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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

How long before you were 'back at it'?

36 replies

Andersonx3 · 06/12/2019 15:35

I gave birth 3 weeks ago - water birth and no stitches required. I have also stopped bleeding (lochia). I feel fine, everything is as back to normal as I could expect at this stage - my question is, how long before you felt like having sexual contact/inter course?

Just as a note - I know it's commonly quoted that you shouldn't before 6 weeks, and to use barrier contraception methods.

OP posts:
AnastasiaS · 06/12/2019 15:45

A few days Blush post c section, but I wouldn’t think that’s very usual or advisable.

Whodoyoutrust · 07/12/2019 17:19

9 weeks first time around and I can count on the fingers of one hand with some left over how many times we did it in that first year. It was agony, utter hell.

2 weeks post c section with DC2 and it appears the issues caused by the birth of DC1 have fixed themselves!

MrHaroldFry · 07/12/2019 17:29

Ten weeks. It was horrible, uncomfortable and nothing close to sensual.

Twinklelikethechristmastree · 07/12/2019 17:37

Around six weeks I think. Feels like a long time ago now!

Original poster
Andersonx3 · 07/12/2019 19:50

Interesting - very much dreading the first time especially now haha!

OP posts:
Stegosaurus1990 · 07/12/2019 19:55

I had a third degree tear and episiotomy and it was 3 weeks. First time we took it very slow.

Amber2019 · 07/12/2019 19:56

First time waited the recommended 6 weeks, second time just under 3 weeks.

StylishMummy · 07/12/2019 19:59

5-6 weeks both times after C sections. LOTS of lube and going slowly

Babdoc · 07/12/2019 20:01

Three weeks. No problems. But everyone is different, OP, depending on the degree of trauma, amount of stitching, and how tired you are from lack of sleep/night time feeds.
Wait until you feel ready to try, then use plenty of lubrication and take it very gently, preferably with you on top so you can control the depth, speed and force. And your DH must be forewarned that you may find it too painful and he will be required to abandon it. Good luck!

Warminstermum · 07/12/2019 20:05

About 18 months - I couldn’t be bothered with that whilst I was also BFing and up all night.

Surfskatefamily · 07/12/2019 20:07

13 weeks...didnt go that well I think I forced myself to just to try. Not much sex in the first year. Lots of cuddles and support for each other. Massages etc. Try not to pressure yourself 💐 congratulations on your new baby

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 07/12/2019 20:10

We tried after around 8 weeks but it was 6 months before it didn’t hurt.

kmammamalto · 07/12/2019 20:12

I had a birth the same and same bleeding so as yours six weeks ago and we had sex at 3 weeks. We've done it about 4 times since and each time gets better. It wasn't sore first time just a bit weird feeling!

Ravenrob · 07/12/2019 20:13

7 months but I was breastfeeding and just didn't feel like I wanted to.

damnthatanxiety · 07/12/2019 20:16

So many people saying it was really painful for several months. Why did you keep doing it? My DH would hate to do anything that caused me pain.

EmptyOrchestra · 07/12/2019 20:17

11 months. Nothing to do with the birth (emcs) but my hormones were completely screwed up while pumping and the thought of sex was unbearable.

It’s important to remember that no matter how you deliver, every woman has an open wound where their placenta detaches and it’s a large wound. You really don’t want to introduce bacteria from sex until that’s healed.

M0reGinPlease · 07/12/2019 20:26

3 weeks?! Jesus I bled for nearer to three months!!

Probably about four or five months, I can't remember. No pain at all here.

It's whatever you feel comfortable with really though isn't it.

Stegosaurus1990 · 07/12/2019 20:36

Although I had a terrible birth and damage on paper my recovery was excellent. Really is down to the individual. DC is 8months, bf and we are back to normal.

Unhappyvegan · 07/12/2019 21:39

damnthatanxiety because you don't know if it's got better unless you try! There were multiple times we tried and stopped because it was still awful.

20viona · 07/12/2019 22:10

@Unhappyvegan we are the same. I'm 5 months PP after a 2nd degree tear and epi. Have had sex 4 times used tons of lube and it's agony. Looks the same from the outside feel like if been stitched too tight and it nothing fits anymore 🤣 sorry TMI.

Aria2015 · 07/12/2019 22:19

7 weeks but that was more to do with contraception. Did 'other' things before that though. You need to listen to your body and mind and do what feels right for you. Just remember you're extremely fertile after birth!

DramaAlpaca · 07/12/2019 22:21

Six weeks after DC1.

Original poster
Andersonx3 · 08/12/2019 01:12

Wow, thanks everyone. I'm under no pressure, my DH is very understanding and hasn't even asked, this post was just curiosity! I do feel completely normal but also very nervous for the first time 😬

OP posts:
samks · 10/12/2019 09:48

I bled for about 3 months post birth and was very badly bruised from a fairly brutal forceps delivery. I don’t think we tried until around 6-7 months. I wasn’t in any rush!

Blingismything · 10/12/2019 09:57

Six months after a traumatic failed ventouse/forceps/infected stitches.

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