ELCS due to not wanting to have vaginal pain AFTER birth?

[Dexter77]

I’m currently deciding between an ELCS and a VB with epidural. I don’t believe in enduring pain that’s unnecessary and always assumed I’d have an ELCS as I think it’s a great and safe option, but now wonder whether the latter would be preferable. What’s holding me back from attempting VB is the prospect of weeks/months of pain in vaginal area after birth, as well as the fact that postnatal aftercare of birth injuries seems to be woefully inadequate in the UK with long waiting times and insufficient support.

I’d be fine with temporary pain during birth but find the prospect of having vaginal pain for so long totally unacceptable - not even to mention other potential complications such as prolapse and incontinence.
I suppose I’m asking whether it’ll be a given to have vaginal/perineal pain AFTER the birth with VB of normal sized babies (no reason to assume mine will be big).
Keen also to hear from women who had a pain free birth but pain afterwards and how they found it.

PS: And yes, I know there’ll be pain from having an ELCS after birth, but I just know I’ll cope better with having pain in abdomen than in genital area.

Two vaginal births and one c-section here. J bounced back very quickly from the vaginal births despite a small episiotomy and stitches as they were ventouse deliveries.
Bit sore for a couple of days.
I felt extremely battered after my elective c section, despite it going smoothly. Took two weeks to walk without pain, and wondered if I'd ever be able to stand straight. But was back to normal after 4 weeks.
The birth itself was less painful, obviously.
Good luck with whatever you decide!

I've had 2 ELCSs. It was a great experience and barely noticeable pain afterwards. Just take the painkillers they give you and by day 3 I felt fantastic. By day 7 I was back to normal walking and by day 14 driving again after speaking with my Dr and car insurance company.

The scar is minimal and now barely noticeable after a few years. The surgeon used the same scar for second baby.

@slapmyarseandcallmemary

I had an emergency c section with my first baby then a VB with my 2nd. Don't underestimate how painful a C-section is. You do not realise how much you use your core muscle for everything until you have a c section. The VB I ended up having forceps, 2nd degree tear, episiotomy and grazing. Few complications post natally. The pain from the stitches was, well, painful. They are two different types of pain though. After my csection, I relied on people lifting my baby for me in the first few days. I didn't with the VB. It's a personal choice, whatever you are comfortable with, I guess.

I agree it’s two different types of pain - I obviously haven’t experienced the pain from a CS nor from a traumatic VB, but I’ve had some gynaecological procedures during which I found it impossible to cope with vaginal pain. I think no matter how painful the C section scar will be, i’d always rather have my pain there than in my genital area.

If I had a VB I’d definitely take extremely strong pain relief during birth and after, which would almost certainly lead to constipation - though you get that from a C-section med cocktail too.

Lifting the baby in first few days is not really a concern for me - I’ll thankfully have round the clock help.

@Loubiemoo

Wow, patronising? I think you’ll find that wasn’t the case. Just because you don’t want to hear it doesn’t mean it’s patronising.

You’re patronising again! Why do you insist I “don’t want to hear” things I knew about already? I have no problem with there being many layers that need cutting during a c section, I’m not an idiot who thinks there’s a bit of skin and immediately under there is the baby lol. I’m not sure what your problem is tbh.

[quote Dexter77]@EgonSpengler2020 A CS is a 10-20 minute routine surgery that happens every day in a calm controlled manner and perfectly safe. I’d prefer not to have a scar on my abdomen but would rather have abdominal surgery than major vaginal injury.[/quote]
I had ELCS for both of mine. Was a breeze, all calm, v little pain which was managed easily with paracetamol and home 3 days later. If you feel that's what is right for you and the medics don't object to for it. It's your choice and you di t need to justify that choice to ANYBODY

FWIW the scar is usually in the bikini line so unless you opt to have a full wax down there you won't see it

@SunsetStyle sorry you had a tough time after your section, you’re one of the first people I’ve heard report more than a few days of pain after an ELCS.

Did you have to be very active after your section? I know some activity is encouraged to aide healing process and avoid constipation but wonder whether your painful recovery had anything to do with you having to do a bit too much after the surgery? Did you take painkillers?

If you have never had open-wound abdomial surgery then you absolutely CANNOT judge you';d find it easier than VB or any other pain you've never experienced . I've done both several times; they just are not comparable. The first was never like the next , they are all unique.

   Having a baby ( and raising a child)  is not a fantasy game in your head where you can keep score.  By treating  parenthood  that way you are setting yourself up for  decades  of   bewilderment and disillusion.  It will NEVER be  whatever  you expected. 

