I'm extremely upset by my postnatal vagina

[homecookedcurry]

Hi everyone,

I had my son in August last year, so about 7 months ago.

I had a hugely traumatic birth with forceps delivery and 2.1 litres blood loss.

I'm on the waiting listing for corrective surgery at the hospital I gave birth at because I didn't heal correctly ( or they didn't stitch me up correctly)

The doctor who will do the surgery wrote in his report: "On examination, she has a bridge of tissue over the fourchette with an opening below which is an area of granulation tissue which bled on taking swabs".

Today I called the hospital to chase up my surgery appointment. I was supposed to have the surgery from mid to end of January.

They told me that all routine procedures have been cancelled due to Covid and that they are only doing emergency procedures at the moment. They said I was still on the waiting list and that they will start contacting people and start booking them in once they do routine procedures again.

I then decided to have a look at my vagina. I haven't looked at it since I gave birth, because it was too emotionally distressing for me ( I know that sounds weird, but I was really scared of looking at it).

I was so shocked when I saw it. I literally have a hole underneath my vagina, between my vagina and my anus.

It looks like I have two vaginas.

I think it is a proper hole, I stuck my finger through it and it came out at the other end inside my vagina.

I burst into tears and was crying for about an hour after I saw that.

It looks really wrong.

My partner and I resumed sex and intimacy about 2 months ago and every time he enters my vagina it hurts like hell.

I don't know if it's the hospital's fault or if I just healed badly, but one of the consultants that I saw, and she's an expert on her field, said: "It looks like they stitched you up really badly"

I try to be understanding in regards to the Covid situation, but my hospital is a women's hospital and doesn't have any corona patients. I understand that they probably have to minimize their risk and do fewer surgeries, but isn't my case sort of an emergency and they should prioritize it especially if the stitches were done badly?

I just don't understand how much longer I can live like this and they couldn't even give me an estimation of how long the waiting time for surgery will be.

I don't even know why I'm writing this here, I suppose I'm looking for an outlet and some support and a handhold as I feel so sad about the entire situation, I had a shit day and was crying a lot today.

Op I am so so sorry. I'd be writing a letter of formal complaint, especially if the specialist had said they look like they haven't done a good job.
I am the last person to kick up a fuss but from what I read, it seems women are just sort of stitched up willy nilly and left to deal with the consequences. Lots of my friends had traumatic births that led to them having terrible prolapse and tearing etc. Would this be the case if men gave birth? I HIGHLY doubt it. They wouldn't let this sort of thing happen.
Push for the complaint OP, you had a baby yes, but you didn't deserve to be torn open like that and stitched up without proper care.
This is exactly why I had a c section. I'm sorry you had to deal with this. Good luck OP.

@londonmummy1234

Thank you for your message. I will be writing a formal complaint, I just worry that I won't be taken seriously and they will lie and say it wasn't their fault and that I just healed badly.

I think it was very wise of you to have a c-section. I had an ECV done because my baby was breech and it was successful. I did it because I thought vaginal birth is better than a c-section. In hindsight, I could slap myself for that and I'm so angry at myself for not doing the c-section.

If I had had a c-section, I wouldn't be in this situation now. :(((

Have written an email to PALS now to complain.

I'm not expecting them to help or act in my favour, but at least I can say I tried.

You should 100% complain. Covid isn’t an excuse and it doesn’t sound like you are healing properly. Don’t feel bad , kick up a fuss. Women shouldn’t be expected to just suffer this stuff in silence or stoically putting up with pain. And I know exactly what you meant when you said you didn’t want to look

@sashagabadon

Thank you for your kind message. It's horrible what we women have to go through. If men had a hole between their penis and back passage it would be a different story.

So sorry you are having to go through this x

@homecookedcurry firstly, don't be so hard on yourself. Having a c section comes with its own risks, some women have lasting impacts because of it, and swear to themselves they'll have a vaginal birth next time. Like the consultant said, it looks they haven't done the job right, the 'she didn't heal properly' argument a bit dubious, as if they'd stitched you up correctly, and not left out any areas, the hole wouldn't be there? Secondly, do go ahead with the complaint. Thirdly, perhaps look into filing a negligence claim? It's clearly caused you a lot of lasting distress, both physically and emotionally. Also, was there not any follow up checks on the stitches? Could this not have been picked up on earlier?

This is terrible! I also feel the same way, I had my baby 9 months ago and things don't feel right. I know its TMI, but I feel like some of my vagina is too far out, and is protruding from my vulva. I have no idea if this is normal.

My doctor says its fine but won't let me in to be examined. I'm thinking I should try and find a private billing gynae to do it who will actually see me because they have a commercial incentive to do so.

This covid situation has been absolutely terrible for new mums. Have not had my DD weighed ever.

@UnCoffreDor

Thank you. I was in the hospital for 5 days and several midwives/nurses looked at my stitches and didn't notice anything.

When I started bleeding from that area around 7 weeks postpartum, I called the hospital and they said I couldn't come in as I was over 6 weeks postpartum.

I went to my GP and he said I was healing nicely. I was bleeding profusely one weekend so I went to the A&E. The gynecologist didn't even look at me or see me. It was a general nurse who had a look down there and she said it all looks normal.

I kept on bleeding intermittently, so l saw two private consultants. The first one only said I had granulation tissue, the second one ( who coincidentally also works for the NHS in the hospital I gave birth at) was excellent and said I basically had "a second vaginal tunnel" and "it looks like they stitched you up really badly".

I had to spend about 500 £ to be diagnosed.

@balihai550

I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I would definitely get this checked out as this could potentially be a prolapse?

