ELCS due to not wanting to have vaginal pain AFTER birth?

[Dexter77]

I’m currently deciding between an ELCS and a VB with epidural. I don’t believe in enduring pain that’s unnecessary and always assumed I’d have an ELCS as I think it’s a great and safe option, but now wonder whether the latter would be preferable. What’s holding me back from attempting VB is the prospect of weeks/months of pain in vaginal area after birth, as well as the fact that postnatal aftercare of birth injuries seems to be woefully inadequate in the UK with long waiting times and insufficient support.

I’d be fine with temporary pain during birth but find the prospect of having vaginal pain for so long totally unacceptable - not even to mention other potential complications such as prolapse and incontinence.
I suppose I’m asking whether it’ll be a given to have vaginal/perineal pain AFTER the birth with VB of normal sized babies (no reason to assume mine will be big).
Keen also to hear from women who had a pain free birth but pain afterwards and how they found it.

PS: And yes, I know there’ll be pain from having an ELCS after birth, but I just know I’ll cope better with having pain in abdomen than in genital area.

[CatalinaCasesolver]

Not sure what it is you want from this thread? Sounds like you've made up your mind anyway.

I had a VB with venteuse at the end and my baby was 9lb12, 2nd degree tear and I honestly felt fine after about 3 days.

[Bitofachinwag]

:42Bortles

I felt midwives and nct classes really push you towards a vb

I don't think "push you towards a vb" is what they do. A vb is simply a natural consequence of being pregnant. There is no reason not to have one unless there is a reason that a vb would impact negatively on the health of mum and baby. CSs are riskier and more expensive.

[Dexter77]

@Bitofachinwag
“But a CS will always be major abdominal surgery. Avaginal delivery will not always (most of the time it won't) lead to major vaginal injury.”

I’m not sure the “a CS will always be major abdominal surgery” is the argument you and so many others think it is? Yes and now what? It has its risks but is very routine and by option for a section many other undesirable outcomes - including an EMCS and horrible forceps delivery with often devastating consequences - are ruled out! Which is precisely why ELCS are offered in the first place!

It’s a perfectly reasonable, safe delivery method. I am wondering whether a VB would be better for me psychologically but apart from that I would happily opt for the risks of a section and thereby avoid nasty side effects that can arise from VB.

[Dexter77]

@Bitofachinwag

:42Bortles

I felt midwives and nct classes really push you towards a vb

I don't think "push you towards a vb" is what they do. A vb is simply a natural consequence of being pregnant. There is no reason not to have one unless there is a reason that a vb would impact negatively on the health of mum and baby. CSs are riskier and more expensive.

CSs are NOT “riskier and more expensive”. They have different risks and are actually safer statistically for the baby - minimally riskier regarding maternal death than VB - and are often actually cheaper than a VB as they are much quicker most of the time.

[picketingpanic]

OP bear in mind when you correct everybody on this thread that the people talking to you have actually given birth, and you haven't.

[MimiDaisy11]

It’s such a roll of the dice, isn’t it?

While I did like the idea of a nice water birth in a way it’s good that if I have another child it’s decided that it will be an elective c-section so I don’t have to make a decision that I might regret.

I had an emergency c-section and it went really smoothly. My only regret was the days of induction I’d gone through and wish I’d just requested an elective one.

[Bortles]

Well, re. Push towards a vb and natural birth: Cs was never discussed. Epidurals were addressed by midwife bringing in enormous needle. It wasn't exactly given any positive airtime. And the possible risks of a vb weren't discussed.

[Dexter77]

@CatalinaCasesolver

Not sure what it is you want from this thread? Sounds like you've made up your mind anyway.

I had a VB with venteuse at the end and my baby was 9lb12, 2nd degree tear and I honestly felt fine after about 3 days.

I haven’t made up my mind at all. I’m looking to compare how people actually experienced ELCS vs the after pains of VBs.
I’ve asked above also how an ELCS affected the bonding experience - although I’m also interested in hearing whether bad vaginal injury has affected bonding in some people’s experience. That’s simply stuff you can’t look up stats about.