   There is no google-assist  map to labour and  parenthood; there are no certainties,  for every mother it is new every time.  If you want to be a happy mother,  go with the flow.  Accept your  baby on his own terms, from the very first  labour contraction and the moment the cord is cut.

I have had a vaginal birth without pain relief that needed an episiotomy and forceps, honestly the pain in that area even with the trauma there eased very, very quickly in comparison to my emergency c-section where the pain in my abdomen lasted weeks. Nobody can tell you how you will cope obviously but I also thought I would cope better with pain in my belly than I would pain in my vaginal area but I was wrong, it was so much easier to manage after my vaginal birth. I was up doing everything for myself and baby on my own straight away after whereas I relied heavily on the midwives and then my partner after the c-section.

@Enterifyoudare

If you're trying to avoid pain, a csection isn't really your best option. The actual op is technically easier and more controlled, but recovery is much longer. There is no bouncing back from a csection. For every woman who tells you she ran a marathon a week after her csection, there are ten who will tell you that recovery was longer and harder.

I've had an elective and emergency. I was still in hospital after four days on the tramadol after the elective. I was still worried about bursting my stitches when I took a poo for about three weeks. I was anemic for 12 months after my emergency section. I still have no sensation in my lower abdomen and my youngest child (the elective) is 6YO. It's not all sunshine and rainbows.

I'm not trying to discourage you BTW. I would definitely recommend an elective csection over a difficult labour (I had that with DS1 resulting in emergency csection). But go into it with fully informed with your eyes wide open. You will be on that table cut open for longer than 20 minutes for a start.

Very sensible post. Sure some people don't have issues BUT you are right is massive surgery.

[quote Dexter77]@SunsetStyle sorry you had a tough time after your section, you’re one of the first people I’ve heard report more than a few days of pain after an ELCS.

Did you have to be very active after your section? I know some activity is encouraged to aide healing process and avoid constipation but wonder whether your painful recovery had anything to do with you having to do a bit too much after the surgery? Did you take painkillers?[/quote]
Youngest of three so was on the move a bit I suppose. Yes, painkillers, antibiotics, you name it, I took it. The pain wasn't awful, just more uncomfortable than the vaginal deliveries

I've had 3 VBs, 2 of which were over 9lb. The first one was back to back and a ventouse delivery with a tear. No epidural. I needed quite a few stitches and for a few days thought I'd never walk normally again, but was out for lunch 6 days later, pushing the prism and feeling quite normal. I felt a bit swollen for a while but that was all.

Second was straightforward, he popped out quite easily and I had the grand total of 2 stitches.

Third was an induction, but apart from having the pessary, was a normal delivery of a slightly smaller baby as it was at 37 weeks, again just a couple of stitches, there was no time to worry about it with 3 kids under 4.

After no1 the women's physio came to see me on the ward and said "10lb baby, back to back, ventouse? Start doing your pelvic floor exercises NOW or you'll be peeing yourself before you're 40". That terrified me and I'm glad to say I most certainly was not!!

Good luck with your birth, whichever way you choose. My recovery from vb was easy, but it's not like that for everyone!

@Dexter77

I've had 2 VB

1st one had epidural forceps and episiotomy
No pain afterward

2nd was just gas n air then a local for the episiotomy

Again no pain

Both times I've been up and about not restricted in any way

However I think I was pretty lucky my contractions also did not hurt

But it's your choice do what you feel is best

@PoshWatchShitShoes

I've had 2 ELCSs. It was a great experience and barely noticeable pain afterwards. Just take the painkillers they give you and by day 3 I felt fantastic. By day 7 I was back to normal walking and by day 14 driving again after speaking with my Dr and car insurance company.

The scar is minimal and now barely noticeable after a few years. The surgeon used the same scar for second baby.

That sounds wonderful, have heard many similar stories from friends, family and acquaintances. Did you ever, despite it all going so smoothly, wonder whether you might have “missed out” on the VB experience afterwards? I don’t care at all for a natural birth experience with no pain relief etc but after my previous VB birth of a micropreemie I felt so out of control and had no agency whatsoever once the baby was born. Having to ask permission to even touch my child for months afterwards in NICU has affected me deeply, which is the main reason why I’m considering a VB at all - I’m otherwise all for the ELCS as it rules out so many scenarios I want to avoid.

But if I had a VB without complications, so my thinking goes, I could just pick up my child straight away, without having to be at the mercy of medics again deciding when I can do what. This wouldn’t be the case after a c section obviously. How did you find the bonding experience after your sections if you don’t mind me asking?

sorry you had a tough time after your section, you’re one of the first people I’ve heard report more than a few days of pain after an ELCS

Seriously? A few days? Jesus , I was in hospital 4 days.

