Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Traumatic birth 1st time gone on to have second

38 replies

Dirtythirty · 14/02/2021 13:53

Hello
I am looking for advice, I had a traumatic birth with my son 2 years ago. Forceps, episiotomy, 3rd degree tear, 3 severe haemorrhages, 2 blood transfusions and a dnc 3 weeks later for retained product its took me a longtime to get where I am physically and mentally. My dh would love to give our son a sister or brother as would I but the thought scares the hell out of me. The hospital have agreed to support me and I will have a planned c section, I'm just petrified of bleeding to death. Any advice would be appreciated and try keep it positive please.

OP posts:

Maybemay123 · 14/02/2021 21:17

Yes I haemorrhaged. I ended up with what seems usual in these cases multiple blood transfusions, stitches, fluids and clotting drugs. He was worth it though.

Original poster

Dirtythirty · 14/02/2021 22:13

@Maybemay123 thank you for your reply. Oh yes worth it a million percent xx

OP posts:

LizzieSiddal · 14/02/2021 22:17

I too had an elective Csection after a traumatic first birth. I waiting 3 years as I was so afraid, but I’m so glad I did it. The planned csection was absolutely amazing, I actually enjoyed it!

I wish you luck, you will be fine.

thebear1 · 14/02/2021 22:22

I had a traumatic birth too. I had my 2nd by elective csection. It was a relaxed experience and recovery was so much better than recovering from my first.

Tatogratin · 14/02/2021 22:22

[quote Dirtythirty]@Tatogratin thank you for your reply.. Did you have 2 natural births or c sections?[/quote]
Both inductions as was over 42 weeks with both (they just seem to like staying in!) first ended in forceps and episiotomy, second no forceps and a 2 degree tear. Both epidurals and both nearly went to c section as baby was in distress because i had hyperstimulation with both

morninglive · 14/02/2021 22:26

Second c section went like a dream. I know the fear, but it's really so much better 2nd time

Lumene · 14/02/2021 22:31

This happened to my sister, she fought for an ELCS which she got.

It was touch and go and required a transfusion due to scarring and adhesions from the first birth. She is ok now it it was pretty rough on her and her husband at the time.

nildesparandum · 14/02/2021 22:41

SylviaPlath1984
Ditto for me as well.
48 years ago I got sterilised during my second c section.I was not going to tempt fate again after the first one nearly killed myself and my DS1.
Dirtythirty
I hope things go well for you second time.I am sorry for not being positive but that was me and childbirth.My body is not built for it.

I now have five grandchildren and two great grandchildren courtesy of DS2 which would not have existed if I had not had a second child.

SylviaPlath1984 · 14/02/2021 22:41

@Lumene

This happened to my sister, she fought for an ELCS which she got.

It was touch and go and required a transfusion due to scarring and adhesions from the first birth. She is ok now it it was pretty rough on her and her husband at the time.

This is my fear... I've opted for an elective with my second and I know that given the options it's the best route for me and baby but the fact that some people have it go horrifically wrong terrifies me.

Sexnotgender · 15/02/2021 13:05

My first birth was a shitshow.

Second was great, I’m now 32 weeks with my third! Hoping for a repeat of birth number 2. Literally 3.5 hours from twinge to baby. Never went to postnatal discharged straight from delivery suite.

Marpan · 15/02/2021 13:15

Get a date for the cesarian in writing, early. At 12 weeks. If a cesarian is what you really want of course.

Demand it. Then bring it to every single appointment.

If they refuse, be prepared to go private.

They lied to me. I went private.

autumncountryleaves · 15/02/2021 13:22

I have an ELCS booked for 3 weeks time after an absolute shit show of a first birth - induction, back to back, failed forceps then EMCS with a 4 litre blood loss, 6 transfusions then sepsis to top it all off!

I'm not going to lie, I am scared about the possibility of bleeding again in theatre but my consultant was wonderful at going through the chances of it happening again (very low) and by reassuring me that blood etc will be ready in theatre prior to starting so it's there if required. I remember in my post birth debrief, the midwife saying blood loss is not an issue if they ready to replace it which has reassured me slightly!

autumncountryleaves · 15/02/2021 13:24

Echoing above posters, get it in writing ASAP once you have referred to your midwives that you want an ELCS.

I put it on my self referral at 6 weeks, was adament about it in my booking appointment and spoke to a consultant at 16 weeks who went through all the pros and cons of both VBAC or ELCS with me, before getting it signed off so to speak and a letter sent to my house confirming my care plan.

I had absolute no issues, but if you do make sure you ask to speak to another consultant who will agree, as they need to refer you to someone else if they refuse to sign it off

Flip

1 2