Homebirth

[SamLDN]

Looking for home birth stories. Positives/negatives....
I’m thinking about it. The thought of the mess puts me off and also needing to rush to the hospital if anything goes wrong. At the same time would be nice to be at home, especially with all the COVID restrictions etc at the hospital.

Would love to hear your stories to help me decide 😀

Honestly op, i know it sounds idealistic but I wouldn't risk it for baby number 1. As I said, I was so keen, tried it, ended up in hospital. I was actually pleasantly surprised with how nice the hospital rooms were. You have no idea how you're going to cope, contractions are horrific and I'd recommend an epidural any day of the week!

It is certainly an exaggeration to say they all "nearly died". About 5% of women have a post partum haemorrhage and 1% shoulder dystocia, it wouldn't be accurate to say that those women all "nearly died" during labour.

You also say that they're all fine now so I don't see why that is an argument against home birth, as those traumatic things likely would have happened if they were in hospital as well.

I loved giving birth at home, it seemed so cosy and natural. Had their been any difficulties I'd have been whisked to hospital promptly, but there were none. It was nice afterwards too, not having to be with unknown people and their visitors.

^One had a cord prolapse
One started haemorrhaging in her lounge
One’s baby got stuck due to the position of his shoulder ^

These are all serious events. But mothers do not die from cord prolapse or shoulder dystocia (babies do, yes) so there is a lot of hyperbole going on here.

Did any of these events happen during the course of a homebirth? That's our point; if these events did not have anything to do with homebirth, then what is the argument? Perhaps at some point your friends were all deemed inappropriate candidates for homebirth despite initially wanting one. That is part of the safety of homebirth- constantly assessing the safety for that particular woman and baby!

I didn't have a home birth wanted one but for various reasons was at a birth center.

I so wish I had gone for a home birth my son nearing died because the birth center midwives were too over stretched and thought I wouldn't give birth for at least another 24 hours - because of what statistics and textbooks say. In the end I had to crawl to the nurses station outside my room and demand to be examined. I had already been asking for 3 hours. In fact my word were examine me or I will be taking myself upstairs to the labour ward and I will keep going until someone listens to me. Low and fucking behold I was 10cm. During the 8 hours between being admitted and then no midwife had spent longer than a minute with us. If they had actually spent time with us they would have realised I wasn't in pre-labour like they thought I was.

I've had one good home birth and one terrible home birth. Just like my hospital births, it all came down to the HCPs involved. The setting had little to do with it.

The idea that all home birth midwives are supportive and attentive is just as much a myth as all hospital ones are pushy and dismissive. I saw way more of my midwives in my second hospital birth and they considered my needs and preferences even the ones they disagreed with more than in my second home birth where they walked in barking orders and refused to let me hold my child until I consented to the post-birth injection which I'd wanted to delay. I got that delay when I had my second hospital birth, even though they didn't like it they still went with my plan of waiting until after I'd delivered the placenta to give the injection, and it made a world of difference to how my third stage went.

Find out what to do if assholes come to your door, even it's just how to complain afterwards. Staffing is an issue in many areas so it may be an issue to try to get anyone else out, either hospital or home birth, that's a part of the risk, but knowing that can help.

The Birth Place study shows that home birth is just as safe for second babies as going into hospital. So I’d be happy to choose it for a second pregnancy (with no other risk factors) based on the real statistics. I wouldn’t choose it for a first baby.

Interestingly with my hospital birth I felt there was a lot of emphasis on staying at home for as long as possible and I was 7cm by the time they agreed I could come in, having spent a great deal of my labour at home, a 30 min drive from hospital, with zero qualified medical staff or monitoring or anything. Yet this never seems criticised in the same way as women who birthed at home and likely had the full attention and care of 2 experienced professionals well before that point.

@teezletangler

^One had a cord prolapse One started haemorrhaging in her lounge One’s baby got stuck due to the position of his shoulder ^

These are all serious events. But mothers do not die from cord prolapse or shoulder dystocia (babies do, yes) so there is a lot of hyperbole going on here.

Did any of these events happen during the course of a homebirth? That's our point; if these events did not have anything to do with homebirth, then what is the argument? Perhaps at some point your friends were all deemed inappropriate candidates for homebirth despite initially wanting one. That is part of the safety of homebirth- constantly assessing the safety for that particular woman and baby!

They were all deemed safe for home birth Yes they all wanted them but they were all risk assessed as appropriate I’m not against home births after all when you become pregnant and get to the end point it is in fact a possibility if not always a choice

I have had three pregnancies and something with each of my labours could not have been managed at home

Just adding my close friends’ experiences as well as my own viewpoint

Nothing more nothing less

Our bodies are “ designed” to labour and give birth but things can and do go wrong.
This is a fact.
I wish those things hadn’t happened to my friends but they did and they all came out of nowhere

The rules for calling a midwife for a home birth are the same as for a hospital birth in many areas - I know with mine it was drilled into me that due to staffing, I couldn't expect midwives to come out until certain conditions were met. My DD1, my second born, was Born Before Arrival because of that (didn't know I could just not have consistent contractions at all until the pushing phase) and the on-call home birth midwives were actually way farther from my home than the hospital but luckily the paramedics were around the corner.

I don't think it helps to put the ideal of how a home birth should be with 2 fully attentive caring midwives with how it will likely be with services as they are. Home births can be a great choice, and some women do get that ideal, but like with a hospital birth, there are risks that who shows up won't be like that at all. I had that with DD2, thought I'd finally get the attentive midwives because everyone says that's how home births work and got the ones who hung out doing paperwork in the kitchen and could not have been less supportive. Home, birthing centre or hospital, you get lovely and terrible HCPs in all of 'em, sadly the thing we can least control makes a big difference.

