had both of my children on an MLU. I did have to have a catheter with DD to empty my bladder which was done in the MLU so you may be able to have one at home?