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Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Scared of Giving Birth

27 replies

Plussizemummy · 02/01/2008 23:21

Hello All,

I'm 33 weeks pregnant and had a growth scan today. Apparently DD already weighs 6lbs 14ozs and they estimate that she will weigh 9.5lbs if I give birth at 40 weeks. Now I'm terrified of giving birth to a such a big baby. I know that these growth scans are sometimes inaccurate, but all I can think about now is how much is going to hurt.
Anyone had a big baby and how was it?

Thanks!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

talktothebees · 02/01/2008 23:25

I also had a 34 week scan and it was very wrong. Please don't stress. What are your birth plans so far?

Original poster

Plussizemummy · 02/01/2008 23:28

TBH I haven't made any plans. Too scared to think about it. Kinda thinking that if I bury my head in the sand that it will all go away/take care of itself. Probably sounds stupid, but I don't want to think about it.

OP posts:

LynetteScavo · 02/01/2008 23:29

The size of your baby doesn't necessarily dictate how much labour will hurt. The more relaxed you are, the easier labour will be. Also, the size of the babys head, and how it comes out, is more important than the size of the baby over all, IME.

chunkypudding · 02/01/2008 23:30

no experience myself but I was 9lbs 14 when I was born and mum says I was the easiest of her 3 births! (the other 2 were smaller...)

hope that is some help!

also think that they are often inaccurate with weight on scans...

bethoo · 02/01/2008 23:30

i was told that your body does not make a baby that you can not push out. also that if baby is in wrong position for birth it would hurt even if it was only 5 lbs. you would nto be normal if you were not scared, especially as it is your first. the fear is more of not being in control of your own body than of the pain. i admit it hurt but there is so many good pain relief for you to choose. once your little baby arrives you will realise that the labour and all that comes with it was worth it. there are medical staff who support you all throughout your labour. take care

Beauregard · 02/01/2008 23:32

I wouldn't worry about the birth weight tbh,most of the time the estimate is incorrect.

Regardless of the weight of your baby it is going to hurt yes but there are painrelief options.

All i can say to you is that i was really scared about giving birth ,my 1st labour was relatively short so no time for painrelief in the hospital.My 2nd was at home with no medical assistance and only my dp to catch our dd2.
Believe me when i say that if i can do it you most certainly can.I am a complete wimp when it comes to pain and despite the births being quick they were by no means less painful.The pain was so sudden and intense with constant contractions but i did it twice .

What you are feeling is normal and i know that if i was pregnant with number 3 now that i would still be worrying about the birth.

Good luck

Beauregard · 02/01/2008 23:33

Do not let my name put you off ,lol.
I am not that bad

LynetteScavo · 02/01/2008 23:33

You sound like me when I was pregnant with DS1. It's not the best attitude, unless you plan to demand an epidural on entering the hotpital.

Read as much as you can - Sheila Kitzinger,
Grantly Dick Read - Michael Odent - Marie F Mongan.

Take control. If you think the profesionals are going to get the baby out for you, that is exactly what will happen.

talktothebees · 02/01/2008 23:35

doesn't sound stupid at all. It's kind of a good approach to somthing that will happen anyway.

All you can do is prepare yourself best and then deal with any complications as they arise. these cds are really good. The baby's position really does matter more than it's size.

why did you have the late scan, if you don't mind me asking?

somersetmum · 02/01/2008 23:35

I had a late scan too (about 36 weeks) and the baby was measured as weighing 7lb 14oz on the day of the scan. I was told that she would gain half an ounce a day until her birth, but she was born five weeks later and weighed a mere(!) 8lb 1oz.

Don't worry and good luck.

Original poster

Plussizemummy · 02/01/2008 23:36

Thanks all. I guess I'm just being a bit of a chicken. Just hate the idea of pain. I cried when I had my ears pierced when I was 14....lol

Any ideas on what I should have in a birth plan?

OP posts:

Original poster

Plussizemummy · 02/01/2008 23:38

Hi Talk - Had a late scan because I kept measuring 3-4cm ahead at all of my antenatal appointments.

OP posts:

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 02/01/2008 23:42

Just picking up on your name (and please feel free to tell me to mind my own business) but if you are "plus size" as I am, medical staff can tend to assume that you will have a big baby, or that you are at risk of having a big one. I had a midwife who would put her hand on my bump (made even bigger by lots of obvious fat) and say "ooooh you're having a BIG ONE!!!" and my massive baby was a puny 7lb 2oz!

Growth scans are a guide, they can't tell you for definite sure how big the baby is, anymore than a midwife feeling your belly can. Plenty of people have been told the baby will be huge only for it to be mostly water.

Phatmouse · 02/01/2008 23:42

My brother was over 10lbs and my mother can still walk, I wouldn't worry too much

Phatmouse · 02/01/2008 23:42

My brother was over 10lbs and my mother can still walk, I wouldn't worry too much

Phatmouse · 02/01/2008 23:42

My brother was over 10lbs and my mother can still walk, I wouldn't worry too much

talktothebees · 02/01/2008 23:48

i'd be happy to email you my birth plan if it would help you as a starting point. Must warn you though that it's whole aim was to make sure everyone left me the f* alone which may not be what you want.

The most important thing now is that you think about what you want. Are you still working?

