Got to 9cm and ended up with c section. Really struggling.

[Ivybutterfly]

I am struggling after another terrible birth. I needed induced due to gestational diabetes. Induction went well and I got to 9cm, then labour stalled. Taken into theatre for forceps delivery and that failed. Ended up with c section. This was not my first birth so I felt it should have gone better. I am feeling really traumatised. I am blaming myself for having an epidural as well. I am also upset as I might want another child in the future but it would mean a third c section. That scares me.

Ahhh OP, I’m sorry. I had gestational diabetes with my second too.

I just opted for a c section though and didn’t even try for a VBAC.

I understand you feeling traumatised. Do you have anyone to talk this through with? Maybe a debrief at the hospital?

I’m sending hugs. Take good care of yourself.

Thank you everyone for your posts. They have really helped. I don’t have anyone else to talk to. My husband doesn’t get it. I will have a debrief at the hospital. I did that after my other emergency c section.

My birth was terrible for the following reasons.
1: 4 days in hospital.
2: over 18 hours of constant painful contractions. The hurt more when being induced.
3: multiple vaginal examinations and medical interference. Had my water broke which hurt. They tried before and failed.
4; failed instrumental delivery with forceps which was painful and dehumanising.
5: c section.
6: mediocre midwife who really did not care. Actually had loads of different midwifes but the worst one was when I really needed her.

It sounds really crap. No wonder you feel crap. But you really don’t need to feel like you failed or did anything wrong or bad. You had bad luck, that’s all. Birth is a total lottery (I’ve had three, one c-section, one “natural”, one full on forceps drag out - it was entirely random and circumstantial in each case and NOTHING to do with what I did or didn’t do).

You have a lovely baby. The memory of the crap birth will fade and will seem much less important as you build new wonderful memories with your baby.

It’s ok and totally understandable to feel like you were dealt a shit hand. You were. But please don’t feel bad about yourself - that is (in the nicest possible way) utterly daft :-)

You’ve got 2 healthy children. That’s not a failure!!

Op that sounds incredibly hard. No wonder you feel shell shocked

A debrief sounds good but if you want some support between times or before that can happen please don’t forget the Tommy’s helpline. The midwives there really helped me