Tell me about your pandemic birth experiences

[Dreamcatcher34]

Just that, really. I wanted two birth partners and I was told only one. I’ve read news stories about women having to labour alone. There’s no concrete, stable advice through this and I’m due in December, so starting to worry a bit.

Please tell me every detail of how the pandemic has affected your birth experience. Or how you anticipate it will.

Really hope things changed for you and everyone else super soon, I've seen some changes are already happening in some NHS trusts.

I gave birth as the country went into lockdown.

It was horrible and I suffer with PTSD due to it. He wasn't allowed to attend hospital appointments with me even though we were at high risk of losing this baby. I had to drive myself to hospital whilst in premature labour. I had no labour bags because I couldn't carry them due to the contractions and bleeding. My husband couldn't be by my side despite it looking like our baby wouldn't make it. When I was being prepared for an EMCS, I kept asking if my husband could be by my side yet and they kept saying no because I wasn't 4cm dilated even though I was about to deliver via a csection. Eventually a Dr said my husband could now come up as I was being wheeled to theatre, he only just made it (I know plenty of women whose husbads didnt). I'm sure because of everyone being more worried about Covid (making us both wear ppe and freaking out when i spiked a temp) that my spinal block wasnt done properly and it wore off half way through so I had to be put under GA.

Post birth, husband was allowed to come with me to see our baby briefly before being told to leave very rudely. He wasn't even allowed to collect his things, I had to drag them to him (less than 24 hours post section).

There was no one to help care for me, I ended up in a very bad state and needing the catheter put back in. No one would take me on the long walk to see my baby in NICU, I had to crawl there myself to deliver milk for him. Often there would be nothing for me to eat but toast for over 24 hours.

I stayed on NICU by my baby's side for weeks alone. Thankfully, after a couple, it was finally agreed I was able to have things dropped off to me every so often.

My husband had to wait weeks before he could visit his baby. I had to wait weeks before I could go home to see our other child.

It was horrible and I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone. I'm just thankful my baby survived. I've friends and family who had to go through baby loss completely alone from being told they lost the baby, delivering baby and being discharged - all alone without a hand to hold.

Hi OP, wishing you lots of luck for December.

It's an ever changing situation but keep positive and know that each Trust will have its own policies that can change on a daily basis. Maybe see what the Trust policy is nearer the time before you choose a birth partner? If they are allowing visitors then choose your mum but let baby's father visit at first opportunity, if you're comfortable. I think having baby's dad there to see he/she born or shortly after should help them connect?

Here's my pandemic birth story, I had my first baby in May:

Arrived in birth centre with regular contractions, after I was examined DH was allowed in from car park as I was 4cm. They told me I could contact him to let him know so I text him. Luckily I had my phone on loud with me in the bed still as he'd got to reception and the staff were basically just saying "no, nobody allowed. go away". So he called me and one of the midwives went out to reception to get him.

I was taken for an EMCS after various twists and turns over the next 7-ish hours, having DH there was a godsend. From support/reassurance for me, to contacting my mum (who would have been my 2nd birth partner) to let her know the latest developments.

He was allowed into theatre, held DS while I was sewn up, came up to Recovery as they wheeled me there but then had to go after 10 mins. I just remember asking if he could have even just 1 minute of skin to skin with DS and they said yes but it was clear we were pushing it.

I ended up being kept in for one week, only "allowed" to see DH once at the front door, even though he was dropping bits off for us every couple of days, I just cried in his arms for about 10 mins as I desperately wanted us all to be home together.

The midwifery team on the post natal ward were really stretched, more than one of them said this to me. The hospital usually allows 2 x birth partners and one can stay with you the whole time until discharge. So midwives are called upon much more for help with 'little things' that normally mums could ask whoever is there with them for help with.

In the current climate I think it depends on how your birth goes. Other FTMs from my NCT group were discharged within 12 hours and birth partners never left.

It is shit and I fail to see how partners from the same household, who have the same level of risk, can't be there from the beginning to discharge. May aswell go to the local pub to labour - lots of people allowed in there together!

All the best.

It's very hospital dependant I think.

I had an ELCS in early July and had a very positive experience. DH could come straight in with me in the morning, was with me through the surgery despite some complications. He left when we were taken from recovery to the ward.

He was able to book one hour for visiting each day, including the afternoon of the section and the morning of the day we were discharged.

The wards were much more peaceful than when I had DD1, although of course I would've preferred to have DH with me. The staff were fantastic and I didn't feel like I had to do anything I wasn't comfortable with at any stage.

I gave birth last Thursday, I laboured on my own and my husband nearly missed the birth. I also got no pain relief apart from the tens machine I brought with me because I was kept on a ward the whole time, instead of the delivery suite..
My waters broke in the night and I went to the hospital in the morning. My husband wasn't allowed with me until I was in established labour. I was kept on a ward with a monitor on ( it was a vbac for me). They wouldn't examine me, and when they finally did i was only 4 cm dilated. I phoned my husband to tell him to come, but once in established labour my baby was born within 30 minutes. I had to be rushed to the delivery suite in a wheelchair, the baby was crowing before I even made it to the door. When my husband arrived, the head had already been born. I went home 4 hours after the birth. I never thought this would be my experience, im just grateful we're all healthy but I wish my husband could have been there all along to support me instead of doing most of it on my own.

I gave birth on 6 June, was in labour 36 hours, husband wasn't allowed in when I went in to be checked unless once they checked me I was in 'established labour' both times I was only 1cm then 2cm so I just left the hospital again and went home.
3rd time i went in i was 10cm and i had to call my husband and tell him to come in as he still wasnt allowed in until I'd been checked.
All staff were wearing masks, we didnt have too but that might have changed now as masks didnt need to be worn in shops or anything back then.
Hubby stayed with me until I was moved onto the ward a few hours after to which he wasnt allowed to go on the ward.
They also tested me for covid on the ward