What was the best thing you did to prepare for birth?

[notalwaysalondoner]

I'm due in 2 weeks and haven't done much birth prep - we did NCT and I got through about half of the positive birth company videos, I had good intentions to practice breathing and massage with DH etc. but haven't stuck to it. So I wondered what things you did to prepare for birth, and which of them were actually worth doing?

Some things I've considered include:

• Meditation/guided relaxation
• Breathing practice (but what does this actually involve...?!)
• Perineal massage
• Aniball
• Raspberry leaf tea/supplements
• Practice massage with DH
• Practice meditation with DH (e.g. the 'arm stroking' meditation from positive birth company)
• Exercise (to keep as fit as possible) - I'm currently walking ~40 minutes per day and doing yoga once per week

What did you think was actually worth doing? Is there something you'd do differently next time round?

I recommend you make sure your birth partner is ready too. It really sucks when they let you down

Discuss your preferences for pain relief, interventions, monitoring etc with your DH/birth partner so they’re clear on what you want and can advocate for you if needed- be informed in your choices but also be prepared to need to change track and make quick decisions.

1. learn about labour - signs, states, how it works, options for pain relief, different interventions

2. colostrum harvesting (not for the x birth of course, but well worth the effort)

3)plan a lovely treat for every day from due date until two weeks later, to give you something positive if the baby is late

4)keep active (eg a walk each day), but also rest and sleep as much as comfortable

5. perineal massage

6. Read some Dick Grantley Read or Ina Mae Gaskell (not sure if I've remembered that correctly, but it'll be easy to Google). , it might inspire you.

7)if you find yourself in pain, use the opportunity to practise your calm breathing (I mean if you stub your toe, rather than if you need medical attention!)

8)have lots of sex. Might help bring on labour and you won't feel up to it for several weeks.

Aniball was such a waste of time and money for me. Hated doing it and really without all the hormones and pain relief etc. I didn't find it comparable to the birth experience at all.

If I had my time again I'd probably use the time to do more research into breast feeding. Had little to no help in hospital with the latch or positions and those first few days are quite crucial. I watched a load of hypno birthing videos that said it was so natural and the baby would know exactly what to do and latch on so naturally (tbf it is like this for some women). But that didn't happen for me and neither me or DD had a clue what we were doing!

I wished I'd watched some videos on getting a good latch and breastfeeding positions etc.

My hot tips:

1. CLEAN. I nested big time which is actually very unlike me in the 10 days or so before I went into labour. My house was spotless in a way it never has been before or since. I was so grateful for that when I didn't have the energy to clean at all for a few weeks after giving birth.

1. For me, the birth was actually fine. It hurt a lot and all that, but it happened and then it was over. (Like a PP I found breathing really useful for helping me to stay focused and calm, whereas gas and air made me feel weird as hell). What was a lot harder was the aftermath, which my NCT classes did not mention at all. The care was unfortunately very slow, the midwife who stitched my tear was inexperienced and freaked out a bit about it (and unfortunately told me!!!), and some over-cautious doctoring resulted in them putting a lot of pressure on me to have unnecessary additional procedures. I resisted, in spite of two members of staff becoming really quite irritated with me, because I know my body and it was perfectly obvious to me that what they were proposing was indeed completely unnecessary. So prep your DP (or other birthing partner) to help you push for prompt care and to support you in making and enforcing decisions after the birth as well as during.

Watch Netflix, lie down as much as you like, go for long lunches, coffee and cake, just chill. If this is your first baby, you'll never get this time again.
I did watch an NHS breathing tips video on YouTube too which helped more than I thought it would.

Abandoned all expectations of what was to come.

I've read so many birth books I think my favourite one is Birth Skills by Juju Sundin. Milli Hill's 2 books are cheap on amazon kindle today.

The Aniball scares the crap out of me - doesn't seem like a good idea at all!

Perineal massage apparently has a proven effect, but for most women it's just painful/uncomfortable and you'll never know whether it actually made a difference to you personally.

Breathing practice is about learning the techniques for breathing so that you kind of automatically go into them when you're in a stressful situation. I didn't find it was hugely important to know them perfectly. Knowing how to do relaxing/deep breathing is enough. Helps you through the early stages. By the time you get more into it it doesn't really cut it (IME).

Raspberry leaf tea can't hurt. I drank it with DC1, not with DC2, have ordered some for DC3. DC1's labour was insanely long so not sure it helped there. But it felt nice and exciting and "something to prepare", which is why I'm doing it again :) You can take it with sugar if you don't like the taste of it plain.

Massage practice not hugely necessary IME - if he's done it once he'll have the gist and can probably do it if you want him to do it. You also might get into labour and then be like get the fuck away from me.

Dunno about practising meditation with partner. I think I (and more importantly DH!) would have just not been able to take this seriously in advance. That said, being able to laugh together is no bad thing and laughter promotes oxytocin!

There's a good podcast for dads/birth partners, called The Ultimate Guide To Being a Birth Partner. The first 10 episodes are like the "basics" which are pretty worth listening to. They're all really short and direct and to the point with no waffling. IMO, episodes 3, 4, 6, 8 are the most important and all together that's only about an hour. So if you want to prepare your partner you could make him listen to those.

Being active/fit is definitely worth doing as long as you don't have any issues like SPD which could be made worse by exercising. Squats in particular and training yourself to hold a squat for a long time is brilliant in terms of birth positions!

