Having a VBAC wobble .. can someone chat to me pls

[mrssunshinexxx]

I had my first daughter last year via emc although there wasn't anything traumatic going on I was just totally exhausted both physically and mentally after 26 hours of intense contractions for the most part 4 in 10 mins lasting a minute and she was back to back I had also lost my mum suddenly 6 weeks before so was in a v bad place mentally all in all it was a shit show but nothing actually wrong as such with me or baby. The recovery from EMC was quite frankly horrible I had infection after infection and really struggled with the 'don't do too much'advice. I'm due again in a couple of weeks and planning a vbac but I'm just having a wobble I think because it's creeping closer. I know everyone says an elective is different to an emergency but I don't have support other than my husband and he would have Max 2 weeks off so the idea of having a 16month old that I can't/ shouldn't lift in to cot , bath, highchair or drive is just a no no. Basically I need someone to give me a kick up the arse and tell me there's a chance I can have a vaginal birth that's not horrifically long or ends in emc

My first baby was csection as she was breech . 23 months later i had my 2nd by vaginal delivery even though most people even the HCPs expected me to opt for another csection. The recovery was so much faster and easier than the csection.

You can do it... but it's your choice. Good luck what ever you choose

I had a vbac and the recovery was SO much easier than a c section! I don’t know if I had a bad surgeon but I really struggled to walk days after my c section, took weeks to drive etc.
I felt pretty much back to normal 2-3 days after vbac.
It worked really well for me, your body knows what to do now, so likelihood is you’ll be fine (my first labour was 47 hours, ending in EMCS under general anaesthetic) .
My vbac was 5 hours and I got to see my baby come into the world 😃 good luck with whatever you choose ☺️

My first was an emergency c section due to failure to progress. He was 2 weeks overdue, so induced. Recovery was OK, but not great, and did get a scar infection. Think I tried to walk too far too early as well. 2nd was 2 1/4 years later as a vbac. Wanted to try as figured recovering from a csection with a toddler and baby would be no fun. He was on time , and labour was about 8 hours total, stitches needed for a tear. Out of hospital same afternoon. Would prob do the same again, but only if didn't go overdue (not that we are having more). However, you need to do what is right for you, and you have a smaller gap between children - not sure if that makes any difference. Talk it through with your consultant / midwife again. Good luck with whatever you decide.

And recovery from vbac was quicker and easier - still sore and tender, but more able to done verything after 2-3 days. But more bleeding after for weeks (didn't get that after c section), so be prepared for that!

There’s a great VBAC UK group on FB with loads of stories. The success rate for VBAC is high, but you really have to stand your ground to get things to work in your favour. I’m 40+3 and waiting for my VBAC. Have had to have a phone meeting with the lead midwife to agree an out of local guidelines birth plan so I can use the midwife led unit. Stand your ground, you don’t need sweeps, CS is a major surgery whereas VB is a totally normal event that happens all over the world millions of times a day. Check out some hypnobirthing stuff to make you feel calmer. You’ve got this.

No regrets then @Sugaspunsista ?

Ahh @Campfirewood this is the kind of stuff I need to hear ! So pleased you had a much better experience 2nd time did you have any tears ? Same! My c section recovery was horrible the wound took so so long to close up I would say it took me a good 4 months to feel anything like normal physically . People including midwife and things I read keep saying even if your first ended in EMC your second it likely to be much quicker as your body has laboured before 🤞

@Topbird29 sounds like your little one just really wasn't ready to come out first time well done on achieving your vbac. The midwifes and consultants have said it's fine the gap could defo be smaller and that I'm a good candidates or a vbac as I'm young , BMI good range, went into labour naturally last time and did dilate so 🤞 thanks I have loads of pads stocked up

@jubbablub wow literally any day then for you please come back and let me know how you got on I'll be sending positive thoughts your way! Midwife and consultant really supportive my hosptial quite small so no birth unit etc just a labour ward with a couple of pool rooms which I can use if I want / they are free . I am part of that group on fb and find it useless for sure

I had a elective c section as my baby was in an awkward breech position and was thought to be very small and unwell. They didn't want me to have a single contraction so he was delivered abit early. I felt awful and traumatised afterwards and dreaded after another c section. Just under 24 months later I had my second by Vbac I had been told there was a 50% chance that it would proceed to a emergency c section It went well, the recovery was so much better. I felt good afterwards instead of traumatised like I did after my c section. I think your can do this OP. Best of luck what ever you do.

