Tell me about your pandemic birth experiences

[Dreamcatcher34]

Just that, really. I wanted two birth partners and I was told only one. I’ve read news stories about women having to labour alone. There’s no concrete, stable advice through this and I’m due in December, so starting to worry a bit.

Please tell me every detail of how the pandemic has affected your birth experience. Or how you anticipate it will.

I had my little boy at the start of may and my birth experience was good but at times difficult. What is it that you want to know?

Were you allowed a birth partner with you? Was it just one birth partner? I am not with the baby’s father and whilst I would like him to be there for the birth of his baby, I want my mum with me for support.

Was it chaotic in the hospital/birth centre? We’re there a lot mor procedures in place or things you had to follow? Were your children allowed to visit to meet the baby at visiting hours?

And anything else that pops into your head, really.

I had my baby middle of May and I was only allowed one birth partner which was my husband. It all went OK was pretty calm and not chaotic in the hospital at all I felt quite at ease.
Wasn't nice having to go in on my own at first (I was induced) but my husband was allowed to come in just before they broke my waters and then he stayed for a couple of hours after the birth.
I wasn't allowed any visitors including my husband once I was taken to the ward that was it I was on my own.
I came out the day after she was born and was so glad to be able to leave even though it had been OK in the hospital I just wanted to be with my husband and daughter.
I think in your position I would choose to have my mum there with me.
it's important that you feel supported and cared for while your in labour.

I was induced at the end of April - I had to go to the ward alone and have a sweep alone but I said I was worried as my first birth was so quick. So when they’ve moved me to the delivery suite/private room they waited to break my waters until my husband (one birth partner only but I only wanted him so I was fine with this) was allowed in.
After baby was born my husband stayed with me in the private room for about 4 hours then was asked to leave when I went to the postnatal Ward.
Midwives were lovely and even helped me change nappies even though I felt perfectly fine and able!
We were discharged the next morning, a midwife walked me and my baby to the front entrance/exit of the hospital where my husband was allowed to meet me.
Overall I had a very positive experience. Don’t worry too much, all the midwives have your best interests at heart!

Just saw your questions,,,

Were you allowed a birth partner with you? Was it just one birth partner? I am not with the baby’s father and whilst I would like him to be there for the birth of his baby, I want my mum with me for support.

Was it chaotic in the hospital/birth centre? No it was very calm - calmer than “normal” times as less people!
We’re there a lot mor procedures in place or things you had to follow? No none than I can think of other than birth partner/visitor restrictions.
Were your children allowed to visit to meet the baby at visiting hours? No but this may have changed now

I suppose it’s just a case of getting on with it, isn’t it? I can’t change it. It just feels so unsettling.

I gave birth just over a week ago (in Birmingham, where cases are supposedely rising). I called the maternity dept and was invited in so they could check how dilated I was. As I was in established labour (I was 6cm, established is from 4cm) my partner could join me in the delivery suite I was moved to straight away.

Between moving wards, I was swabbed for Covid. Neither me or my partner were required to wear masks. All the staff we encountered throughout our stay were very chilled and supportive. There were no covid hoops to jump through.

Our midwives were amazing and arranged for us to remain in the delivery suite until I was discharged later in the evening. This meant my partner was able to stay with me and baby the entire day and we all went home together.

I had my baby in June. Nothing was much different apart from only 1 birth partner. I was a bit gutted as I really wanted my mam there too. But never mind, I was absolutely fine without her. My boyfriend was with me the entire way & never left.

Not a great experience for me. I was induced, and everything took a few days so I was in early labour in hospital on my own for three days until labour was established and I was moved to the delivery room when my husband could join. He was allowed to stay for a couple of hours after the birth, then I was taken to the post natel ward where I spent the next few days on my own - absolutely no visitors, so my husband couldn’t see his daughter at all, and I very much felt like I had no support or advocate in a very stressful post natel experience.

It seems like people’s experience is dependent on how the birth went and how long they had to stay in hospital.

