Am I crazy to consider a home birth?

[nicola7865]

Hello, I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant with my second child. My first birth was absolutely not the most ideal situation and to be honest, I think I was totally underprepared for it.

To try and be brief: it was 38 hours from first contraction to my baby being born. The baby compressed on my urethra so I couldn't naturally pass urine, made my contractions more uncomfortable due to the feeling of needing to wee, had to beg for a catheter. Went to hospital 3 times before being admitted (2cm, 3cm then finally 4). Ended up with an epidural after 30 hours as I was just so tired. This lead to me needing the drip to speed things along and eventually the use of forceps which caused my baby to have a pneumothorax and end up in NICU for 4 days.

When I went for my initial midwife appointment with my second she said I was low risk and could even have a home birth if I wanted. Myself and my husband laughed it off to begin with after thinking about the first labour. However I'm really trying to approach this one with a new frame of mind. I'm getting into hypnobirthing (not so much the affirmations, but the meditation and the science behind it I really agree with) this has started to get me thinking maybe... just maybe I could do a home birth?

My reasoning for wanting one is because I've identified the worst part about the first labour was the car journeys, I found them excruciating. Having to do 5 of them there and back caused me the most trauma out of the whole labour. Learning about oxytocin and how it helps us progress, has made me quite confident that these journeys prolonged my labour. A home birth would prevent all of this.

But I'm just concerned that I couldn't birth at home, what happens if I can't pass urine again? What happens if my labour is just as long? What if this baby needs help? Also my husband bless him (a little traumatised from the first I think) has it in his head that if our first wasn't in hospital when she was born she would have died, 50% true she needed the help immediately, but also 50% I think false as all the medical interventions were the result of going to and from the hospital in the first place.

Anyway I'm not sure what I'm trying to get from this post... maybe some positive thoughts, some way to convince my husband it's a good idea. Someone to say no, go to hospital. Just any advice would be appreciated. Especially if you've had a rough first labour and a second home birth. Thanks for reading if you've got this far!

Thanks so many useful replies and a lot to think about. The hospital is a 20 minute drive away, I know that sounds like nothing but it's just getting my head around it. I'm half tempted to just go on all fours in the back and sod the seatbelt!
I think me and my husband will need to have a good chat about it all. Maybe discuss with the midwife too. It's all the what if's!

I've had a birth on the labour ward, in an MLU and most recenty, at home and the homebirth trumps the lot. It was super relaxed calm and I was able to cope with quite significant pain. He was born 4.5 hours after the first major contraction with no pain relief and the placenta was born without intervention. I felt calm ans confident in my ability to do this and the midwives (from Edgware birthing unit) were second to none. I had a bit of pushback from the NHS (from consultants I never saw) about my age (41) and going "overdue" but it was minimal.

So no, you're not crazy to be thinking about a homebirth. I say, go for it!

We had a home birth, it was our first, got a pool and partner was very determined to have one and she did, it was a doddle (her words not mine) no pain relief and no issues.

I'm writing this because she died, totally unrelated, a few months later but i know if she was still here she'd very much recommend it, it was a beautiful experience.

@Yahyahs22

I'm having a homebirth this time around for very similar circumstances. Hes due in a week and some days and I'm still very comfortable with my decision. Everything has been way smoother this time around and I'm not so stressed thinking about getting to the hospital. Everything is on my terms, (that I can control) and that brings me so much peace. I've been told they always have an ambulance spare for emergencies with births and babys so will get to hospital ASAP if needed. I would say go for it. Planning a homebirth this time round compared to planning for the hospital has just been so much more relaxing.

There is no spare ambulance sat waiting for labouring mothers.

On the catheter thing - I had a home birth with DD and afterwards the placenta wouldn’t come and they thought it was because my bladder was full and I couldn’t empty it properly. The midwives inserted the catheter, and they were right, there was a lot of wee, and then the placenta came. They said sometimes a full bladder gets in the way.

I think having a home birth is quite a personal, medical decision to be discussed with your midwives so I wouldn’t say I do/don’t recommend it. But just wanted to give my experience of having the catheter done at home.