Thank you @Countrygirl38 ❤️

I was in very similar situation to you OP first time round, my experience was just awful and I was hell bent on having a vbac next time. And I did! And you can too!

I think with labour/birth you need to be relaxed and optimistic and just be aware that things can change so it might not go the way you'd planned.

I did a hypnosis programme throughout my pregnancy, listening to tracks with affirmations like "my body is built to deliver my baby" and "my baby is the perfect size for my body" and "I can DO THIS" (it was a gentlebirth programme specially for vbac) I think it just gave me subconscious confidence if that makes sense? My first child was back to back and after 3 failed epidurals I just had to suffer the pain. Second time round I spent lots of time on all fours, trying to make sure that baby was in the right position! I also walked a lot more than I did during my first pregnancy. I'm not sure if any of that helped but in the end I had a textbook labour and pushed out a 9lb baby with just gas & air! It was a really lovely experience and the recovery etc was just so much easier. Having said that, I do think everything is easier on your second, as you have some idea of what to expect!

Wishing you the best of luck, at the end of the day a healthy baby and mum is all you really need but I do understand your desire for a VBAC and I really hope you get it

@LifeInAHamsterWheel thanks so much . I did jump on the hypnobirthing last time but it all went out the window when I got to hospital this time I've been listening to abit of mediation but tbh I know when throat pain kicks in bad I'll just do what I need to do probably drugs ! But really don't want an epidural this time as like you I had one and it failed but my legs were numb so I was stuck on the bed but with all the pain still it was so grim. This baby was transverse until 34 weeks but I managed to get her head down with lots of exercises and I have been rocking on all 4s and lots of hip rotation on the ball.
You are totally right I just want us both to be alive and well and not traumatic would be a bonus my midwife keeps saying my body will spring into action when things kick off we shall see x

I had an emcs with my first after 31hrs of labour and 4hrs of pushing. It was a bit traumatic, I then haemorrhaged and DD had a birth injury.

I wanted a vbac with my second. Labour went the same way in some respects but they intervened before I started pushing and I had another emcs. DH had only a week off and I was in hospital labouring or delivering for 3 of those days so only 4 days at home before he went back to work. And? It was fine! I bounced back, was fighting fit and healthy almost immediately, needed no painkillers and was surprised by how easy it all was.

So, even if you do need another emcs, it doesn't follow that it will be the same as the first.

Going to go against the grain here, I had a natural birth which was horrific, despite it being straightforward, and an EMCS which was delightful.

I have the option of a VBAC this time but won't be taking them up on it. Part of my natural birth plan was pain relief and I was constantly refused it until the point of no return. I'm not risking that again. It also took me months to properly recover despite no real damage (couldn't walk properly for weeks, lift my baby without pain etc). All from a perfectly normal birth.

My emergency section however I was up in a matter of hours walking. After 2 weeks I could comfortable lift things, had barely any pain and except for a small haematoma I healed perfectly fine.

My story is probably not as normal though but I know of a fair few women on here who have replied to similar threads saying they would go csection every time. What is important is that you do what you think is best for you and your baby.

@ShowOfHands it's just fascinating how different every women's birth is some people literally have a breeze birth and others really struggle guess we will never know why I'm glad your second was a better recovery I just dread not being able to look after my toddler and lift her in to bed etc ?! I mean I would have to do it but scared for the damage it would cause,

@Ghoulette thanks for your reply I too have seen many women say they would have an elc no doubt but I suppose it just goes down to individual experience doesn't it . I'm sorry you had such a rough recovery from a vaginal birth this does play on my mind I am defo concerned re tearing badly but I've been doing the massage that is recommended and have put very clearly in my birth plan I want a compress holding firmly on perineum when crowning all I can do is hope for the best and it if it's not to be it's out of my control. Very shocking re the drugs I got want I wanted but my epidural failed I wish they had encouraged me to have something before going straight to that so I could of stayed active

First was in latent labour for days and was severely dehydrated so they tried to induce me which failed so after 4 days they gave it up as a bad job and I had EMCS, second didn't realise I was in labour until tea time thought it'd be latent labour like last time so put off calling the hospital until my waters burst quite dramatically and I was in quite a lot of pain, arrived at hospital and so did baby within 20 mins.
Second birth was a much more positive and easy experience.
I'm not having anymore but if I was I wouldn't hesitate to VBAC it's my much preferred option.
Good luck x

Ah what a birth your second sounds like k bet you were elated !! @ArtfulScreamer

It's definitely worth a try. VBAC success rate is actually quite high. Search VBAC groups on Facebook, you will find lots of support and encouragement and the success stories will spur you on.
My VBAC didn't work out in the end but I am still so glad that I gave it a decent try.
2nd CS recovery was much, much easier.

