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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

I'm extremely upset by my postnatal vagina

49 replies

homecookedcurry · 24/02/2021 16:28

Hi everyone,

I had my son in August last year, so about 7 months ago.

I had a hugely traumatic birth with forceps delivery and 2.1 litres blood loss.

I'm on the waiting listing for corrective surgery at the hospital I gave birth at because I didn't heal correctly ( or they didn't stitch me up correctly)

The doctor who will do the surgery wrote in his report: "On examination, she has a bridge of tissue over the fourchette with an opening below which is an area of granulation tissue which bled on taking swabs".

Today I called the hospital to chase up my surgery appointment. I was supposed to have the surgery from mid to end of January.

They told me that all routine procedures have been cancelled due to Covid and that they are only doing emergency procedures at the moment. They said I was still on the waiting list and that they will start contacting people and start booking them in once they do routine procedures again.

I then decided to have a look at my vagina. I haven't looked at it since I gave birth, because it was too emotionally distressing for me ( I know that sounds weird, but I was really scared of looking at it).

I was so shocked when I saw it. I literally have a hole underneath my vagina, between my vagina and my anus.

It looks like I have two vaginas.

I think it is a proper hole, I stuck my finger through it and it came out at the other end inside my vagina.

I burst into tears and was crying for about an hour after I saw that.

It looks really wrong.

My partner and I resumed sex and intimacy about 2 months ago and every time he enters my vagina it hurts like hell.

I don't know if it's the hospital's fault or if I just healed badly, but one of the consultants that I saw, and she's an expert on her field, said: "It looks like they stitched you up really badly"

I try to be understanding in regards to the Covid situation, but my hospital is a women's hospital and doesn't have any corona patients. I understand that they probably have to minimize their risk and do fewer surgeries, but isn't my case sort of an emergency and they should prioritize it especially if the stitches were done badly?

I just don't understand how much longer I can live like this and they couldn't even give me an estimation of how long the waiting time for surgery will be.

I don't even know why I'm writing this here, I suppose I'm looking for an outlet and some support and a handhold as I feel so sad about the entire situation, I had a shit day and was crying a lot today.

OP posts:

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 25/02/2021 12:38

It isn't that uncommon for tears to be missed or turn out to be more complex than they first appeared. Someone really should have had a proper look to find out why you kept getting infections and had pain.

I'm sorry you have had to put up with this. Good for you for getting it sorted.

BabycakesMatlala · 25/02/2021 13:23

@homecookedcurry you absolute star - well done for pushing 👏👏👏 I had a tear that didn't heal right and had mismatch and granulation (not as bad as yours), and had a Fenton's repair procedure under general to sort it all out. Just to reassure that they can get good results. Seriously, well done - women are so dismissed by many (not all) medics, and it takes huge guts to advocate for yourself when you're feeling miserable and in pain anyway. Very best of luck for the op

Original poster

homecookedcurry · 25/02/2021 13:36

@UnCoffreDor

Thank you.

I'm thinking about doing a post-birth debrief because I think it would help me mentally as well.

OP posts:

Original poster

homecookedcurry · 25/02/2021 13:38

@BabycakesMatlala @ChateauMargaux

Thank you for your kind words

OP posts:

hollyannfra2020 · 04/03/2021 21:53

Although your expirence sounds much worse when I look back I wish I had made a complaint or at least a comment about how I was spoken to after birth. I was leg up while she stitched me, looked up said I have done what I can but is very swollen so I can't really see - it sat with me for weeks x

Coffeeandcocopops · 04/03/2021 22:16

Well done OP and good luck. It really should not have been the case that you had to make a complaint. If a patient’s arm was stitched up incorrectly it would be dealt with immediately. It isn’t cosmetic if sex is painful. Men just wouldn’t put up with having painful sex for months.

IdblowJonSnow · 04/03/2021 22:26

Well done OP. I'm so pleased you'll be seen soon. I would see if you can at least claim the money back that you've had to spend, if not more.
Of course this isn't cosmetic.