I would say the vast majority of home-births result in a positive outcome. I had a planned home-birth with DC2 and it was a very calm and wonderful experience.

In adverse circumstances home-births can be disastrous. As can hospital births. It's been thirteen years since my youngest was born, but there will be available stats that you can have a good look at if you're interested in a home birth.

I’ve never had a baby in a hospital, of my births have been home births. I don’t have anything to compare to.

Ive never seen any mess. I’ve never been rushed to hospital. I’m pretty sure my babies have had issues that might have been dealt with differently in the hospital, but that didn’t matter, because they weren’t in one.

I’m not fanatical, I think everyone should give birth where they feel safe. I accorded myself the same respect I would a birthing cat or dog. I needed privacy and no one looking or touching. That’s OK. Everyone is different. What do you want OP?

My first was in a hospital and I was abandoned hooked up to machines for most of if. I did end up with an emergency episiotomy and ventouse due to babies heart rate dropping but this would never have happened if they hadn't given me an epidural when I was fully dilated and in transition. Most 'greatful I was in hospital' stories stem from unnecessary medical interventions and women left on their own in rooms.

With my two subsequent home water births I had two experiences midwives watching me the whole time. Much safer.

I had two attendant midwives present at my home birth, and they were both there as soon as I was deemed to be in active labour.

I had a home birth with DC3 after DC2 came very quickly and we had a terrifying 80mph drive to hospital.

It was lovely. Very relaxing and I can't remember any mess. I didn't have a water birth - didn't want one.

Out local maternity unit is midwife led which is where I'd had the first two so I was fine with the idea of giving birth in a location where the only pain relief on offer was gas and air. I didn't need it anyway.

I know lots of people who have had home births and don't know any who have had to transfer to hospital.

Be careful with the statistics. As PP have said, home births can be just as safe... reflecting those who planned a home birth. High risk women never get that far so it’s comparing low risk pregnancies.

I can see both sides - if you have low risk normal births then going to a hospital to be poked around sounds awful. But for those of us whose bodies were never meant to bear live children (in my case recurrent preeclampsia with both pregnancies) it seems dangerous to the point of foolhardy. My first DD was yanked out with ventouse and given straight to the paeds. She’s fine now!

One thing it is worth looking at is how common it is to plan a home birth but end up in hospital. More than 40% of first baby planned home births I recall.

Yup, sample of three CleverPolly. Plural of anecdote isn't data.

If we are into the area of anecdote though, I would add to this debate the circumstances of one of my neighbours who had a HB, then started to haemorrhage so was blue lighted into hospital and was ... absolutely fine. Same outcome as if she had been in hospital for the whole thing.

@BoffinMum

Yup, sample of three CleverPolly. Plural of anecdote isn't data.

I wasn’t claiming it functioning as date I was merely sharing what happened dot three women I knew in a period of time with home births that went wrong.

Your username is a bit of a leap if you failed to extrapolate that 😊

@BoffinMum

If we are into the area of anecdote though, I would add to this debate the circumstances of one of my neighbours who had a HB, then started to haemorrhage so was blue lighted into hospital and was ... absolutely fine. Same outcome as if she had been in hospital for the whole thing.

And that’s great. And so what?

It’s no more or less relevant to what I shared.
I’m not irked by it I’m relieved for her

*functioned as DATA
Oops a date would make it even more anecdotal!

I was talked into it for my third. Bought the bloody pool etc. Contractions started, pool filled, midwife showed up. Contractions ground to a halt. Eventually I couldbt really face it any more as there were just contractions every 30 minutes for a few days, popped into hospital for a check, she was born in 15 minutes. There's no rule about where you feel most comfortable...her birth was by far the most wonderful moment, I felt completely safe in the birth centre and clearly didn't feel safe at home!

My eldest is 26. Home birth was sold hard by my SW London teaching hospitals. The mothers were shown a video and told it portrayed the wonderful, comfortable homeliness of it.

The midwife arrived and put down newspaper on the sitting room floor, covered with plastic (looked like a groundsheet) next to a somewhat tatty sofa along side an open plan adjacent kitchen (don't think homes and gardens, more earls court 1950 glorified bedsit). Pizzas were delivered through the battered back door and the midwife and husband shared them. Yum!

To this day I'm not sure if the video was taking the piss and designed to put people off or if that's what the midwives thought was utterly marvellous.

I do think the benefits of it for women in good circumstances is that one's home is cleaner and more comfortable than the average hospital (although the thought of the mess on my pale carpets or bed brought from Heals gave me the shivers). And of course the midwives in attendance are likely to be much more experiences than in hospital. As it happened ds had the cord firmly wrapped round his neck and was posterior. I reckon an experienced midwife would have got me to hospital and secured calm care for me much more quickly than the flaubert gibbet who was in charge of my labour and waited until it was time for all he'll to break loose before the red button was hit. And that only happened because my husband flung open the door of the room, the third time the heart beat disappeared dissatisfied with "oh these belts are faulty" and bellowed "I want a Dr in her right now".

DD2 planned home birth. Utterly amazing experience. No mess, one old towel thrown away, other towels put in a hot wash by midwife and fine to use again. Abigail Cairns book "Home birth, stories to inspire and inform" is a brilliant read if you want positive stories rather than the "my baby would have died if I hadn't been in hospital" which you always get on Mumsnet where there is a massive anti home birth feeling. If you are low risk the research and statistics are with you. Those who birth in hospital rarely acknowledge the iatrogenic risks of hospital birth. Your body, your choice, do what feels right for you, whether that be home or hospital.

Apologies for typos - typing too fast and didn't check auto corrects/spag.

@historytoo I am gobsmacked the midwife put towels on a hot wash. Hot water sets blood stains permanently; blood has to be removed by soaking first in cold water.