10 year old present at birth

[RHODXB]

My daughter will be just 10
When baby arrives- she is adamant she wants to be there at the birth. Would you let her?

@AHobbyaweek

I had a home birth and my 5 year old was there, loved it and learnt a lot I think. I prepared her with videos and chats.

That is horribly irresponsible!

@JudgementalCactus that is in an interesting take on it. We had. A back up plan for her if she got worried or upset but she decided to stay when she got back from school and I was already in labour.
I wouldn't have taken her to the hospital but I do feel we have created a view that birth is scary, horribly painful and so dangerous that women go into it terrified. Most of the depictions on TV add to this and in reality if birth can be allowed to happen in the majority of cases in a comfortable environment with the right support it can be amazing. Yes it can still be painful and intense but I have had both experiences of emergency c section and home VBAC. The home birth was very healing and lovely and my daughter talks about it with excitement and amazement. I would rather she had that idea of birth rather than the TV depictions.

It's tough to watch when you are an adult and know what's going to happen. Watching your mother howling in pain, and all the unpleasant happenings which a child has no knowledge about, would be traumatic at the least.

I wouldn’t let a child watch. There are other things she can do such as choose the first outfit, hold the baby first if it’s a home birth, help dress and clean up the baby. All after you’ve given birth. If you are in hospital I’m sure you can arrange for her to visit very soon afterwards even now

Oh hell no. Childbirth for me was horrific, painful, and ultimately dangerous. And that wasn't because I was expecting it to be, I fully expected it all to go well and be manageable, until it really really wasn't. No-one knows how birth is going to work out until you do it, so I just wouldn't take the risk of exposing a child to it. It was traumatic enough for me and my husband to go through!

DD was there when her baby brother was born, she was 2.5 years and mostly fine and then very excited but also she was young enough that she didn't know enough to really worry that much and won't really remember it that clearly.

There was a neighbour she could be removed to and family could retrieve her soon after, a bag was packed for her before I bothered to sort my own bag out because I needed to make sure she would be ok first. For her sending her away for 2/3 days (tediously long labours) would have been worse for her.

I was there when my sister was born, and I was 14.
Ive been forever grateful to be honest, to be part of it.
I was a sensible child and obviously a little bit older but it was a brilliant experience.

My labour was horrific, extremely long and difficult for my 33 year old husband to watch. I needed inervention, had an episiotomy and a ventouse delivery. I lost a lot of blood, and blood was dripping off the bed afterwards. On top of this i was hobbling to the toilet holding an overflowing maternity pad between my legs. I honestly think this would be traumatic for a child if anything went wrong, which it could. I had a perfect textbook pregnancy, so my birth was a massive shock to the system and very unexpected.

Noooooo. A thousand times no. It’s really not a good idea and I had very positive lovely births

No. Too much scope for things to go wrong.

She doesn't know what she's asking for, obviously a 10yo has no idea of the reality of a normal birth let alone the complications that could arise. It's lovely that she wants to be involved though. Hope all goes well OP and that your daughter gets lots of cuddles with the baby as soon as you're sorted!

Definitely not

Nope. It could traumatise her and may deter her from wanting a kid in her future!