It was a right walk in the park compared to my first and recovery was so straightforward hope you have the same experience as me.

I had a VBAC after an EMCS.
According to the midwives I had a tear that was just into 2nd degree tear territory, but I took ages to recover, had repeated infections, nerve damage, coccydonia, and then a fentons procedure.
All fine now years later, but it was a much worse recovery than a c section. I think I’m unusual though and DC was a big baby. Best of luck in what you decide.

@neverornow did you have similar reasons for emc the second time ? Why do you think the recovery was better ? X

Thanks so much @ArtfulScreamer me too 🤞

@Raspberrycollins thank you and sorry you had a tough recovery it's all so unpredictable isn't but I know in my head that if I opted for an elective I would regret it but if I give it my all for a vbac and it doesn't work out atleast I tried. My toddler is my driving force to try and have a successful vaginal birth so I can be back on my feet and home ASAP

[quote mrssunshinexxx]@neverornow did you have similar reasons for emc the second time ? Why do you think the recovery was better ? X

Thanks so much @ArtfulScreamer me too 🤞

@Raspberrycollins thank you and sorry you had a tough recovery it's all so unpredictable isn't but I know in my head that if I opted for an elective I would regret it but if I give it my all for a vbac and it doesn't work out atleast I tried. My toddler is my driving force to try and have a successful vaginal birth so I can be back on my feet and home ASAP[/quote]
@mrssunshinexxx
No different issues; DC1 emcs due to preeclampsia, failed induction and concerns for heart rate.
DC2 we were planning for VBAC but as I had GD, doc would only allow me to go to 41 weeks and booked me in for elective at 41 week mark. Got to 40+5 and had reduced movement, had ultrasound and found excess fluid. Was admitted for monitoring and we (Doc and I) were still happy to proceed with VBAC even with that extra risk. Waters broke and contractions started on the morning of 41 week mark/ day of my scheduled elective but baby moved into breech position as a result of excess fluid when waters broke - so I just went ahead my elective slot as was advised that in all probability I would have ended up with another emcs and obviously did not want baby in any form of distress.

Recovery was far easier as I was mentally prepared, wasn’t exhausted like first time around and the elective itself felt smoother - like they took a lot more time and care as it wasn’t an emergency situation. They seemed to spend along long stitching me up compared to first time (even DH noticed it took a lot longer)
I barely lifted a finger for the first 2 weeks so no infections or issues (compared to 2 infections and 2 rounds of antibiotics first time around!)
I drank gallons of mint tea as I thought I had a shoulder injury first time around but turns out it was just trapped wind! I insisted I be given a monkey bar at the hospital for when trying to get out of bed/move and set an alarm on my phone for when next dose of painkillers were due so as I didn’t miss any (was a few hours late with a morphine dose first time around and bloody felt it!)

Probably far more info than you needed lol! But basically if your doctor feels it is safe, it is absolutely worth trying for - nobody wants major surgery if they can avoid it!

@neverornow that makes total sense I would of made the same decision in your shoes for sure, ah those are all really good points I just know I wouldn't be able to rest at all with a 15 month old and no support other than hubby x

@mrssunshinexxx I know I didn't have much support with my then 19 month old so just tried to make the very most of DH's time off (2 weeks) and do the absolute bare minimum. I was super careful when moving around and applying pressure to the wound when sitting up and getting out of bed.

Give the VBAC lots of positive thought and focus and try join a few groups on Facebook if you can as I found they were an excellent source of support and encouragement.

Good luck! Hope it works out for you

@neverornow I know I want to give it a really good shot. Yeah I'm on a vbac uk page I love it ! X

I wouldn't pick the vbac just so it's easier to look after your toddler. I've had a natural birth and an elective section and the section was a much easier recovery and a much nicer experience overall. I also had a 16 month gap between mine and honestly it was fine- do you have a friend or someone to help you a bit after the two weeks?

Everyone's experiences are of course different but there is no way on earth I would choose a painful, unpredictable labour over a calm elective section.