Handhold - c section booked tomorrow, feeling very anxious

[YellowStar88]

I’ve NC for this. I just want a handhold and to hear positive elective c section experiences.

I’m due to have a c section tomorrow, this is my second baby. My first was a traumatic vaginal birth (I was induced) which included a PPH, pre eclampsia, sepsis, 2nd degree tear, episiotomy, retained placenta, blood transfusion and my kidneys were failing. She was born with forceps, I don’t remember a lot of the birth, just certain parts but I did have private counselling which massively helped. This was almost 2 years ago now.

It took a while for me to fall pregnant the first time, so although we did agree to try again - I was shocked how quickly I fell pregnant this time considering it took nearly a year with DD. I told DP I’d like to have elective section this time, my consultant was also in agreement with me. I don’t want anymore children after this as I’ve suffered with HG throughout both pregnancies.

Anyway, I had my pre op assessment recently and it was mentioned about my cervix being checked following delivery of baby. She also mentioned the number of the people in the room which has now made me really anxious. I struggled getting a smear test last year as I was so tense down there the nurse couldn’t insert the clamp, so I never even managed to get tested. My legs were shaking and ultimately that’s what made me realise I needed counselling. I’m terrified of them checking down there, my legs being in stirrups again and all the people in the room. I feel stupid for not thinking of this beforehand but I naively thought as I’m having a c section, they wouldn’t need to look down there. It makes total sense but it just didn’t cross my mind.

What was your experience like? I appreciate it’s going to be a much calmer environment than what I had first time but I just can’t shake these feelings off. I just keep crying and I know I’m going to be a nervous wreck tomorrow.

I would consider paying £7 and downloading this relaxation for cesarean birth and listening to it between now and tomorrow. www.kghypnobirthing.com/your-baby-s-caesarean-birth-cd-mp3.html

Will your partner be in the operating theatre with you?

Practice calming breaths, slowly in through your nose and a longer out breath through a slightly open mouth. Imagine a place that you feel calm, picture the details, then imagine you, your baby, you older child and your husband walking together in this safe place, with the sun shining and you all smiling and happy.

Don’t feel stupid, it’s normal to feel anxious. I felt extremely anxious the night before my third elective c section.

Make sure you tell the midwife who admits you how you are feeling and they might be able to give extra kind support / the anaesthetist might give you an sedative etc. The anxiety is very normal and they should be able to help you.

You will feel in control and it will be much better than your previous birth experience.

By the time you are in theatre and there are people around you will be on medication and more relaxed. And you can’t really see them anyway. The people are there to ensure you and your baby are well looked after. It’s a good thing. You will receive the best care.

I actually don’t even remember anyone looking ‘down there’ (I pretended it never happened!). I think I was numb and on strong medication each time. And there is a sheet/screen so you don’t see the operation. The anaesthetist will sit by your head and will chat away to distract you. The anticipation is actually quite exciting.

The baby actually comes out so much faster than you think. They tell you what they are doing while they do it do you know what is going on - but you can’t see or feel anything.

You’ll have a lot support and you’ll feel well looked after.

One thing I wasn’t prepared for was that I was moved /shaken around a bit when they pulled the baby out. But I think this is normal (it happened to me each time).

The sewing up / recovery takes much longer than the delivery, but by then you are high as a kite on pain medication and your baby is delivered and you will be so happy and relieved.

Enjoy the experience, honestly it will be amazing in comparison. The feeling of being in control and the amount of care you will receive will make it different from the first time.

Good luck and please post back an update !

I’d definitely take @ChateauMargaux’s advice. That would have helped me - I had panic attacks the days before my third CS. It was awful and I felt sick with worry - for no rational reason.

But it all turned out very well once again

Oh bless you, you poor thing! I was utterly terrified before mine, but let them know and they were so kind to me. Nothing happened without my say so, the anaesthetist checked as many times as I needed that I was definitely numb (it was a massive fear) and she reassured me that no matter what happened she had a solution for it.

There were stacks of people in the room with me - I had a team, and each of my twins had a team. There were also student midwives in as well. I had a curtain up so I couldn’t see anything, and I didn’t even know I’d had a smear test until I saw my notes months later!

I also had no idea my legs were in stirrups until reading this thread 😳

My overall experience was absolutely wonderful. It was calm and controlled, and I felt safe despite being so vulnerable. Things did get hairy with dt2, but another team came racing in and she was ultimately fine.

I’m not likely to have anymore kids, but if I did I would absolutely go for another section.

