Am I crazy to be planning a natural birth for 1st baby? Reassurance needed please!

[missbumpy]

I've decided that I want to try to have a natural birth. I'm going to a birthing centre (in a large hospital so near to doctors/surgeons if things go wrong) and I'd really like to try to do it with just a birth pool and gas and air. I've been reading up on it as much as poss and I've been really encouraged by some of the books on the subject.

I'm not an idiot and I know that things can go wrong and I'm prepared that I might not be able to cope with the pain etc. However, I've had quite a few people telling me I'm mad for considering a natural birth and it's making me start to doubt myself.

Some of the comments are coming from people like my brother who doesn't have any kids so I take it with a pinch of salt. I've also had lots of disparaging comments from women who've had kids (and who chose to have an epidural) telling me that I'll be begging for all the drugs I can get once I go into labour.

Sorry this is turning into a bit of an essay. I suppose I'm just looking for a bit of reassurance from other MNers who've had natural births. I just need to know it can be done and that I'm not crazy for wanting to do it this way.

givenwas delt

HerdNerd, that's really good to hear about your DW. Congratulations

Doublelife, I've been doing yoga too (although not very regularly ) so hopefully the breathing techniques I'm learning at yoga will help me to relax.

I'm definitely going to ask MW about TENS.

I really appreciate everyone's encouragement on here. I've generally been feeling quite excited, confident, and strong about the impending birth (especially after reading Ina May Gaskin) but I think I've been having a bad week and I've started to feel a bit less confident. I have images of myself having the 1st twinge of a contraction and just crumpling and begging for an epidural! I haven't had any braxton hicks so I can't even begin to imagine what the contractions feel like. Is it in any way comparable to bad period pains (obviously much, much worse) or is it a totally different kind of pain?

Hey Missbumpy I am in exactly the same position as you due 15th October and planning the same kind of birth at a MLU.

Also feeling a little aprehensive at times in terms of what if I get there and feel like I can't do this However MW's have been really supportive and most of the time I am feeling oaky.

Whatever happens in the end we will get a baby at the end of this and it is just a day or two out of our lives I guess. But as you say it's hard to imagine what the pain feels like and how you will cope with it.

I am finding it strange not knowing how long it will be now will it be a few weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks etc. at the risk of sounding a bit mad it feels a bit like Christmas when I was a kid mixed up with waiting for my exam results but times a million!

Hi Kittiwake. Congratulations It's nice to hear from someone with the same EDD as me. Where's your MLU?

I know what you mean about xmas and exam results. Actually, I've got my driving test next week and I think I'm getting pre-test nerves muddled up with my feelings about the birth . I'm just feeling generally jittery I think.

It's a hard concept to get your head around isn't it? Everyone tells you that labour is the most painful, intense, and incredible thing you'll experience in your life. You know it's coming in the next few weeks but you don't know exactly when and there's not really much you can do to prepare for it.

No you are not mad that was my birthing plan water birth and G/A I also attended Hypnotherapy classes (not cheap) but were fantastic help when waters broke. Good Luck!!!!!

My MLU is in Brecon in Mid wales so it's pretty tiny they have around 50 birth's a year and if things go pear shaped I will have to transfer to Abergavenny hospital which is about 30 mins away. But on the plus side it is really homely and they have a nice pool etc, because of the loaction they do a lot of home births etc so I feel pretty confident inthe midwives. Where abouts are you?

Good luck with your driving test ooh yes that was a nerve shredder for me too.

I think your right it does blow your mind a bit, we are used to having control over most situations or at least having some idea what to expect and you know this time however much you read about it it's all hypothetical until you actually get there!

Kittiwake, I'm in London so I won't be bumping into you at the MLU!

Not sure which I'm more nervous about at the moment, driving test or labour .

Good luck with everything. It sounds like you've got a good set up at your MLU which must be a weight off your mind.

Jo71, I'm really interested in hypnobirthing. I've ordered a book and CD but it hasn't arrived yet . I'd love to go for proper hypnotherapy sessions (for the driving test as well as the labour!) but sadly I don't think my limited funds will stretch to it.

my first was natural, had water birth and gas and air was in pool hour 30mins after arriving, was asked after if i would do it again said definatly (whilst still in the pool)

I had the epidural and was a godsend only i still had pain in one spot. When it came to pushing it had wore off and i swear it was the most horrifing pain of my life. I am still traumertised by the birth.

