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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Sabire - Please talk to me about Home Births and Domino Births

43 replies

LuckySalem · 04/12/2007 16:07

Hi Sabire.

Hope you don't mind me harassing you. Saw you're post on the thread about why people have/having homebirths.

I'm about to have my first baby (in 4 weeks) and was all for a hospital birth until I went in for the labour tour and got told all the rules!! (Including notes about how long to press the buzzer and the fact that they didn't have time to let the cord pulse) They also have a strict timeing for how long a labour should last (somewhere between 6 and 20 hours) and that I would HAVE to stay in for 2 days so they could make sure I'm breastfeeding properly. DP would be sent home if its outside of visiting hours (which I understand but really hate)

Now I want to have a homebirth but am worried about a few aspects. For example - I don't know enough to know if MW's are lying to me (another reason I don't want a hospital birth anymore)

I read about domino births and like that idea abit but am guessing will probably have the same problems in the hospital. Can you please tell me what it's all about?

I'm going to see my MW tomorrow and need to make sure I know my stuff so that I can't be persuaded out of it if i'm safe enough to have one. IYKWIM

I don't know if there are actually any questions in there but noticed your a HB NCT advisor and thought you could help.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
LuckySalem · 04/12/2007 16:22

Hi?

OP posts:
MarsSelectionBoxLady · 04/12/2007 16:24

whilst you wait here's the homebirth website Homebirths can be truly wonderful births. I have loved all the ones I've seen. Oh and the mws are more relaxed about your labour.

LuckySalem · 04/12/2007 16:32

I've just realised that I really should give Sabire some time to get here. lol!!

I'll trawl the website and see what they say. Thanks very much.

OP posts:
MarsSelectionBoxLady · 04/12/2007 16:33

There are lots of MNers who can help you with the whole homebirth thing. I'm sure Camillathechicken (lulumama) will be along soon as well.

LuckySalem · 04/12/2007 16:36

Thanx very much.

I know it's been overly done but I just want to make sure I've got some facts before I go into the MW's office as last time I mentioned I wanted a HB she looked very shocked and immediatly started saying well it all depends on if you'll be low risk enough and whether we have enough staff etc so I want to have a proper convo with her whilst knowing enough to "argue" with her (although obviously not really argue)

OP posts:
mummyrex · 04/12/2007 16:44

Nothing against HB - am planning one myself BUT do you have an alternative hospital to look at just to give you more choice?

Your hospital sounds nuts! I have never heard the like and think most are nothing like as tyrannical and rule obsessed as that. Many hospitals now even have birthing centers attached.

Good luck with whatever you choose!

LuckySalem · 04/12/2007 16:49

The nearest hospital apart from that is 45 mins away and i can't be booked into it. I always thought my hospital would be lovely and I'd heard some wonderful stories about the hospital (none of them birth stories tho) so am very surprised about it.

OP posts:
MarsSelectionBoxLady · 04/12/2007 16:49

AIMS website has lots of answers

LuckySalem · 04/12/2007 17:13

Thanx for the birth reference website. I'm not going to print it all out and hopefully make up a birthplan to show the MW tomorrow.

Will look at the other one now.

OP posts:
MarsSelectionBoxLady · 04/12/2007 17:16

Good. Let us know how you get on.

weblette · 04/12/2007 17:26

I had a Domino birth with my second. It was through the community midwives in South Belfast.

What happened was that I was seen only by the six of them through the pregnancy. They went on call for me from 37 weeks. When I went in to labour I paged them, one came out to the house to assess me. When it was time to go in she drove behind us to the hospital - she'd already called ahead to warn them we were on our way. A room had been set aside for us, none of the hospital midwives were involved at all. She delivered ds, waited with us for the paed to have him checked and then came home with us and only left once we were settled back in, two hours after the birth.

As an halfway house between hospital and home birth it was brilliant. There was complete continuity of care, we knew and trusted all of the team as we'd already met them. They do Dominos regularly over there so have an established set-up. The only negative aspect we noticed was a certain degree of frostiness from the hospital midwives afterwards as we left.

I've since gone on to have a home birth and have another home birth planned for #4 in January. If the community team will do it, go for it Good luck!