I'm due any day now and partner is allowed with me to be induced (if I need to be) then he has to leave until I'm in established labour. He is going to be allowed to stay for a while after delivery and can come back and visit if I have to stay in.
He will also be able to come back and pick me up when I'm discharged.
To be honest if he has to leave after I'm induced I'm going to ask to go sit with him in the corridor, until I need to go back to bed. I suffer with extreme separation anxiety so I won't cope alone for very long.
I told my consultant that today and she just nodded.
They can't stop me from wandering around, so if that means wandering the corridors with my DH until I'm in established labour then so be it.
At least, that's the plan anyway! What actually happens will most likely be another story 😫😫😫

And to add, I've done the whole pregnancy apts alone. All scans, all consultant apts etc. Total and utter shit if you ask me, but it is what it is!

It is shit, I agree. My personal opinion is that giving birth takes more of a mental toll and is generally more important than Covid, so should not be affected by the rules. I don’t see how having two birth partners is an issue to be honest. I also don’t see how birth partners staying before and after the birth is much of a problem either- they can be tested. It’s so unreasonable. The chances are most people won’t even know they’ve had covid, but they will damn sure remember every last detail of their birthing experience and if they comes with limitations, it just adds to the feeling of being out of control. I’m so worried. I have mental health problems and I know it’s going to have a big impact on me.

*that, not they

I'm 39w so due imminently and have heard nothing but horror stories from my NCT group who've birthed their babies already in last week or 2 - no partners for assessment or induction or c-section, not enough staff on the wards, admitted without birth partner to antenatal ward and not moved to labour ward, no pain relief, forgotten about, partners not allowed on the antenatal ward but allowed in the toilets, babies being born on the toilet floor, never making it to the labour ward despite being under obs for 24 hours etc etc. Massive impact on mental health for all of them. One partner even missed the whole thing because the woman was forgotten on antenatal ward and got to 10cm before anyone called her partner.

I'm next. I'm petrified. Hopefully by December you'll have a far different and more regular experience. Would you consider home birth an option?

I gave birth in the first week of lockdown and was terrified.

I know every trust is handling things slightly differently but I’m Warwickshire in case it’s relevant and they were incredible. Yes we were reduced to one birth partner and the rules were constantly changing (my dh could stay with me til I was discharged 3 days later but my friend who birthed a month later had to have her dh leave 3hours post natal) - honestly though you would not have known we were at the height of a pandemic. The midwives are incredible and focus totally on your labour, nothing else. They’ve had even more practice at making it normal in a pandemic now.

Try not to stress - easier said than done!

July baby here - 1 birth partner, induction planned and attended alone, wasn't allowed to leave for the induction had to stay in hospital. Partner was allowed in when my contractions were quite close together, after about 6 hours of induction, but they didn't know how far dilated I was at this stage. Partner wasn't allowed to leave until 2 hours after birth and then couldn't come back until I was discharged the next day. Hospital didn't feel rushed and panicked, everything remained calm and run how I imagined it should have pre covid. Now the aftercare has been considerably different to what I expected....

@Margo34 I’m very high risk or I’d definitely go for a home birth! I think more and more will opt for that now.

It sounds like a real mixed bag of experiences. I’m thinking of booking an appointment to go in and speak to the midwives to put my mind at rest. Assuming that they have the time to speak to me.

Hi OP, I've just given birth to DC2 at home, so not particularly relevant as you won't be having a home birth, but I was also considering going to the birth centre, and I wanted two birth partners which isn't allowed at the moment.

As you are not in a relationship with the father, I strongly suggest that you have your mum as your birth partner, as their role is to support you not to witness the birth of the baby. This might be a controversial opinion but I don't think men necessarily make great birth partners even if you are in a relationship with them (I'm sure some men are wonderful but my DH was rather useless both times, sadly).

There is currently a campaign running for restrictions on maternity services to be lifted; look up #ButNotMaternity. Hopefully some hospitals might change their policies as a result of this campaign and guidelines from NHS England and other official bodies.

In the meantime there is some helpful info and advice here (including a template letter to request two birth partners):
www.aims.org.uk/information/item/coronavirus
www.birthrights.org.uk/2020/03/12/coronovirus-how-will-it-affect-my-rights-to-maternity-care/

A long time pre pandemic I actively chose to give birth alone. I simply cannot understand why people think birth is a spectator sport. It's a deeply private and meaningful experience between a mother and her child and their helper/midwife. I simply cant even think how awful it would be to have even the father there. But that's just me. To me it's a womans spiritual rite of passage.