It's terrible what we have to go through.
To me, it feels like I've been in a severe car crash and I lie by the roadside and everyone just keeps on driving by.

Oh, OP, this is awful. I had a similar experience, third degree tear, left with a tunnel. I had a repair operation on the NHS that fixed it, but I remember clearly the horror when I saw it for the first time.

@NoWayHosier

I'm sorry that you went through this. How long did you have to wait for the operation?

I was diagnosed with a 2nd degree tear, but I still have this awful hole between vagina and back passage.

Mine was a different scenario. When I was pregnant I had a cyst that needed removing, and I was booked in for surgery a few months after the birth. The night before the surgery I decided to have a look to see how the tear had healed, which is when I found the tunnel.

In what way is it an emergency? It sounds cosmetic

It's disgusting that women are left in this situation. I can't imagine any scenario when a man would be allowed to leave hospital with his knob hanging off. It's not just about sex, surely it affects daily life - periods, peeing and so on? It shouldn't just normalised that women are expected to be physically disfigured by pregnancy and birth to the extent it affects basic bodily functions. It certainly isn't "just cosmetic".

@ridingonaroomba dude, I don't know if you meant it to sound so heartless, but it does. Besdies, I can't see where op has said it's an emergency?

Op, Oh you poor love. There's a great, long running thread on here, but I can't remember what it's called. Prolapses, rectoceles (sp?) and something? Lots of women there with similar experiences that may be able to help.

Birth injuries just aren't talked about either. I hope you get it sorted soon.

I guess some of the staff from the hospital will have been redeployed to other hospitals. Certainly the case locally.

I’ve been waiting for surgery for 18 months for a broken leg and it’s been cancelled 3 times. I’m really struggling to walk some days and they know that. However it’s just been booked for next month. Covid rates are dropping so hopefully routine surgeries are getting back on track and hopefully you will be done soon. But yes, there’s a lot of people waiting for stuff to be done. I know someone who needed a later repair after similar and she was fine after the second procedure. Sounds like you have a good person now to do it properly.

And it’s really bad you’ve had to pay £500 to be diagnosed. To me, I’d be more annoyed about the lack of support and competence in getting the issue diagnosed than the fact it occurred in the first place.

@ridingonaroomba

In what way is it an emergency? It sounds cosmetic

🤨 this isn’t a facelift we are talking about. The OP has suffered from injuries and has not received proper treatment to repair the damage. It’s causing her severe distress and pain!

@homecookedcurry I really feel for you. It's awful that you've not been listened to. I can't bear to look either for similar reasons so I understand what you mean. My first dc arrived 5 months ago and I also had forceps. I tore badly and had a third degree tear. I was given antibiotics but they didn't work effectively and my tear was still open on day 10 of my midwife signing off appointment. I was put back onto a second course of antibiotics and admittedly that did help. Intimacy is also painful at the moment.

I would contact PALS again and ask to have some physio. I'm suggesting this because I was told that I would have it due to my tear and it's reassured me that someone has checked me out. The physio checked my pelvic floors and how I was healing (I have a second appointment booked and hopefully it won't be cancelled due to the lockdown). She referred me for some counselling sessions to discuss the birth. I don't know if this is something you'd fine helpful or not but personally I've found it helpful. She is specifically there for supporting post-natal issues and I'm sure a physio would also be able to push along the surgery you need.

I struggled with how I gave birth to my dd and felt I wanted to discuss how the consultants and doctors treated me in the OR during the forceps so I've also had a birth reflection service. It was with the consultant midwife and we talked through my labour and she clarified the questions I had, heard my complaint and has assured me that she will speak to the appropriate staff about my feedback.

It makes me so sad that you are going through this and I want you to know you're not alone. I think more women should talk about their experiences so that concerns like yours are acted upon more quickly. I hope some of my experience and suggestions might help you to get more help and support.

Oh my goodness @homecookedcurry this is horrendous - I'm so upset and angry for you. I'm glad you've submitted a complaint to PALS - I hope they treat it seriously and help you.

It makes me so sad that women are repeatedly let down when it comes to childbirth injuries.

Good news, the hospital's complaint manager called me. She said she spoke to the admissions team and they have now booked me in for surgery on March 12th. They will also open a formal investigation at the hospital in regards to my complaint.

They probably realized that it's not "a cosmetic procedure". How ridiculous to suggest that fixing a gaping hole underneath your vagina that causes you pain and recurrent vaginal infections is cosmetic. But there's always one on Mumsnet.

Thanks, everyone for your kind and encouraging words.

@liquoricecravings

I'm so sorry to hear that. A 3rd-degree tear is absolutely awful. I hope you will feel better soon. I already had physio in the hospital because of my weak pelvic floor and will have a second appointment in a couple of week's time. I had problems with urinary incontinence after birth. It got better, but I still leak when I sneeze or sometimes when I go for a run.

@Covidcorvid

I'm sorry to hear about your leg, I hope you get better soon and that your surgery will help

@Graciebobcat

It certainly does affect many things. I tend to get vaginal infections, which I never had in the past, and was already on several courses of antibiotics because of that.

That's great news, good luck.

@homecookedcurry great news!! It's great the hospital is recognising their mistake and will follow things through. I'm not sure if you've mentioned, but would a post birth debrief with a consultant /senior midwife help?

You certainly have had a long road to recovery, but you have fought for yourself and now things are moving your way. Best wishes

Repeated infections and recurrent bleeding 7 months after giving birth.. wow. I am sorry you have been ignored for so long and so many people have examined you and said you were healing just fine. I wish you all the best with your surgery and healing.