Keep an open mind, thats all i say.

Choccybuttons, sorry to hear that. That sounds horrendous!

Missbumpy, sorry haven't read all the replies, but IMHO surely a natural birth should be the norm and the starting point? I'm a bit shocked at the reaction you've received, I have to say.

Obviously things happen, and intervention is necessary but if you can do it naturally I'd really recommend it. Fundamentally its what our bodies do.

So you go for it.

BTW I've had 4 naturally, 3 at home, water, gas & air, no stitching up necessary. I used hypnotherapy, acupuncture and aromatheraphy and homeopathy to varying degrees of success.

Stick to your guns, but be open minded to any intervention so as not to feel disappointed if things don't go as well as you might have hoped. Good luck!

I meant the reaction you said about in your opening post, not on this thread!

Don't mean to scare you but i hate it when i hear of women who plan natuaral births with candles and soft music (not saying thats you) because its so not the reality. It will be like no other pain you have ever felt so don't rule out all pain relief. On the bright side you will have your little baby in your arms at the end!

That's the thing though, isn't it? Its different for everybody and you don't know how its going to go until you are actually doing it!

Sorry to contradict you Choccy, but I'm a 'candles and soft music' reality. That's just pure luck I know, and I know it could have gone any way at any time.

Guess you can only prepare yourself for any eventuality, but go for what you want ideally and take it from there.

choccybuttons, it sounds as though you had a really horrid time of it, but as other people have said, everybody's experience is different and some people do get through it without pain relief.

Also, it isn't considered good practice by many to let an epidural wear off for pushing as the body hasn't had a chance to 'acclimatise' to the pain and so it can actually feel a lot worse than if you hadn't had the epidural at all!

Missbumpy - if there are no complications, go for it. We are hoping to have a home birth with no. 2 and I feel much more confident about coping with the pain levels after having been through it once already. Labour is bluddi painful, no getting away from that reality, but the pain was manageable with g&a. Several of my friends only had g&a in labour although I wound up having an epidural with ds to slow the labour down.

As others have said, I think you have to go into childbirth with an open mind as you have no idea what might happen along the way.

Hi Missbumpy - You're not mad, why would anyone plan an "unnatural" birth?!

I had my first baby at home last year, used hypnobirthing and had a planned home birth. My best friend said to me whilst I was pregnant (in a very patronising tone, especially for one who has no children!) that "maybe once I got all this silliness out of my system first time around then perhaps next time I'd go straight for the eipdural in hospital." !!!

Well, bollocks to everyone, I had a fab 4 hours labour at home, just gas and air, didn't even have time to get in the pool, totally recommend it to anyone (I think the Hypno had an awful lot to do with it!) Obviously there's always a chance there could be a complication, but on the whole, birth isn't an illness, and a lot of it is down to you state of mind. I went out of my way to not listen to anyone negative whilst pregnant, why do people want to tell you how awful it is? Their experience won't be yours.

Stick to your guns and good luck! Let us know how you get on. Oh, and totally reccommend reading this book - it's a bit way out and 70's but if you're not phased by that it's really really interesting and good to hear positive tales of birth.

I was asking my mother about my birth (in 1968) a few days ago. She says had no pain relief. It was offered but she didn't feel the pain was so bad that she needed it, so she didn't bother.
She said she actually suffered worse pain after I was born with her piles!

Thanks for that Bohemianbint. It's good to hear another positive 1st birth story. I'm getting really impatient for my Hypnobirthing CD and book to turn up now. Knowing Amazon it'll arrive a few months after the baby's born!

