Suddenly terrified!!

[Llicdd]

I've just passed 39 weeks. I don't feel 39 weeks, the last few weeks have flown by and been the easiest of my pregnancy journey. The birth seemed somewhere in the future that it didn't seem 'real'. Now it's on top of me, the realisation has set in that this could be any day now!!! I've planned a home birth with gas and air and I'm so scared of how bad the pain might be. I've no idea what to expect, have been on the verge of tears a few times. I am literally terrified!!!! Can anyone relate?!

Make sure you get the pessary after. It was so amazing at relieving the pain of labour and the after pains (which I didn’t get first time round so were a massive shock!).

Good luck! I hope your baby makes a quick appearance for you.

@Llicdd

hope all is going well and baby has either made their appearance or will pop out soon!
thinking of you

Hoping you’re relaxing in bed with a new baby now!

A home birth for your first one seems a little risky to me. I remember seeing a statistic that something like 50% of first time births at home end up in hospital. For second births it's much lower (presumably because second time mums only attempt it if their first birth was relatively straightforward)

The problem is OP that none of us can predict the level of pain that you personally will experience. Just as some women experience very bad period pain and some hardly any, it is likely that pain in childbirth varies considerably too. We all have different body shapes, and baby shapes and sizes after all. My two were both back to back, and personally I found it agonising even when I was in the relatively early stages of labour. The epidural was a god send and I was so glad I had quick access to it.

Oops didn't spot the update, so ignore my now unhelpful comments OP! Hope it went well xx

@ArialAnna

A home birth for your first one seems a little risky to me. I remember seeing a statistic that something like 50% of first time births at home end up in hospital. For second births it's much lower (presumably because second time mums only attempt it if their first birth was relatively straightforward)

The problem is OP that none of us can predict the level of pain that you personally will experience. Just as some women experience very bad period pain and some hardly any, it is likely that pain in childbirth varies considerably too. We all have different body shapes, and baby shapes and sizes after all. My two were both back to back, and personally I found it agonising even when I was in the relatively early stages of labour. The epidural was a god send and I was so glad I had quick access to it.

I really think you have summed it up in my experience.

I ended up giving birth in hospital due to query yellow coloured waters. I had a very traumatic birth after all and in all honesty there is absolutely no way I could have managed at home on just gas and air. I don't want to frighten other mums not yet given birth, I just had a very long and traumatic experience leading to a forceps delivery. I may have to consider a debrief later in the next few months as recommended by one of the midwives.

However my beautiful daughter was born in the early hours of this morning. She is incredible and I am overwhelmed with just how amazing she is. It's the best thing I've ever done and the best feeling in the world.

Thank you for everyone that messaged, it means a lot x

Congratulations OP!
I found birth very traumatic too, but it did fade after a couple of weeks. Hope it does for you and a debrief is a good idea if not.

Remember to look after yourself - eat, drink and go for a wee regularly.
Assuming you have stitches if you had forceps - have lots of fruit and veg, you don’t want to be constipated.

Hi OP, congratulations and try not to get too hung up on not having your envisioned birth - in truth hardly anybody does. There’s usually unexpected twists no matter how well you prepare. The human body is unpredictable.

What helped with my stitches was putting a couple of drops of lavender oil and a chamomile teabag in the bath (recommended by health visitor).

Hope you feel better soon!

@Llicdd

Congratulations on your beautiful daughter!

Many Congratulations OP xxx

Congratulations on the birth of your baby!! It is OK that you can recognise what you went through and that you describe your birth as traumatic. It can be useful to take 10 minutes to record the facts as you remember them now and if you want to, your emotions that you felt at the time. Sometimes it is useful to wrote down all the positive things and the negative things so you can see that they blend to form the picture of what happened. It is OK to take time to recognise, acknowledge and process the event.

Congratulations. You did it, well done

Well done OP! You've both survived it and that's the most important thing. But it's also important to acknowledge your emotions and work through the trauma, in whichever way works best for you. I spent quite a lot of time thinking about my first birth and in the early days felt the need to tell everyone all about it! (I'm a natural oversharer and 'offloading' helped me process it) You might handle it differently.

I do think some of the trauma is a natural result of the gap between our expectations and the reality (I think NCT are somewhat to blame for this!) My first and second births were weirdly similar (dilated to 8cm then got stuck, and had an emergency c sections), but my second birth was so much more chilled and positive, because I know what to expect and I didn't have all these unrealistic expectations (for me) of managing without pain relief etc

Congratulations Mum, how exciting, the World just got that extra bit better! Be as kind to yourself now as possible, this time is about you and the baby, you both need to eat, sleep and be reasonably clean - anything else can wait!

Congratulations OP! Amazing news.

Actually, one of my friends wanted home births for her first baby. She ended up having an emergency caesarean.

I had a difficult first birth as well, it was beyond painful, took about 20 hours and in the end I needed ventouse delivery. And to be cut ☹️. In addition to an antibiotic drip.

I didn’t mention it before as I didn’t want to scare you.

However, my second and my third were really straight forward, very quick (about 4 hours from first contraction to delivery) and I managed with gas and air. Your next is probably more likely to be suitable for a home birth - if you are planning more and if you like 😀