@PurBal - ‘DH ruled out a home birth for us,’ Really? That is a decision for the person who is actually giving birth surely? OP I would absolutely go for a home birth. I had three and it was the best decision I ever made. I also think that UK hospitals are not currently safe places to give birth. At home you have the total focus of the midwives/s and if there is a problem it will be picked up and they are more likely to listen to you.

@PissedOffNeighbour22

I understand where you're coming from as my baby would have died if I hadn't been in the hospital BUT they caused it in the first place. If I'd been left to labour naturally I don't think I'd have ended up in the mess I was in.

I've just had a second baby and no way would I have ever considered a home birth. They aren't doing them in my area anyway but I personally think it's too high risk as there's so many things that can go wrong.

I only know one person that risked a home birth but her mum is a midwife and was on hand to deal with it.

Your language is very emotive ‘risked’ a home birth. There is good evidence that planned home births are as safe as hospital births. The stats don’t differentiate and include the unplanned home births which skews the data. Lots of the hospital interventions are done routinely without really focusing on each individual woman and her needs. Internal exams are not really necessary and yet people don’t know that they can refuse them. Foetal monitoring is often inaccurate, lack of continuity of care has a proven detrimental effect on labouring women and the post natal care is generally shocking. You only have to look at the findings of the Ockenden Report to see how bad things are.

@Enko

I have had 2 homebirths 1 hospital birth and 1 transfer.

So I answer to your question of what happens if you cant pee again and need a catheter. You transfer to hospital.

The midwives will drop of a kit and they will bring with them a resuscitation unit so if baby struggles to breathe they will deal with that and call an ambulance to transfer you both.

For me I had positive home birth experiences not as positive a transfer and a positive hospital birth (with an epidural) the not so positive transfer was due to a consultant who threw a tantrum (he actually stormed out slamming the door when I was not wanting to speed up labour ) and a midwife who only understood what I was aiming for at the very end of the labour. In retrospect we should have asked for a different midwife.

My homebirths were calm and supported experiences after dd2s birth (first homebirth) i looked up at dh and said "I want to do that again!" I was on such a high I felt the highest rush of achievement I've ever known. I've never done "that" again as each birth is different. If you go with a homebirth i would recommend you get a 2nd person there as support who will take over the tea making and toast making etc ensuring dhs job is to remain close to you. Someone you trust ( mum mil best friend or a doula) this also means dh has someone to support him if he is feeling off.

Dh was not fully on board first time I said I wanted a homebirth. By no 2 and 3 he was very on board. He felt far closer involved and a part of at home than in hospital.

Dd2 was born in the bedroom dd3 was born in the dinning room. Dd1 and ds in the same room at the hospital. All of their birth certificates says the town hospital.

Our birth certificate for our Homebirth shows our address.

You're going to do a huge amount of research I'm sure, so there's no point in me telling you what could go wrong etc, ultimately you have to make the decision for yourself.

I had my third as a planned home birth and it was a breeze. The only (very) slight issue was that I needed an episiotomy, but they just sewed me up on my lounge floor.. It was fine! I was then sat on my own sofa with a blanket, baby, and cup of tea. Brilliant. Dp loved it, too, even though it was a close call with midwives arriving 5 minutes before babies head started crowning (my own fault, I forgot how quick I go from 'yeah this is very manageable pain' to screaming like a banshee and begging someone to just pull the baby out ).

There's lots of data available on the safety and risks of home and hospital births, which I used to guide my decision but I am very black and white like that and for me the data spoke for itself. There's no mlu near me so it was one or the other really.
You don't have to decide 100% either way - I didn't. I decided (with support from my midwife) to plan for a home birth but was I was totally open to going to hospital. I had a bag ready and honestly believed I'd end up there. As it was, I was 9cm when she arrived shortly after I called to say I thought things were happening so I decided to stay.
It reassured me that the threshold for transfer to hospital is very low - any sign of trouble and they'll transfer you.
Home births are currently suspended in my area due to the pressures on the ambulance service so it's worth checking!

