Birthing without tearing?

[doritodiva]

Is it possible to give birth without tearing?

If birthing position matters:

ds1, sitting on edge of hospital bed thing with dh hoiking one leg up and midwife in front of me complaining endlessly about everything

ds2, standing up by my bed at home, lovely midwife behind me waiting to help guide my hands to catch the baby

ds3, all fours on my bed at home, midwives all over the place ignoring the fact I had asked them to stop trying to coach me/ telling me not to shout so much

Now I think of it, my entirely tear and graze free birth was the one where I did not find the midwives annoying and did not wish they would fuck off and never come back. I wonder how relevant that is?

I managed no tearing with my last one, recovered very fast. It may sound a bit weird but I made a conscious decision not to push and to just focus on my breathing. In previous deliveries I think I may have started to push too early, because I could feel the baby coming out and was desperate for the pain to stop! I also felt baby moving back up a bit in between contractions which was very frustrating. This time I just let go. At some point the body sorts of pushes baby out anyway, but it really helped me to stay focused on myself and let things go at their own pace. It was an induced labour so things went pretty fast. It was also the first time I could use the toilet quite painlessly afterwards! I heard perineal massage is very efficient too, but I never managed to stick with it.

I had an episiotomy with my first and grazed with my second. The first was a forceps delivery and second was a water birth. I was in the water for hours with the second due to shaped pelvis that will always mean I Labour really fucking slowly. It was by far a much better experience than my 1st and I'm convulsed the water made everything very supple down there

Sorry meant convinced, typo

Thank you for all your replies. It really does appear to be luck! I'm hoping for a water birth and less gas and air this time. But let's face it, until you're in the situation you really don't know how you're going to be.

@unmarkedbythat you have a very valid point. I imagine the more tense/stressed a woman is the more the body can't allow the natural process to happen.
My last midwife kept emphasising labour needs oxytocin not only to progress but for everything to relax and allow baby to pass through.

Good luck OP

No tears from either birth:

1. Big baby but born slowly at home kneeling up leaning on bed for support. Sat on a builders bucket during labour as recommended by NCT lady! I did use some sort of oil on perineum in pregnancy too.
2. Quicker but was on some sort of birthing stool in a birthing unit.

Gas and air in both. Hope that helps & good luck.

I’m lucky enough to have never torn or been cut or had stitches after birth. I gave birth standing twice and all fours once. I didn’t do any massaging as would never had thought to, and I don’t let people near me if I can help it in labour so there wasn’t anyone touching me as I gave birth, just my own hands, I wonder if that helped as I could feel what was happening more? Never had a water birth. Entirely average sized babies in the 71/2-81/2 pound range.