Good luck for tomorrow!

Oh OP bless you these are all valid feelings! I had a traumatic time with my first (forceps/shoulder dystocia/PPH/sepsis and baby ended up in SCBU after needing resus and facial nerve damage from forceps.) I had an elective section with my second for this reason and was extremely nervous but it was honestly a great calm and quite healing experience! Definitely discuss with the consultant and midwife when you get admitted (I had the same midwife with me throughout who was amazing and the consultant came to have a chat beforehand). The anaesthatist will also come and see you and you could enquire about some light sedation. I had my spinal put in and lay back on the bed and nobody had gone near my bits at this point. They catheterised me after my spinal so I didn’t feel a thing and the anaesthetist was up by head and my other half chatting away Distracting me. There were a few people in theatre but remember they are there doing their job keeping you and baby safe (I have been a theatre nurse in a past life believe me we are too busy with tasks and always keep everything dignified during a procedure.) Baby was out quite quickly and we had immediate skin to skin and I was so busy cooing over baby with OH I didn’t even think about being stitched up (this took about half an hour). I was then wheeled into a recovery area on the bed and my lovely midwife stayed with me and OH while I fed baby had some tea and toast and she helped dad dress baby etc. It was so calm and everyone was very sympathetic to my previous experience, extremely kind and incredibly professional. Good luck with your lovely new bundle and let us know how it goes

I had one a few months ago and it was a lovely experience. I was very anxious about it due to a recent sexual assault, so talked through my fears regarding the number of people and things happening to my body I wasn't aware of with the specialist midwife working with us. She made sure all the people in the room were aware of my history and they all came up and introduced themselves one at a time. They were all friendly and polite and respectful.

The midwife I trusted inserted my catheter and made sure only the minimum number of people were down that end during that time. I also asked that they talked me through everything that was happening.

We also had our own playlist playing which helped me to feel relaxed. It was a lovely positive experience, the best I could have asked for in the circumstances we were in.

You won’t feel the VE because of the spinal (you’ll probably know they’ve moved your legs to do it, but it won’t be painful). You won’t be in stirrups.

The people in the room are there to look after you safely - there are quite a few, but it won’t be any more than are necessary. By the time they get to the VE bit most of the team will be clearing up and doing other jobs in theatre - they won’t just be hanging about to watch.

Contrary to what pp suggested, the anaesthetist is vanishingly unlikely to give a sedative for this (again for safety reasons).

Hope it all goes smoothly.
(DOI: anaesthetist)

I had a preterm section for vasa previa so quite a pressure on the surgeon to get the baby out before he lost too much blood. It was nevertheless incredibly calm and a positive experience (baby was fine).

I've just had my second EMCS. The operation itself is over quite quickly and all the medical staff were great at making me feel relaxed and distracting me with conversation. I didn't have any pain after, I was offered additional pain relief a few times but didn't need it. For me the worst bit was the fear of it beforehand rather than the operation itself.

I had an elective section just over 3 weeks ago and it was a really lovely experience!! There were lots of people in the room but they all explained their role and kept me so calm, it was over really quickly and I honestly couldn't have hoped for it to be better x

@YellowStar88 I struggle with smear tests and examinations etc. due to a condition called vaginismus. I haven’t had a c section but with my previous birth I had an epidural and I literally had no idea what was going on down there - it was great. Normally I’d be a mess but I had exams, ventouse, stitches all without feeling any of it and because I didn’t feel it my body didn’t tense up and I didnt feel any stress or upset like I anticipated I would (it was a different story pre-epidural). I imagine it would be much the same with the anaesthetic they give you for a c section. Just focus on your breathing and your baby, and perhaps ask your partner to distract you so that you’re not focusing on what’s going on down there! Deep breaths - you’ve got this

It is scary waiting for it but to the nurses and doctors it's a completely routine operation - they do quite a few every day. I've had 2 of them. The first was an emergency and everything happened so fast, too fast to understand much of what was going on. So with my second, planned, c section it was scarier. BUT the nurses, doctors and anaesthetist put me at ease and talked about everything they were going to do. It was really nice knowing what day I was having my baby. Try not to worry

Hi OP.

I had a traumatic first birth. I had my second child three weeks ago by c-section. I was terrified beforehand but I needn’t have been.

The medical team all introduced themselves first thing and explained everything that would happen. They listened to my concerns and answered my questions.

