Following on from the no disrespect and best of intention thread, did you ever feel undermined for having for an epidural?

[TheCurseOfTheMhummy]

I had an epidural on both my dd 21 and ds 6. I had no qualms about having it on either of them but remember someone remarking after dd that I must have sailed through my labour. Apart from the fact that I wasn't given it until an hour before I gave birth, so didn't really have the full benefit of it, I'm just wondering is it actually thought by some that because you opt for an epidural that you don't feel pain?

Actually Curseofthemummy, thats almost what I did. Having been in labour for what seemed like the whole nine months, I was finally fully dilated and then my epidural failed. I did one push (which I was quite excited about because cs first time through failed induction) and it hurt so much I thought 'sod this for a game of soldiers and decided I was going to get up and walk out. Fortunately have lovely dh (who was a little freaked at this point) who kept me going and an amazing midwife and a registrar who was very stern and basically told me not to be so silly (just what I needed)

sorry that post took so long to type with one finger - it was meant to reply to something waaaay back!

Yes Mhummy DP was traumatised afterwards. Said to me "I'm never going through that again!" I was

OP - it's just like a degree.

nobody really cares if you got a first/second/third, just that you got your certificate in the end!!

It's ok Frightattendant I know where yur coming from.

Sorry but am pmsl at both ninom's nearly heading for the door and sunshinecursedmummy's partners remark.

your even.
True Casbie true, on that note, I better get my ar*e off the puter and make some tea, I'm in college in two hours after the Summer off and still have tons to do.

Yes, I had an epi with my dd (after 22 hours of very painful back-to-back labour) and thought I was a wimp. Then I gave birth to my ds with a doddle of a labour with no pain relief at all and realised how different different birth experiences can be. BUT - the midwives praised me to the skies the second time round for doing it without pain relief. It was clear that from their perspective, I was a success. Hence, by implication, I hadn't been the first time. Though actually I'd been far tougher and endured far more the first time. It's all quite ridiculous.

TheCurseOfTheMhummy - we are all great I agree

doggiesayswoof - I think it's assumed shorter = easier but it's so very intense right from the start and builds quickly. I felt so out of
control during my last labour (quickest one) and I was begging them to help me get him out because of the pain. My first two labours where longer
for me and more manageable, although still very painful.

why on earth would I feel underminded by having had an epidural? - makes no sense to me at all.

Not in the slightest. I had actually planned to have one (unless it turned out to be a lot less painful than I was expecting - it didn't!). I think I was very relaxed about it though, because I worked as a staff nurse in the recovery room, and had seen how good epidurals can be as painrelief during surgery, and basically I just don't enjoy pain very much.

My epidural was completely wonderful, No pain at all once it was in, and I spent several hours relaxing, reading the newspaper, and was laughing and cracking jokes with dh and the midwife when ds was born. However, for several hours before having the epidural put in, (while still at home, before going in to hospital) I was in a lot of pain, throughout the whole night. So the epidural was a really welcome relief. I don't feel remotely guilty about it, and would do the same again if I was going to have any more dcs.

I had an epidural and I do feel I have to justify it when some people ask. I´ve definitely noticed that ´oh, that´s a shame´ look come into some people´s eyes. But it isn´t everyone.

Having one certainly did NOT mean it was an easy labour, in fact I couldn´t cope with the pain at all after hours of contractions without dilating. And then I was given oxytocin and an epidural simultaneously. Except the epidural wasn´t working and no one noticed (or believed me enough to check) for 3 hours. 3 hours of horrifically strong, long, contractions every 40 seconds (dh was glued open mouthed in shock to the monitor and the jaggy peaks of my contractions are burnt onto his retina) before they plugged it in. And then...aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh... I´d have one again in a heartbeat and I don´t care what ANYONE says

No way, my caesarean would have been unmanageable with gas and air alone.

I didn't have an epidural but I would've if I'd had a much longer labour, no question. I was induced and my body reacted v. strongly to the prostin and it took just two hours after the pessary was inserted for me to be fully dilated. Eh - "ouch". I did ask for pain relief (pethidine) but it was too late by then. I'd have no qualms about having an epidural in future, childbirth is HARD!

I wanted to have ds2 w/o an epi because I was worried about it slowing down labour and also the headache thing. In the event, I was induced and everything went very fast indeed. I had a few hugely painful contractions and decided that if another 5 or 6 hours was likely that I would have to have the epidural.

They inserted it, I had a couple more huge contractions and remember saying "I don't feel very anaesthetised!". Then one push and out came ds2. The epidural never had any effect other than to give me pins and needles in one leg.

The stupid thing is that I am now mad at myself for giving in and asking for the epidural as it feels like I cheated. That's why I always tell the story "I had one but it didn't do anything".

Why do we STILL feel that we MUST suffer during childbirth if we are to do it properly?!

Haven't yet read the whole thread but I do always feel the need to justify WHY I had an epidural cos I feel like people look down on me for having one.

What they don't know is I laboured for 18 hours to find I was still only 6cm and just decided I couldn't go on anymore.

The epidural relieved all pain, I could just feel the tightening of the contractions. Worst bit was when the epi started to wear off and I got excruiciating contraction pains in my thigh (no idea why in my thigh??!?!) but once they topped it up I gave birth in 18 mins. Which was great.

I do feel I missed out on a 'real' labour IYKWIM though

hell no. I had a nasty little elbow jammed up against my spine that had me demanding an epidural - not that I knew about the elbow until after. I laboured for about 23 hours in that state. Good thing I demanded the epidural as I ended up with severe tearing that resulted in nerve damage. It's been 19 months and I am still in some pain. I can unhappily say I have experienced more pain in that time than most people will in a lifetime. Women who say that have no concept of what I have endured. Anyone dumb enough to say it to my face would likely end up on the receiving end of some serious unpleasantness.

