Homebirth

[SamLDN]

Looking for home birth stories. Positives/negatives....
I’m thinking about it. The thought of the mess puts me off and also needing to rush to the hospital if anything goes wrong. At the same time would be nice to be at home, especially with all the COVID restrictions etc at the hospital.

Would love to hear your stories to help me decide 😀

DC1 came fast so I was advised to have a homebirth with DC2. I said no right away and never discussed it again.

There is absolutely nothing appealing about it to me. People talk about it being so nice to be tucked up in your own bed but personally I was delighted to have all that mess far away from my own home! I was much happier having that first shower in a nice walk-in wet room with blood being washed down someone else's drain rather than at home.

And I like hospitals. I find them comforting and interesting. I have no desire to be separated from any and all the resources I might want or need.

I suppose it depends what sort of birth you have at home.
I had a water birth. My OH and 3 midwives all tidied up after. There wasn't much mess after emptying the pool and we had towels down and those large disposable mats that just went in the bin.
I do have to say, getting into my own shower a short while after giving birth was heaven, as was getting into my own bed after that. It was euphoric for me personally. My bed had never felt more amazing.

I wouldn't write either options off, speak to your local homebirth team- I hadn't even considered it seriously until I spoke to mine about my hesitations.

My homebirth was hands down the best thing I've ever done. It was SO relaxed, I could listen to my body because I wasn't stressing about doctors and what I was allowed to do etc, I just completely got in the zone in the birth pool and afterwards I felt like a warrior goddess - I've never felt a high like it!! I didn't have to clear up, and having hot buttered crumpets followed by a shower in my own bathroom and snuggling up in my own bed afterwards was BLISS! Definitely the best thing about it was not having to go anywhere near the hellhole that is the postnatal ward.

I will caveat all this by saying that it was my second birth, I can't say whether a first birth would have gone so smoothly.

@Thismummyruns @ViolaValentina sounds lovely! This will be my second birth too. The first one I had to be induced and ended up in the hospital for 3 days waiting for my waters to be broken. Once they were my son came so quickly!
I know if I have to be induced again (please no!!) I’ll need to go into the hospital but if not I’m really considering this. I only had gas & air last time which is what I would want again plus I’ve always wanted a water birth.

When you had your water birth at home where did you put the water afterwards? Sorry if that’s a silly question. I’m just imagining a pool swimming with bits and bobs being emptied into my garden like a paddling pool! 😂🙈

I planned a homebirth for number one. It didn't go to plan and we ended up in hospital. This time around I'm not even thinking about to, I'm going to hospital.
I think since it's not your first birth that it would be fine, if it was your first I'd say don't do it!

I’ve had three water births at home. I believe DH pumped the water out into the sink in the downstairs loo, I think. I was tucked up with the newborn drinking tea afterwards. The midwives tell the blokes what to do and get things organised, so you don’t need to worry about the minute details. They do this all the time.

I would also add that there never seemed to be much mess with mine, and it was all very much more efficient and pain free than the hospital birth I’d had with the first. Don’t get into the water pool too early though - that stopped labour for me with no 4 as I was too relaxed!! It only got going again a day later.

I had a home water birth and it was amazing. My second came so quickly I don't think I would have made it to hospital anyway. The mess wasn't too bad (although it was my DH that dealt with it). The pool was drained into the outside drain in the garden. Having a pool means the mess is contained. I put some waterproof covers on my bed in case any stitches were needed but nothing was needed in the end.

I hired a doula purely to look after my 1st child whilst in labour and she also helped with the clean up.

After the birth it was nice to get into my own bed with LO next to me and we both slept so well without all the hospital noise.

Also if things go wrong you usually have at least 30-60 minutes’ notice. It’s not dramatic and instant like on the telly. If you are within 30-60 minutes of a hospital by ambulance then it’s pretty similar to being on site in the first place in terms of statistical risk, if you’ve got a proper midwife there. They know what they are doing. Of course if you are on a remote island then home birth is probably not the best of ideas.

