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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Suddenly terrified!!

66 replies

Llicdd · 31/10/2021 09:46

I've just passed 39 weeks. I don't feel 39 weeks, the last few weeks have flown by and been the easiest of my pregnancy journey. The birth seemed somewhere in the future that it didn't seem 'real'. Now it's on top of me, the realisation has set in that this could be any day now!!! I've planned a home birth with gas and air and I'm so scared of how bad the pain might be. I've no idea what to expect, have been on the verge of tears a few times. I am literally terrified!!!! Can anyone relate?!

OP posts:
Em2122 · 31/10/2021 19:59

I was really worried about my first birth but it really is no where near as bad as it’s made out to be on forums like these. My second I had no gas and air and was fine. I think it’s the medical stuff which makes it so much worse, like inductions and epidurals they make you feel awful

Mossstitch · 31/10/2021 21:08

I was induced in hospital with first and used gas and air but opted for home birth with next and so much easier that I didn't even use gas and air as just wanted freedom to move around. Just go with what comes naturally and all will be fine. If it was that bad everybody would stop at one😉 I used the mantra 'this time tomorrow will all be over'. 💐👍

CorpusCallosum · 31/10/2021 21:49

@Sexnotgender

Remember it takes a few rounds of gas and air for the nausea to pass.

I didn’t know that and after I initially tried it I thought I didn’t like it but midwife told me to persevere with it for a couple of contractions and I’m so glad I did. That shit is the best!

Oh my god. I had no idea this was the case. I nearly commend when they finally gave me gas and air and refused it after that, wish I had persevered now. Pg with number 2 so I will remember this, thank you!!
CorpusCallosum · 31/10/2021 21:52

#nearly vommed - EDIT BUTTON PLEASE!!

Also came to say I remember the first-time-fear, it was a special kind of torture waiting for it to start.

When you're in it you're in it though, your body takes over and you just do what you need to. Have extra drugs if you need them and know you'll be ok in the end.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 31/10/2021 21:54

Honestly, didn’t hurt at all. Literally zero pain. I’ve had worse hangovers. I did hypnobirthing so obviously hypnotised throughout. Hypnosis can be as effective as very strong painkillers.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 31/10/2021 22:04

@Em2122

I was really worried about my first birth but it really is no where near as bad as it’s made out to be on forums like these. My second I had no gas and air and was fine. I think it’s the medical stuff which makes it so much worse, like inductions and epidurals they make you feel awful
@Em2122

how the hell can you speak for other people?
you have no idea what others have gone through so maybe it wasn't that bad for you but do not dare to belittle and dismiss the experiences of others just because you had it easy.

and then you blame the medical stuff for inductions and epidurals?
so when a baby is 14 days overdue and you need to be induced it's the midwives fault?
have you even had inductions & epidurals?
you sound very uneducated on why these are offered and used

Em2122 · 01/11/2021 04:51

I know they can’t be helped, I have experienced a natural labour and one with inductions and all interventions, going natural in much less painful, obviously it can’t be helped in some cases though

HeartvsBrain · 01/11/2021 05:49

After my first baby I used to joke that I only got pregnant for the Entonox! It is wonderful stuff and I believe that home midwives do use it. Whether they would have enough with them would be a slight worry to me, as I love the stuff. Most hospitals have it piped these days. The highest likelihood is that you will have a straight forward birth, especially if you are healthy, in your twenties or early thirties, have had an easy pregnancy, and have no family history of difficult or multuple births. I had 3 children, the first labour was the hardest and longest, but it was fine, and all forgotten about once my PFB was born. However, I would always advocate having a hospital birth, especially for your first; not only do you have much more pain relief available to you, but also surgeons just in case things do become a little difficult. If you do change your mind about a home birth please don't be too embarrassed to say so, none of the medics will mind. Anyway, please come back in 4 weeks OP and tell us about your wonderful new born 💐
ps Yes, I became terrified on the last few days of my pregnancy too, but there was no need, as I said, with the Entonox it was fine 😊

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 01/11/2021 06:03

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

Honestly, didn’t hurt at all. Literally zero pain. I’ve had worse hangovers. I did hypnobirthing so obviously hypnotised throughout. Hypnosis can be as effective as very strong painkillers.
OP, a lot of people will tell you hypnobirthing is the way to a pain free birth. DH’s cousin had her first baby just before me and told me the reason I had been in pain was because I didn’t use hypnobirthing. Her baby was 4lb. My baby was 8lb. I was never going to do hypnobirthing because I thought it was ridiculous. After she had her second - a much larger baby - she admitted to me that maybe size had had more to do with it than hypnobirthing.

