I think that because birth is such a big deal it feels like you need to be doing a lot to prepare.
I did the positive birth company course and NCT. Planned a zen, candle lit water birth… four days into labour, meconium in my waters, stopped/dropped baby heartbeat and an induction later I ended up with an epidural, episiotomy and a ventouse. Felt like a total failure because I hadn’t carried through my intention/stayed positive/been able to do what my body was designed to.
Obviously the breathing and hypnobirthing works for a lot of people and you’re not going to do any harm by practising meditation and calming breathing. However, because so much of hypnobirthing focuses on dispelling the idea that birth is a painful medical experience they discourage you from reading anything “negative”. I think I would have seriously benefited from reading some of those negative stories and being better prepared.
Listening to positive birth company and similar you end up thinking an induction and or an epidural will lead to more interventions with serious long term consequences. I’m sure that sometimes that’s true. But it’s also true that those interventions exist because doctors and midwives (who know a lot more about giving birth than I do) think that they are a good idea.
Perhaps I could have carried on and pushed through the pain instead of having an epidural - but I hadn’t slept in four days and was starting to panic, the epidural gave me time to sleep and the strength to push. Perhaps I could have refused the induction to reduce the risk of interventions - but my baby was possibly in distress and the risk increased the longer I waited. Perhaps I could have refused the episiotomy and ventouse and eventually pushed DD out naturally - but then how would I have felt if something had gone wrong and DD had suffered/died as a result?
By giving the impression that doctors want you to have these interventions for reasons other than your safety and the safety of your baby they make women feel scared, unsupported and more likely to refuse necessary help. I know because I tried to argue that I didn’t need an episiotomy while completely incapable of thinking straight - looking back that was mad!
Learning to relax, breathe and not assume the birth will be a nightmare makes perfect sense. But also read about the other side - you need to be prepared that if things don’t go perfectly it’s still ok! So long as you and the baby come out alive and not permanently harmed then it’s ok - a serene experience would be the icing on the cake but in many, many cases nothing you do, either to prepare or during the birth, is going to make any difference.
Get as much sleep as you can, read about breastfeeding (if you want to do it) and be kind to yourself. It’s going to be hard but it’s going to be worth it x