Been told partner not allowed with me in c section

[Nonymous1]

Hi everyone

I'm having a completely melt down, this entire pregnancy and in fact my whole life I've been absolutely petrified of giving birth. So much anxiety that I opted for a c section, which is booked for April 20th. I was originally planning for my mum, best friend and boyfriend to be with me for support. Due to the virus I was told I could only have my partner with me. I have now learnt today that he can't even be there with me for support. I have to do this all alone and I am so petrified to the point I feel like I don't want this baby because I'm so incredibly scared of doing this alone, has anyone had a c section on their own before and if so how was your experience

I am sure this will go down as one of the worst times in history to give birth to a baby 😭

I’ve had a c section on my own. We lived in another country where partners are not allowed in theatre.
It was honestly fine. The staff talked to me the whole time, I’d had a section before so I knew what it was about. Got a lovely baby :), all was good.

The staff were so, so kind during mine (and I was so focused on getting DD out safe) that I didn't really notice DH being there.

It's so tough, but you'll be fine xx

Have you learnt this officially from the hospital? Which hospital?
There's a lot of people out there posting fake information about giving birth at the moment?

I don't think you've ever been allowed more than 1 person in theatre for a section - atleast not here anyway, so having 3 was probably never a realistic expectation. It's pretty crowded in there!

That aside I understand that it must be upsetting to find that you have to do it without your partner, having had 2 I can honestly say though that it's usually a quick and painless experience. About 45 minutes from entering to leaving theatre, midwife was by my side the whole time and there was a lot going on around me so i didn't really take it all in anyway.

Realistically, I'm sure you know that not having the baby isn't an option so you just need to go ahead and get through it. These are hard times but remember it's fairly recent that father's are allowed anywhere near a birth so you will get through it, just like millions of other women have.

Try not to stress about things that you can't control - good luck 💐

I thought you were only ever allowed one person in for a C section, and none if a crash C section. My hospital only allowed max 2 birth partners for a vaginal delivery. They are tough times, but at least as a planned section it should be calm and collected and run smoothly.

Is that definite OP?
Thst sounds hard and I'm sorry. I've had a c-section and the staff were lovely. I bet they'll go the extra mile if you cant have your DP there.
It's a pretty quick procedure by the way!
Yes, it's a unique time to be having a baby. You'll be ok though and get through it.

Have you spoken to your hospital?

Often it's 2 birthing partners only so you'd not normally be allowed your mum, friend and boyfriend.

What seems to be the norm at the moment (that I've seen from hospitals) is that there's one partner allowed for delivery and they aren't allowed to swap over and must remain in delivery unit for the duration. Visiting is limited on antenatal and postnatal wards for obvious reasons.

However there's a lot of scaremongering going on. I'm in some baby groups on Facebook and it seems every day there's another post from a scared mum telling everyone that no partners are allowed and it seems to do more harm than good because people get wound up instead of contacting their hospital directly.

You were never, ever going to be allowed 3 people with you for support. It’s not uncommon to not have partners allowed in theatre with you.

It’s not one of the worst times in history to have a baby. Not even close. You’re in hospital. You have been allowed to choose a c-section. You will be warm, comfortable and well looked after with the access to all the drugs and medical treatment you require. No one is saying it’s ideal but it’s a long long way off the worst it could be.

You'll be fine. A midwife will sit next to you. The aneasthetist will be by your head. I had a lovely bloke who chatted to me all the way through..its only about 40 mins long x

It’s normal just 1 supporter during a section.
Mine was a general EMC and my husband wasn’t allowed in anyway.
You’re not alone, the hospital staff are going to be there.
Sorry to say this....but if it’s an elected section it might....and only might get cancelled. Maybe start looking into hypno birthing techniques.

I had to do a delivery alone as DH had chickenpox! Meh it was fine - he wouldn't have been any use anyway, that's what the staff are there for. You'll be fine. I do think 3 birth partners is a bit wierd and OTT! I wouldn't have wanted my mum, my DH and my friend there - nooo way just wierd!

"I am sure this will go down as one of the worst times in history to give birth to a baby"

No. It won't. It's a shame but it is to save lives (including that of you and your baby).

You wouldn't have been able to have more than one person there anyway and you'll be looked after.

Hi all

Sorry, I meant I wanted mum and my friend to just be at the hospital for when I got out of theatre. I just wanted my partner in the theatre with me.

I saw something about the changes on Facebook, so we called my hospital (Norwich) who confirmed that they are no longer allowing partners. 😫

I’ve had two on my own and it was honestly fine. I ended up having a GA mid way through surgery and it was still fine. Focus on the outcome, it will be worth it. But yes if you haven’t heard it from the hospital itself I would clarify that.

It's always only one person in the theatre with you and if I remember correctly they aren't there the whole way through. I think they come in once the section is actually about to start but I know they are asked to wait outside for a bit or maybe that's just my hospital . Honestly the staff in all hospitals are fabulous and you will be so well taken care off. I think the lack of visitors will make your hospital stay really peaceful and absolutely everyone will be in the same situation.

You'd never have been allowed all 3 in there anyway, they'd get in the way of medical staff. Normally you get one person, but not in some circumstances - I couldn't have DH, it was an emergency. I was scared, but I knew the doctors and midwives needed to do this immediately and there was no time or space for others.

If it's an elective c-section it will be really calm, no running or shouting, no pain. It's hard not to have your husband there, but there'll be someone there to hold your hand the whole time, and he'll see you as soon as you get out of theatre (approx 45 mins).

Its true at at increasing number of hospitals sadly.

They wouldnt be doing it without good reason though.....pregnant and keep telling myself that to get through this

Oops didnt mean to add the angry face

On the Norwich hospital home page it says you are allowed one birthing partner. Can he not go into actual
Theatre but be there after or not at all? I would definitely ring and clarify as banning partner is against all the guidance from royal college of obstetrics and royal college of midwives and the who. I would be very surprised if they are going against that?

Hi OP. I was alone (like PP in another country that didn't allow it) and I also didn't speak the language so I didn't really know what was going on. It was also an emergency C section but I had an absolutely wonderful midwife standing by my head the entire time (she spoke english) and she was even stroking my head at one point. The medical professionals know that it's a crazy experience for you so they will be there to reassure you. Hopefully you will be able to speak to one of the midwives beforehand and explain how you are feeling? Just try and focus on your baby. I was so nervous but the second I heard him cry it was like an enormous wave of relief rushed over me and then I really didn't worry about anything else. I was just happy he was there safely. Good luck!

There will be someone who will talk to you through the whole thing. My husband was with me, but the anaesthetist was extremely comforting and talked to me, and a midwife kept me talking and reassured me. They will take extra care to make you feel safe.

I had a c section on my own, it was fine. The doctors and midwives were talking to me the whole time and one of the doctors even took photos as soon as the baby was out so we ha e some great ones.
I didn't notice that DH wasn't there to be honest as it was all so efficient and he was waiting for me in recovery.

I am sure this will go down as one of the worst times in history to give birth to a baby

I'm sure you're aware that that's not really the case. What about times when a C section wouldn't have been an option, when there was no pain relief, when there was high maternal and child mortality, when there was a high risk of puerperal sepsis? Even nowadays, there are people who go through childbirth on their own without any close relatives or friends for support. As PP say, there will be plenty of support available for you, so try to relax and look forward to it.

NNUH is my local hospital too. And I’ve not heard anything about this. Their website says 1 birth partner currently. Partners not allowed on wards and visiting patients not allowed but other than that...

You’ll be fine honestly. I’ve had two they don’t take long and the staff are lovely and supportive. Things might change by then anyway.