Male MW

[micegg]

I have a feeling I will get pounced on for this but this is how I feel. I have just found out there is a male MW working on the labour ward at the hospital I am booked into. My initial thoughts were that it made me feel uncomfortable as I see labour as a very intimate experience. Its not just the internal exams but also the stitching, etc. Then I spoke to a few people who pointed out that would I be so worried if it were a male doc. TBH, Yes I would. I would feel umcomfortable and would probably prefer a female examine me. Having said that I have never been faced with the situation. However, the thing with midwives is that its an intimate process (IMO). Not just the internals but just the general being at that end IYKWIM. I am not normally such a wuss about things like this but need to work out whether I want something on my birth plan to say I only want a female midwife. Having already had a baby I know you get to the point where you wouldnt care if the England rugby team were getting a look of your bits but I still would rather make the decision now whilst I am not in that state. Anyone had experience of a male MW whilst they were in labour?

Kingston. I am sure he will be very nice it's just I would feel embarrassed having a male examine me or just being at the action end. Wouldnt matter if it was a MW or doc but for some reason I think the MW has a more intimate and caring role than the doc. I imagine the docs just walking into to suck the baby out and walking out again. SO feels slightly less personal. I am obviously giving this way too much thought. Having had a baby before I know on the day I wont care but I do right now!

I work with some male nurses. In much the same way they often have to do intimate things with women on our ward. Just in the same way I have to with men. As long as they are professional I would have no problem with it. In fact 9/10 the women I care for positively want to be looked after by one of the (very lovely) chaps I work with. I would too tbh. He is one of the best nurses I have ever worked with. I think you need to try and appreciate that he will not be looking at you in any different way to a female midwife. He has seen it all before sooo soo many times. Its not nice to have anyone down there TBH but somehow in the midst of labour you may care a little bit less!

I hate being examined by a male gynae, yet wasn't bothered by the fact that it was a male dr who was stitching my tear after ds1's birth. I think that the difference was that going for a gynae exam is sort of cold-blooded, whereas having my bits stitched after giving birth is far more 'in the heat of the moment'.

Besides, if it's mainly the examinations that bother you, you can refuse them. I had loads with ds1 and found them very upsetting, so asked to minimise them in subequent birth plans. With dd I had only one examination, and with ds2 I had none. Except of course for being checked afterwards to see whether I needed stitches.

You know the most important thing in childbirth is that you feel safe and secure. If a male mw is not for you then so be it! You may find that he's on shift when you get there and he may make you feel completely safe.

Trust yourself and it'll be okay.

DS2 was delivered by a male midwife.
He was fantastic.
I didn't get asked if I minded him being there (at least I don't remember being asked), as he was the ward sister, and the other midwife had asked him to help with the delivery.
It really was fine though.