I’m not saying hypnobirthing wouldn’t work for you but everyone is different. Loads of people are talking about how much they loved gas and air and I hated the stuff. Everyone’s labours are different and, if something doesn’t work for you as advertised, that is not a failing on your part.

sjxoxo · 01/11/2021 06:07

@BeingATwatItsABingThing your dd1 experience is terrifying to me.. that’s another worry I’ll have now 😂 I’ve got 10wks to go

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 01/11/2021 06:13

[quote sjxoxo]@BeingATwatItsABingThing your dd1 experience is terrifying to me.. that’s another worry I’ll have now 😂 I’ve got 10wks to go[/quote]
Which bit? I’ve posted twice so I’m not sure which bit you’re worried about.

Galaxyinmypocket · 01/11/2021 06:19

I cant believe I have read "it's not as bad as it's made out to be on MN" probably one of the stupidest comments I've came across yet.

Good luck. Your body will take over, there'll probably be no time to worry when the contractions start, you'll just go with it and find any strategy that works for you in the moment. Then you'll have your little treasure in your arms and every second of pain will have been worth it.

Housebears · 01/11/2021 08:51

Honestly I couldn’t wait to get to hospital with both of mine!

I would try and go with the flow and see how you feel. I managed on gas and air both times but the midwives were very supportive in helping me decide what I could and couldn’t cope with. I also felt so much safer having access to immediate assistance if I needed it (which I did the second time)

No matter what happens you will get through it Smile

Original poster
Llicdd · 03/11/2021 19:11

I can't thank you all enough for all your posts of reassurance! I appreciate it so much, they are really helping me stay calm.

My waters have now gone an hour ago, so I don't think baby will be too long coming!!!!!!Shock

OP posts:
ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 03/11/2021 19:16

@Llicdd

ooh how exciting! all the best!!!

Glassofshloer · 03/11/2021 19:17

How exciting OP! Are you having contractions?

Rocket1982 · 03/11/2021 19:31

It's not irrational to be scared of giving birth! It's a high risk activity but the chances are it will be fine and you will have an OK experience. I think the thing that helps mentally is as someone said there's no real option, you're 39 weeks pregnant and it's going to have to happen one way or another! Also agree with others that it is a small part of the overall picture of having a baby. The stress of giving birth will be quickly overtaken by the stress of looking after a newborn! Best of luck OP!

Rocket1982 · 03/11/2021 19:32

I just saw your update, hope you have a good birth! Exciting!

Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow · 03/11/2021 19:33

My two births were the most exciting, exhilarating experiences i have ever had. Yes it hurt but it wasn't like broken leg pain. It was purposeful pain.
With ds1 i used the pool in labour and then got out to push. The midwife made me a nest on the floor with beanbags and i had gas and air. He was 8lb 8 and the rush of love was incredible.

Ds2 was much much faster. I stayed upright the whole time, had gas and air and he was born quickly weighing 8lb 13oz.
I had 3 stitches with him due to the speed but that healed quickly.
Stay upright, breathe and have confidence in yourself!

PumpkinGin · 03/11/2021 19:36

Best of luck OP!

Remember if the baby hasn’t come within 24 hours of water broken, you need antibiotics.

(From someone who’s water broke and baby decided that she really didn’t want to come out).

Kittykat93 · 03/11/2021 20:21

No idea why so many people on here try to deny that childbirth is painful. It is painful!! Whether a little or a lot, I think it would be pretty exceptional to feel no pain whilst giving birth without pain relief.

Idbemonica1 · 03/11/2021 21:00

Keep us updated OP. Good Luck! xxx

bethabean · 03/11/2021 22:48

Good luck!!!xx

Itsbeen84yearss · 03/11/2021 22:56

I’ve given birth twice with no pain relief whatsoever. It is bloody painful and both mine were in the right place and ‘text book’ apart from the speed of deliver. Memories of it actually make me sick. There’s so many liars on this thread

SmellyOldOwls · 03/11/2021 23:52

I ended up having two sections but when I was having my balloon inserted and waters broken the gas and air was really good! It's not so much that it helped the pain, I mean it did but it also made me not care about the pain if you know what I mean?

If you don't want to go through the home birth anymore though go to hospital and get an epidural, why not! No point sticking to the plan if it's not what you went anymore.