What was the best thing you did to prepare for birth?

[notalwaysalondoner]

I'm due in 2 weeks and haven't done much birth prep - we did NCT and I got through about half of the positive birth company videos, I had good intentions to practice breathing and massage with DH etc. but haven't stuck to it. So I wondered what things you did to prepare for birth, and which of them were actually worth doing?

Some things I've considered include:

• Meditation/guided relaxation
• Breathing practice (but what does this actually involve...?!)
• Perineal massage
• Aniball
• Raspberry leaf tea/supplements
• Practice massage with DH
• Practice meditation with DH (e.g. the 'arm stroking' meditation from positive birth company)
• Exercise (to keep as fit as possible) - I'm currently walking ~40 minutes per day and doing yoga once per week

What did you think was actually worth doing? Is there something you'd do differently next time round?

Sorry to say but neither with my first or second did anything prepare me for it. My midwife sister was present for ds1 birth and I distinctly remember her saying for months before about tiny little pushes buy big breaths when crowning...and then in labour seeing the look of absolute horror on her face as my son was born face up (her expecting me to rip to shreds) .... her advice stopped me from tearing or needing an assisted delivery. For my ds2 I thought ha piece of piss...4 hour first labour...winning... 17 hours in labour, waters broke at 6cm and he was born 14 minutes later...fast birth shocked him into not breathing on his own and he was rushed out to be resuscitated elsewhere and brought back an hour later (we were on the birth centre that had no equipment to do resuscitation on). I don't mean to scare, but nothing in the world can prepare you for the birth or the bloody intense love you feel as soon as you see your little human. Just take alllllll the pain relief you need. There's no medals for being brave, that would be my advice x

Accept that you have zero control! I know that sounds kind of defeated before you start, but I honestly found it helped me to not have any expectations and just go with what my body was doing and telling me.

Clean house (thanks mum)
Decided to trust my body to know what to do.
Wish I'd known about maternity pads and jugs by the toilet to pour on your privates when you wee to take the sting out of it.

After 3 of say hypnobirthing, without a doubt.

For the post-birth bit, batch cooking for the freezer. Even better if someone can do it for you

Agree that if it's something you are able to sit though, you should binge watch several series of one born every minute. I learnt so much from watching birth after birth, seeing the things that can and do happen. It definitely gave me knowledge and a sense of agency.

And yes - YouTube videos of home births too!

Know to ask for a PMA midwife if I wasn’t happy.

Tell your OH that they need to advocate for you loudly. It’s no time to be a pushover.
Sleep as much as you can if you know when burth might be or in early stages.
It can be really hard to get discharged, if you want to get out, you need to start the process early as everything takes ages.
Eat something, even though you might see it again a few hours later.
You might throw up, you might do a shit, no-one cares

I also came here to say kick off until you get an elective section .

Other than that:

• If you plan to breastfeed, book an appointment with a lactation consultant before the baby arrives. Things might not go according to plan/you might find it hard so it helps to have a session set up.

• Be as fit as possible. I found recovery really easy, and I think it's because I stayed really active through pregnancy.

• Go to the cinema (if they're open!). I probably wouldn't shell out for a babysitter just to see a film these days, but I do miss the cinema.

I don't recall doing anything except pack a bag. I presumed my body would take control and that would be it.

I did hypnobirthing it really helped me.

Went swimming
Got a birth pool
Reminded myself that everyone in a huge packed stadium was the result of a woman giving birth
Reminded myself that if my ‘try with just a pool’ tactic was too much, I could ask for an epidural at any point
Remind myself that however hard it became it would stop, and every contraction was a contraction closer
Kept moving, kept upright.
Reminded myself that this was my time to demand without guilt. Asked DP and the midwife to stop chatting, said ‘no’ to a request for an additional student to attend.
Stopped drinking Raspberry Tea which tasted like mouldy hay mixed with cheap bath salts

It was fine. Hard work, not always comfortable, but fine.

Read about breathing in for 4 breaths and out for 8 to stay calm and told OH to count this for me when needed .
Downloaded Freya app- good for breathing and timing contractions
Remained open to having an epidural
Good luck!

