Refusing internal exams by male staff?

[Lalala1985]

Just wondering if it's acceptable to refuse internal exams by male staff at hospital? I'm a high risk pregnancy and likely to be induced which from what I understand means internal examinations are needed. A lot of the obstetricians at my hospital are male and I just don't feel comfortable with a man sticking his hand up there .

I had the drip in my first labour although I started naturally and it ended in an emcs and only the midwives examined me. The doctor came in asked questions and went through the consent for emcs but that was it.
Second labour VBAC I did have a couple of exams by a male doctor near the end but after the second the midwife told him to leave and we would manage thank you Second labour was all natural

I needed to have an internal exam done by a male doctor which was horrible.

It was when things went a bit iffy and the emergency button was pressed and the team that came in happened to be headed by a male doctor.

It’s not a nice situation to be put in because as others have said I was obviously focussed on a safe delivery and my baby and it was what needed to happen so I consented, BUT I still couldn’t help find it really horrible and traumatic that a strange man was doing such an intimate procedure at such a vulnerable and painful time. It’s weird because whilst I was so thankful for a healthy baby and safe birth I still felt a bit shaken and traumatised by it afterwards and it makes me feel iffy even now. But you’re kind of backed into a corner.

The only question I’d be asking would be “Have you got a medical degree? Right well take a butcher’s down there and tell me what’s going on!”

Lucky you. I let a man deliver dc1 because I was too polite to advocate for myself even though he himself on reading my notes had offered to wake the on-call consultant. He (accidentally) triggered my ptsd and according to the psychiatrist I wound up in front of was a major factor to my psychotic break. It took a while before I could separate the event which caused the ptsd from the arrival of my child, affected my ability to bond and led to multiple suicide attempts. Sometimes there are more factors to consider.

By the way, my second was delivered by a lovely lesbian doctor (there was a midwife shortage so she sat with me, talking about her wife amongst other things). Not wanting a male doctor has nothing to do with the fear that they'll be attracted to you.

OP, I had zero issues getting a female team for dc2.

If your not comfortable with it then let them know. They will however tell u why it's important it's done and no doubt convince you.

I was induced for my first and they had a student with them so every time I had an internal I had 2! I did agree as I felt bad for the student but I wish I hadn't. I had at least about 8-10 examinations over 12/13hr period. Combination of midwives, student and doctors. Ended up with an infection and an emcs, long hospital stay with both myself and baby on antibiotics. I do think this might have caused/contributed to it.

Don't be embarrassed to write it in the "birth preferences". btw don't call it a birth plan, trust me you can't plan anything....

I know some people don't really see the point but it's a great way for you to learn more about everything that happens during labour. You don't need 3 pages. Just a couple of things you'd like them to know. Being in a labour is difficult and sometimes you just don't have the head to fully understand what's happening around you and communicate with everyone.

You have the absolute right to say that you only want a biological female doing internal examinations.

It’s YOUR body. NO ONE can put ANYTHING inside you without consent. If you want a female to do it (if at all!) that’s up to you. Internal exams aren’t even necessary. Cervical dilation doesn’t really say much about how much longer you have to go (as you can dilate very very quickly!!) and internals themselves are a risk as introduce bacteria etc internally when nothing should be put up there really! A decent midwife or consultant will be able to gauge what stage a woman is at by her behaviour. A sweep is an induction, too.
Yes one argument is “as long as baby is delivered safely that’s all that matters” but I respectfully disagree. How the mother feels matters a LOT and affects how she feels postpartum too.

When I was pregnant (high risk) I was told that internal exams were only used when women had a healthy pregnancy and who didn’t opt for hospital-led labour wards. If you have opted for a hospital-led delivery then most hospitals will try to provide continuous monitoring instead.

It's absolutely up to you.

However, I would have a think about what you would like to happen in an emergency situation or where waiting for a woman meant delay. My experience was that I went into hospital worrying that people would be trying to force medical care on me that I didn't want and the reality was that the staff were so overwhelmed that we had the opposite problem- too little care not too much. Eg I was keen to avoid continuous monitoring at the start of my induction, but the reality was that there was one monitor available that had to serve four women and we took it in turns being monitored for a bit- I couldn't have had continuous monitoring if I'd begged for it!