Hope you got your work stuff sorted.

hi
not had time to read all the responses here but just wanted to encourage you to go into it all with an open mind and, however it turns out for you, focus on the outcome (the birth of a lovely healthy baby, hopefully!) rather than how you get/got there.
I gave birth six weeks ago today to my first baby. I did a hypnobirthing course and approached childbirth with a really positive, upbeat attitude. I was quietly confident I would find it fairly straightforward (!! naive, I know..) and like you very keen to avoid an epidural.
Well, I DID manage without one - I just had gas and air (fabulous!) and pethidine (NOT in my birth plan, but also fabulous!) but it was no picnic. (to say the least...) and in some ways i could probably have saved myself a lot of trauma if i'd had an epidural.
I don't think it's helpful to tell you the bad bits, and it all ended happily, but I just wanted to advise you to go with the flow, and have the pain relief you need if the hypnobirthing isn't working for you. My baby was 9lb (i'm only 5ft4in and petite build) and I was in labour for almost 40 hours including "early labour" and 15 hours of "active" labour. Hypnobirthing helped to a point but in the end wasn't enough, to get me personally through a very difficult birth, hoewver much I wanted it to be!
wishing you so much luck (and I reckon a lot of it IS luck!)

Learn how to do 'yoga' breathing (i'm sure there's a technical term for it but I learned it at yoga!), I gave birth in hosp but got through most of the contractions with that and then gas and air at transition.
Mine did end up with lots of intervention but I did the best I could. Don't all shoot me but I can't understand why epidurals are so popular, the contractions are there for a reason so why not feel them?
You will be in a hospital birthing centre so nothing can go wrong that can't be sorted straight away.

hi there. not had time to read any of the other posts. you are not crazy !!

having a natural birth is the best thing you can do for your baby and the best start in terms of breastfeeding.

I had a great birth for my ds - not at home sa planned but still natural. had 20 mins of gas and air through transition and he practically delivered himself.

stay at home as long as you can - keep active, on bouncy ball (i also cleaned and walked the dog) - keep fit, eat healthily, drink loads of water (lots of o2 to feed your uterine muscle to aid contractions) and enjoy what can be a really empowering experience.

i won't lie, it is painful and different to what i expected - but YOUR BODY IS DESIGNED FOR THIS and if you couldn't cope, nature would have designed it a different way. don't get hung up on expecting it to be dreadful - otherwise it will be !

best of luck x

Not mad at all - as long as you are in good health and there are no anticipated problems with your baby. (If you were someone with a major medical condition that meant your doctors and MWs were recommending certain interventions, then it might be better to listen to their opinions). I had my DS in hospital with only G&A (well, OK, lots of monitoring and no pool but I was hypertensive)- though I did ask for an epidural towards the end, the MW said 'By the time the anesthetist's put his cup of tea down and got here, you'll have had the baby' By all means go for what you want, but if it doesn't go to plan, don't feel bad about it. The goal is a healthy baby and a relatively undamaged you at the end of it.

I was a bit unsure too and lots of people said the same things to me. But I was very keen to have a natural birth (that is in a birth centre with gas and air). My birth was straightforward and I had a water birth- wasn't planned but they gave me that room as it wasn't being used. It was very painful but a wonderful experience and I was very pleased that I did choose that way. I felt a huge sense of acheivement and was happy I had done things the way I wanted. I was lucky in that the birth centre was attached to the hospital, so I knew I could be transfered at any time, but I really felt the midwives knew what they were doing. Before I was pregnant I would probably have thought it was a bad idea not to have all pain relief and give birth in a hospital, but having done it I have totally changed my mind. My advice is to keep an open mind- every birth is different and don't listen to other people's horror stories!

I haven't had time to read all the posts, but it's definitely possible to have a natural birth with your first baby. I had a horrible back to back labour with a really long second stage (3.5 hours), but I did it all with only g&a and finally manged to deliver naturally.

I have seen mention on this thread of birth plans. Can I just sound a word of warning to be very careful what you write in your plan (if you have one) about pain relief, and make sure you ask detailed questions about the hospital policies. Otherwise you could find yourself in the situation I did where I desperately needed pain relief and I wasn't allowed it because of a particular hospital policy.

So I guess what I'm saying is make absolutely sure that you are well enough informed beforehand to be able to maintain control of the situation. Don't presume you'll be able to question things or make choices once you are in labour because if you react in the way I did, you'll be able to say and do absolutely nothing.