Homebirth

[SamLDN]

Looking for home birth stories. Positives/negatives....
I’m thinking about it. The thought of the mess puts me off and also needing to rush to the hospital if anything goes wrong. At the same time would be nice to be at home, especially with all the COVID restrictions etc at the hospital.

Would love to hear your stories to help me decide 😀

I had a homebirth, first baby and I was extremely sceptical about homebirths before.

I had a c-section planned because I had extreme tokophobia and also a haemoglobin disorder that worried me, as they thought I might need a transfusion during birth.

But I had a lovely doula and had a homebirth as a back up in my plan if the baby came before the c-section date.

When labour started 4 days before the c section date, the absolutely last thing I wanted to do was get in a car and go into a public building! It was completely different to how I thought I would feel.

Our boiler broke on the day too (my husband was frantically organising an engineer to fix it while I was in labour and he did managed that - good for having a shower after!) so we didn't have a water pool birth unfortunately.

But it was still great. I had two midwives that were there just for me, no sharing with others on a ward. I didn't have to sit in a car with contractions (ouch ouch ouch!) and I could go into my own bed afterwards!

Midwives, doula and DH cleaned everything. I bought a child's mattress for the floor and that was perfect to give birth on. (Make sure it's not a spring one, nothing too wobbly!).

Most amazing thing I did that I never intended. I'm so disappointed they don't support homebirths at the moment on my booking hospital. Hoping it will change by the time I get there!

Babdoc, fringe cases do not make for good policymaking.

One of my friends gave birth in a top US hospital (you would have heard of it) and they fucked up the entire thing, including having empty oxygen cylinders and the staff running around desperately trying to find a full one. The baby died. That would most likely not have happened in my village with our local midwifery team because there is much better contingency planning and over-engineering of processes to allow for things going wrong. Which is why their safety stats are terrific on home birth.

@Babdoc my first delivery was a bit like yours - it was a fairly prolonged labour, helped along the way with a drip, forceps delivery but fairly unremarkable until they cut the cord and he refused to breathe. I wailed whilst they spent 17 minutes stabilising him and then whisked him away. I didn’t see him for the next 5 hours (and didn’t have any news of him for about 4 of those). Very very traumatic and he would not have survived anywhere else.

But my second was a doddle. In the pool, calm, easy (by comparison).

So if I could guarantee things would go well I would take the home birth hands down. But it’s not predictable.

I have had 2 homebirths and 1 where we transferred to hospital plus 1 hospital planned birth.

Dd1 hospital birth positive good experience. Supportive midwifes who communicated well and helped me and dh in any way possible.

Dd2 planned homebirth amazing experience best experience of my life. A minute after she had been born I looked at dh and said "I want to do that again"

Ds intended homebirth waters kept leaking and after a period of 24 hours I was transferred to hospital. Transfer was done calmly and without much fuss ambulance guys kept apologising to me that policy was they had to take me rather than dh driving me.

Horrendous experience complete with consultant throwing an outright tempertantrum and slamming the door after him when I was not in agreement to speed up the labour (ds was happy enough things were just moving slowly) we now know had we sped it up this would have ended up as a Csection. Ended up with a 11 page complaint from dh and I to hospital and a follow up complaint when they didn't respond within the legal time frame. We discharged ourselves at 5 am in the morning with ds being 3 hours old. He was a vaginal birth with no tearing.

Dd3 planned homebirth I had hired a water pool intending to give birth there. However the midwife got a bit concerned it was moving to slowly so convinced me to get out of the water and dd3 was born in 2 pushes on the floor.

In all homebirths including ds the midwives cleaned up and sorted everything out no mess at all.

Sitting in my chair eating a bacon sandwich after dd2 and 3 wwere born was amazing. Cuddling In our bed with older siblings after with the newborn was wonderful ..I would still love another experience like dd2s birth but I suspect that was my euphoria moment of my life time.

There's not really that much mess. A few inco pads to soak up waters and blood but it's pretty minimal. Mumsnet seems to be anti home birth in general. I've had 3 very lovely home births and 2 fucking hideous hospital births. I'm not doing it again but I'd for a home birth if I was.

I had a dd2 at home in a pool. It was wonderful, drug free and very healing following a traumatic hospital birth with dd1.

Hospital births are not risk free. I was fairly traumatised after my first daughter’s birth. Breastfeeding was hard as I’d lost so much blood and was in a hot noisy post natal ward.

