How to cope with being "overdue"?

[Glimmer]

I am 41+3 according to LMP (42+0 according to early scan) today and need some support to cope with with being "overdue". I had planned home waterbirth with independent midwife, who is supporting whichever decision I want to make about induction (currently scheduled for next Wednesday 42+1 LMP, 42+5 scan).

I find the wait very hard and would be interested in what helped you to cope. I don't seem to find any balance between rest and activity, distraction and resting, stressing and getting information. Trying all the traditional home remedies plus vigorous acupuncture, but am getting frustrated, so stopped for the time being.

Baby seems to be fine and while the main stressor is that I fear for his health and worry about stillbirth, this is now just as much about my mental state as his physical health.

Have tried all the 'is there something that I need to address?', visualization, positioning (he is in very good position now), and asked him if 'there is anything he needs before coming' to no avail. Have plenty of issues and post-traumatic stress after previous miscarriage with complications but done everything in my power to at least address these.

What helped you and how did you cope?

I found comoft eating was good along with on-line retail therapy and the odd pedicure and massage! Try not to think about it too much as you will go bonkers - my ds2 was 10 days late!

Good luck

comfort LOL

Thanks for your tips. Haven't tried LOL.
Loopy -- how exactly was LO coaxed out? Was it an induction and if so, would you do it again?

I ate myself into labour

I would keep trying the tradional home remecy of - lots of sex! At least it will take your mind off the situation

I was 42+4. Exactlt the same with independant midwife. Kept bouncing and bouncing on ball, walking walking whilst visualising that I was helping the baby to descend. Your midwives will support you past 43 weeks if you want with daily visits and listens with sonicaid.

I would wait till 43 weeks before induction, it will happen, have faith. A beautiful home waterbirth is worth waiting for. Your midwives will wip you to the labour ward in a flash if neccessary.

I heaved my bump round and round the fields beside my village... and knelt flopped over my birth ball to watch tv, posted on the VBAC board I went to for support, swimming, I don't recall what else I did....

Tried a few sweeps, 2 couldn't be done and the last one at 42wks scan or 40+5 lmp showed me to be 2cms with a Bishop's Score of 8. Had my VBAC the next day.

If there's a next time, I will not be going to the hospital for useless talks with registrars, I will not be having sweeps and I WILL be having lunch with friends, getting manicures and Indian Head massages, enjoying swimming every day, baking, getting early nights, and just chilling!

I hope you're well and coping today glimmer. I'm afraid I don't have any advice that hasn't been mentioned already.
My sister always went over - 4 days, 11 days, 19 days and 16 days - and I remember her becoming quite unhinged at times, it seemed really tough, so you have my sympathies. Klaw's advice seems very wise, but I think it might be hard to follow when you're in the thick of playing the waiting game.

GOOD LUCK xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yes Rubles, it's very hard to follow when you're waiting and begin to think it's NEVER going to happen!

Which is why we need to keep reminding ladies to plan nice, simple treats and to listen to their bodies and instincts. Because if you are worried about anything it's always best to get checked out, and then come home again when all is well.

So Glimmer, have you had a nice gentle weekend or is there a BA coming our way very soon!

Hi there,
My little one was 41+4 and I think the best advice here was from Loopymumsy, plan lovely things to do every day. I am so glad I did, I love my little dd so much, but I'm glad I made the most of the last few weeks. OK, it's not exactly comfortable and you are desperate for things to get going, but if you can, indulge in lunch with friends, a pedicure, movie (if you can sit for that long) and anything else entirely for you. It's the best way to get through the days but actually use them too! I run my own business so I actually spent a couple of hours a day working too!!
By the way, I tried the hottest every Jalfrezi from the local curry house, delicious but entirely useless!!!

Glimmer, thanks for starting this - I'm 40+5 today, and getting really fed up.

Found that the phone calls/text messages that people insist on sending me are really getting me down. I know they're just interested and can't wait for news, but I just feel like telling them all to bugger off (completely unreasonable I know!)

Hopefully we'll be on our way soon....

Kekuoan, record a new message for the ansaphone/voicemail (be as wicked as you dare!) and screen all calls. Don't talk to anyone who will make you feel down...

Put a note on the front door saying that you are not answering to anybody unless mw etc.