[Bitofachinwag]

[quote Dexter77]@Bitofachinwag
“But a CS will always be major abdominal surgery. Avaginal delivery will not always (most of the time it won't) lead to major vaginal injury.”

I’m not sure the “a CS will always be major abdominal surgery” is the argument you and so many others think it is? Yes and now what? It has its risks but is very routine and by option for a section many other undesirable outcomes - including an EMCS and horrible forceps delivery with often devastating consequences - are ruled out! Which is precisely why ELCS are offered in the first place!

It’s a perfectly reasonable, safe delivery method. I am wondering whether a VB would be better for me psychologically but apart from that I would happily opt for the risks of a section and thereby avoid nasty side effects that can arise from VB.[/quote]
Sigh....well you only seem to consider what awful consequences a vb can have without considering what awful consequences a CS can have.Yes if you opt for a VB you may end up with a "horrible forceps delivery with often devastating consequences" but "horrible consequences" are definitely not rules out of you choose a CS.

[ThePoisonousMushroom]

OP my best friend gave birth to a micro preemie vaginally… she said despite the difference in size (her second and third babies were over 9lb), her full term births were no different to the premature birth.

[Dexter77]

@picketingpanic

OP bear in mind when you correct everybody on this thread that the people talking to you have actually given birth, and you haven't.

I have given birth before. I’m not correcting “everybody on this thread”. Just not interested in having ideological soundbites thrown in my direction that contain inaccurate claims.

[picketingpanic]

If you've given birth before then surely you are able to make this decision by yourself. Odd.

[Dexter77]

@ThePoisonousMushroom

OP my best friend gave birth to a micro preemie vaginally… she said despite the difference in size (her second and third babies were over 9lb), her full term births were no different to the premature birth.

Hmm. Curious. My baby weighed 600g when it was born, I didn’t feel any pain. I’m sure vaginal trauma alone would be different after birthing a term baby vaginally?

[Squashpocket]

It's a shame you don't get to know what birth you're going to get until you have it really. I would take my easy unmedicated second vaginal birth over any other birth option. I had no vaginal pain at all after that one. No stitches. Recovery took about 20 mins.

However, I would do anything to avoid the agonising, 3 day, pethidine fuelled, back to back labour I had with my first dc. God that was fucking horrible.

So if you don't like uncertainty, ELCS seems like the way to go. You might miss out on an amazing, easy vaginal birth and recovery, but you equally might spare yourself something horribly traumatic. You just don't know.

[Dexter77]

@picketingpanic

If you've given birth before then surely you are able to make this decision by yourself. Odd.

I haven’t given birth to a term baby, and I haven’t had a CS. Not sure why you’re against me asking people about experiences I haven’t had?

[MimiDaisy11]

If you’ve given birth before and it went fine it’s much less likely that you’ll experience a bad vaginal birth second time though of course no guarantees.

[Dexter77]

@Squashpocket

It's a shame you don't get to know what birth you're going to get until you have it really. I would take my easy unmedicated second vaginal birth over any other birth option. I had no vaginal pain at all after that one. No stitches. Recovery took about 20 mins.

However, I would do anything to avoid the agonising, 3 day, pethidine fuelled, back to back labour I had with my first dc. God that was fucking horrible.

So if you don't like uncertainty, ELCS seems like the way to go. You might miss out on an amazing, easy vaginal birth and recovery, but you equally might spare yourself something horribly traumatic. You just don't know.

I think you’re right.
I just won’t know will I, and might miss out on potentially wonderful bonding after VB if I opt for ELCS but at least will have SOME certainty.

There are of course no easy options. Thanks for sharing your experience!

[Bitofachinwag]

OP you keep comparing "horrible VBs with devastating injuries " to painfree easy CSs. Why is that? Why not compare easy VBs to easy CSs instead? Or horrible damaging CBs to horrible damaging CSs?

Do you trust Tommy's? www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/giving-birth/caesarean-section/c-section-benefits-and-risks

[ArianaDumbledore]

I had a VB then EMCS then VBAC then a semi-elective CS

The VBAC was the worst experience in terms of everything. I had a 3 degree tear and the pain from that lasted longer than any of the others.