My hone birth team were highly recommended. You have a midwife (a very experienced one) with you at all times.

If you hire a pool it comes with a hose and a pump. You use the pump and hose to get rid of the water into a drain outside. There’s no less problem. My pool also came with a ground sheet and the midwife brings loads of bed mat type pads.

Do your research. There’s lots of published research showing outcomes for home births - from memory I think for your second birth it is statistical safer and leads to better outcomes for mum and baby. But check the research. Make your decision based on that sort of data not random anecdotes of strangers on the internet!

A number of friends (3 I think) had their second babies accidentally at home. Second babies come quick! That played a part in my decision.

Go for it! If you’re low risk, it’ll be fabulous. I had both mine at home with wonderful midwives and they were the best days of my life! So relaxed, in and out of shower and bath - fab. I didn’t see any mess if there was any - midwives did all that super efficiently! Stitches done there and then. There will be lots of people to pile in on this thread throwing up hands in horror, but do your own research, check out local homebirth groups on Facebook etc...talk to people who’ve locally done it, find out about the midwife team. Good luck! It was brilliant for me.

If you are on Facebook there is a very good home births group called Home Birth Support Group UK.
Lots of good stories but also talks about different pathways too and is realistic.

I wouldn't. I had an acute placental abruption during labour with my second. I was about 8cm dilated and had been in labour for 28 hours. I had a completely normal first birth and was very low risk, no risk factors for the abruption whatsoever.

I was in a midwife led unit attached to hospital and I had to have a category 1 C-section where my baby was out within 2 to 3 minutes. That is the only reason she is alive and well. I then was in surgery for hours as the haemorrhaging would not stop , even post delivery , and was very unwell for days afterwards but literally only survived because of our proximity to the operating theatre. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear but in the case of extreme emergencies like acute abruption or cord prolapse you will not have time to get to hospital in an ambulance.

These things are rare , granted, but I'm very fit and healthy and like I say I had zero risk factors and it was my second baby… So if it can happen to me it could happen to anyone. I'm sure it won't happen to you! But it's best to be in the right place… I was in a birthing pool with dim lights and music on until it happened, it was lovely.

Christ no!
With DD3 a blood vessel in the umbilical cord ruptured and there was blood everywhere. All over the midwife, up the walls, over the floor... there was a hell of a mess!

@SamLDN I didn't do this myself as I was busy being stitched up on the sofa but I think we had a net and a bucket to catch anything floating in the water, which then got flushed down the toilet. The rest was pumped down the grate outside with the hose. It didn't take long.

Intrigued by the measurement of the time the ambulance will take to get to the hospital. Will you have a crewed ambulance waiting outside just in case? Better not give birth on a Saturday night when the pub are open...

@BoffinMum

Also if things go wrong you usually have at least 30-60 minutes’ notice. It’s not dramatic and instant like on the telly. If you are within 30-60 minutes of a hospital by ambulance then it’s pretty similar to being on site in the first place in terms of statistical risk, if you’ve got a proper midwife there. They know what they are doing. Of course if you are on a remote island then home birth is probably not the best of ideas.

This is simply not true In labour things can turn in the blink of an eye. Three of my friends who wanted home births all nearly died and lost their babies due to unforeseen things that occurred at some point during what had been up into that point a fairly straightforward labour.

Thankfully they are all here still but it has left them understandably traumatised.

I can only spend for myself but the idea of a home birth terrified me and I never wanted own. As it turned out I was unable to have one with any of them so that was fine by me!

I do know that home birth can be a wonderful experience but for me there is too much that could go wrong and I would want to be in the best place for one or both of us to be minutes away from hopefully being saved not in my living room waiting for an ambulance

*sorry that should read wanted home births and had them until life threatening emergencies unfolded

www.npeu.ox.ac.uk/birthplace/results

That’s the link to the birthplace study which is reassuring reading if planning a home birth and it’s not your first baby

@Cleverpolly3 you're absolutely right, there was absolutely no predicting the very rapidly occurring drama of my birth.
So thankful I was in hospital, as someone mentioned up thread, god forbid if it had been Saturday evening when ambulance crew are over stretched.

Had she been born at home, she would have died.
This line is always brought out on homebirth threads. You don't know what would have happened if she was born at home, because she was not. You may have been transferred in, you may have had different or fewer interventions.

Statistically for a second baby, home birth is just as safe. So logically that means for every adverse outcome at home there are equal proportions of adverse outcomes in hospital.

