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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Sabire - Please talk to me about Home Births and Domino Births

43 replies

LuckySalem · 04/12/2007 16:07

Hi Sabire.

Hope you don't mind me harassing you. Saw you're post on the thread about why people have/having homebirths.

I'm about to have my first baby (in 4 weeks) and was all for a hospital birth until I went in for the labour tour and got told all the rules!! (Including notes about how long to press the buzzer and the fact that they didn't have time to let the cord pulse) They also have a strict timeing for how long a labour should last (somewhere between 6 and 20 hours) and that I would HAVE to stay in for 2 days so they could make sure I'm breastfeeding properly. DP would be sent home if its outside of visiting hours (which I understand but really hate)

Now I want to have a homebirth but am worried about a few aspects. For example - I don't know enough to know if MW's are lying to me (another reason I don't want a hospital birth anymore)

I read about domino births and like that idea abit but am guessing will probably have the same problems in the hospital. Can you please tell me what it's all about?

I'm going to see my MW tomorrow and need to make sure I know my stuff so that I can't be persuaded out of it if i'm safe enough to have one. IYKWIM

I don't know if there are actually any questions in there but noticed your a HB NCT advisor and thought you could help.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Slacker · 05/12/2007 18:34

There are no rules for being allowed a homebirth, if you want to give birth at home you can full stop. What is it with these stupid midwives who think they have all the power in this situation?

Look at the Homebirth website for help with making it clear to midwives that you're going to have a homebirth (escalate it to the head of midwifery at the hospital). You can still have a homebirth even if you don't have a homebirth pack at your house, you/DH would just tell them that you didn't have it when you phone in labour. You don't have to see this particular midwife again if you don't want to (there's a letter somewhere on the homebirth site for refusing care from an unhelpful midwife).

And you don't have to have a growth scan if you don't want to, they're pretty meaningless.

Tangle · 05/12/2007 18:37

Sorry - interrupted by crying baby.

Also meant to say join up to the yahoo group - you'll find lots of women that have been through exactly what you're going through so you'll get lots of support (and more support is never a bad thing ;)).

chin up, chuck - whatever they say, it's YOUR decision to make, not their's to allow .

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 05/12/2007 18:51

Hi,

Thanks for the advice, I just don't feel strong enough or knowledgable enough to know what to do next. I don't necissarily want to write to all these different people cos they haven't really said "you can't" just again with the rules! I don't get why we need so many of them.

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 05/12/2007 19:50

Also, I really want a birth pool but if I wait till the 38 week mark (2 weeks away) i'm not going to be able to guarantee it'll be here in time. BUT if they aren't going to let me have one it'll be a waste of money.

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 05/12/2007 20:18

Well Sod it!! I've bit the bullet and bought a birth pool!! It says we can get full refund if the pool is unopened and unused. So I've bought the pool and we're not going to open it till the 38 week checkup when they say "all ok" WHICH THEY WILL IF THEY KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR THEM.

What is the average weight? Are growth scans accurate or not?

Slacker · 05/12/2007 20:39

There you are again, saying "if they aren't going to let me have one..." - they can't not let you have one! Even if they kept telling you you're not eligible, if you phoned in labour and said you're not coming into hospital and wanted a midwife to come to you, they would have to provide care for you.

But it might give you peace of mind if you talk to someone more helpful than the midwife you've seen, and confirm that you are continuing to plan a homebirth regardless of their 'rules' - you are not bound by their policies. You may well find that the head of midwifery is more open minded and then you can relax about it. Would you feel up to phoning her if you don't want to write? You can refuse further care from the unhelpful midwife if you want, see here

Growth scans can be at least a pound out so no they're not always accurate, see here. And it's your choice whether to have one or not, you don't have to jump through any hoops to get your homebirth.

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 05/12/2007 20:46

Cheers Slacker - The only reason i'm still on "if they don't let me" is cos I don't feel knowledgable. However, having been a horserider for YEARS I know that I have a very wide pelvis and if the only excuse they can give me is that the baby is too big then they can go jump! lol

I've spoken with DP about the growth scan and he wants us to go so that he can get another picture and another glimpse at the baby (i'm sure its also so he can try and find out the sex.... lol)

Thanks for everything. Will try and keep chin up. Ordered the pool and should arrive Friday. TENS machine is due here a week on Friday and we've got our birth ball. I feel so prepared!!

Tangle · 05/12/2007 21:06

Sadly society is getting more and more litigious, and it's much easier to defend doing something than doing nothing - even if the "something" isn't proven to help.

You do have an option to do nothing. Go to the appointments they've made. Smile and nod and don't kick up a fuss. When you go into labour, call the hospital and tell them you're staying at home and expect them to send a midwife + kit.

You could go for your 38 week appointment and reiterate that you want a home birth. Yes, you know it might take a while as a first baby but you'd like to give it a whirl and if you have to transfer in due to tiredness / insufficient pain relief / whatever then you have to transfer in (oh - and you don't HAVE to go in an ambulance either, although the midwives might tell you so. Would you have an ambulance if you'd just stayed at home before a planned hospital birth? Most likely not...)