I agree with you frightattendant - labour does take one by force so there isn't really a choice as such. When I went to antenatal classes (2 sessions) with dh they did not cover the medical side of labour - they were selling their lovely birth centre with pools, beanbags, plants, whale music()etc. I was so disappointed when from the time my waters broke (with meconium in) I had to go to "the other side". Such a stark contrast

No I was ecstatic both times I received one. Second time round they even tried to deny me using the old chestnut 'you are doing so well we don't think you need one'. Erm no don't think so, jab me with the good stuff. Only important thing is that the baby gets out safely and the mother is also well. Both times for me this was the case so am more than happy I had an epidural.

I really didn't want an epidural either time
First birth, induction, got through it on gas and air, stuck on my back pushing as it was the only way I could get 'comfortable'. over 2 hours of pushing, ending in episiotomy, slight shoulder dystocia, baby who needed resucitation bla bla. Epidural not really an option as I was without a midwife most of the labour, didn't know how advanced I was, was in a complete panic, and they weren't very forthcoming with any pain relief really. I was VERY proud of myself for only having gas and air.

Second birth, got to 6cm without really noticing TBH (mostly at home), into the pool at 6cm anticipating the arrival of the baby very soon - and then I made no progress at all for the next 4 hours for no apparent reason. When they broke my waters, all hell broke loose and I freaked out & demanded an epidural.

Which DIDN'T FECKING WORK
after all I'd heard I was anticipating pain freeness and I was GUTTED
they kept trying but 2 hours later it had still only worked on one side (and caused a scary episode where my BP dropped, I started being sick and the baby got a bit distressed). So I had a spinal and it was BLISS. But it meant I had to wait ages for full dilation and then for it to wear off for a bit so I could push - and then 1.5 hours of pushing on my back AGAIN because I couldn't feel my legs.

After all my friends' second babies virtually falling out with 2 pushes, I was pretty gutted, also that getting from 6cm to birth took about 12 hours, longer than my entire first labour. And I really did want that peaceful easy waterbirth, so I was annoyed, and I do feel like a bit of a wimp. But I had 2 big babies - 9.14 and 10.5 - and I have got off very lightly in terms of tearing, stitches etc., and in my second birth, DS was in far better condition than DD which I was very pleased about. I was also ready to do anything to avoid c-sections as I've had previous gynaecological surgery which would probably cause complications and make my recovery more problematic than most people's.

I feel that the epidural did its job - it allowed me to rest (eventually) and push out a 10.5 baby in perfect condition with no instrumental assistance and no lasting damage to either of us. BUt I certainly didn't sail through labour, and it wasn't pain free by any means. And the epidural wasn't the miracle worker I was expecting, so I'll never assume that again. If I have a 3rd, I'll try for the water birth again, but I know that other things are much more important.

this is ever so long but I'll post it anyway. Good luck if you read it all...

I am so sad at some of the stories here. I had a very easy, very quick 8hr labour with ds1. And still had an epidural.
I didn't really 'work' for him at all.
That's why I felt like I'd cheated. It was so much better than most of my friends who laboured for two, three days etc. in some cases only to have a section after all that.
I felt like such a jammy b~*tch, and a wuss for asking for an epi.
Those who worked hard through labour have my utmost respect whether they had pain relief or not - I had none with ds2 and understand now why I was so lucky the first time.

Do some people really look down on others for having an epidural? I honestly have never thought anything of how anyone else gives birth other than if they have a baby at the end of it. Obv there are some drugs I would rather not take because they worry me (pethadine sp?) and I know some people don't like the idea of their back being injected (epidural)but are other women really that judging?

IMO you are going to go through pain however the baby comes out, C section or natural and with and without drugs both during and after labour.

I think anyone who is being pregnant for 9 months and then produces a baby at the end of it by whatever means deserves a medal

I had an epidural for my DD and it made the whole experience wonderful and almost euphoric. I was happy having it at the time, my DH was relieved to see the pain melt away - but it is comments from people who have heard that I had one such as 'oh she didn't did she?" that has left me feeling a little low about it...... Must keep remembering how good it made me feel!

Oh, I definitely agree that (a) there's an awful lot of hype about Epidurals Are Appalling (b) women who opt for them - especially women who decide in advance that they're almost certainly going to want one - are not Experiencing Labour, have Wrong Attitude, yada yada yada.

I was utterly clear during my first pregnancy that I'd want an epidural, and got in to rucks in antenatal class on account of this. Yet I still felt I'd failed when I found the pain overwhelming at 'only' five to six centimetres' dilation (I'd been labouring for around a day by this point, perhaps I should point out) and then massively guilty when my labour stopped and was re-started and then all went pear-shaped at the end and I had an emergency ventouse. Although nobody reproached me, I really felt I Had Not Experienced The True Sensations et sodding cetera.

I get into quite big rows on MN sometimes still, when I point out that epidurals statistically are really not that appalling.

mine did feel absolutely blo*dy wonderful when I had it at 7cm dilated.... even managed to doze for an hour so DH was bored!!!

My epidural was the best thing about my delivery (which was generally horrific and ended in emergency section, ICU admissione etc). Before the epidural was finding the contractions agonising, no break between them, hurt so much I couldn't speak / think / do anything - despite gas and air and pethidine. The midwife came in, saw how much pain I was in and how I really couldn't cope and arranged an epidural - don't think she even asked me, the next thing I knew the anaesthetist was there and I was so grateful - turned me back into a sane human being and took the pain away completely.
However, bizarrely, I did feel a bit like I'd failed and like I must have a really low pain threshold and be a complete wimp next to my friend who'd delivered 3 weeks earlier with no pain relief. Weird, because I'd never thought that before about other friends who'd had epidurals.