OP I would advise reading stories of people who actually had home births rather than people who think they know what would have happened if they had one (but they didnt). Also definitely look at some proper research - the birthplace study is a good starting point www.npeu.ox.ac.uk/birthplace

Had she been born at home, she would have died.
If I had agreed to the hospital birth the consultant wanted to force upon me during my transfer my son would have died.

This doesn't often get pointed out. but those stories are out there too. In my case, I am thankful I had the strength to tell the consultant I was not in agreement and did not give my content to what he wanted to do.

Three of my friends who wanted home births all nearly died and lost their babies due to unforeseen things that occurred at some point during what had been up into that point a fairly straightforward labour.

It is statistically impossible that three friends in one friendship group and their babies all "nearly died" in labour. I'm a midwife and in my entire career I have cared for two women who actually nearly died. Did any of these friends actually start labour at home? If they did and ended up with healthy outcomes, then that acutely demonstrates the safety of planned home birth. If they didn't, then they probably ended up not being suitable home birth candidates anyway, and it's a pointless comparison.

OP I think everyone who plans a home birth feels some nervousness beforehand. I had DD2 at home and it was the best experience of my life, but I don't think I 100% sure about my choice until I was in labour (at which point I would have have had the baby in the car if I'd tried to get to hospital!) Statistically I'd told you are low risk it is as safe for your baby and safer for you to be at home. But remember you can always change your mind, even in labour if you're not feeling comfortable. But my planning for it, you're at least giving yourself the option.

Lots of positive stories on here from people who have experienced them personally which has made me even more keen now. I’ll research a bit more as some of you suggested and speak to my midwife but especially with Corona and restrictions etc, it’s sounding like a really good option! Thanks all :)

Three of my friends who wanted home births all nearly died and lost their babies due to unforeseen things that occurred at some point during what had been up into that point a fairly straightforward labour.
Hmm, exaggerating here somewhat I think. Knowing three women who wanted a home birth is pretty unusual in the first place. Knowing three women who nearly died in labour, especially a low risk one, is also very unusual. I find it hard to believe that these two statistically unlikely events overlapped.

@teezletangler

Three of my friends who wanted home births all nearly died and lost their babies due to unforeseen things that occurred at some point during what had been up into that point a fairly straightforward labour.

It is statistically impossible that three friends in one friendship group and their babies all "nearly died" in labour. I'm a midwife and in my entire career I have cared for two women who actually nearly died. Did any of these friends actually start labour at home? If they did and ended up with healthy outcomes, then that acutely demonstrates the safety of planned home birth. If they didn't, then they probably ended up not being suitable home birth candidates anyway, and it's a pointless comparison.

OP I think everyone who plans a home birth feels some nervousness beforehand. I had DD2 at home and it was the best experience of my life, but I don't think I 100% sure about my choice until I was in labour (at which point I would have have had the baby in the car if I'd tried to get to hospital!) Statistically I'd told you are low risk it is as safe for your baby and safer for you to be at home. But remember you can always change your mind, even in labour if you're not feeling comfortable. But my planning for it, you're at least giving yourself the option.

It’s true

One had a cord prolapse
One started haemorrhaging in her lounge
One’s baby got stuck due to the position of his shoulder

All within about eighteen months of each other
Only one of them a guest baby the others were second and second

@ChocOrange1

Three of my friends who wanted home births all nearly died and lost their babies due to unforeseen things that occurred at some point during what had been up into that point a fairly straightforward labour. Hmm, exaggerating here somewhat I think. Knowing three women who wanted a home birth is pretty unusual in the first place. Knowing three women who nearly died in labour, especially a low risk one, is also very unusual. I find it hard to believe that these two statistically unlikely events overlapped.

Why would I exaggerate that? How patronising.

I know five women who’ve had home births. Apart from one they all ended up in hospital only one post delivery

I had two home births. They were amazing and it meant I could have my environment controlled and just how I wanted it. Re the logistics of how the pool was emptied etc I left that to my (now ex) DP. It was his job and he had to think through the logistics . I had done everything else and was very comfortable that despite usually wanting to know the organisational details of everything, that bit was over to him and I didn't get involved in it at all. We had a big plastic sheet on the floor and a home birth pool blown up. I found Sheila Kitzinger's old book the art of childbirth an amazing and empowering inspiration for my home births. As others said the comfort of your own home and things helped me to have a calm and peaceful experience overall.