There was no pain at all for any part of the procedure. There was just a strange pulling sensation as they delivered the baby. All over very quickly.
They were constantly chatting to me and DH throughout. All very calm and relaxed. It was hugely different to my first birth. I was looked after so well.
The fear and anxiety beforehand was worse than anything. If I have another baby, I’ll have a c section again without hesitation.

Thank you for the messages and reassurance everyone, I appreciate you telling me your experiences. I will also give an update once it's all over.

I will have my DP with me, he's been great support thankfully. I didn't mean I felt stupid for feeling anxious about the c section, I don't think I worded that well. I meant I felt stupid for not thinking about the number of people in the room and the VE. I did have the epidural last time but given the other issues going off I was really out of it last time.

How did you get on with looking after baby after the c section? Were the midwives/HCA helpful in passing baby to you? I was bed ridden for 2 days last time hooked up to a catheter, however had DP with me the whole time I was in hospital. I remember how busy the midwifes were then, so can only imagine how busy it will be now given that partners can't stay the whole time?

My elective c section was a lovely calm experience; the doctor, midwife and anaesthetist came to meet me before hand and when I went into the room everyone there introduced themselves and there was some nice chitchat when I was having the spinal block etc and by the time they uncovered my bottom half there was a screen up and I was numb so I didn’t even think about the fact that anyone could see me naked from the waist down. It was only afterwards that I really thought about it.
My first birth was very traumatic but I found my elective section very healing and that moment when they lifted my baby up is a memory I treasure.
I had DS just before lockdown as DH could visit but due to visiting times on the ward he had to leave once I moved from recovery to the ward (about 8pm after I’d had DS at 3pm) and I found I could do everything for DS apart from getting him safely back into his crib, I could get him out just not back in so I only needed to ask for help with that and I made sure I had all the nappy changing stuff and snacks and drinks close to hand.
I had my catheter out by 6am the next morning (they came to do it at 3am but I was asleep) and I could move slowly to get to the toilet etc. I probably could have left after one night and if I’d had DS earlier in the day I would have left after one night for definite.
Also for the journey home I’d recommend a rolled up baby blanket between your tummy and the seat belt to make it more comfortable

I've had an EMCS before and am having a booked CS for a breech baby this Friday. Noone ever mentioned a vaginal exam during my EMCS or during the pre-op discussion for this one. I'm absolutely not aware of it being standard?! I am now going to expressly ask about it and get on record that I do not consent to this, so thank you OP for making me aware of it. Hope your CS has gone well.

Or good luck rather, as it must be today

I was very nervous the night before but my lovely midwife held my hand and reassured me right up to the actual operation . The surgeon said we will have this baby out in 5 minutes and it was . We were so focused on baby I don’t even remember what happened after . My cousin is a theatre sister and says Caesarians are the best operations as you don’t throw away what you take out! Good luck OP . You will soon be holding your baby .

@ellenpartridge

I assumed it was standard when she was telling me in the pre op? Could be worth double checking? I'm glad you are aware though as I cant imagine not knowing or only finding out on the day.

I'm first on this list this morning, so just waiting on the ward at the moment. Thanks again for the kind words.

@ OP, you’re right, it is a standard bit of the operation. The vaginal bit isn’t an opportunistic nosy around just because they’re down there - it is an important part of the operation to make sure there isn’t a load of blood/ongoing bleeding. It’s a swab and a quick look (same position as for putting the catheter in), not a legs up in stirrups exam.

Hope it goes well/went well this morning.

I had an EMCS and was nervous going in to theatre because I'd never even been in hospital before (luckily). They were really nice and the whole experience was fine. I imagine a hell of a lot nicer than what you have described for your first birth. They explained everything in advance so I wasn't shocked when it happened (eg low blood pressure can make you shiver etc). The staff were all really calm and relaxed, chatting about films etc and the radio was on playing Xmas songs, which all helped me remain calm because everyone else was. I was really happy with my c section experience and hope you will be too x

@YellowStar88 good luck! I hope it has gone well!

Hi everyone

I just wanted to thank you all for the messages yesterday - it really helped put my mind at ease. Although I was upset going down this morning, I really think it's been the final piece in me healing. The staff were great and so understanding. They did not rush and explained everything to me so well. They explained the VE and as I couldn't see anything due to the screen and had baby with me anyway - it was fine.

I will also cherish that moment they lifted DD over the curtain. I'm hoping to be discharged tomorrow as no problems have cropped up, I feel okay in myself and I've just got the catheter out - so hoping to be moving soon.

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter OP!

So nice to read the words ',healing ' and 'cherish' in your post. Much love.. Deirdre