If the scan does indicate the baby is larger than normal, you could still go for your 38 week appointment and reiterate that you want a home birth. You know that size estimates from scans are not accurate, and even if they have predicted your baby's size correctly it doesn't mean that you're going to need assistance. Most women don't grow babies they cannot birth - and being in a relaxing environment where you are free to adopt the positions where you feel comfortable is only going to make it easier.
Re. shoulder dystocia, the RCOG guidelines on shoulder dystocia basically state that the link between shoulder dystocia and size is poor - nearly half of cases occuring in babies of "normal" (

bohemianbint · 05/12/2007 21:20

Hey LuckyStar,

Your midwife sounds like a bit of a nightmare - and like she doesn't want the hassle of a HB! Well, it's your birth not hers.

I had a HB with my first child 16 months ago. I started to go overdue and I was so determined not to have a hospital birth, even if I went over, that I got really feisty. I spent ages on the AIMS website, the sample letters are brilliant, totally recommend using them. I was ready for a fight with anyone.

Luckily, didn't need to fight. Got my homebirth, 2 midwives and 1 student all to myself (which is a bonus with HB, the midwives are there for the duration and can't just bugger off and leave you alone!) The whole thing took about 4hours (which I'm attributing to the hypnobirthing, but that's another story!)

Anyway, if you want it, you're entitled to it, and if you go into labour and refuse to go in they have to send someone to you.

There's always the chance that you might have to transfer (I nearly did) - but at least you'll know you tried. It would be awful if you regretted being bullied into some mad regimented birth you didn't want.

HTH a bit - good luck! Keep us posted.

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 06/12/2007 17:29

Thanks for all the advice guys.

I was talking to DP about this and wondered if I rang the labour ward and said I'm in labour and I'm having it at home can they refuse to send someone?

Snaf · 06/12/2007 18:03

No, they can't refuse - although they'll try. They have a legal requirement to attend a woman in labour regardless of place of birth - care should to go you, you don't have to go to it, iyswim!

Having said that, be prepared for all sorts of flim-flam from them - too busy, you'll be taking mws away from women on LW who need them, can't wake up the community mw etc! All rubbish, of course. Trouble is it can be quite tricky to stand your ground when you are in labour and really want to be concentrating on something else!

That's why it's a great idea to do as others have said and write that letter informing them that you will be having a homebirth (although you are happy to transfer if things go pear-shaped, obviously...) and reminding them of their legal duty to provide you with a midwife. Write straight to your Head Of Midwifery - I wouldn't waste anymore time trying to talk to your cmw, tbh, she sounds like a dead loss.

God, it makes me so cross that you are having to jump through these hoops. Best of luck and have a lovely birth

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 07/12/2007 16:40

Pool arrived today.
Not opened the pool as agreed with DP.
Going for growth scan on Tuesday and hopefully the consultant will tell us then that the HB will be ok. Is that likely at all?

I want a HB - I'm trying to get DP to be abit more forceful for me cos I can't.

camillathechicken · 07/12/2007 16:53

AIMS info about if you are refused a homebirth before or during labour

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 07/12/2007 17:06

Cheers lulu - Will ask consultant on Tues and if he seems to think it's wrong I'll get the reasons and sort out a letter or something.

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 07/12/2007 17:38

Forgot to say - Had my Antinatal apt last night and the whole way through it they're saying we'll tell you more about this on the ward. (subjects like breast feeding, Anti D injections, Group B Strep?) is it me or should this be being discussed as a whole?

bohemianbint · 09/12/2007 12:28

Breast feeding is something they should be telling you about before hand in an ideal world. I read nothing about anything to do with what happens after the baby arrives. A bit of knowledge about that could be really helpful beforehand.

As for the other stuff, no one ever discussed any of it with me. What is anti D? Neither me or DS had any injections, Vit K or syntocin, but again, that's because I refused them.

LuckyStarOfBethSalem · 09/12/2007 14:11

The anti D injection is apparently something you have to have if youre Rheseus Negative (which I am) but I don't understand why or when or anything. I've had some injections during the pregnancy but I don't know about after the preg (cos they're gonna tell me on the ward apparently)

Tangle · 09/12/2007 18:14

The Anti-D is only given if your Rhesus -ve. It's intended to stop the Rh- mother generating antibodies that could impact on any future Rh+ babies you might have. The NICE guidelines discuss why you get offered it while you're pregnant. From what I can see, they usually test the cord blood of babies born to Rh- mothers and, if the baby is Rh+, offer a further injection.

It would be sensible for them to talk about all of this before you're on the ward. What happens if you labour very fast?

If you want to do some of your own reading, the homebirth website has a fair amount of information on GBS, or there's the GBS Support website (although my personal opinion is that offering IV antibiotics to ALL GBS+ve women is using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, but that's another story!).

For breast feeding, you might want to see if there are any breast feeding support groups in your area - try asking your GP, your local NCT, or your health visitor team whether there's anything regular. If they don't have any suggestions, try contacting the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers or the La Leche League.

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