Having unexpectedly ended up in hospital for a week with 48 hours notice (and most of that being antenatal) I was glad I'd done my hospital bag really well and 'trained' DP where spare everything was. And that I had time to get good snacks before I went in, between those and the Costa in the hospital I didn't go home hungry and deficient from being fussy about hospital food.

In the end that was all that was in my control and those little things did make my stay that bit more enjoyable!

I did pregnancy yoga. It was amazing. They focused heavily on breathing techniques. I swear it's the only reason I managed to get through a back to back labour with non stop contractions with no pain relief. I could focus on the breathing. It was a huge help.

Make sure your bag is packed. I was packing whilst in labour and it's not really advisable!

Oh and get hold of a TENs machine. I thought it was a load of bollocks til I used it in the early stages of induction, it was really helpful.

You can prepare by:
Being realistic
Having a vague birth plan
Having your bags packed so not panic packing whilst in labour
Deep breathing techniques- helped me loads
Had a chill out play list I made on my phone
I love yoga- so did lots of yoga whilst in labour, especially positions that helped lower back
Go in with an open mind
Accept it’s going to ducking hurt

Let go of the idea that it’s a wonderful mystical experience or the best day of your life or any of that crapola. It’s not a bloody spa day. If you’re lucky, after it’s over you and your baby will both be healthy with no permanent damage. But make no mistake, it’s about the most dangerous thing the average human goes through. Listen to your medical team, they are there to get the baby out safely. Good luck! The vast majority of mothers and babies are fine.

antenatal class with DS1.

as soon as they showed us a pair of foreceps I had a strange feeling we'd need those. we did🤣
I was glad they didn't scare me.

all the others? having solid plans for who would look after kids.

also writing "I want epidural" with big red letters on every page of my birth plan.

I got the info I needed re pain relief options etc.

Avoided making a birth plan since I wanted to be open to whatever was needed at the time.

I had no birth plan and actually I think that served me well.

I did not go in with any expectations or plans for position, music, water birth...... I just went into hospital determined to do whatever my body told me to do.

I did tell my husband I'd prefer not to have an epidural but that it wasn't a hard no so to just be sure I meant it if I asked for one.

I had an induction due a big baby as a result of GD. Had the pessary inserted, waited 24 hours very impatiently, it was extraordinarily hot in the hospital so I just kept walking out of the ward without telling anyone and wandered around the hospital grounds and even took a stroll to the local Tesco express for supplies. In hindsight probably shouldn't have in case anything happened but it didn't so hey ho.

The next day they were able to break my waters and it all went pretty fast after that, had some gas n air, paced around a lot and stayed on my feet the whole Labour. 4 and a half hours after they broke my waters I told the nurse who was at the other end of the ward that I needed to push, she was convinced baby had just changed position and told me she needed to finish some paperwork then would check me. I told DH to get ready to catch as I had to push, at which point she ran over, saw the head, shouted at me to get on the bed and for someone to come help, then they wheeled me down to a delivery room. About 1 min later baby arrived.

I just don't know how I could have planned for that. Do whatever feels right for you and tell whoever is going with you that there job is to standup for you and whatever you feel is right.

I did hypnobirthing (took classes with a midwife and practiced daily), pregnancy yoga, perineal massage, practiced Juju Sundin’s birth skills, read everything I could find on birth, did NCT and NHS classes, and kept very fit — and other than the fitness, I might as well have saved my time and money.

Make sure your partner knows how to advocate for you.

Make sure someone knows how you organise your wardrobe and the baby stuff in case you stay in longer then expected and need stuff bringing to you. (Husband couldn’t tell maternity from pre pregnancy stuff so just washed everything in the laundry basket and brought that)

First birth: I did what you listed.
Outcome: 37 hours of torture. Healthy baby.

Second birth: Nothing. Ate, slept, worked, rested, played with DC1, did absolutely nothing to “prepare”.
Outcome: 11 hours of a standard birth. Healthy baby.

Make of that what you will.