Am I crazy to be planning a natural birth for 1st baby? Reassurance needed please!

[missbumpy]

I've decided that I want to try to have a natural birth. I'm going to a birthing centre (in a large hospital so near to doctors/surgeons if things go wrong) and I'd really like to try to do it with just a birth pool and gas and air. I've been reading up on it as much as poss and I've been really encouraged by some of the books on the subject.

I'm not an idiot and I know that things can go wrong and I'm prepared that I might not be able to cope with the pain etc. However, I've had quite a few people telling me I'm mad for considering a natural birth and it's making me start to doubt myself.

Some of the comments are coming from people like my brother who doesn't have any kids so I take it with a pinch of salt. I've also had lots of disparaging comments from women who've had kids (and who chose to have an epidural) telling me that I'll be begging for all the drugs I can get once I go into labour.

Sorry this is turning into a bit of an essay. I suppose I'm just looking for a bit of reassurance from other MNers who've had natural births. I just need to know it can be done and that I'm not crazy for wanting to do it this way.

TENS really helped me - and I've heard lots more positive stories, but no, you can't use them in water, so it might be more hassle for you than it's worth. I took ages to get up the courage to take mine off to have a shower

Hmm, maybe I should hire a TENS machine just in case the birthing pool is busy?

can maybe use it before pool anyway?
They're not cheap to hire tho so maybe getr a few more opinions before you decide

On its own I don't think the TENS would have been that effective but towards the end as the contractions were getting stronger, it worked really well for me in conjuction with the gas & air. I was planning to use TENS in early stages only but as my labour came on so suddenly and progresed so quickly we found ourselves in hospital without it - DH rushed home for the TENS and I was able to use it just as pain was getting worse. Definitely worked for me but no, you can't use it in the pool.

Thanks. I might ask the MW about TENS when I next see her. I'll see what she recommends.

Thanks. I might ask the MW about TENS when I next see her. I'll see what she recommends.

People love sharing their birth doooooom stories to frighten primips. Stick your fingers in your ears and sing 'la la la' when they start.

You're planning a birth that the female body was designed to do, and with a sympathetic and knowledgeable midwife (fairly standard for birth centres!) there is no reason why it shouldn't happen.

In my experience things go tits up once a doctor walks into a room of a low-risk woman...

People love sharing their birth doooooom stories to frighten primips. Stick your fingers in your ears and sing 'la la la' when they start.

You're planning a birth that the female body was designed to do, and with a sympathetic and knowledgeable midwife (fairly standard for birth centres!) there is no reason why it shouldn't happen.

In my experience things go tits up once a doctor walks into a room of a low-risk woman...

missbumpy - as for the natural birth - go for it It is very very painful , but it is possible.

One word of advice is not to tell people your plans. they will only judge and give unwanted advice. if they ask just say ' I decide when I'm in labour'.

If you end of having an epidural or even a C-section, it's possible they will gloat.

I remember seeing a pregnant woman on TV saying she had a high tolerance of pain and planned to give birth without epidural. The next scene showed her screaming in labour shouting for an epidural. The commentator said smugly 'and she thought she had a high tolerance of pain'.

Good point Belgo. I could do without gloating. I don't generally volunteer information about my birth plan but a lot of people seem to ask. I will try to avoid answering in future.

I didn't tell anyone when I planned a home water birth because I didn't want to hear their opinions and judgements. If I didn't have home birth, I didn't want to have to explain to people why. As it happened, I had my home water birth and people thought that it was an accidental home birth

I managed natural birth without pain releif with my first. I'm no superwoman and have to admit that it hurt like hell. However, you know why it hurts and millions of people manage OK - so good luck to you.I do think in some strange kind of way that the pain is positive - the more it hurts the harder you want to push to make it stop.If it doesn't turn out as planned- don't stress about it none of us know what we can cope with before hand and each birth is very diferent.

I had a natural home birth with no pain relief for my first baby. All was straight forward and simple and I think that if you are educated about birth options then its a really great option. I definitely benefited from having a drug free labour and your options are not limited you can change your mind in the event that things are not what you expected. I would say stick to your plans and educate yourself so that in the event of needing to change those plans you know what your options are.

2 kids, 2 natural births (YaY!!!!) But i totally believe that the more relaxed you are, the better it is for the birth, so maybe work on relaxation exercises..? I transfered to a birthing centre after my first (they wouldn't let me birth there for a first baby , but i had my second one there. It was fantastic!!! Very chilled, and a really nice atmosphere. You are not crazy, and natural births aren't an urban myth, they do happen, so why not to you??? Good Luck!!!

I delivered a primip (first time mum)last night and she coped fantastically on just gas and air, so it can be done! However, I think the key is often the length of labour. She was only in labour for about 6 hours but if you are plugging away for longer, not progressing etc you can simply become exhausted. My advice would be, wait and see. Decide on the day and as event unfold.

The average length of a first time labour is 12 -14 hours (according to a magazine I read). You have to be realistic about how long you will be in labour. As Reikizen says, if labour goes on for hours and hours without progressing, it is very hard to keep your courage and strength up.

My grandmother had a 24 hour labour with her first baby, with no drugs, alone in a hospital room. I used her as my 'inspiration'.

I found it useful to remember a previous goal that I have achieved that I found very hard - I walked the Inca Trail as a back packer, it is a high altitude hike in South America that takes four days. I thought if I could do that, then I could give birth naturally. I instructed my dh to remind me of my achievement when I was in labour, and that helped.

