Most painful part of birth?

[PSL1990]

What was the most painful part of labour and birth for you?

Bluerussian my Mum and MIL had a whole week in hospital when they had their dc and midwives would take the baby so they could sleep and recover as well. That is the complete opposite to today where you're turned out after a day and no help whatsoever. I think to some extent it sounds easier back then. Also as you said we know so much now it scares you before you even go in to hospital!

Checking to see if I needed stitches, followed by the transition I guess (first birth)

Second birth... being able to walk. My hips killed as I'd had PGP and a bruised/broken tailbone. Took months for them to stop hurting. I didn't even realise I was as close to giving birth this time either. Contractions were 2-4 mins apart but not very painful. Good job I phoned and went in when I did as I gave birth 10 mins after getting there.

My son getting stuck back to back - felt like my spine was about to rip apart. Contractions and pushing were a doddle compared to that.

I went home the day after giving birth, it was a fairly new thing then but it was nice to get home, hospitals are not the most relaxing of places. The District Midwife came to see me regularly for a while, she'd examine me and my baby and check feeding, etc. Looking back I think I would have liked a home birth.

They aren't but I'd stay in one if I got to sleep; having that level of support must be wonderful. Bet it was lovely seeing the same MW each time. A home birth would be amazing if bo complications
Unfortunately I had to be induced both times so i didnt really have the natural pool birth i would have liked.

Contractions. I barely felt the crowning or the baby coming out, stitches they mercifully gave me an anaesthetic for, my recovery was pretty fast, after two days everything but the stitches had healed just fine.

The contractions made me want to jump out of the fucking window though, I literally ran and hid in the bathroom because I thought I could hide from them. I went totally loopy - couldn't get any pain medication so it was just horrendous.

@Yesterdayforgotten I live in Korea and they put a huge emphasis on post partum care here (maybe to make up for the Victorian attitude towards birth).

They have special hospitals where you can stay for two weeks to recover. The baby can be in the room with you if you want, but usually they sleep in the nursery. The nurses help with feeding, care, even give you massages, all your meals brought to you...it's so much better than just being turfed out to deal.

I think it is much better. Yes, bonding is important, but how the hell are you supposed to bond if you've had no sleep after giving birth?

Induced with epidural at 2cm so labour was a breeze. However, failed to progress past 6cm so had an emergency c section. Most painful part for me was probably when spinal block was wearing off a little towards the end of the c section as it took so long : O ! Funny thing is, I cant really remember any pain (bubble of happiness thanks to baby!) but husband assures me it wasn't fun and I turned to him after and told him we wouldnt be doing that again (already planning baby number 2 )

Stitches and afterpains!

Jeeeeeesus. Reading these and wincing and feeling very glad I had 2 c sections (1st unplanned due to never getting beyond 1cm dilation despite pessaries & syntocin drip, 2nd was ELCS). Felt like i'd been hit by a bus after the 2nd section but only lasted a couple of days. Women are bloody heroes! Men would not cope with the things a lot of you have undergone.

I had hypersensitivity to the induction drug so I had about 8 hours of very strong contractions every 10 seconds. It bloody hurt. When they went into break my waters without any pain meds and had to essentially reach under baby's head was the worst though. But I think most memorable is time spent on postnatal ward in pain and no drugs trolley for hours. It's like purgatory that place.

@LoveIsLovely oh my goodness that sounds like bliss! They obviously know how to do post partum care properly in Korea. Exactly I mean surely it makes sense that Mum sleeps and recovers from birth before expected to care for a baby. I think mother and baby would both benefit immensely.

@gaffamate I had that reaction too-they took the pessary out after less than an hour. It was hideous, took a few hours to stop. I’m surprised they let it continue with you, they told me it was dangerous!

Yesterdayforgotten, definitely. Some of my crunchier friends here think it's appalling because BONDING and SKIN TO SKIN and whatnot, but the first week after the birth, I was so traumatised by the labour and in so much pain that I didn't even feel like a human, let alone capable of bonding.

By the end of the week, I was fully rested and could care for my baby properly. I can't even imagine how it would have been to care for a baby 24 hours a day the state I was in. I couldn't go 2 minutes without bursting into tears. We get it SO wrong in the west, I don't know how women cope.

Don't worry, in every other aspect, Korea is a misogynistic hellhole but this they get very right.

Definitely the stitches I had for a 3A tear, the actual labour I don't remember being too bad. Pethadine is fantastic😉

@LoveIsLovely exactly know i really don't understand why Western society expects so much of women who have literally just given birth! I remember a MW asking if I was 'alright' because I was tired and closing my eyes and apparently you're not supposed to be exhausted after passing the equivalent of a bowling ball out of your lady bits. Its absolutely crazy. I think we are def better at bonding when we feel remotely like ourselves and have recovered from even 20 percent of what we just went through.
And yes Korea certainly have that spot on but as you say a complete opposite to some of their other beliefs which is a shame.

I know ^

Interesting to read some people say crowning. The worst part for me was just before having to push. Like the 20 minutes before of the intense and painful contractions. Once I had to push, I found that a breeze. I felt like I had to do a major poo. And I felt like I had a massive hemroid popping out. But didn’t feel burning. I was surprised she came out quite easy. I tore, but again didn’t feel it compared to the painful contractions that happened before the pushing stage. Probably because I knew the end was near and I knew once I got the head out it would be easy and finished soon. This was my third baby btw. The first two I had epidural. So I was lucky it happened fast and easy when I had no epidural. Although, w my first I made it to 8cm and didn’t realise that was the worst of it! I’m still amazed I managed to give birth with out epidural. I never thought I would. But your body does amazing things. And you just manage somehow.

Yes, the 20 minutes before pushing with dc1 was the worst for me, even with the nasty labial tear I got at the end - that was very brief . It was harder to breathe through.

It compares with the kidney stone I had, only that was continuous and went on for over 6 hours.

Crowning definitely!

Transition. I had 2 enormous long contractions where I writhed on the bed and they were too bad for me to even think about pressing my TENS machine. Then I mooed, which is how the midwife knew I'd fully dilated! It was the only time my DH really saw me in pain. Through pushing I squeezed my eyes shut, went totally silent and pretended I was somewhere else.

I do remember thinking "This is fucking awful, do not forget!" but I look back and don't feel it was too bad. Hormone trickery!

All of it was shockingly, frighteningly, excruciatingly painful (back-to-back births, no epidural, tears).

Half way through my first pregnancy so reading this with great interest
When people say the stitches were the worst do you mean actually being stitched up, do they not give you anaesthetic?
Or do you mean the soreness afterward?

Crowning was really burny, literally eyes on stalks im being torn in half burny. But it only lasts a few seconds and personally I had a lot of drugs. On reflection, the first 3 weeks of breastfeeding was the biggest attack pain-wise: several time’s a day, relentless, sharply painful, everyone saying it shouldn’t hurt if you’re doing it right. Well guess what, I was doing it right because I breastfed her for 18 months in the end, 6 months exclusively, but those first three whole weeks were absolute agony.

And the after pains for about a week every time I ate, I think maybe my stomach was getting back into its normal place. Really bloody painful.

Yes Labour is intensely, eye wateringly on the cusp of reality agonising but it is so short lived (I’m talking from early stages of cramping to the end result so 5 days for me) but the following month is like nothing else.

Just read some more replies on here: turned out after a day???!! I had my baby at 10am and was home at 6pm. Jesus!!

It’s actually barbaric!