Giving birth is a risky business. Many women are made to be feel guilty if they want to choose a c-section which is do wrong in my view.
Hope you get sorted soon.

kneecapper · 04/03/2021 22:34

@hollyannfra2020

this is...totally normal

. Some people have very swollen tissue after a vaginal birth and it’s impossible to know what the result of the repair will be like until the swelling subsides. So the doctor or midwife just has to make an educated guess (for want of a better term) at what goes where. What would you be complaining about?!

hollyannfra2020 · 04/03/2021 23:10

Luckily I healed resoanable quickly and without too much complication. But I didn't receive an education on anything other than poor bedside manner. Who needs to hear how they gave it their best shot but its abit wonky down there while holding their newborn??

inchplant · 04/03/2021 23:13

@hollyannfra2020

would you rather she had lied? genuinely, I’m not sure what you wanted her to so differently?

hollyannfra2020 · 04/03/2021 23:27

I think there is a certain degree of reading the room that could have occurred. It was said and she left the room, it was part of some aftercare advice etc. It was my first baby and I had no idea what the reality of a post birth body would be. When it was said I honestly had no idea if it was some sort of general note or because I was really 'messed' up down below.

hollyannfra2020 · 04/03/2021 23:28

*Not part rather

stevalnamechanger · 04/03/2021 23:33

I would file a negligence claim and also make formal complaints . This should not have happened to you .

💕sending love and hoping you get booked in soon

inchplant · 04/03/2021 23:35

@stevalnamechanger

I would file a negligence claim and also make formal complaints . This should not have happened to you .

💕sending love and hoping you get booked in soon

this isn’t America where you can ‘file a claim’ for anything and everything

grassisjeweled · 08/03/2021 01:49

Good news, curry.

vjg13 · 14/03/2021 18:45

Did you have your surgery?

ElderMillennial · 14/03/2021 18:50

That sounds very distressing OP.

I think there are two issues - whether the hospital were negligent for not stitching your properly and whether the procedure is urgent. They are two different things but they may well be more inclined to book you in sooner if they know there is a potential claim.

Lunaflavia · 15/03/2021 13:17

Hi there,

My vagina did not heal well either, and did an operation 3 months ago, and still very sore. I don't even know what I should do anymore.

ChiefBabySniffer · 15/03/2021 13:36

Hope your surgery went ahead OP

Original poster

homecookedcurry · 16/03/2021 20:53

@vjg13 @ChiefBabySniffer

Yes, I had my surgery last Friday and it went really well ( at least from what I can tell so far - I can only see the "end product" once the swelling has subsided and I still have stitches)

I had to be in the hospital at 7:30 am, scheduled for a general anaesthetic. The surgeon examined me before the surgery and decided it could be done under local anesthetic. I was the first patient to have my surgery and the surgery literally only lasted 5-10 minutes, it was fantastic. It was a bit embarrassing having my legs up with so many different people in the room in the cold theatre, but hey what can you do.

The most painful thing about the surgery was having injections in my vaginal tissue to numb the area. I was screaming in pain, but there was a lady patting my head hehe.

I was back home by 2 pm and felt a bit sore over the last few days, but not proper pain - I didn't need any paracetamol or other pain relief. Now the soreness is completely gone.

The nurse told me that we can't have sex for the next four weeks - that's probably the hardest thing. :D I was keen to try out my "renewed equipment" - after 7 months it must feel awesome to feel normal down there again.

OP posts:

Original poster

homecookedcurry · 16/03/2021 20:57

The hospital is also currently investigating what went wrong in how they handled my injury, so I think they are taking it seriously.

The end goal that I wanted to achieve by writing that email was actually just to have the surgery and call it a day. I'm not too keen on the formal investigation as the hospital will just find it's not their fault and they did everything correctly, so it's a bit of a waste of time in my opinion, but I just have to play along.

OP posts:

vjg13 · 17/03/2021 11:19

That's great news for you, a very positive end to your nightmare.

KarmaKarmaKarma · 11/04/2021 16:01

Hi OP, I know you haven’t posted on here for a few weeks but I had a similar-ish experience. Midwife incorrectly diagnosed a 2nd degree tear. Haematoma formed behind the stitches so I had to be unstitched and restitched in theatre, and the haematoma had to be evacuated in theatre. It turned out to be a complex third degree tear. After 6 weeks I was experiencing a number of symptoms - had a look down there and could see what looked like a small hole on my perineum. I fought to be seen by the gynaecology department at my local hospital. When they examined me they confirmed I had a perineal fistula - a hole running from the outside of the perineum to the inside of the vagina.

I had corrective surgery under general at around 12 weeks PP and all healed well. It took me a bit longer than four weeks after the surgery to feel normal again but the improvement after having the surgery was remarkable. They have told me I will need a section if I get pregnant again, though.

Hope you’ve recovered well!

Collygirl · 11/05/2021 09:17

I had my baby 9 months ago. I don’t feel right at all. The doctors said they can’t see anything but it’s making my life a misery! I feel something is wrong. I had a forceps delivery & shoulder dystocia. I’ve asked to see someone now but the waiting list is so long!

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