Following on from the no disrespect and best of intention thread, did you ever feel undermined for having for an epidural?

[TheCurseOfTheMhummy]

I had an epidural on both my dd 21 and ds 6. I had no qualms about having it on either of them but remember someone remarking after dd that I must have sailed through my labour. Apart from the fact that I wasn't given it until an hour before I gave birth, so didn't really have the full benefit of it, I'm just wondering is it actually thought by some that because you opt for an epidural that you don't feel pain?

Men. Pah! I suspect that if men had to give birth, pain relief in child birth would have been perfected by now

dsw, towards the very end I did feel the contractions (as a 'sensation', no pain) and I could push, but by then I'd lost the 'working' feeling for a while and in retrospect I think it did quite disorientate me.

I needed ventouse for both births. But with ds2 it was more of a get-him-out-now situation 8cord twice around neck) and it was mostly pushing with the ventouse just helping, whereas with ds1 he was really more stuck. Had an episiotomy with ds1, too, and 'just' tore with ds2.

Well soupy to coin a phrase, it doesen't always exactly do what it says on the tin.

Nope. Was induced. Couldn't have got through the next three days without it. Even though I couldn't move and legs swelled up like uncooked sausages.

What's gas and air like, btw? It looks pretty useless on tv.

I didn't have an epidural. Which means everyone assumes I had an ok labour.
It was awful, I really needed an epidural but there wasn't an anaesthetist around, so I pushed for 3 hours on gas and air and had 2 extended episiotomies....
No-one who has a baby fails. No-one. Doesn't matter if it was a 2 hour labour, c-section, induction, 48 hour labour, g & a, epidural, hypnosis. You get through it, however it happens and hopefully have a baby at the end to hug and hold.
If I could have had an epidural I like to think I might have better memories of that day and might even be brave enough to do it again. As it is I treasure dd(4) and just wish the competetive aspect of parenting would go away.

I have never felt undermined for having had two epidurals. Both births were highly medicalised, won't bore you with the details. Had epi 12 hours in first labour, and after another 12 hours ended up with an emergency section as baby was going into distress. Tried for VBAC for second baby, had an epi as soon as could (at around 4 cm) and after 2.5 hours of pushing baby wasn't descending so another C sec.

I have always thought and felt that having had epidurals was the right decision for me. I just couldn't manage the pain at all, especially for first birth (induced).

HOWEVER I have recently received a mail from a good friend of mine, who lives in Finland, and she told me that she gave birth in her home, in her own bath, without any pain and without any problems.

I cried my eyes out. My husband couldn't understand how I was feeling, to be honest I couldn't understand how I was feeling. I was gutted, jealous, and felt like a failure.

Fortunately not as it was a slow leak but it was a nightmare pregnancy. I was terrifed that we were going to lose him and had a few hospital admissions. It really hit me when I went in with a high temp at 26ish weeks and they had to alert the nicu as they thought I was getting an infection. I had antibiotics which sorted me out and my temp went down thankfully but it was horrible.

He was monitored after the birth and was fine, no infections but I was lucky as my water resealed at around 34 weeks, still on bedrest mainly though. I took all the precautions like no baths (only quick showers), lying or sitting back all day etc. Not surprisingly he was OP when I was in labour but turned before he came out. Was my most painful labour yet so that's probably why.

I feel lucky that he's here and healthy.

I had gas and air on ds along with the epidural, initially it was great but either I got used to it or they were giving me less because towards the end it gave me nothing but a throbbing headache, just what you need in the height of labour.

Have to say I was induced 1st time round and had g&a, pethadine all of which made me very sick and sleepy. Once the epidural was in I could cope with labour much better. When my friends tell me they just had g&A I do feel a tinge of regret but then unless they have been induced I can make the distiction that their bodies, generally, have had a few more hours to build up to the 'big mumma' contractions that I went straight into. My ds was 9lb 1oz, ventouse, episiotomy and then I tore anyway. I am very glad I had an epidural whilst all that was going on.

I am 35 + weeks prgt atm and are hoping to have another epidural as I have been having regular growth scans as this lo has measured big since 20 weeks and I am hoping to be induced at 38 weeks (consultant suggests)

I think really we need to support each other more and not be competetive, after all, the aim of the game is to produce a healthy baby with a healthy mummy. -Does it really matter if you have pain releif to do that?

That's good toadie.

Blueberry, so you felt that way, you know hotcrosbuuny's post is spot on, you brought your baby into the world and should be proud.

True muppetgirl and good luck with baby.

I never even considered not having an epidural - at least, I thought about it but no, give me drugs every time!

I have felt really badly about my c-sections, though. The 1st was an emergency & the 2nd planned, but not by me, by the ob/gyn. He said he thought the same problem would happen again.

Also, because mine were fast labours (around 3 hours for the first two and it's on my notes at about 70 mins for ds2) they assume it was easy and less painful. It's not! It was extremely painful, espeically the last one. I had about 20 min pushing stage with dd, 2 hour with ds1 and about 45 mins with ds2.

I do a little. However, the first 8 hours I had nothing at all and the last half hour they let it run out at the same time as giving me Synotocin to make the contractions a bit stronger and more frequent. I think I know what full blown labour felt like. It would be annoyed if somebody insinuated that I hadn't had a 'proper' birth experience.

I didn't have a single thing with DS2 - he was born at home but that labour was only 5 hours compared with 18 for the first one. I doubt if I would have wanted to go through 18 hours with nothing at all.

They just don't compare as experiences.

Blueberry Pancake - Your friend in Finland is either looking at her birth with no pain through rose coloured glasses or she is very very unusual (and lucky). Don't feel bad about it. If she had been in your body for your labour whose to say how she would have coped. We can't chose how our bodies react to being in labour so it isn't something we can really fail at.

Fortune, why do you feel bad about the c sections though?

Toadie, I am so ashamed to admit this but I would have to some extent have assumed that too.

Isn't it astounding, how much we know, how much we think we know and how uch we actually don't?

I'm glad I started this thread because even though I'm sure my baby days are behind me, this thread has been very educating for me.

Without sounding too cheesy but are we not feckin marvellous?

I felt that I hadn't "done it properly". That I hadn't given birth.

Oh sweetheart of course you did!

birth is hard whatever happens. except for me naturally.
silly silly silly 'competion' when it comes to birth, pregnancy and babies. Take no notice. [of them not me of course lol]

Toadie that's interesting about your shorter labours - I would have assumed that short labour = easy labour too, just because I had a long labour so that's all I know about.

Glad to have been put right on that one.

You're right mhummy - we are amazing creatures.

And when this little one arrives I'll be knocking down the door demanding an epidural

The other thread actually made me think of this one but as someone on that thread said, it doesen't matter if it had to come through your nose, you still gave birth to your baby.

I just know I missed out on something very important, that only a woman can do. It would have been painful but it would have been worth it!

Gosh. I had a spinal anaesthetic with ds, for a forceps delivery and possible c.s. if that failed. Had I known, I would have had an epidural hours before. With dd, I had just gas and air, which I stopped using at the pushing bit. I sort of looked forward to pushing her out myself.

It was in fact not a lot of fun at all.

After ds, I wanted another one almost straight away. After dd, I said "I am never doing that again".

I still look at ds 1 now 3.6 and think
'I'm marvelous, I did that!'

Also giving birth is just one aspect of having children and I think that's forgotton.

This is a true fact, muppetgirl.