Next time someone asks if you've had the baby yet tell them "yes of course, I knew there was something I forgot, now where did I put that baby?..." or something equally stupid!

or "yes, but I couldn't be bothered to tell you"

I know how fed up you get with people asking 'have you had it yet?' but by the time I got to 42 wks everyone stopped asking which was almost as bad! I went on a lot of walks and tried to do nice things that I wouldn't be able to do with a baby, eg. went out for dinner with best mate, to the cinema with dh. Oh, and had a glass of wine when went out with friend as was getting a bit 'well if you don't like it in there you can blinking well come out kid' about the whole thing. I also tried to stop focusing on 'when will it come' and relax. Didn't work, I was induced at 42+1, but I was fairly calm by that stage.

Heh, thanks Klaw. No answerphone unfortunately! Luckily my mobile doesn't get much signal at home, and only immediate family have the house number (very deliberate) so it's not too bad.

Does my sister really think I'll forget to tell her when it arrives... ARGH!!

sweep tomorrow. joy. :-p

I think some people just have longer pregnancies than others. I went 2 weeks over with 2 of my 3 children, and 1 week over with the third, and I have to say, that if they're not ready to come, then they're just not ready.

DD1 - Induced at 42 weeks - must have been ready as a 4 hour labour, natural delivery - no probs.

DD2 - Arrived in 2 hours (only 30 mins in the labour ward!) at 41 weeks - natural delivery no probs

DS - 42 weeks - just before (second) planned induction - 2.5 hours, semi-delivered into water - no probs, but was a big baby.

We tried to induce DS at 41 weeks, due to his large size and problems I was having with walking. But sweeps and 2 lots of gel wouldn't budge him - so I decided not to have waters' broken and to wait for another week - really glad I did, as all went very well in the end, and I think it's best to avoid intervention if you can.

If this is your first, I would say, relax and enjoy the peace and quiet - read lots and arrange lunches with friends etc! Have you done all your Christmas Shopping etc? Good Luck, hope it goes well.

Kekouan, be warned that mw might not be able to reach cervix to do sweep. If that is the case (and it's extremely likely!) just look on it as a sign that baby is not ready yet, and go home and enjoy pampering, treats and chill out time.

I had 1st attempt at 41wks, then another attempt at 41+5 and finally only the one at 42wks was performed successfully. I've decided that if there's a next time I won't bother having one at all. They only work if you're going to go into labour anyway so why put yourself through it. There are also risks of infection and accidently breaking your waters to add to the demoralisation...

If mw can't do it it can leave you feeling very demoralised. So I wanted to warn you in advance so that you can look on it as a positive and tell yourself and sis etc that you're not ready and not to expect anything until after the weekend.

Plan to have lunch with sis one day, massage from dh another day, a lovely swim most days, walks in your favourite areas, etc.... Don't tire yourself out, just gentle stuff, a good brisk walk is good but not for miles and miles!

Have a look at one of my favourites!

Also Natural induction like Nipple Stimulation, sex and relaxation (not Castor oil!)

Glimmer

I went 17 days over with dc4, having had 2 sections there was no way I could be induced so I just played the waiting game

For me it was the comments from everyone else, who all seemed to be amazed that I was allowed to be left so late and not having an induction.

I am one of those who believes that in the majority of cases your baby will come when he/she is ready. I was late, my siblings were late and my children were late (in life we are all early for everything, even my wedding).

Enjoy your time with your dh and just try and chill.

The day dc4 did come along I had spent about three hours running up and down stairs

I knitted like a mad woman (hence the name.) I also spent way to much time searching the internet to see if various symptoms could be the onset of labour. If only I'd spent that time lounging in bed - that's what I'd do again! Get down the beauty salon and have the full monty. Bake some cakes. Sort old photos. Try and have a holiday at home.

Message withdrawn

yeah i agree loads of sex... cause let's face it they'll be none afterwards.

I had dd at 43+3.
I coped by heaving my vast bulk around the park.
Eating lots of cake.
Snarling at anyone who asked if there was "any news yet?".
Wallowing in the bath and the local swimming pool.
Ironing. A lot of ironing.
Watching crap films.
Watching crap films while ironing.
Blogging.
Generally being vile to my DP.
Crying.
Gardening.
Bouncing on my ball.
Eating even more cake.
Sleeping.

Klaw - thanks a lot... I didn't realise that there was a chance the midwife wouldn't be able to do it, so thanks for the warning!

Would have been very dissapointed this afternoon if I'd got there and she said she wasn't able to do it..

Glimmer - sorry for hijacking the thread...