I’ve been petrified beyond belief of giving birth my whole life, to the point that I wasn’t going to have kids. Last year I found the birth rights website, looked up my local hospital and realised I would most likely be able to get a c-section due to this. To me there is no other alternative, I can’t and won’t do it any other way. From the second I found out I was pregnant it has been all I’ve thought about since. At my booking appointment at 6 weeks (on the phone) I told my midwife about my severe anxiety about birth and how I just could not practically see a way of me doing it any other way. She said we would wait til I was further on and she would refer me, it would all be fine, risks would be explained etc but ultimately I could get a section. The next time I got to speak to her was 16 weeks (by this point it was really worrying me) and I said the same again. This time she said at 22 weeks she’d refer me. My 22 week appointment has been and it was with a different midwife. I was really anxious having to explain all this to someone new but I told her everything and she could see how worried it was making me. She said she’d sort it, discuss it with my midwife and get a consultant appointment arranged.
I’m now 23 weeks but had a dream about it last night, woke up early and haven’t stopped thinking about it since. It really is affecting my every day life now because it’s literally all I do.. either worrying about, reading articles or watching YouTube videos from people who have had one. I would feel so much better if someone could just tell me what’s happening or if I even knew a date as to when I’ll get to tell a consultant all of this. My next appointment isn’t til 28 weeks and I feel like by then I’ll be panicking 🤦🏼♀️ Sounds ridiculous to some people but it is my biggest fear in life. Anyone in my position, when did you have someone tell you you could definitely have one? X