Refusing internal exams by male staff?

[Lalala1985]

Just wondering if it's acceptable to refuse internal exams by male staff at hospital? I'm a high risk pregnancy and likely to be induced which from what I understand means internal examinations are needed. A lot of the obstetricians at my hospital are male and I just don't feel comfortable with a man sticking his hand up there .

You can refuse any medical treatment you wish however I’d make sure you’re not putting yourself or your baby at risk by doing so. I do understand your concerns as I had multiple internal exams (by male and female midwives) during my induced Labour with dd 18 years ago and I found it very traumatic but I’m not entirely sure how they’d know whether you’re safe to push or whether you’d need further intervention without them. Maybe others might know more.

I think you can but I would suppose it depends on the circumstances. If the available qualified person is a male and it's an emergency then maybe it's necessary. You can write on your birth preferences that you prefer to be seen by women

You don't have to answer: is it due to trauma? Religion? Or you just don't like the idea? It can seem strange to go to a male gynaecologist but the ones I've seen were fantastic. And I went to them after having problems with women gynaecologists 🤦🏻‍♀️

@grey12

I think you can but I would suppose it depends on the circumstances. If the available qualified person is a male and it's an emergency then maybe it's necessary. You can write on your birth preferences that you prefer to be seen by women

You don't have to answer: is it due to trauma? Religion? Or you just don't like the idea? It can seem strange to go to a male gynaecologist but the ones I've seen were fantastic. And I went to them after having problems with women gynaecologists 🤦🏻‍♀️

I guess I'm you could call it trauma, I don't have an issue with females doing them, I mean I don't find them comfortable but it's bearable, I usually ask for a female nurse when I have a smear test for the same reason. I feel bad as it's a bit sexist, but I've also been really put off by the male obstetricians at my hospital, one of them I've complained against and have asked that he has no involvement in my care whatsoever (he kept talking over me and ignoring my concerns as wasn't even capable of wearing his mask properly!) whereas the female consultants have all been amazing. I just found it strange that I've seen in a lot of birth plan examples things like examinations on request/ no student midwives / quiet rooms but not the option to request internal checks by a female which to me would make a huge difference in how relaxed I feel. I get that if there's an emergency then there's no choice, and in that case the most important is baby and my health, but for things like cervix checks during early stages of induction where ill be trying to avoid syntocinon and trying to get oxytocin flowing naturally, having a male do internal checks would just cause me unnecessary stress.

Are you certain induction will be necessary OP?

When I gave birth I didn’t have any internals, they were offered but I declined.

Obviously if you have an induction things are a bit different but it’s worth interrogating how necessary one is for your specific situation

@PinkPlantCase

Are you certain induction will be necessary OP?

When I gave birth I didn’t have any internals, they were offered but I declined.

Obviously if you have an induction things are a bit different but it’s worth interrogating how necessary one is for your specific situation

Not if I go into labour naturally before my due date!

I guess I could ask for monitoring instead, but I really have no pattern to my movements and they seem to change in frequency and intensity day to day so I've found the pregnancy to be really stressful anyway, and if I went over I'd just be a bag of nerves/going in all the time for reduced movements when they are just fine, as I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ignored the consultants advice and something went wrong. I have about 5 separate risk factors, 2 of which my trusts policy is induction on due date.

I'm really hoping that if it comes to needing an induction, I can just have the balloon/pessary and then my body take over.

I specified female only HCPs in my notes. Unless a medical emergency.

@Sexnotgender

I specified female only HCPs in my notes. Unless a medical emergency.

Same.

I was attended to by an all-female team.

I declined internal examinations OP and said I would only consider it in an emergency, so you don't even need women down there.

@Harlequin1088 jeez. Read the OPs posts. She mentions trauma. Many women have very valid reasons for being uncomfortable with men in certain situations. Blimey, no compassion at all??

@Harlequin1088 as you ‘don’t understand’, perhaps take a moment to consider why a woman who has said she is traumatised might make such a request before writing such a patronising and rude reply.

@Lalala1985

Just wondering if it's acceptable to refuse internal exams by male staff at hospital? I'm a high risk pregnancy and likely to be induced which from what I understand means internal examinations are needed. A lot of the obstetricians at my hospital are male and I just don't feel comfortable with a man sticking his hand up there .

You can refuse internals - I did! I essentially had no interventions.

I recommend filling the naked doula on Instagram - helped me loads.

@MiniatureHotdog I don’t mean to sound like I’m lacking compassion and I completely get that different people have suffered different trauma in their lives but I just think dismissing a doctor’s expertise based on their sex is nonsensical when you’re in a high risk pregnancy situation. Especially with the NHS stretched as thin as it is, I just think that if there’s a risk to the OP or her child when it comes down to the brass tacks of being in labour, it should be a case of whoever is on duty with the appropriate qualifications that deals with her. I just don’t feel it’s fair to put pressure on NHS staff and have them running about trying to find an available female doctor when there’s perfectly capable male doctors standing there like lemons. I’m currently 37 weeks pregnant with my first baby and in all honesty even if I did have an aversion to male doctors for whatever reason then I don’t think I’d feel fair insisting on female only. They’ve got enough on their plate. The only question I’d be asking would be “Have you got a medical degree? Right well take a butcher’s down there and tell me what’s going on!”

@Harlequin1088 clearly we have different interpretations of what compassion is.

Should NHS staff be further stretched because a person has suffered previous trauma that means they require amendments to the usual care offered? Absolutely. 100%.

@Harlequin1088 those are the choices you make, someone with a different experience may assess differently. That’s ok.

What people are telling you isn’t ok is your language and attitude to OP in your first post.

Look at it again, and think about why it might have been upsetting. Then think about whether that was necessary.

As a clue, not referring to someone's trauma as "nonsensical" would be a good start.

I would be grateful for any help you can get! Especially if you are high risk, you want the best medical person at that time it doesn't matter what sex they are

I was induced a week ago and they were incredibly reluctant to do any internal exams "because I'd been induced". I asked for one a couple of times but was basically told no. I got one at 8cm and that was it.

@EdgeOfACoin and @Sexnotgender thanks that's good to know

@Harlequin1088 I get they are overstretched and I know they are medical professionals and that they are in no way perving. But also the more comfortable and relaxed you are, the less medical interventions are likely to be needed, therefore relieving pressure on staff, and being less of a risk for me and baby. You're allowed to decline medical students for this reason - they have to train somehow right? So why not be able to decline internals done by males?
I was just wondering whether that's a possibility.
What's the point in having all the low light, quiet, aromatherapy etc that hospitals now reccommend to help oxytocin and make delivery easier if that get ruined by anxiety during internal examinations?
You write a birth plan for what would make you feel most comfortable and to me thanks to past experiences, that makes a huge difference.

They will try to respect your wishes but if you need a dr it will be the available person. I had a male ob, all you care about in labour is safe delivery

I declined all internals as several have here, including for an induction - not to do with the sex of the staff.

It is your right to decline whatever you wish for whatever reason you wish.

All internals were done by midwives btw

@Peppermint81

I would be grateful for any help you can get! Especially if you are high risk, you want the best medical person at that time it doesn't matter what sex they are

Absolutely, I'm talking about the induction process where there will be a lot of waiting around. Not in an emergency during labour itself.

@gogohm

All internals were done by midwives btw

That's good to know thanks. All the midwives have been lovely so far .