The last was semi elective because I went into labour the day before my scheduled CS I was not entertaining "trying".

[Dexter77]

@MimiDaisy11

It’s such a roll of the dice, isn’t it?

While I did like the idea of a nice water birth in a way it’s good that if I have another child it’s decided that it will be an elective c-section so I don’t have to make a decision that I might regret.

I had an emergency c-section and it went really smoothly. My only regret was the days of induction I’d gone through and wish I’d just requested an elective one.

Gosh yes, the threat of induction is another thing to consider. Although I have an incompetent cervix, my consultant said this would make an induction very unlikely.
Glad you had a smooth section!

[KevinTheKoala]

The c-section didn't have any influence on bonding for me, although I was able to hold my baby immediately after the vaginal birth whereas I had some complications after the c-section so didn't hold her myself for an hour afterwards (I did get to see her though). I did have PND after both deliveries however both were traumatic and so that is a consideration for ELCS, personally I think if I were to get pregnant again I would be considering it to avoid another traumatic experience - it's actually the pain that would put me off more. It really is such a personal choice though and so many pros and cons to both.

[ThunderSocks]

I recently had to make the decision between vb or elcs having previously had 1 emcs and 1 vbac. Despite having experience of both (neither of which were especially bad pain wise), I found it incredibly difficult to weigh up the pros and cons given all the unknowns, particularly in the outcomes of vaginal birth. Similar to you op, I was more worried about the consequences of birth injury from a vb than pain in labour. While the vbac I had was practically textbook in how straightforward it was (only gas and air, discharged home after a few hours), I felt quite disturbed by it. I found being stitched up afterwards particularly horrific as the local anaesthetic was insufficient (was only a 2nd degree tear), and it was definitely made worse by the fact I was being stitched in such an intimate area. It also didn't heal well and I've been left with a small extra flap of skin. Having said that, I don't know of anyone else who's had such a bad experience with stitching and I was offered the option to go to theatre which I turned down (I'm scared of hospitals and wanted to be able to go home asap).

I don't remember having a lot of pain during the recovery from vb, but I do remember being very aware of the damage that had been done, which I was quite upset about. After the emcs I needed to take a lot of painkillers and found walking/getting out of bed etc difficult, but was surprised at how quick my recovery was - I'd been expecting a lot worse.

In the end for my most recent delivery - after much agonising - I opted for an elcs. I definitely made the right choice, as it couldn't have been more straightforward. Even though I felt I'd had a good recovery from the emcs, it was nowhere near as good as the recovery from elcs. I was discharged within 24 hours and managed to walk up the 3 flights of stairs when I got home without too much bother. I took painkillers for the first week or so, nothing after that. 5 weeks on I have a bit of numbness, but otherwise I'm absolutely fine.

Obviously this is only my experience of emcs/elcs/vb, and unfortunately no one can predict how things will go for you. I just wanted to post as I can relate to the idea of experiencing pain in my stomach vs vagina differently (if that makes sense!). As a previous poster mentioned, it's worth talking your concerns over with your midwife. Hope all goes well whatever you decide.

[Nomoreusernames1244]

sorry you had a tough time after your section, you’re one of the first people I’ve heard report more than a few days of pain after an ELCS

Umm I did earlier in the thread. I specifically said my ELCS was worse than my EMCS, both the op and the recovery.

[Dexter77]

[quote Bitofachinwag]OP you keep comparing "horrible VBs with devastating injuries " to painfree easy CSs. Why is that? Why not compare easy VBs to easy CSs instead? Or horrible damaging CBs to horrible damaging CSs?

Do you trust Tommy's? www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/giving-birth/caesarean-section/c-section-benefits-and-risks[/quote]
I am not? I have claimed nowhere that a CS would be pain free or easy! Why are you making this up?
I have said, which is a fact, that a planned CS rules out a horrible VB plus nasty aftermath, which is what I want to avoid at all costs.

Sounds like you simply don’t like the fact that I’m considering to forego the pains and risks of a VB. Why does that bother you so much I wonder?

[GoingOutOutNEVER]

“Woefully inadequate”.
Each woman is different, each birth different, each recovery is different