LynetteScavo · 03/01/2008 10:13

Sorry if I seemed harsh yesterday, but I think the more scared you are of the pain, the more it hurts, which is why is important to be as relaxed as possible. Think of anything that will help to to relax.

Remember, there is pain releif to help you. If you do find the pain to much, you can always have an epidural.

Have you considered hypnobirthing? It really can help to relive fear and help you relax. Tehre are quite a few old threads on it.

cece · 03/01/2008 10:24

DS was over 11 lbs and I can honestly say he was easier to get out than his 8 lb sister. I also had to have stitches after having DD but not with DS. So please don't worry too much. Your body only makes babies that you can give birth to...

Dinosaur · 03/01/2008 10:25

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

mrspnut · 03/01/2008 10:28

I had a 10lb 1oz baby after an induction with no pain relief and very minimal tearing.

I did this by being upright all the way through. I hung off the sink in the delivery room for most of it only stopping to go to the toilet.

When I felt the need to push, the midwife tried to get me to lie on the bed and very unhelpfully told me try to imagine pushing up a hill. which didn't help at all so I went back to standing and then knelt by the side of the bed so I had something to dig my fingers into.

It took a long time to actually deliver her because she had a very big head but by being upright gravity helped a lot and my only tear was a small one on my labia which the midwife missed at the time.

I can't stress enough about letting gravity help you - if you're laid down then it's pushing the baby towards your back and you have to work harder to give birth.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 03/01/2008 10:29

I was in exactly the same boat as you 2 years ago when DS1 was born.
As soon as i did the pregnancy test and got the BFP I though 'This baby will have to come out in 9 months'.
DH and I were both 8lb something at birth and I was terrified of how big our baby would be.
Scans told me DS would be around 8lb so I thought fine, only 1lb over the average.
I did lots of reading so I knew what to expect once labour begand and made sure I understood how contractions worked etc (though I find it all very facinating, others may find it boring!) I always had my nose in a book.
I made a birth plan, made sure DH knew what I wanted and DS1 was bron in water in the hospital. During the birth I felt very confident. You must keep your mind positive and confident and be confident that your body can do it even when your brain is saying run to the hills, woman, get out of here!!
DS1 was 9lb9.5 born.
As he was my first, the way it went and his weight seemed normal to me. To me he was tiny, but to everyone else there, he was huge.
When I fell pregnant with DS2, I did not get an overwhelming panic or anything and did not worry about giving birth.
I had scans that said they thought he would be 11lb+, then I got a bit worried as they said if they thought he exceeded 11 by 40 weeks they would arrange a section for me which I really did not want.
In the end I went for days over and gave birth within 24 hours of having a sweep after being told I had 48 hours, then if no baby, they would induce me via a drip, then possibly CS if no luck.
As with DS1, DS2 was born in the same pool at the hosp. only 14m later and it all went well.
During transistion though, I began to let the pain get the better of me and said I couldn't do it and was going to die but the MW who I really liked and was there for DS1s birth also, told me firmly but politely to pull myself together as I was not helping myself or the baby getting hysterical and that everything would be okay.
It was okay and DS2 was 10lb12.5 without a scratch to my dainty bits.

In conclusion, both times were fine and I actually enjoyed giving birth. It is so exciting!

The way they spook you with 'OMG your baby is going to be HUGE!' especially to first timers is terrible I think. I don't think they should really say anything as usually they are wrong and unless the baby really is HUGE, there is seldom any reason birth should be a prob.

Try not to get worked up about it. What I kept in my mind was that as DS1 was my first I didn't know any better, so hey ho!

You will be fine.

BrummieOnTheRun · 03/01/2008 11:44

Natural to be worried, but your mental attitude does affect your labour. The good news is that there are things you can do. My top 3 suggestions:

Gowri Motha's Gentle Birth Method book (and CDs if you can afford them).
Hypnobirthing (also covered by GBM, but many other practitioners using similar techniques. See hypnobirthing thread on the go at the moment).
If you are small and worried about large-for-dates baby, then worth looking at your diet. If you are eating excessive carbs and sugar, cut back and supplement with non-starchy veg and salad.

You'll be fine. Epidurals are great if the pain gets too much, just stay off your back during labour!

Minkus · 04/01/2008 13:17

Plussizemummy

I agree with what most of the other posters have said, te better prepared you are for what's to come the better you will cope with it! I know it's a bit scary but read up as much as you can on all the various options available, you don't need to make your decisions immediately about how you would like to be treated but just knowing what could happen will take away some of the fear of the unknown. Being scared blocks your natural painkillers so if you are really scared during labour because stuff is going on that you don't understand then it's gonna hurt a whole lot more!

And like someone else said, you can so do this- yes it WILL hurt but you can get through it, it's what your body is designed for. There are some really positive birth stories here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1365/197093

Good luck!
x

VictorianSqualor · 04/01/2008 13:32

When I was pg with DD I ahd her at32 weeks, was told she would be around 2lb (from scan) she weighed 5lb 1.5 oz, they then told me DS would be at least ten pounds, he weighed 8lb 7.5oz.

It's really hard to accurately get weight results from scans.

Also, IIRC, bigger babies can come out better because of the gravity, and the effect of a larger head on your cervix??

I'm sure someone knows the real scientific bits behind that!!!

WRT a birthplan, I'm happy to email you mine too, if you want to see it, you'll just have to ignore the bit that says about 'VBA2C.

Here is the one I used mainly for my template.

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