Hi there, I think, the best thing is to stay open minded, as you obviously are.
I had 2 of my children on gas and air only (and first ds was back to back when I delivered him) and I really didn't find it all that bad with them...well, there was pain, but with both of them I coped well without painrelief (or in ds 1's case a tens machine and before that a night in the bath, lol), comparing those 2 labours, my 2. labour was actually less painful then the first, but neither were that bad, like I said....indeed, when I was pg with es I started having really bad pain at around 18 weeks of pg, and well, I honestly thought I was in labour, it was soooo painful. I wasn't in labour though, it was just stretching of the Uterus and ligaments...and stuff....well, a fair few friends felt it was wise to tell me, that if I found something liek that so utterly painful, then there was a chance in hell I would have a natural Birth (nice...)...but I was happy to let them know afterwards, that to me the pain I experienced at teh earlier stage had felt far worse and more painful (although emotional issues were probably at play...I mean, when you start having really bad pain at that stage, and after having lost the previous pg....well, one would freak out, which doesn't exactly help dealing with pain.)!
With ds 2 I had a friend with me, for most of the labour, and she was really surprised by how little I seemed to be affected by the pain, and how calm I was....but with him it was a lovely, if rather slow progressing labour (which was possibly why it was gentler and less painful, I suppose).

With ys, well, I laboured at home and got to 10 cm's (I was planning a Homebirth with him) , that time I was in incredible pain, but still coped on gas and air and positioning myself and what not...but he was my most painful one out of the 3....well, until I stopped contracting for a while altogether...ended up in Hospital with Emergency C-section...but that was due to his position, etc...appaerently....I do believe the painfulness was due to his positioning, that is for sure...

But a calm, comfortable environment in general really does help when coping wiht pain!

I really like Sheila Kitzinger books....rediscovering Birth was a very interesting read, but I know she has got more good books, and there are other good ones, that are about birthing and natural births...

Not crazy at all, especially as you are not hell-bent on it, but see it as a goal to aim for. I have to agree that labour length is a key factor though. I coped with natural methods (TENS and breathing) for 2.5 days of quite intense pre-labour, and then 10 hours of the high-voltage every 2 minutes stuff, even though DD was OP and I couldn't use the birthing pool (was slowing things down). Trouble was, I was only 8cm at that point! So I went "off script" and had pethidine. I then coped without anything else for another 4 hours of first stage and transition, and then 2 hours of pushing.
A friend of mine is fond of telling me how well his wife copes with labour, and how she must be tougher than other women. Both her labours were over within a couple of hours, start to finish! I have to try hard not to throttle him. It's lovely he's so proud of her though.

I agree 3andnomore - labour pain, when labour is going well, is manageble in many cases.

I had 'false' contractions at 32 weeks with DD1 - I was in agony and on the verge of asking for an epidural - and I wasn't even in labour! I just had a urine infection. But because I was so scared of premature labour, I couldn't cope at all.

When I went into labour for real at 40 weeks, I was in a good frame of mind, and well prepared. I was also lucky to have great midwives and a supportive dh, and I was also lucky in that labour pregressed well.

Even so, I thought the pain would split me in two! But I coped, and of course in retrospect, it wasn't so bad.

forgot to say,maybe have a go at reading any Sheila Kitzinger and also a book called "Birthing from within" - really inspiring books

Yes, I've got a good friend whose first baby arrived in a matter of hours with only gas & air and water. I'm desperately hoping my labour is like her's but I guess there's no way of knowing how long it will take.

Another friend planned for a natural labour in a birth centre but after 40+ hours of getting nowhere and being totally exhausted, she was transferred to hospital for an epidural and forceps. I suppose it's just luck of the draw.

Oh, first labour : twinges started at midnight, went to Hospital at around 6am and he was born just past 9am

2. time...started labour at lunchtime, and ds wasn't born until the next day 5pm, went to Hospital at around 7-8am...but I know that my labour process was slow, because I was holding back for dh to return from Northern Ireland...and ds was born within 1 hour of him arriving in Hospital

3. time real twinges started around 6pm, and was fully dilated by about 4am, I suppose...went to Hospital around 5 or 6, I think....well, and ds was born at 8 something via C-section...

I really don't think much about the whole estimating times for labours for Births in order of first longest last shortest...I really don't think that always works like that...well...for me, it didn't anyway

Hey MissB,

On Monday my DW gave birth to our first child, a natural, calm, wonderful birth at home, to a 8.5 pound baby.

Like you, we'd had so many women telling us about the morass of horror and gore that their labours descended into, and we were determined to avoid all the interfering and bossing about that seemed characteristic of their birth stories. We also got the "hohoho, you just wait for the first contraction, you'll be screaming for drugs too" comment - it's not true!

It sounds like they're trying to reassure themselves that all women give birth that way, rather than trying to make you feel better about the upcoming birth.

You're doing the right thing about going to the midwifery suite - the interference there is a lot less than in an obstetric ward. Read some Ina May, too - there's a woman to make you feel good about labour if ever there was one!

Good luck. My wife and I found DD's birth a wonderful, positive and (I hate this word, but...) empowering thing. I hope yours is too!

Congratulations to TheHerdNerd and your DW on the birth of your daughter
Is she your first? How are you finding it?

I've gave a birth in a birthing centre and it was great.
To prepare for it I went to yoga classes and read everything I could get my hands on about natural birth (mn was very helpful too)

When in labour I used tens for first 4-5 hours, then went to have a bath and at the end had g&a.I could choose the position i felt most comfortable with and wasn't endlessly monitored.

Labour lasted for 10 hours. It was painful but I knew I can get through it. I didn't have any tear and there wasn't any need for intervention. My dd was born healthy and latched on immediately.

I did have quite a large hemorrhage (?) but it delt with very swiftly by my midwife.

Good luck with your choice