My 3rd was a beautiful home delivery, then the placenta got stuck and I had to go in to have it manually removed. That in iteks wasn't so bad but the three hours being separated from my baby while the staff argued over which actual bed I should be in drove me mad and I complained about being caught up in their ridiculous bed politics. Turns out there had been a velamentous insertion (I had to Google it).

*itself

I had a planned homebirth. There's a book (can't remember the title now) but it tells you lots of positive and negative stories about women's experiences.

Mine progressed quicker than we expected so ds1 was born before the midwives arrived! No pain relief bloody hurt and I tore which they couldn't stitch so I still had to go to the hospital to get that sorted.

But... I didn't have a water birth (didn't want one, found the idea yucky). I simply got old duvets and a couple of shower curtains ready. Curtains on the floor, duvet on top so I had a soft and comfortable floor. I laboured kneeling on the floor and resting upper body on sofa as it was the comfiest position. I did have a birthing ball but used that more in early labour than when contractions really kicked in.

Other than really missing the gas and air, and screaming like a stuck pig as a result, it was lovely just being home, having Dh catch ds and the clean up entailed bagging the soiled duvet and throwing it away. Which I believe the midwives took care of after I had delivered placenta and was being loaded into an ambulance.

Unfortunately pregnancy 3 was twins so I never got to do it again but I would have done in a heart beat.

My home birth was one of the best experiences of my life. Whole labour took a 3.5 hours so it was over quickly but not a panicky rush - had time to fill the pool and get the midwives there. I was so relaxed being in my own environment and felt much more in control. Only needed a bit of gas and air towards the end, knowing that there was no other drugs available to me actually really helped because I knew had to do it on my own so I believed I could of that makes sense, and I felt really strong and powerful. Getting into my own shower then my own bed was amazing after and I could have a glass of champagne which was nice, that first couple of hours snuggled up with my baby while everyone else cleared up, sorted stuff out and left us be was magical - it's always magical of course but it felt SO much cozier and more intimate in my own bed in a little comfy cocoon rather than a big bright hospital with a crappy bed or god forbid that hellish postnatal ward.

The kids were asleep upstairs so their routine wasn't affected and I got 2 midwives all to myself as well as my partner there the whole time. I didn't see any mess as the midwives got rid of it all and the water was pumped out straight down the drain outside. By the time I came down again the following afternoon my living room was back to normal.

I honestly can't recommend it enough, I'd have 10 births if they were all like that.

@BoffinMum

Also if things go wrong you usually have at least 30-60 minutes’ notice. It’s not dramatic and instant like on the telly. If you are within 30-60 minutes of a hospital by ambulance then it’s pretty similar to being on site in the first place in terms of statistical risk, if you’ve got a proper midwife there. They know what they are doing. Of course if you are on a remote island then home birth is probably not the best of ideas.

Not necessarily true. If it goes badly, it can go bad really fast, and seconds matter. I used to assist with neonatal resuscitation, and there is no way I would ever have a home birth.

I had a lovely homebirth water with my 2nd. Water was great and didn't need pain relief, endorphins kicked in. Ended up getting private midwives though and hospital not far away. So nice just to be able get into bed with baba, I stayed there for 5 days. Midwives help tidy and if you have a water birth, don't forget the sieve.

The pool water gets siphoned off into the loo/drain.

I've had 1 home birth and 2 mostly at home labours (which were planned home births but ended up needing to transfer into hospital).

If I could pick then I would have the home birth every time. The other 2 were:
dc1 an emcs due to lack of progress from 7cm - unidentified breech.
Dc3 shoulder dystocia but DC wasn't descending before that even though I was fully dilated and pushing for 3hrs at home- no idea what was happening there still.

If you live reasonably close to the hospital (we are an hour's drive in good traffic - rural) then I would definitely aim for a home birth and put up with a transfer if necessary.

My hospital birth went very dangerously wrong, very quickly and for the that reason I'm glad I didn't go for a home birth (I did seriously consider it)

'Not necessarily true. If it goes badly, it can go bad really fast, and seconds matter. I used to assist with neonatal resuscitation, and there is no way I would ever have a home birth.'