"It's a deeply private and meaningful experience between a mother and her child and their helper/midwife."

So you don't actually mean alone, you mean with a midwife (or helper? like a doula or... birth partner?!)

The thing is, if you give birth in a hospital, you won't actually have a midwife with you the whole time, not in the early stages.

Just because you didn't want any extra support doesn't mean that other women don't need it.

Baby born in June. My last midwife appointments and growth scans I had to attend alone, which once you've done the first one and got used to being alone is absolutely fine. I was induced and my OH was with me the whole time, we were put together in a room while they did all my checks pre induction and then we also stayed together for labour and delivery. Baby born early evening, OH stayed until midnight and allowed to came back at 7am. Again, we were together until I was discharged. This was a far cry from how I was told it would be at the start of the pandemic (no partners allowed, he would have to wait in the car park until I was pushing and leave an hour after delivery - if he was allowed in at all!!) I was also told at the start of the pandemic I would have to labour in a mask - I didn't. And the midwives were just in plastic aprons and face masks and gloves - so not full on hasmat scary PPE!! I was also told I would need to go into the hospital through a back door and carry alllll the bags and car seat myself while in labour as OH not allowed in. We walked in through the front, and he went out later for the bags! I did have a covid swab on arrival. The policy changed massively through the pandemic, and it also varied between hospitals in my area as friends had different experiences!!! Good luck and it'll all be ok and not scary I promise. Enjoy your delicious baby come December

This is all so interesting- I’m due number 2 in early November/ I’m terrified of increased restrictions meaning giving birth without a partner. I actually haven’t minded the scans being alone because we’ve done it before, also I don’t mind no partners on the ward afterwards (though I think that’s more difficult and unfair on those with csections to contain with), but in labour I’m terrified to go alone.
To those who recently gave birth- did your husbands hover in the car park until active labour?

I had a really positive experience but I was extremely lucky.
OH attended the 12 week scan then covid hit so he missed to 20 week and we had a growth at 34 weeks that he couldn't come to but apart from that he was there for everything.
When I was in labour we get to the hospital about 4:45am and I had to go in on my own which was tricky having to contract on my own walking through the hospital but I got to the assessment unit and was taken straight in and examined and told I was 5cm and to ring my partner and he came straight up and we went to labour ward :)
I gave birth at 7:27am and we all just stayed in the room I gave birth in all day until 4pm when we were discharged and all went home together

Gave birth 6 weeks ago. I was booked for a section as my first born was via emcs but went into labour early. Had to stagger up to the labour ward on my own, a random doctor on the way did ask if I was ok, a midwife met me st the lift. Was checked to see how far along I was 3cm dh was allowed up. The Covid swab mid contraction wasn’t great and the first midwife couldn’t get the huge canula in I needed in case of another cs.
Progressed a bit, shift changed much better midwives, made me do a birth plan because I didn’t have one. Had some pethedine and slept between contractions. Dh was sat in the corner not as he was first time round. Things sped up had baby, dh stayed awhile, he could have stayed longer but had to go. I went through to post natal, lots of help, very quiet on postnatal should have stayed longer really (ended up admitted to children’s ward for weight loss a few days later, not a nice as post natal I spent the whole time crying). Discharged from postnatal the following teatime so dh didn’t visit during the day. He could have visited if I wasn’t going to be discharged.
It was a much better experience than my first birth and I was really well cared for in hospital.

I had my baby start of April. Induction booked. Arrived at hospital on my own. Booked in, settled into cubicle. Pessary in at 11am Comfy clothes on headphones on Netflix on bounced on a ball and texted a lot. 11pm mild contractions 1am waters went spontaneously 3cm dilated. Husband was allowed into labour ward at 2am. 5am was pushing 6.30
DS was born. Had an hour or so skin to skin and just the 3 of us in labour room. I had to go to theatre to repair a third degree tear. DH had DS. When out of theater and moved to recovery ward DH had to leave (about 12pm ish). He collected us from carpal following day. Staff were amazing and really looked after us.