Do I have a say in whether the midwife checks how far I’m dilated?

[LibbyAshleigh]

So, I know how they check the dilation of the cervix when a woman is in labour. And I am in no way comfortable with that, I can’t express how much I don’t want them to do that when I go into labour. I’ve been told ‘oh you won’t care when you’re actually going through it’ but I 100% know I’ll very much care. I read that it’s a routine thing to check but it isn’t mandatory, but I was wondering if anyone else has had an experience with this? Has anyone else felt the same way?

They always checked it was ok before they did it. I’m not sure what happens if you don’t consent.
Surely they need to know at some point though?

I’m not sure but I have to say Like what people have told you, at that point I really didn’t care and I would have been the person that would have before hand.
It’s all a blur of pain and tiredness to be honest. Towards the end I did ask them not to check anymore as it was painful when they were checking; and they didn’t check anymore afterwards but I was happy to do anything to mean she got here safely. I think if things were slowing down or safety came into it I would have been happy for then to check again but I didn’t want them checking routinely

Err its pretty important to check the progress of labour and the health of your baby. Why would you do anything to make labour more difficult/risky for your baby? And they are going to be doing much more intimate things than that.
Think you might have to suck it up for the sake of your baby...

If this worries you then I would worry about your whole potential attitude to labour. Have you spoken to your midwife about this?

Of course you do. Nobody can do any medical procedures on you without your consent.
www.nhs.uk/conditions/consent-to-treatment/

But how will they check how far along you are and at what stage of labour you are at? Perhaps you should have a chat with a midwife to discuss your concerns x

When I got to the hospital I was asked if I wanted to know how dilated I was (I did), the midwife was happy to let me carry on without checking (2nd) pregnancy. In my first when I turned up they asked to check how dilated I was (as they thought I wasn’t in labour and wanted to send me home) and again I agreed as I knew I was in labour (I was 8cm). It’s up to you, you don’t have to been checked if you don’t want to. Is there any particular reason you’re so against it, might be worth telling them your worries when you get to hospital

They must ask for consent first and you are 100% entitled to refuse any internal examinations. Maybe talk to your community midwife now about it and get them to write it on your notes, also ask about how they will assess progress etc during labour if you don’t consent to an internal examination.

Can i ask why you don't want them doing it OP? My reason for asking is during labour they had to put their hand up there to attach a monitor to my babies head, so even if they don't check dilation they could still end up needing to do that

Ime they don’t usually bother early on, but once labour is established, it’s pretty important to know how fast it’s progressing in real terms so that the appropriate pain relief/ plan can be put in place. How you are coping is not always a reliable sign of how far along you are (for instance, in one of my labours, they were trying to decide if they should send me home overnight, and as they decided to, thought they ought to check dilation. As I was 8cms and I lived 45 minutes away in a blizzard, it wasn’t the most sensible course of action.
In reality, checking dilation was the least invasive and painful part of the proceedings, and I don’t really understand why you would opt out. In my third birth, it was actually the way they realised there was a serious problem and crashed the paed’s so they were able to spring into action and save dd.

Sorry but it's absolute nonsense that they need to check unless there are indications that something is going wrong. I have birthed 3 babies and apart from when I had a gel pessary inserted, I have had no intimate examinations during labour.

Many women don't want VEs [vaginal exams]. Discuss this with your MW beforehand. They may recommend it and you may want to re-consider if either you or the staff feel that the labour is not going as you'd like, so keep an open mind - but it is absolutely possible to have a perfectly fine labour and delivery without a VE.

You absolutely don’t have to agree to this. Bear in mind that it will be harder for them to gauge how far along you are and it can impact on decisions regarding analgesia etc. But it’s not uncommon for people to decline vaginal examinations. I think it’s a good idea to state it in your birth plan but also discuss with community MW ahead of time what implications it could have just so you are aware!

They can’t do anything without your permission. Though you have to realise that you’re putting yourself and your baby in danger if you don’t let them. You could be in labour for 20 hours and think that you need to push soon, but still only be 2cm as the labour hasn’t progressed and you may need a c section, but they have no idea because you won’t let them check

Of course you can say no to someone putting their hand in your vagina.

I have PTSD after sexual abuse and thought I wouldn’t want to be checked. I was due to have a home birth and the midwife said (in advance) I wouldn’t be checked unless I was happy to be.

In the event I opted to have sweeps, and when in labour was fine with being checked - although I think I was only checked once.

Definitely worth discussing in advance with your midwife.

Also, VEs don't tell you how fast labour is progressing or how long it's going to be. They really don't. They tell you how dilated the cervix is at that point. Nothing else. It's a snapshot.

I have very fast labours and have gone from 1-2cm (when they put the pessary in so checked by a MW) to delivering very quickly indeed. In my first labour, I went from definitely-not-remotely-in-labour to delivery in about an hour. Someone assessing my cervix at 1-2cm dilated might well have believed I'd be hours and hours, rather than minutes.

I had it on my birth plan that i didn't want any internal examinations as I was worried I'd get fixated on the number on centimetres and therefore potentially stressed. However on the day I changed my mind and was desperate to know! They checked once and it was 5cm. No-one asked to check again and I wasn't bothered about knowing again so that was my one and only examination. Everything was fine.

Internal examinations are definitely not compulsory (obviously excluding certain situations and medical scenarios presumably).

Good luck with your birth

You absolutely can refuse and you should not feel like you can’t. What other women have felt comfortable with during labour is neither here nor there. Discuss with your midwife in advance.

You don't have to be checked if you don't want. They can't do anything without your consent. I would definitely discuss your concerns with your midwife and perhaps look at putting your wishes in a birth plan and making sure your birthing partner can advocate for you in case you aren't coping well in labour and struggling to voice your concerns. I did have to tell several medical staff to stop at one point in my labour and they were doing about 3/4 different things to me and the baby at once and I became overwhelmed. They all moved away when asked (ordered quite histerically).

I felt the same as you, and wanted checks to be at a min, I pretty much had an emergency birth, and I honestly did not care I was naked with 20 people around me. I'm grateful that both my baby and I are here today thanks to those people who saw me naked. They got my baby out quickly and saved him, and I was ok. At the end of the day that was more important than my concerns.
But as others have said you have to consent to checks and you can say no if needed.

You have a say in absolutely every part of your care and no procedure can be undertaken without your informed consent. How truly informed patients are about procedures is sadly another matter but of course - your body, your choice.

I would recommend doing the Positive Birth Company course as it will give you a better grasp of how to approach your birth proactively and in an informed way so you have better control over the experience.

Best of luck.

Make it absolutely clear on your birth plan, tell your birth partner and make it their responsibility to make sure nothing happens without your consent. Some midwives, probably most midwives, will respect you but I have been given internal examinations without consent before. It’s assault really.

I refused with my 3rd. Was no problem whatsoever. I just refused and that was that. May be different if you clearly are in difficulty and you might change your mind by then but there'll be other signs of that too. It's fuck all to do with safety! It's more for convenience for you and midwife to know where you are with things, but there are other ways of telling that too. You don't have to consent to anything you don't want.

IME midwives are pretty well trained in reasons why a woman might not want a pelvic exam, it is one of the things they are very aware of and there should be an understanding of the strength of feeling you have. Please do go and talk with your midwife so this can go in your notes (you don't have to give any reasons why - they shouldn't press you).

As others have said it is something you might find you feel differently about while in labour but do talk it through with a midwife who can put your mind at rest.

I didn't want any, then ended up with induced labour. Op, I would think very carefully about if induction is something you would consider. It's very invasive. I had elective section for my second.