Sorry meant to add to massage practice. The main thing here is that he understands you need it to be VERY HARD pressure. That doesn't need loads of practice especially if it's just going to make you both giggle. But if he's just going to do a wet kind of half-hearted massage it will do absolutely nothing. He needs to do it hard enough that ordinarily it would hurt. That's the kind of level of massage that is useful in labour, and why it's useful to practice beforehand so that either your teacher can say yep, that's right / no, really harder than that, that isn't enough or you can be lucid enough to say yes that feels about right (which might be tricky if you haven't given birth before). When you're in labour, sometimes you can't really answer questions or give detailed feedback.

Thanks all, keep them coming, these are really useful!

I've tried harvesting colostrum but got discouraged after doing it for 5-10 mins with nothing, how many times a day did you do it and for how long, and how many days before you got enough to harvest? Think I need to accept it will take time, but my hands get tired!

Hire a tens machine. I used one for both births - couldn’t have done without it!

Write EPIDURAL in big letters on your 'birth plan'. Sleep. Watch TV.

I think the prep begins long before pregnancy. Make sure you're fit and a healthy weight if you can. Far less likely to have complications and to be able to cope. Giving birth is a v v physical experience!
And immediately afterwards just be kinder to yourself. Don't feel you have to be a perfect superwoman

I think the most useful thing I did was watch a load of videos on YouTube of births outside of the hospital setting, mostly unassisted. Births at home, in the garden, in a stream you name it I’ve watched it 🤣🤣 there’s also a film about Ida May Gaskins Farm which I watched when I was overdue which was also pretty good.

We never see childbirth outside of programs like one born every minute which are edited and curated for dramatic effect.

I found it so so helpful seeing other women give birth without any intervention. It gave me confidence in my body and I had a really good idea of what was to come. When I was in labour I could visualise what what happening to my body and I think that took a lot of the fear away. I knew what was meant to happen.

I also got more clued up about inductions and what they entailed so that I could make an informed choice should the topic come up.

Breathing. Breathing gets you through a lot (including, in my case, a seriously stuck 11lb back-to-back baby without pain relief until the forceps).

Be prepared to tear up your birth plan if things don't go the way you hoped.

You won't give a monkey's whether your husband is there to massage your arm or not. You will be entirely focussed on getting the baby out, and his presence or absence will be irrelevant.

If you do want someone else at the birth, choose an experienced woman who has had children and can advocate for you if things go wrong and you can't advocate for yourself.

@EmRata95

I have 4 DC, and If I could go back in time I'd have elective sections. And that's my honest advice to anyone who asks.

This, too. I had ELCS with subsequent DC and don't regret it.

Agree with most of this thread. I did massively rate my Tens machine so I'm glad I had that. Everything else was in the lap of the gods really. Aromatherapy and playlists didn't cross my mind for a second! And I'd spend so much time thinking about them

Get music ready on my phone and some comfy headphones - helped calm me down in the early stages of labour.

But the main thing that helped was getting freezer meals ready- batch cooking meals we know we love and that are fairly healthy (bolognese, chicken curry etc) as well as ready made freezer food we like. For example cod fillets etc. It helped so much as we could just bung it in the microwave or oven as we were too tired to cook even the most basic of meals; I got so hungry breastfeeding and you need proper nutritious meals!

If you’re giving birth in hospital I recommend taking some food which keeps (or in a cool bag for afterwards).

With both ds’s I seemed to miss every meal going for one reason or another, and although tea and toast is lovely afterwards, I def needed a bit more than that.

@EmRata95

I have 4 DC, and If I could go back in time I'd have elective sections. And that's my honest advice to anyone who asks.

This I was just coming in here to say 'book an elective section

You really can't plan as every birthing experience is different. I ended up with three c sections and every one of those was for a different reason and completely different experiences. Rest and put your feet up and enjoy your time before baby arrives

Hire a TENS machine. It's different for everyone and I don't want to minimise others' experiences, but for me labour was totally fine and manageable - I think the TENS really, really helped. Agree watching breastfeeding vids is also a good shout. I've exclusively breastfed both my children but literally don't really understand what people do with harvested colostrum? Is it for if the baby latches poorly so you can top them up?

@PinkPlantCase

I think the most useful thing I did was watch a load of videos on YouTube of births outside of the hospital setting, mostly unassisted. Births at home, in the garden, in a stream you name it I’ve watched it 🤣🤣 there’s also a film about Ida May Gaskins Farm which I watched when I was overdue which was also pretty good.

We never see childbirth outside of programs like one born every minute which are edited and curated for dramatic effect.

I found it so so helpful seeing other women give birth without any intervention. It gave me confidence in my body and I had a really good idea of what was to come. When I was in labour I could visualise what what happening to my body and I think that took a lot of the fear away. I knew what was meant to happen.

I also got more clued up about inductions and what they entailed so that I could make an informed choice should the topic come up.

I think I watched all the same ones!! I love watching women labour and it is useful to notice the positions they get into in naturalistic settings. Like Bertie earlier in the thread, I think learning about the stages of labour is helpful and about optimum positioning - there is a website called spinning babies which I’m not suggesting you need to do all the exercises from, but it’s helpful to understand how babies most easily come out and how we can use our bodies in ways that support this. And I wish I had known - your pelvic floor exercises are important! Do them religiously for your remaining days. Good luck.

Be prepared your birth plan will go out of the window. I wasn't for the first, but the second and third I was what will be will be.

Just know that your contractions can get so close together that the next one can start before the last one's barely finished and there's no time to recover. This took me by surprise and I thought something was going wrong.