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 04/12/2007 17:36

I'll speak to them about that as well then! I'm more panicked about wanting to come home ASAP and not stay in the hospital on my own and there are so many rules that I want to break! lol

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 04/12/2007 17:50

Just read through the birth plan (am waiting for the printer software to d/l) and it says no-one can make you stay at the hospital longer than you want. Is this true? I thought you HAD to stay until the pead saw baby at least.

MaeWestYeMerryGentlemen · 04/12/2007 17:58

My mum had a domino birth with her third (and last) baby. This was in 1985, have not heard anyone use the term. She feels that it was her 'best' birth experience - following a 70s hopped up on pethedine hospital birth (me) and a fast and furious unplanned homebirth (middle brother).

It may have been because it was her 3rd, but she said it was great to build up a relationship with the community midwives, they came and checked her over at home, she went into hospital at abou 6pm, brother born at 10pm, home again the next day.

I had a homebirth with my first last year as I was 'low risk' pregnancy and it felt right. Went fine, great experience. I have read the other thread and feel it is a really good balanced one, interesting to read and made me think...

Tangle · 04/12/2007 18:10

Nobody can do ANYTHING to you that you don't want! Mary Cronk is apt to say that "allow" isn't a word to use to a mentally competent adult...

They can't force you to stay, although once you're in hospital it's probably easier to get the checks done by a paed - but you could go to your GP instead if you really wanted to.

Neither can they force you to have any form of augmentation of labour or a CS. That said, there are good reasons why they might recommend them. The challenge is knowing whether the recommendation is because of a real medical issue or because of convenience. If you do wind up in hospital that's where a confident birth partner can be worth their weight in gold.

The homebirth yahoo group is very informative (you'll find the link on the homebirth website), and may be able to give you regional advice. I know that domino care isn't available where I live, but hopefully you'll be more lucky

I had my first baby at home this April using independent midwives (the CMW wasn't at all pro homebirth and unfortunately destroyed my confidence in the CMW team as a whole, probably unfairly), and I'd do it again tomorrow

Good luck

Sabire · 04/12/2007 18:14

Hiya,
Unless they offer domino (which stands for domicillary in and out) births in your area it won't be an option for you. It used to be on offer in quite a few areas, but not so much these days.

I think the most important thing for you to get your head around, whether you go to hospital or stay at home, is that nobody can force you into anything when it comes to having your baby. They can ADVISE you to do certain things, but they can't 'make' you do them. And that goes for everything, whether it's continuous monitoring during labour, induction, birth positions, whatever.

However, if you want not to be sucked into the 'sausage machine' you have to be prepared to take responsibility for your choices, which is something that not many people these days are willing to do. We want to choose how we give birth but we also want the professionals that support us to always guarantee that all our choices will be 100% safe, and the truth is that this will never happen.

They aren't supposed to tell you that you're not 'allowed' a homebirth - it is your choice. I know women who've had VBACs at home with the community midwives after having been told they weren't 'allowed' to. What these women did was go above the head of their community midwife and contact the supervisor of midwives. Generally the higher you go up the 'food chain' the less bullying you get.

What I suggest you do is what someone else on this thread has said - look at the information on AIMS and on the Yahoo Homebirth list. If you can find out whether your local branch of the NCT has a homebirth contact it would be useful to talk to her as she is likely to have good local knowledge and might even have contacts at the hospital that could smooth your way if you run into any problems.

Before you meet with your midwife find out what your Trust's stance on homebirth is. I'm sure you'll find that they produce a leaflet on place of birth which encourages women to consider homebirth as an option. I know our trust does and I'm sure you'll find your trust is the same as it's now government recommendation that all women be informed of the option of homebirth.

If you do decide to have a homebirth
(and remember that you can opt out at any point up to and during labour), then tell your midwife 'I would like to book to have my baby at home'. I advise that you don't get involved in trying to justify your reasons and you respond to negativity by simply repeating your request politely, ie "I appreciate your concern but I still wish to have my baby at home." If it looks like serious obstacles are being put in your way or you are told that a midwife won't be available then don't argue - simply write directly to the supervisor of midwives and raise the issue with her. Make sure you take a note of the name of the midwife who was negative and if possible write down verbatim what she said. I know it sounds a bit overboard but I can guarantee you that midwives and gp's wouldn't say half the stupid, non-evidence based things about homebirth to pregnant women if they thought their comments were going to filter back to senior staff.

Anyway - good luck. Be strong!

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 04/12/2007 18:27

Thankyou Sabire.
My MW apt is tomorrow at 2:30 so I best start researching! lol

Will look into whether there is any info on where.