[quote Dexter77]@EgonSpengler2020 A CS is a 10-20 minute routine surgery that happens every day in a calm controlled manner and perfectly safe. I’d prefer not to have a scar on my abdomen but would rather have abdominal surgery than major vaginal injury.[/quote]
But a CS will always be major abdominal surgery. Avaginal delivery will not always (most of the time it won't) lead to major vaginal injury.

Well I had a VB, it was really natural, we was chanting and my DH was burning incense. I had no pain relief as I wanted to endure all that labour was to me. It just makes me feel like I am a better mother and I was breast feeding my four year old the whole time.

Nah I had a c-section and it was fine

It felt more controlled than my vaginal birth and with the vaginal birth my stiches got infected - inside and out ....never again!

I don’t care at all for a natural birth experience with no pain relief etc but after my previous VB birth of a micropreemie I felt so out of control and had no agency whatsoever once the baby was born.
Having to ask permission to even touch my child for months afterwards in NICU has affected me deeply, which is the main reason why I’m considering a VB at all - I’m otherwise all for the ELCS as it rules out so many scenarios I want to avoid

I had all that plus a section- it was hell.

@2bazookas

If you have never had open-wound abdomial surgery then you absolutely CANNOT judge you';d find it easier than VB or any other pain you've never experienced . I've done both several times; they just are not comparable. The first was never like the next , they are all unique.

   Having a baby ( and raising a child)  is not a fantasy game in your head where you can keep score.  By treating  parenthood  that way you are setting yourself up for  decades  of   bewilderment and disillusion.  It will NEVER be  whatever  you expected. 

   There is no google-assist  map to labour and  parenthood; there are no certainties,  for every mother it is new every time.  If you want to be a happy mother,  go with the flow.  Accept your  baby on his own terms, from the very first  labour contraction and the moment the cord is cut.</div></div>

Lol. What a patronising post. Just because I am seeking to compare experiences of ELCSs and VBs doesn’t mean I’m playing a “fantasy game”.

This isn’t my first pregnancy or birth, as I’ve explained above, so thanks for your concern re how I approach parenting but I’m just fine in that department, which has also NOTHING to do with my post.

I felt midwives and nct classes really push you towards a vb. I had one for my first and although totally routine and all water birth woowoo, it was horrible, I hated it, it put me off sex for a long time and my pelvic floor has been pretty poor since. I felt misled. And after hearing all the things that can go wrong and had done with friends' vbs I had an elcs next time. It was certainly a better experience all around. Bonding with baby included.
Yes, we've been doing vb since the dawn of time but risks are lower with elcs and nobody gives you a badge of honour either way.

[quote Dexter77]@SunsetStyle sorry you had a tough time after your section, you’re one of the first people I’ve heard report more than a few days of pain after an ELCS.

Did you have to be very active after your section? I know some activity is encouraged to aide healing process and avoid constipation but wonder whether your painful recovery had anything to do with you having to do a bit too much after the surgery? Did you take painkillers?[/quote]
No you really don't have to "do a bit much" after a CS to "still" be in pain after a few days.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

sorry you had a tough time after your section, you’re one of the first people I’ve heard report more than a few days of pain after an ELCS

Seriously? A few days? Jesus , I was in hospital 4 days.

Sorry to hear that, but yeah, normally you’re released after a one night stay after an ELCS. You obviously never know, wound could get infected, you could have bladder retention, etc.

This is also my overall feeling tbh.
Glad to hear you bonded well after your section, that’s one of my biggest concerns re the section.

[quote Dexter77]**@BrownEyedSquirrel* and @lochmaree* I think one can’t compare an EMCS with a ELCS though, the former are almost always more brutal and recovery slower as it’s an emergency, whereas an ELCS is a calm, precise little cut that’s being gently stretched and recovery is often said to be miles easier than after an EMCS.
I’d also like to avoid a EMCS as lots of people seem to have had slow painful recoveries afterwards like you guys, but the only sure way to avoid an EMCS is indeed an ELCS![/quote]
You know nothing, Jon Snow

Will add 'overhang' not obligatory. I have a neat straight scar with no overhang and feeling back in the area. Some mornings I can still feel extra tightness on the right hand side but thats the worst I can say.

I've had a crash EMCS and an ELCS.

Physically I recovered much, much faster from the EMCS. I was up and about and then driving from week two. No complications. No pouch or overhang.

The ELCS had no surgical complications per se, but recovery was very long and very hard. I bled for a long long time after. My stitches popped open and I had an oozing hole in my abdomen that had to be regularly checked by midwives. My stomach muscles never knitted back together again after this second surgery and now I have chronic back pain, and will probably need surgery to have them stitched back together. I have absolutely no feeling whatsoever in certain parts of my abdomen because of nerve damage.