That's not intended to be negative but only to say it's worth thinking about how you'd feel if eg the only doctor on hand was male, and worth talking to your partner (if you have one) ahead, so that he or she can speak on your behalf if necessary.

Up to you entirely. I had a male midwife when I went into labour at 30 weeks, and a male consultant who finally delivered my twins at 31 weeks. At that point I couldn't give a flying fuck about who they were. If I had refused I probably wouldn't have my kids, and I wouldn't be here either.

I was induced on my due date last year

I had 1 internal examination where a female midwife did my sweep & then I declined all internal intervention from then on as my Labour progressed quickly they monitored me with the machine for half an hour and then I gave birth ..... but you can absolutely refuse a male or anybody doing internal examinations

I had a completely hands off birth for both of my DC. I refused everything. I felt very strongly that as I was the one having to give birth I had the right do things my own way. I know I’d have ended up with multiple interventions and trauma if I’d done as I was told

Excellent article on why women matter www.positivebirthmovement.org/ahealthybabyisnotallthatmatters/

@Harlequin1088 What disgusting comments.

Inflicting harm on patients because safeguarding them is "inconvenient" is precisely why today we are reading about hundreds of lives lost and irreparably harmed by the Shrewsbury and Telford Trust.

Your comments are despicable and ignorant.

REALLY not wanting to offend anyone but can I ask about some of you declining any internal exams?

Why did you refuse? Are they not medically neccassary? Surely they aren't offered for the fun of it. Was extra monitoring out in place because of refusal?

I've had 2 sections and this pregnancy will be (hopefully) natural, so I am genuinely curious.

I put in my birth plan and notes that I would not allow a male midwife. However when it came later to surgery there’s not really any choice: you get whoever is best qualified and available to sew you back up (and there don’t seem to be many women who do surgery round here). Hopefully you won’t need any stiches but if you do just go with the flow.

@Mummywantsaweewee

It’s YOUR body. NO ONE can put ANYTHING inside you without consent. If you want a female to do it (if at all!) that’s up to you. Internal exams aren’t even necessary. Cervical dilation doesn’t really say much about how much longer you have to go (as you can dilate very very quickly!!) and internals themselves are a risk as introduce bacteria etc internally when nothing should be put up there really! A decent midwife or consultant will be able to gauge what stage a woman is at by her behaviour. A sweep is an induction, too. Yes one argument is “as long as baby is delivered safely that’s all that matters” but I respectfully disagree. How the mother feels matters a LOT and affects how she feels postpartum too.

Totally agree with this. I dilated very quickly but allowed a (female) midwife to do an internal exam to see why the second stage was so slow. (Turned out this was because baby had a big head. Not rocket science is it.)

I didn’t know it could introduce infection.

I then had a very serious infection post-childbirth and live with permanent consequences. I don’t know if the bacteria came from the midwife doing internals, or some other part of the process, but I regret allowing the internal exam. The exam didn’t change the labour merely reassured the midwife that I was indeed fully dilated.

I specified female only HCP, and also no vaginal exams to even be offered unless emergency and then to be discussed and gained consent first.

MY first labour was on delivery suite and was a bit early. At the time I didn't think I cared about the no of staff coming in and out and who they were, but in hindsight it really slowed down my labour and the efficacy of my contractions sub-consciously just having strangers around and especially when it was male staff. you really need to feel safe and secure and it is your body and your birth and absolutely fine to state what would help you achieve that!

@NewName9273

REALLY not wanting to offend anyone but can I ask about some of you declining any internal exams?

Why did you refuse? Are they not medically neccassary? Surely they aren't offered for the fun of it. Was extra monitoring out in place because of refusal?

I've had 2 sections and this pregnancy will be (hopefully) natural, so I am genuinely curious.

This answers your question www.aims.org.uk/information/item/vaginal-examinations-in-labour

And no, I had no monitoring and no examinations. The midwives were fine with that

@BaileysBreakfast thank you! Very informative!