I'm hoping she'll be nice about it and helpful but I'm just worried they're going to use my weight or the fact that this will be my first (although according to the HB website i should still be ok)

MarsSelectionBoxLady · 04/12/2007 18:53

good advice there Sabire

Tangle · 04/12/2007 21:07

They told me that I shouldn't have a homebirth because it was my first baby. Having done some homework () I asked what specific problem that was likely to cause... bascially an "untested pelvis" (hate that expression) so things might stall and/or go very slowly. So I asked how transfering in for lack of progress was different to transfering in for a booked hospital birth... No answer!

Fingers crossed you get a postive meeting

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 04/12/2007 21:40

I'll have to remember that one Tangle. Thanx

MaeWestYeMerryGentlemen · 04/12/2007 21:44

I got that from my mw too Tangle. She wasn't unsupportive as such, I think she saw it as 'letting me down gently' if things didn't go the way I'd planned.

Tangle · 04/12/2007 22:03

I think our CMW's favourite expression became "I'm a very cautious person". I can't fault her ante-natal care, but I was a bit sad that after talking to her about home birth for a while the most 'positive' thing she seemed to say was that she might be on holiday and so wouldn't necessarily be the midwife on call...

Talking to other mums in the area, as soon as I say the CMW was cautious they know exactly who she was - which makes me think the rest of the CMW team would have been much more supportive.

We did actually book an NHS home birth before changing to IMs at about 37 weeks. Whilst in theory you can plan on hospital but decide to birth at home whilst you're in labour, it's got to be easier to plan on home but go in if you feel like it. Being diplomatic with the CMW, it was a way to keep our options open and allow the midwives to plan (get forms signed, prepare directions, deliver home birth kit, etc).

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 04/12/2007 22:25

I was planning to go in hospital the whole time but after all the RULES i'm more determind to have HB.
I think you're right though, gotta be easier to plan a HB and go in to hospital if I can't cope.

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 05/12/2007 17:38

I'm so and after MW apt. She did all her normal stuff and everything fine except baby is still measuring big. So she's booked me in for a growth scan next week and then just said ok thanks.... as in hint hint, we're done. SO I said I wanted to have a homebirth and what did she need from us for that. The response I had was sooo un-encouraging.

She started with all the rules.... You can't have a HB unless you're normal (so if scan shows big baby they won't let me have one) you have to be over 38 weeks and the pack has to be at the house.
"Do I realise that first babys can labour for over 24 hours?" yes "Do you think you'll be able to cope with the pain as we can't give you anything" (I forgot to ask if anything meant no G&A either) I've got birthing ball and hopefully pool. Also TENS machine on order.

So I said when can we expect the pack at our house then. Well we'll decide at your 38 weeks apt if you're acceptable for a HB and then send pack out. If the pack doesn't get to you before labour then you'll have to go into hospital to have the baby.

I'm so fed up of all these rules!! I mean HTF did women used to give birth bfore all this started? I'm just so defeated.

Tangle · 05/12/2007 18:16

Oh no {{{{hugs}}}} Just remember that it's not for them to "allow" you to have a homebirth. You've told them that's what you want and they should (yeah, I know ) be acting accordingly. They can't force you into hospital, afterall...

If you still want to book a homebirth then it sounds like it might be time to write to your head of midwives at your hospital - there's sample letters on either AIMS and/or the homebirth website. There's also some info on the radical midwives site.

The homebirth kit should include G&A. And planning a home birth doesn't mean you'll refuse to move to hospital if circumstances change, such as you decide actually an epidural looks like heaven on earth ;) It's certainly not a given, though - DD was 9lb 12, I used TENS for the first stage, jumped in the pool for transition, jumped out and forgot to put it back on so actually birthed her with just fresh air

It would probably also be worth digging into the "big baby" issue so you've got some info - near term size estimates are notoriously innacurate, sometimes by significant amounts (I think I read of a lady that was predicted a 9lb+ boy and had a 7lb daughter ), and that goes for palpation or ultrasound. Plus why is a large baby a contra-indicator to a homebirth? Research does not suggest that size of baby is a usefull indicator for predicting shoulder dystocia (which seems to be their usual worry). As for failure to progress, how is that a blue light emergency?

Sorry - I know you probably know most of this already, but I'm just so on your behalf.