A home birth is not a risk, it is just giving birth with two dedicated Midwives in the comfort of your own home. The statistics are all there to back this up.

I did it, it was fantastic.

All I would say is, look in to it further, and then if you're not comfortable then don't do it. The key is to give birth where you feel safe and relaxed.

I had my baby 2 weeks ago at home and thanks to that experience, my fear attached to labour has gone. I loved it so much.

I had a home birth and in my area there IS an ambulance on call while baby is crowning. Mine was sat in my drive and the paramedics on my stairs till baby was delivered and the midwives gave them the go ahead to leave.

I also haemorrhaged with my first, had a traumatic hospital birth, delivered with 2 specialists and lost the baby (very premature). Being in a hospital doesn't guarantee you anything. It may be safer if you're high risk but in the grand scheme for low risk mothers it is better to have a home birth. Less intranventions, less stress and ultimately a calmer (can labour truly ever be calm?) experience.

My second I had at home, had a couple of complications the midwives dealt with and delivered normally, minor second degree left to heal naturally and was back on my feet within no time.

How long ago was this? Most ambulance trusts are at breaking point so as good as it would be I can't imagine there would be an ambulance on call for home births at the moment.

Yes.

Probably worth reading this thread...
Midwife, specialising in home birth, AMA www.mumsnet.com/Talk/AMA/4587498-midwife-specialising-in-home-birth-ama

I think you need a proper debrief with a non defensive MW so you can find out exactly how many interventions wouldn't have been necessary had you been at home or a different course of action taken. Sometimes a bad first birth in hospital is because of being in hospital! But then how it all unfolded gets dismissed and so you're encouraged to be closer to help next time. That's not to say I know what you should do. Just some things to consider...

You need to talk your midwife and also possibly a consultant (if they think that's necessary after last time). All we can do here is share our experiences.

I planned a homebirth with my first but ended up pushing for too long at home. My midwife said I was at risk of a haemorrhage so transferred me in by ambulance where I had a ventouse delivery and lost rather a lot of blood. To be honest that made me feel even safer having a home delivery. I felt completely looked after and secure knowing they would make the right calls for me even when things went wrong. Even when I went to the hospital my midwives were still with me and advocated for me. Alhough it wasn't ideal circumastances I felt I had had first class care.

My second was born at home and I totally had the whole "I want to do it again" moment after birth. I felt euphoric, like super-woman.

I think it helps that where we are you have the same midwives for your appointments and your labour if you are having a home birth. I knew my midwife really well as I had the same one for most of my appointments, for both my deliveries and the follow up appointments after the babies arrived. She spent time getting to know me during the pregnancies and we talked about how I tended to react when scared or in pain. It meant when I called her and told her I might possibly be in in early stages of labour she didn't wait but immediately rushed over - knowing I have a tendency to underplay things - and despite her taking only 15 mins to arrive I was already fully dilated. She also knew my husband was very squeamish so made sure he wasn't asked to cut the cord or watch the baby actually be born. Getting to know my midwife was an amazing experience and one I wish more people could have regardless of place of birth.

@mummyh2016 2 years ago

It can depend on your age. I had my two dc's at 37 and 39. I had 40 hours of labor followed by an emergency cs with my first dc. He would be dead if I hadn't been in hospital. I had the second one in hospital (vbac). I would be dead if I had done a home birth. If I had it to do all over again, I would do elective c-sections with both.

My second baby would have died if I’d had a home birth. Emergencies are unpredictable. I had a normal labour at term, with no pain relief or any medication at all, and no risk factors.
Thankfully I was in hospital with a paediatric crash team when DD delivered with an Apgar score of 1, barely a heartbeat, convulsing from an intracerebral bleed, hemiplegic and unable to breathe. It took intracardiac adrenaline, 3 different IV anticonvulsants, intubation, ventilation and admission to neonatal ITU, plus a brain scan to locate the haemorrhage.
She survived, and came home a week later, none the worse. District midwives have neither the specialist drugs nor the skills to handle such a critically ill baby, and DD would not have survived the wait for an ambulance or the lengthy transfer to hospital from my rural village.