Resuscitation equipment is brought to home births. I was told exactly the same proceedure is followed at home as in hospital. In addition you are likely to have the most experienced midwives doing it at home rather than in an understaffed labour ward.

I just had a home birth and it was amazing, I found it very healing after a long and traumatic first birth in which I had tried for a home birth but ended up in hospital due to unexplained bleeding and labour lasting days, then followed hormone drip, c section and horrific stay on post natal ward. I was very depressed for a long time about how it turned out. This time consultant said they wouldn’t support a home VBAC and also wanted to induce me as I was almost 42 weeks when labour started. I had an independent midwife and managed a textbook birth, 6.5 hrs from first contraction to finish. I laboured leaning on fireplace and kneeling against the couch using a tens machine while listening to hypnobirthing stuff on my headphones. Midwife quietly monitored me and did paperwork and partner got toddler out the door with grandparents and then filled the pool so I just tried to get in the zone and get on with it, no fuss. Things ramped up quickly and I got in the pool just before it was time to push, had gas and air at that point and stayed in for 40 mins in total. The birth felt so primal, I made lots of noise. I caught my daughter myself and partner cut the cord. Baby was calm and alert. I felt strong and powerful, so different from first birth where stuff was done to me and I felt not in control and disconnected from my baby. Afterwards I felt cold and shaky and wanted to get out of the pool quick. Had a cup of tea on the couch which was covered in a shower curtain while waiting for the placenta. It was very messy, lots of bloody towels etc to deal with after but honestly I didn’t care one bit. Had a few stitches for a tear then had a shower and ordered a pizza. Feeling great now a couple of days later, I couldn’t recommend home birth enough, especially if you’re close to a hospital in case you do need to transfer in.

I think the fact you have at least one experienced midwife there by your side at all times, and usually two plus sometimes even a trainee, means the chances of disaster are greatly reduced. You can give birth in the best hospital in the world and if it’s a bad night and staff are spread too thin, disaster can and does happen. Incidentally the last hospital in the world I would use would be a private one as there’s a profit motive in skimping on the experienced staffing and not having much if anything in the way of ICU facilities. But a home birth with a qualified midwife for a healthy woman within reasonable distance of an NHS hospital? Statistically fine. Probably slightly lower risk than hospital in fact (it was last time I looked).

Little fluffy, it probably won’t have gone wrong quickly, I reckon, it will have been observed to have gone wrong quickly. If you’d had two medical professionals glued to your side doing the most minute observations for the whole labour, with skill that came from decades of experience it might have been different. (Forgive me if I am barking up the wrong tree).

I loved having home birth. It's not that messy, nothing that can't go into a bag then into dustbin.

It is really lovely having a baby at home, you can do it how you like.

If there is a problem you'll be whisked to hospital in no time but why think of possible problems in advance?

You will be fine, go for it.

1. Midwives at a home birth do not carry the standard shock pack of six units of O negative blood available in all hospital labour suites for massive intrapartum haemorrhage. You could bleed out your entire circulating volume en route to hospital.
2. Midwives cannot even perform a simple forceps lift out delivery for severe fetal distress, let alone a Caesarian section.
3. Finally, midwives can only do basic resuscitation of newborns. They are a far cry from the skilled paediatric crash team who had to give my newborn baby intracardiac adrenaline, intubate her, and inject three different anticonvulsant drugs which midwives do not even carry, before transferring her in a transport ventilator to the NICU from labour suite.
   I should add, DD was my second child - a normal 8lb full term delivery, and none of what happened was predictable. Had she been born at home, she would have died.

WRT tricky births, DS2 was 9 lbs, compound presentation, and came out in the Superman position. That was a long and quite tiring second stage but I was much better off at home in a water pool with the three (!) midwives that had turned up, than struggling on a bed in hospital. In extremis I am 5-10 minutes away from a teaching hospital by ambulance so that was reassuring at the time, although the midwives knew what they were doing and were very calm.

I considered it with my DC but have several doctor friends who told me they would never, ever consider home births. Being comfy and relaxed at home wasn't worth the risk posed to my baby, however small.