Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Who did you have present at your birth?

39 replies

Dangertime · 06/11/2019 07:06

DP and I are just starting to talk about birth plans (24 weeks) Baby #1 so dont know much. I'd like my mum to be there but he isn't sure especially as she lives a 2 hour drive away. I wondered what other people do? Is 3 a crowd? Would there be time in a normal labour for someone to drive that far to come be there for the birth?

OP posts:

coffeeforone · 06/11/2019 08:48

Just DH both times. Couldn't imagine wanting anyone else there as it's too private and intense. I wouldn't say he was particularly useful though (feels faint with the sight of blood...). In reality you only need the midwives and other medical professionals as necessary.

I think about 10 people rushed into the room at the last minute when DS2 was being born and I was so out of it I didn't care and they all still managed to keep the atmosphere very calm! Can't imagine my Mum staying calm at that point!

ShippingNews · 06/11/2019 08:54

For DD I had nobody - DH was deployed overseas with the army and I wouldn't have wanted anyone else there.
For DS I had my husband, nobody else.

When my grandchildren were born, I was there for two of the births . My DD wanted me there and so there I was , sitting with her and her DH. That was lovely and I wouldn't have missed those times for the world.

itbemay · 06/11/2019 08:56

Just my DH, I am close to my mum and she was present at my sister births but I just felt that I wanted DH only, he was brilliant a real advocate for me.

PortiaCastis · 06/11/2019 08:57

2 ambulance paramedics, dd decided to arrive in a hurry and was born in the hospital ambulance bay, exh was still on his way from work but was too late

singymummy · 06/11/2019 08:58

My first birth was just my DM as was so quick my DP couldn't get there in time 😅

And my second I had my DP, my mum & my MIL at my second birth 😁

I'm very close to my DM & MIL and I was more than happy to share the experience plus my DP can be abit squimish (nearly fainted when I had my flu jab 😂)
although he was an absolute rock & didn't even bat an eyelid.
But having his DM there for him & my DM for me was fine.
I realise this isn't the norm though
Also our hospital policy is 2 birth partners max but we was in a massive midwife led birthing room and they was very relaxed lucky for us

mrssunshinexxx · 06/11/2019 09:00

@singymummy this is really what I pray for I hope my hospital allows me to have all 3!

Runnerduck34 · 06/11/2019 09:25

It's important that feel reassured and supported and if you want both DH and DM there then do so. Obviously important your DH mustn't feel pushed out, but really your needs must come first. I've had 4 DC, 3 births just with DH one birth with DH and DM ( home birth and she was staying ) I did find it comforting that she was there, she was probably a bit better than my DH at offering support during labour. Having said that when it was just me and DH it was also fine but I was surprised when I had number 3 just how much more reassuring I found it to have mum there too, I hadnt really considered it before !

WonkyDonk87 · 06/11/2019 09:27

Just DH..... DD arrived somewhat quicker than expected so midwife joined us 10 mins later

fromcitytocountry · 06/11/2019 09:42

I laboured for 18 hours.
I called my mum when contractions started and she lives an hour away from me.
She arrived with plenty of time.

I laboured at home for 15 hours surrounded by my mum, sister, husband and three midwives....was certainly not my intention but given the pain and my focus on contractions I couldn't have cared less.

When the pain got too much and I went to hospital (10pm at night) it was just my husband and the midwives.

In all honesty I wouldn't have wanted more than one person there during that final stage....it was not pretty!

I'd pick one person whether it be mum or partner and have the other waiting in the hospital ready to switch in as required.

ememem84 · 06/11/2019 09:53

Just dh.

Although there was also the midwife, two student midwives, the paediatrician (who looked the spit of our receptionist at work - had to do a double take...), and some guy who came in and out and fiddled with a monitor. No idea who he was.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 06/11/2019 11:59

Just dh and a lot of hcps (both were emergency sections). I'd have asked my dr sil if for whatever reason he couldn't have been there though.

I think 3 is fine as long as the dynamic between all 3 of you works for you. If you dh and your dm are at all likely to get into a pissing contest for any reason at all, then I'd pick the one most capable of being supportive. After all, they are supporting you nothing else.

emelsie · 06/11/2019 15:06

Just my mum for my first and for my second had my mum , OH and my first DD!

Whatever it you feel comfortable with.

annlee3817 · 08/11/2019 01:15

I had my DH and my Mum there. He gets on pretty well with my Mum and understood that I'd feel happier with both of them there. Incidentally they ended up being company for each other, as I just wanted to be in my zone and was happy to ignore them :) not all first time mums have long labours, mine was just over five hours from the first contraction, a few friends again first timers were less than that. Everyone is different 🤷

DramaAlpaca · 08/11/2019 01:20

Just DH, all three times. My DM is the last person I'd have wanted to have there, she'd have fretted & made it all about her & I couldn't deal with that in labour.

When I had DS3, DH was working away a lot, so I had a close friend on standby to be my birth partner if DH couldn't get home in time. She was very disappointed not to be needed in the end.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread